It’s the finale and the Ho, Ho, Ho is going to get called out. But before that happens, I received some new information recently that Kathryn lost her paternal grandmother around the time she “disappeared” and also, her maternal grandmother passed shortly before this ball. And yet, she is strong. She has really grown and matured in ways I haven’t and I’m twice her age.
How do we have time for this lengthy season recap? I want to get on the ball! Oh dear God. I was laughing my head off at Kathryn flipping through Patricia’s book. I have to be nice now because I think so highly of Luzanne and admire how she is taking legal action against that Bending At The Knee site and Thomas and Ashley. She has broker a tentative peace treaty between Patricia and I. So you might notice my tongue bleeding on these recaps as I write them and try to respect my elders. But Patricia wants to send me a book and now I have a good idea what the book is. Ouch! I just hurt my tongue.
We start with Cameran in the midst of Chuck Town’s favorite pastime, mocking Craig. How can anyone be mean to Craig? I just don’t understand it! Cameran is such a little snot. Muchlike Brittany on Vanderpump Rules, Craig as lost his spark. Cameran is there to tell Craig all the things he is doing wrong. Craig needs better friends.
Naomie visits Kathryn and Kathryn talks about her conversations with Thomas at the polo match and how Thomas is unhappy with Ashley. Then Kathryn starts talking about this blind item on TT. Kathryn seems to think Thomas didn’t know that. Girlfriend, she is getting paid up front for this ridiculous “affair.” Kathryn thinks that Patricia invited her to a white tie ball to set her up to fail. Naomie begins to engage in Chuck Town’s favorite pastime.
Craig, Austen and Shep go to rent some tails before the winter ball. They were all out drinking until the wee hours the night before. Apparently, Austen got on stage and sang with the band. Countess Luann has a much better voice. The topic turns toward the polo strumpet. Apparently, Whitney was trying to get Thomas to pay her to fuck off back to California. She suggested five grand would do the trick. Whitney suggested to Thomas in front of the polo THOT that he should pay her $50K to just fuck off. WTF? Whitney, she was leaving for $5K!. Then the NDA was disclosed where someone took $200K to leave town and keep her mouth shut and now they are still allegedly in negotiations. Thomas’ sisters also offered to pay to get her to leave according to sources on the streets of Charleston.
Poor Craig can’t even zip his own pants with his hand injury. He has to use a coat hanger. What happens when he has to pee in a bar? And how does he do the button. I would dress you Craig. In a creepy old fat lady way, but I would do it! lol.
As the polo floozy and her mark are getting dressed, she tells him to fix her a strong drink. Perhaps there is truth to the rumor that Thomas enjoys being shamed by a dominatrix? Yet in all his confessionals, it’s clear he needs an exit strategy. Life Rule Number One is ALWAYS have an exit strategy, Thomas. Then he gives her a locket. Thomas winds Ashley up to go after Kathryn.
Kathryn is very nervous about her white tie behavior and seeing Patricia. In her confessional, Kathryn says Patricia believed every bad thing Thomas said about her and never really got to know her.
I am not in a good place with K. Cooper Ray at the moment, but Lawd he should have been in charge of this ball. The man may have some questionable morals when it comes too Thomas and the #MeToo movement, but he can throw a ball and Haymaker was ridiculously stupid for getting rid of him. I mean, he’s never been accused of rape and his fashion sense is spot on true southern gentleman.
Cameran mention the event is “like the Titanic!” That should have been the titular comment, but production’s choice to go with, “Ho, Ho, Ho,” amuses me.
Whitney is the most elegant man at the ball and then, JD arrives. I thought surely with all the allegations surrounding him we had seen the last of him. His fake fur from KMart speaks volumes. His wife is there separately.
Naomie is tasked with telling the girls that Ashley is a hooker. Production is just murdering Naomie this season. Craig shows up with his date Bella and guess who is going all Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction? Come on, guess! lol. Finally, Chelsea arrives with Austen and the Queen arrives with Shep. Dear God, Kathryn is stunning in that black gown. I’m guessing that did not come from Gywnn’s.
Peyton is there. Why? Austen tells the working girl she is Cruella de Ville tonight.
I have to say that Kathryn should have spent a bit more time on table manners, in particular, how one holds a fork. I don’t even want to get into the Jennifer Snowden and Kathryn stuff. I like them both. Jennifer did say bad things at the custody trial about Kathryn, but they were true, from what I heard, but she failed to say that Thomas was much worse. I hope these two mend fences. The fact that Jennifer is going along with the paid whore at this point is pretty despicable. She’s a mother. The little tramp from Santa Barbara seems to think Kathryn goes to bed every night thinking about how she is winning! She’s so delusional. EVERYONE HATES HER. Meanwhile everyone is talking about Ashley being an escort. There were new comments today on this blind item saying it is not a secret in Santa Barbara and that her family basically kicked her to the curb over this when the discovered the allegations this week. I’ve heard since well before this season started that “Bilo” has a condo on the polo field in Santa Barbara where he provides women to the players and Ashley was always there. ALLEGEDLY. It’s a rumor I heard.
Austen goes to tell Thomas and Jennifer decides to back Ashley, oh Jennifer,it’s an open secret. Thomas of course denies it. But he is the one LITERALLY PAYING FOR HER TIME ON CAMERA! It’s obvious to every viewer what is happening here. Jennifer Snowden is on the wrong side. I am going to miss Jennifer Snowden’s IG account by now she is talking about Austen’s dead sister. WTF? And that illusion mesh on Jennifer’s back looks horrible.
Craig comes for the trollop? Did I already use trollop? And points out that she has accosted him and Shep if they were older. Actually she straight up told Shep she would dump Thomas for him on camera!
On to a Calhoun who doesn’t know how to shag. Is that aging out because I have two left feet and did a lot of shagging over a few weeks when I was in Columbia at a private club (there used to be weird laws there, do they still have to serve you with airplane bottles?) anyway, I was young and gangly and willing to try and it wasn’t that hard with a good partner (he may say otherwise). To be fair, Shep can’t shag either.
After the dance, Kathryn approaches Patricia to thank her for the invitation. I hate Kathryn’s orange off the shoulder look. Not cute on a redhead. Wrong color. K. Cooper Ray could have told her that.
WHY AM I CRYING AT THIS PATRICIA AND KATHRYN REUNION? MAKE IT STOP! #Sobbing Then Jennifer Snowden ruins the moment and Kathryn excuses herself. WTF JSnow? Way to pick the wrong team.
Naomie is a cunt to Craig. Again.
Ashley and Kathryn talk. Ashley says “don’t forget your kids were taken away from you.”
This cunt needs to die in a fire. Seriously. She is the lowest of the low. This whore seem to think that he geriatric accused rapist is the best thing that ever happened to her. That is probably true. Who else can she get pushing 40. She needs to go for the big payout. And Thomas’ behavior on the show set her up for this. Then Ashley threatens her with “a lot of information.” Not shockingly she has allegedly threatened Thomas with the same thing. The rumor is she got into his phone… and that is why her dumbass is still in Charleston.
Kathryn tries to tell Thomas how psycho this dumb bitch is. She lays down the law that she cannot be around their kids. Then she says “Be careful, if she threatens me, she will threaten you.”
And that is where Thomas is at now.
My DVR cut off right when they said Kathryn has 50/50 custody of the kids. I hope I missed the part where the slut is barred from being around the children.