Catfish came back this week with two new episodes. I can’t wait to see the latest batch of crazies, psychopaths and morons. But mostly I just want to see what kind of couches they get and the paint color they use on all the houses. The thing is, since Nev had the baby they have been making everyone come to LA more often than not and that spoils all the home makeover fun!
On this season we have a couple who had a baby together but have never met. That’s a new one on me. Apparently, Kiaria was sending money to Cortney pay surrogate to have a baby for them. You know, back in the day, people were shunned for having a baby outside of marriage. Apparently, we’ve slid down that slope to the point where you don’t even have to meet the baby’s other parent before having a kid together. Both idiots in this episode claim to be female. So they are going to have to get some baby batter somewhere. Kiaira says that she didn’t know the baby was born until two weeks later. Is it me or is this relationship not a particularly close one?
Both the ladies live in Virginia Beach but Cortney, the one taking the money for the “surrogate” can never make up with Kiaira despite being in the same town. Cortney has a seven-year old son. I wonder if she ever met his father? Both girls are young, pretty and black. Cortney is supposedly in the military. Kiaira wants to get married to Cortney, but Cortney won’t even let her see the baby.
Cortney is a run off the mill Catfish who can’t video chat and always stands her up when they make plans. Is there really a baby? Kiaira says that she can hear the baby when they talk on the phone. She hasn’t even seen a photo of the baby. Because, her camera is broken. Of course it is. They are flying her out to LA. Why? They already mentioned they could fly together to wherever the catfish lives.
Kiaira has been faithful to Cortney for two years. She only has photos of her from Instagram. Kiaira says she is a mom now. Nev tries to explain common sense to Kiara but Kiaira is having none of it. By God she bought that baby for a thousand dollars!
The Very Rudimentary Google Search
The boys quickly find that Cortney has a Facebook account and so do many of her other relatives who all have misspelled names as well. And guess what? Cortney had the baby. She really is the girl in the photo, she is just subsidizing her child’s diaper costs by catfishing women online. Clearly, some dude put that baby in there. Cortney’s Facebook friend says that Cortney and her new baby are very happy together. Cortney actually is in the Navy. This story just keeps getting weirder.
Breaking The News to Kiaira
Kiaira is shocked to know that Cortney has a boyfriend. And that she had the baby with him. I guess she is not a mom after all. She’s embarrassed that she was used and manipulated. But she is going to keep thinking positively.
After the call to the reluctant catfish they all get on a plane to Virginia. Kiaira insists on bringing flowers for Cortney. They go to a friend’s house to meet Cortney. As it turns out, Cortney is not there. It is Cortney’s sister Brittney who has been talking to her for the past two years. Kiaira says “now she is not a mom anymore. ” Seriously, she really has no clue about how people become parents. Cortney had no idea that her photos were being used for catfishing. Brittney would swipe her ID to pick up the checks. Brittney claims she has never done this with anyone else and seems to think Kiaira should just stay in a relationship with her. I should point out here that those beautiful flowers are on the ground. Brittney apologizes. Nev tells Brittney that she needs to call her sister over and confess to her.
Brittney confesses the whole two year scam. Cortney is not happy about it. Cortney says that she is surprised that Britteny would do these things. It is not in her nature. Brittney apologizes to everyone again. She promises to pay back Kiaira. They do not hug it out.
On the follow-up with Kiaira, she says Brittney sent her all the money back. She still talks to Brittney but hasn’t forgiven her yet. Kiaira is still talking about not being a mother anymore. Le sigh. Brittney is very embarrassed by her actions and says she is focusing on work and school and being a better person.