We begin with two really ridiculous scenes. The first is Craig trying to cut cloth for his pillowcases with one hand in his partially demolished house. The second is Shep and Cameron trying to make meatballs. Neither mission was accomplished, and please don’t show me Shep’s pimply ass crack ever again. The more I hear about Shep the more I despise him. Cameran’s friendship with him also makes her suspect. Ditto Kathryn. Speaking of Kathryn, Shep asks Cameran if he should just marry Kathryn. The answer to that is no.
Thomas goes to seek the wisdom of Patricia in her drawing room decorated in an explosion of chintz. They both have rosé. Isn’t it winter time? Thomas has recently fallen off the horse playing polo. This along with pressure from his dad has him ready to give up polo. They talk about the polo girl and Thomas says that she needs to get a job. Patricia hinting to Thomas that she is a gold digger and out right saying it to us. It takes one to know one.
Shep and Kathryn meet at the pier for corn dogs. Eating on the pier is not a really great idea. They birds are very aggressive when you have food. Kathryn is pretty irritated that people thought she had relapsed. Kathryn cries. Kathryn is apprehensive about going to the polo match at Brooklyn for Thomas’ last game because Brooklyn has so many bad memories for her. Living there with baby Kensie was an isolating and lonely experience and the beginning of her depression. This will be a trigger for her.
Chelsea and Austen meet for a date that is not a date at an oyster bar. He tells Chelsea about their breakup. Online Austen said it was much worse than what he said on camera. She allegedly came to his place and threw a rock through a window. Chelsea says she is not looking to date anyone else. This makes Austen feel less rejected. They consider going to the winter ball together.
Naomie and Chelsea go shopping for outfits for the polo match, at a tourist shop. Craig could sell his pillows there if he just put Charleston, Folly Beach, Mount Pleasant or Isle of Palms on them. It is not a place where locals would shop for clothing.
The soon to be ex polo player and his soon (but not soon enough) to be ex polo girl are taking an awkward ride to Edisto Island. Thomas continues to trash talk the polo chick in his talking heads. Thomas is of course in his usual white jeans. In winter. He sits with Ashley in the stables and tries to dump her. He outright says he is tired of being her sugar daddy. She needs to get a job. Ashley doesn’t want to get a job. She didn’t even apply for her nursing license until spring. Thomas says maybe they should just call it quits. Because, you know, filming season is over and he no longer needs girlfriend for the show.
You can stay at Brooklyn Plantation for just over $800 a night, which would be reasonable if you went with a group of friends. It really is beautiful and the beach was unspoiled and not very crowded the last time I was there, but that was back in college when one of my girlfriends family had rented a beach house for a couple weeks. That was a great trip though.
Kathryn has an emerald green coat that is to die for that she wears to the polo match. I have a feeling Gwynn’s loaned her the majority of her clothing this season.
I always thought that it was fitting that Thomas polo number is “number 2.” Why in the name of all that is holy is Shep chastising Craig for not wearing an undershirt? As if Craig knows how to dress. Kathryn is going to the winter ball with Shep.
I don’t even remember where the polo field is anymore around here. It used to be over by the Atlanta County Club. I should go to a match one of these days. My Pretty Woman days of dressing up to go or over but it is a nice way to pass the afternoon. These horses in this match just seem VERY expensive. Even just renting them can cost thousands of dollars.
Shep is stuck talking to Ashley. It couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Then Ashley asks Shep if he would date her if she broke up with Thomas. Shep is gobsmacked. JD shows up and heads straight for Ashley. Count down until Ashley asks JD to date her. Ashley tells JD that every time she talks to Thomas’ father he says, “You’re still here?” I think everyone asks themselves that at this point. GO HOME.
Kathryn and Danni show up and she goes straight to Thomas to say hello and thank him for the invitation. She is really uncomfortable being at the plantation though. She is flooded with memories from that time.
Chelsea tries to get Craig to take Naomie to the dance. He hems and haws and avoids the situation because he already has a date.
Brooklyn wins the match and it’s time for oysters, gumbo and cocktails. Kathryn is holding up well. She is at peace with things not working out with Thomas. I don’t care for raw oyster but I love them fried or roasted.
Craig tells Thomas that Ashley told him that if only he was a few years older she would be dating him instead. No she wouldn’t Craig, nor Shep have any interest in her. Neither does Thomas really. And I certainly don’t believe he is spending tons of money on her. I’m sure they made some sort of arrangement where he pays her for filming with him. She’s hired help. He hasn’t even approached her after the match. She is just standing around watching Thomas talk to Kathryn. Thomas tells Kathryn he doesn’t think things will work out with him and Ashley. Ashley is staring holes in them while they are chatting. Thomas is even mangling Hamlet quotes to Kathryn.
After everyone leaves Ashley is fake crying. By the way, where the hell are the kids? Ashley tells Thomas that if things do work out she will be fine. She says she loves Thomas so much. She says she still has some fight left in her.
Next week on the finale the guys talk about how Ashley has hit on all of them and the girls read Tamara Tattles to discover that she is an escort. Except I don’t provide screen shots to Haymaker so they can’t show that. Naomie is pissy that Craig has a date. Ashley threaten Kathryn and reminds her that he kids were taken away from her. Oh and there is that egg donor comment. So tacky, this one.