Y’all, is it really time to go back to Hilton Head already? I still haven’t recovered from the Ashley screeching from last week. Really don’t believe the story that Thomas and Ashley are giving that Ashley is not getting paid. Those two are proven liars. If she’s not she is an idiot because unfortunately she is driving the storyline so far this season. Perhaps she was told this season is a tryout for next season if she pushes the drama? She really needs better legal representation if that is the case. At any rate, tonight’s episode is supersized so that we can endure an extra fifteen minutes of Ashley’s screed.
It’s been a long hard year of sobriety for Kathryn. I have to hand it to her. Thomas has sent her for endless drug tests sometimes back to back. Her fair complexion lends to terrible bruising. Yet, she has completed every bit of the detailed parenting plan. It’s finally time for her to return to court for the preplanned hearing upon completion of the five-year plan. I admit, I didn’t have a lot of faith in her, but she proved me and other skeptics wrong.
We start with a healthy looking Ashley, as opposed to what she is now, having the nerve to tell Kathryn that she sees her kids more than she does. Then she doubles down and says she knows the real situation with Kathryn. The other girls try to get her to stay in her lane, but she starts talking about how the kids are after they come back from a weekend with Kathryn. Ashley says what is even scarier is that Kathryn is going to spend more time with “them.” In this case, “them” refers to the two children she gave birth to. This little whore would have been socked in the mouth by me if I were sitting there and I don’t even know these people. I’m amazed that Chelsea hasn’t belted her because she is sitting right next to the feckless cunt. Ha. SWIDT? When drunk Thomas stumbles over to the table, Whitney and Danni both ask him to “intervene” and “shut her up.” Yet the stupid bitch continues to talk about reports she gets from “the nanny.” First of all, the nanny has been told she is not to discuss the children with others. Secondly, she implies it is the one that “Kathryn got fired.” In actuality, all Thomas did was give the nanny a new job at the plantation and he hired one of her friends as the new nanny which is why he did not include Kathryn on the decision about the new nanny as the parenting plan requires. It seems that Kathryn has followed the plan to the letter and Thomas just does whatever the fuck he wants to. He does nothing about Ashley.
Ashley goes on and on about how when Saint had his adenoids taken out Kathryn didn’t come to the hospital. This ignorant bitch doesn’t seem to know that Thomas didn’t even tell Kathryn about the surgery and would not let her at the hospital because it was not her day. Finally, Danni convinces Thomas to get his whore away from them. Mostly because Danni was about two words from having her swallowing her own buck teeth. Whitney is very supportive of Kathryn. Chelsea is very upset.
Ashley is legit insane. She tells drunk Thomas that she was her nice sweet self to Kathryn and she kept on kissing her ass and now she is done. It’s like the fucking twilight zone with this one. The crazy is STRONG. She is raging at Thomas and at one point says, “How bad of a mother do you have to be to have both of your children taken from you and given to a convicted felon?” How hard up does an aged-out polo girl have to be to go sleep with one on national TV? She is back at the bar asking Thomas to propose. Damn this thirsty bitch begs for a proposal every damn episode. Who does this? What is wrong with her? Does she have daddy issues or something?
Things start to settle down as the begin to dread the Ferry Ride back to Hilton Head, and Austen tells Chelsea that he is dating Victoria. Chelsea is sort of fine with it. She gets a bit misty. She loves Austen as a friend and he feels the same way.
Shep goes to the bar and tries to maintain some peace with Ashley and Thomas, but Ashley thinks she knows it all and is somehow entitled to treat the mother of her sugar daddy’s children like shit because she is on dick sucking duty at the moment. Shep of all people has seen this with Thomas many times. She starts ranting at Shep about how Kathryn is not a good mom and she doesn’t care about “these kids.” Thomas finally tells her to cool it.
On the ferry, Chelsea says it’s not fair to Kathryn to have to be in the house with Ashley. She whines to Thomas who is drunk off his ass and he starts shouting at Chelsea about how she has no say so about who stays in the house. Actually, Chelsea is from Hilton Head and is hosting the entire weekend, so yes, she does you ignorant misogynist fool. Then he ends with shut the fuck up. Ashley moves over next to Thomas and starts making out with him. I can just imagine how he must smell. He can barely keep his head propped up and she is all, “It’s me and you against the world.” Do you think she has any self-awareness at all when she watches this shit? It’s like two of the worst people in the world drunkenly trying to make out. Whitney tries to be the Thomas whisperer. Thomas apologizes to Chelsea. I keep thinking about Luzanne and Dawn and the other victim of Thomas’ who came forward and hope they are not watching this episode. It would be unbearable.
Back at the house, Austen goes with Shep to Shep’s friend’s bar. Kathryn and Danni sit outside on the deck and of course Thomas flocks right to her. Back in the house, drunkass Ashley has cornered Chelsea and is ranting again. Chelsea is trying to defuse the situation; but, Ashley keeps on spewing venom.
The next morning, the four girls talk about the previous night. Chelsea says there is no coming back for Ashley after her tirade. Kathryn says it’s scary for her to think that those are the two people with her children. Ashley tells Thomas she doesn’t remember everything. He tells her to not say mean things for the rest of their time there.
Craig and Austen made breakfast for everyone. Ashley acts like nothing has happened and is playing some sort of polite game with everyone. As Kathryn said, “Is this girl not embarrassed?” Hell I am embarrassed when I wake up the next day after watching American Idol with Banjo and singing along. He seems to really like that though. It’s a good thing I don’t have an Alexa because that bitch would probably blackmail the shit out of me. I wonder about people who do stupid things while drunk and don’t have any shame at all the next day.
One group is going crabbing and one group is going fishing and Thomas and Ashley are going to stay by the pool. Thomas is visibly pissed he is not getting to go off with the guys and escape Ashley for a few hours. Whitney is also staying back with Thomas. Ashley goes back to bed. Thomas tells Whitney that until they know where the relationship is going, Ashley should probably hang back a bit. Then he talks about how great Kathryn handled the situation.
The fishing crew is Craig, Kathryn and Shep they are going out with Shep’s friend Papa Bear. The weather is a bit overcast. This should be great for fishing. Their first catch is a baby shark. They release it. Craig tells Kathryn that Ashley is trying to get knocked up by Thomas. Shep says they can just buy fish on the way home and claim they caught them. This photo above from Kathryn’s IG is a total fake! ROFLMAO.
Chelsea, Craig, Naomie and Danni go out crabbing with one of Chelsea’s friends gigging for blue crab. The crab are biting well. They caught a TON of blue crab. I wish they would toss me a half-dozen of the female ones for she crab soup.
Back at the house, Ashley is painting Thomas’ toenails. He mentions that an apology or four might be in order and she says absolutely not because those are her true feelings. What a cunt this one is. After everyone comes home from fishing and crabbing. The feckless cunt complains to Thomas about when she will actually be fed. I just want someone to give her a knuckle sandwich and call it a night.
OMG the chefs made some Jack Daniels fish kabobs as appetizers while they wait. When I lived in Savannah there was a restaurant on the riverfront that made Jack Daniels scallops. I’m not sure I’ve ever had anything quite that good since. Bring it to my mouf!
Dafuskie makes rum? I want some of that too! OMG, the little tramp asks Thomas to feed her. Yep, daddy issues for sure.
Once again Shep is the only one willing to film with Thomas and Ashley at this point. He asks about their day and Thomas says that Ashley gave him a pedicure. He asks how long the color lasts and Ashley says as long as she wants it to. Clearly, she is drunk again and telling Shep she is the boss of the relationship. Oh poor, delusional aging bitch, your dicksucking simply keeps you around, it in no way makes you the boss. On the other and Thomas has tried to dump her twice recently and word on the street is this street-walker is not going away easily. Sounds to me like she wants a payout for her departure and she know knows that someone else got $200K so, she’s asking for a lot more to simply disappear. She’s a stage five clinger. Even Shep can’t endure anymore and excuses himself. Ashley responds with, “Good talk.” Then she asks Shep to get her a shot of tequila, chilled. Because she is the boss. This fucking cracks me up. Every time she says it, it is even more hilarious. If there is one good thing about her on this show it is watching her be chewed up and spit out by everyone.
Shep joins the rest of the group and says, “I fucking hate her.” He seem to be over it now, but I don’t believe him. I think he just feels sorry for her because she’s lost thirty pounds she didn’t have to lose since filming this. She is very unwell. It seems to me like she is PRETENDING to have advertisers. How sad is that? Even Shep says she will be gone in a month and realizes that Thomas doesn’t want to be stuck in another room alone with her and wants to be with him.
God, I love all of this low country food. At dinner Shep gives a toast thanking everyone for joining him and Chelsea in their hometown. He tries and fails to make a comparison to Charleston. Hilton Head is now all condos full of Yankees and a lot of the charm of the island has been overtaken by commercialism. It’s still very beautiful, but certainly not a great as it was when he was growing up there.
Austen gets a call from Victoria. She saw Danni’s IG story and apparently Chelsea was snuggled up next to him kissing his shoulder. He says they were riding back in a very cold boat and she was definitely not kissing his shoulder. Instead of trying to make Victoria feel safe in the relationship, he starts defending his relationship with Chelsea. Yep. That would do it for me. Nope my boyfriend is not going off for the weekend with his ex. Sorry. Not going to happen and it is extremely disrespectful. Victoria should have been invited.
Next week: Who is that in the hospital gown? Ashley continues to be a cunt. Kathryn has a birthday party with her kids. And Thomas attends without his polo girl.
This post is full of my opinions of Ashley Jacobs based on what I saw on TV.