The final episode of the Vanderpump Rules Season 6 Reunion starts with the Bromance of the Century. In honor of Jax and James’ 1 year anniversary (who didn’t love Season 5 reunion James?) the cast lists their similarities. They’re compulsive. Needy. They both love attention. It’s all laughter and lolz until Boss Bitch Lala questions the validity of the friendship. She doesn’t understand how you can go from hating someone to being their friend like (snap!) that. James raises his deflection shield and cites her friendship with the WoWeHo as an example. Lala has oh so many reasons why her situation is completely different from James’ but it’s moot. Point goes to James Kennedy.
The worst part of Lala vs James is It’s About The Pasta. You can say a lot of things about Ghetto Bunny but she’s been the dictionary definition of Ride or Die for James. He repaid that kindness by going on National TV and calling Her Man (suck a dick) the F word (I have to imagine, in LA, fat is probably the worst thing anyone can be called). I don’t think James meant to be malicious. He was creating good drama for the cameras. But when he attacked Lala’s Man (suck a dick), he went after the one thing that gives her life meaning. Who is she without Her Man? Without her Chanel purses? The PJ? Lala refuses to be just another blonde in La La Land. Not this girl. Not her.
When Lala flees the set in tears, Lisa Vanderpump lays into James. She’s the original London Gangster. She knows how one treats comrades in arms. She brings Lala back onstage to explain her pain. It’s not about the F.A.T. It’s that her best friend did it to her. Hmmm, this sounds familiar. Yet James can’t emphasize. The cast tries to psychoanalyze him. There must be a reason he acts this way. While everyone else settles on James Loves Lala, only Kristen gets it. Hurt James hurts people. Point goes to Lala.
Sandoval is pissed. While Stassi and Andy Cohen discuss her fake job, he seethes. This bitch. She burned her bridges when she left for New York. No one calls Lisa Vanderpump an old woman on Sandy T’s watch. She barely deserves to sit on this stage and they give her a management job? It’s too much! Before he knows what’s happening, Tom Sandoval is out of his seat and arguing with Andy. To hell with the 4th wall. This is important. Stassi knows what it takes to be on the show. Shine the glasses. Serve the crispy chicken. Even big baller Lala pretends to be a hostess. But Vanderpump Rules’ Norma Rae folds like a cheap suit at the first hint of resistance. He might be a junior partner in the most eagerly anticipated bar in LA history (if LVP ever cashes his check) but he wants to keep his day job.
It’s the final Reunion episode so we get various grab bag moments:
- Scheana admits she fast forwards through other people’s scenes. Everyone remembers why they hate her.
- No one in the history of time believes Jax was offered a marketing job in Tampa.
- Kristen and Katie set Stassi up with her new Beau. They describe him as Schwartz-y. Sorry ladies, but that’s not a selling point.
- To combat anxiety, Lala sucks dick. If one isn’t available, she turns to her baby bottle. It’s not weird, guys.
- “Well, I mean, who doesn’t black out in Mexico?”
- Some poor Uber driver needs therapy from driving Jax home after his SUR meltdown. I think it’s a workman’s comp issue.
Finally, we get to the reunion moment I’ve been waiting all night for. Kristen walks us through the footage of James saying they hung out fooled around hooked up definitely boned. Jax clearly isn’t paying attention because he calls out, “He full on admitted it at the golf course.” So Kristen explains a second time. By the time Sandoval claims James admitted it, I have to assume they’re playing with us. The cast demands Jax apologize and he’s literally dumbfounded. He simply can’t fathom what he has to apologize for. After much cajoling (and Brittany’s encouragement), Jax gives a blasé, “I apologize for misinterpreting what you said.” No one can hear Sandoval’s long winded version because they’re all busy clapping Jax on the back for his whiz bang apology. Enablers, to a man.
Jax and Brittany play their tragedy like a comedy. The breakup wasn’t spur of the moment. Jax thought about it for 2 whole days. Ba-dum-bump. Why’d you sleep with her before the breakup? “Why does anybody hook up with anybody?” Ba-dum-bump. Hey, remember when Jax dumped Brittany and made her leave the apartment? Ba-dum-bump. Ugh. It’s not funny.
Andy begins his wrap up. LVP thinks Jax should join the TomTom spinoff. Katie and Tom threaten to procreate. Crazy Kristen might beat them to it. Jax + Brittany 4 Evah. Divorce-O is taking a year to be single and really get to know herself. We won’t see Lala’s Man (suck a dick) on VPR anytime soon. Stassi’s boyfriend will more than make up for him. Ariana and Tom need to break up. James is a DJ.
Instead of drinks, Peter and Ken bring out shots of Pasta. Because, Andy Cohen loves carbs.
Next week: Season 6 Secrets Revealed
Sandoval seemed angry during most of this reunion. Not sure if that was due to issues with Lisa over Tom Tom, or if he could feel his relevance slipping away. I like having him on the show, but he and Ariana are disconnected from the rest. She has her whole blase, above it all persona that makes his self-focused snobbery worse. They’re getting too old for this and they probably know it. (Whereas Jax will never grow up.) I liked Ariana when she was going up against Queen Stassi, but lately, I like Stassi better than Ariana. They’ve switched the humility vs. queen roles.
and they have the same birthday. also it’s my daughter’s b day too and my daughter acts nothing like those 2 idiots. Thank heavens.
When they did the WWHL show with Dorinda in LA, Tom and Ariana were the only ones from VPR not there, even Billy Lee was on stage. I thought that was strange, so you may have a point about them sensing their irrelevance. They also sat at the end on the reunion. They are getting old though and just don’t have a storyline anymore, so there’s that. Even the Ariana v Stassi bits – Stassi seems to like Ariana even if Ariana isn’t all that nice to her, so it’s a very one-sided conflict (which never makes sense as a viewer).
But I do think that aside from this, there is some serious tension with Lisa over Tom Tom which I wish I knew more about. How does a 5% investor have so much anger over a bar that hasn’t opened yet??
They weren’t at the WWHL thing because they were traveling back from vacation that day.
OOOOhhh ok, that explains it. Don’t have social media, so I don’t really keep up with what they’re doing, but i just noticed their absence. Thanks for the info!
That’s a good observation. Katie and Sandoval even exchanged looks that felt, to me, to be “This is so much bullshit” several times. Once about Stassi being a boss and especially when the subject of their stake in the new bar came up.
Lisa Vanderpump looks more stressed out this season than I’ve ever seen her. The financial burden of that family falls directly on her. She’s wealthy but not as rich as a lot of people she deals with. I feel like something is going on with Ken. Maybe dementia? He seemed madly in love with her when all this reality tv started. Then there was that strange scene where she asked Ken if he would marry her again and he said no. I don’t think he was joking
He was also very strange with Jax once. He demanded that Jax take off his shirt Jax didn’t want to and Ken looked peeved. It was very inappropriate for a manager to do that.
Anyone know what goes into a “it’s not about the pasta” drink? It looked like mcrooni and cheese you slurp and the close-up of Scheena made it look crazy. Can you actually chew a drink?
The up close Scheana slurp literally almost made me throw up.
Sheena look like Taylor from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills when Taylor was eating the cotton candy at her kids birthday party
^I just LOLed. That is SO TRUE hahah
I am sad that my fave crazy show is almost over. I will watch next week secrets revealed. They are already filming for next season. and Jax is going after James.Jax and Brit are.beginning to get on my nerves. My evil mind wants Jax to cheat on Brit again pronto.??
Brittany has zero self respect, but then again, we all already knew that.
James is an absolute loose cannon with a drinking problem with a Kelly Dodd like tendency to go for the lowest of the low attack at the slightest perceived insult, friend or no friend, I don’t blame lala for not feeling safe around him. No “friend” comes for you like that just because they’re pissy. For once, Kristen is right, hurt people hurt people and James has clearly not dealt with his shit. Until he does, he will contaminate any meaningful relationships he has.
First Scheana says she fast forwards through other people’s segments and only watches her bits, then she justified not “watching the show” with the excuse of not wanting to relive her failed relationship. So which is it? You watch your footage, or you don’t?
Such a bullshit artist.
I have no words for what a piece of garbage Jax is, I think he is truly a sociopath. I don’t believe he feels any genuine feelings whatsoever for others, he pretends to as appropriate, or not (most of the time). So right now he’s kissing Brittany’s ass because she stepped up when his dad died, but that won’t last. He showed his true character when he verbally abused her, cheated on her, blamed her, gaslit her, knew he was going to dump her, slept with her anyway, then refused to move out of the building. He gives ZERO fucks about anyone but himself. This stupid girl honestly thinks coming back for more equals being noble and “positive”. sigh. God help these fools not using contraception and inevitably bringing children into their toxic mess 🙁
Agree with you about Jax. It’s easy to love someone who steps up for you when you need it.
If Brittany has a crisis and and Jax steps up for HER then maybe I’l be interested in this “changed man” routine he’s trying to sell.
Until then – sorry not buying it.
I’m glad Stassi finally ditched douche-canoe Patrick, and I’ve been hoping that one day Brittney would realize she deserves far better than douche-king Jax. I’m quickly losing hope.
If anyone had told me three years ago that I’d believe Kristen and James denying a hook-up rumor, I would have scoffed. But this time, it does seem like Jax just twisted James’ words like a soft pretzel just to deflect from his own lurid cheating scandal.
All in all, this season has been absolutely bonkers, and your recaps here have helped me make sense of all the sparkly nonsense at SUR. I’ll miss your VPR recaps at least as much as I’ll miss watching the show. Here’s to Season 7!
For a horrible stupid three-part reunion, this was the worst episode. All the time wasted on Lala. I am truly sick of her and don’t see why they focus everything on her, LVP included. That storming off segment with everyone fawning over her was just a stupid waste of time. She has no redeeming qualities — she can’t sign, can’t act, has a stupid gangter persona — her popularity says a lot about the rest of them. (And her only apparent talent, sucking d*ck, is not aspirational.
The others are just boring. Sandoval’s the same conceited self-important ass he’s always been, along with Ariana and her ego; Shwartz is an alcoholic; James is an alcoholic; and the rest of them are too boring to even have story lines.
LVP needs this show to promote her businesses. She should try to find some younger, more interesting people. Even Peter coming out with the pasta was same-old, same-old.
*Lala can’t sing
she probably cant sign either
Ariana can do so much better than Sandoval. He’s a fucking child. I think their lack of sex is way more about Ariana subconsciously realizing she’s with a total loser than her body issues. The body issues are just a way to disguise her disdain and fool herself into thinking she’s with the right person.
I am not an Ariana fan at all. I think she’s a bit of a stuck up bitch. Nonetheless, she is far too good to waste her life on someone with the mental capabilities of a high school boy. Hopefully she wakes up soon and decides she’s much better off on her own.
I adore LaLa, but she’s not living in reality. Her man will kick her to the curb the second she becomes too old for his taste, which is about a year from now. I think she’ll land on her feet, though, because she’s a scrappy little thing. I just wish she would focus on herself instead of the dude she’s currently blowing for rent and cars. It’s not a good look.
I have the opposite view. Ariana is the one whose motto is ‘Never grow up. It’s a trap.’ I think Tom is ready to move forward in life. He wants to settle down and have a family. Ariana has no intention of doing anything like that with him.
Tom may be dumb but he genuinely loves Ariana. Ariana by contrast is using him for camera time on a reality show. Tom’s feelings are real and that makes him 100 times better than her in my opinion. She is staying with him for self-serving reasons only. She’s even trying to get him to buy a house for a storyline and probably because he has more income and she couldn’t buy one on her own. What a mess that will be to unravel once the cameras stop rolling and she finally dumps him. If she’s so much better than him then she needs to do the honorable thing and break up with him now.
I always got the impression from Ariana she has no interest in marriage or having a family period, it’s not about not wanting either with Tom specifically.
I also applaud her for having the nerve to say as much and be honest about it, as a woman who feels the same, I have caught a lot of shit for my similar life choices. It’s not always easy to stand your ground about not wanting marriage or kids when the person you’re with feels differently.
Don’t get me wrong. I do not like Ariana. Frankly, I think she’s the most unlikable one on the show. However, she does appear to be far more mature than her idiot boyfriend who can’t wake up on time for a meeting because he was too drunk to stand up the night before.
She comes off as a self-righteous bitch, but she also appears to have adult goals which she is fully capable of achieving. Her boyfriend, on the other hand, is all about dressing up in costumes and yelling at women when they say something he doesn’t like.
I think season 7 should feature a Laura Leigh/Brittany showdown! Lol. I think Jax’ head might just explode on camera if she moseyed in….let’s mix it up some!
You’re a Genius !!! Seriously. I had forgotten about Laura Leigh, that would be epic. !!!!
The very idea gives me goosebumps.
Oh my gosh, you’re on to something there. That would be…WOW.
I was disappointed in LVP telling Kristen to shut up. That was just out right rude! I’m surprised Kristen didn’t stand up for herself. She just walked away, but when she comes back she didn’t even acknowledge it. LVP needs someone to put her in her place for change. And why was she even commentating? Because it’s her show? Was she the cohost for the night? With that ridiculous headband on her head.
What? Lisa has been the co-host of Pumprules since season 1. Sometimes I don’t know if people are new fans or didn’t see what it is obvious. LVP is their bose literally. Pumprules was LVP’s creation. Kristin is lucky to be in the show; she hasn’t done much the last 2 seasons & LVP dosen’t like her. Kristin was perfect season 1, 2, 3; now, she is boring? To me the real players this season are Jax, James, Britt, Lala, Stassi & Yes, Scheana (I know everyone hates her, but I loved the horror Rob,Rob, Rob) The rest kind of boring.
Stassi? She’s even less relevant than Kristen. The show was better when she wasn’t on it. Now we get a bunch of totally fake and boring party planning scenes in an attempt to give her a storyline.
I agree, but stassi with her boyfriend was great tv?? I love the mess?
I kind of like dick suckinig Lala. But I will never understand why LVP buys her gifts and coddles her like a little wounded bird. She doesn’t treat any of the rest of them that way.
My recording of this show with a close up of Scheana’s pink lips that looked like a giant prolapsed anus trying to slurp a ziti into her mouth from a shot glass. That seemed to sum up the whole season for me.
A MILLION THANKS FOR ANOTHER WONDERFUL SEASON OF RECAPS FROM LADY C!
LVP is an experienced Star Fucker. She figures it’s worth throwing some (free) expensive boots at Lala now and again on the off chance her super successful, “I run LA” boyfriend actually has some juice. Just like Bobby Fischer would.
Ahhhhh. Now that makes sense.
“A giant prolapsed anus.” Disgusting, Because that was EXACTLY what her lips looked like. LOL
Oh I just noticed there is a secrets revealed episode.
Thanks for the great wrap ups, articles, etc. Hope you feel better.
Have heard that pasta is actually a code word for cocaine, does anyone know anything about this? I didn’t see the episode where James and Lala got into it about her eating Racquel;s pasta but it does make sense that if it were cocaine, that would warrant arguing much more than just about pasta. Thanks.
I’m conflicted about Lala–she is stunning on the outside, but a mess on the inside. Her professed gangsta persona is ridiculous, her baby bottle sucking routine and admitted anxiety issues are concerning and her understanding and use of feminism are divorced from reality and history.
But Lala provided the wisest, most positive advice of the season, maybe the series, when she described to Ariana how she wakes up every day and thanks each part of her body for doing what it’s supposed to do–“I have ugly feet, but I say ‘thank you feet for getting me where I need to go.'”.
Me, I’d thank God, but the concept of taking a few moments upon waking to appreciate the gifts we’ve been given–our body, our health, our loved ones, perfect or not–is priceless.
My family and I joke about it and Lala–“Come on, you know what Lala would say!”–but I hope I never forget it.
Thank you, Lala~
TT already skeeved me out with the description of Scheana’s pasta eating. I just hit play on my recording of WWHL & it captured the end of Pump Rules reunion. I tormented myself re-watching her PROLAPSED ANUS FACE and I am seriously grossed out beyond belief. It was a truly fitting description. Yuk!!!
Great recap and comments. VPR season flies by as opposed to a few of the HWs. Can’t wait for Season 7!
I believe Jax could have been offered a marketing job in Tampa. There isn’t a better Herpes Cure Spokesman or Condom pusher for a Company than Jax Taylor.
1 billion likes????
I just can’t get over LA LA sucking that bottle. That girl needs to be and a therapist chair not on the reality show.