The second night of the Vanderpump Rules Season 6 reunion opens to Jax bellowing, “You can’t even keep a boyfriend!” It’s the greatest insult the serial cheater can think of. Backstage, Scheana barely notices. She’s in her happy place. The hair and makeup people try to ignore her whining (and dabbing at fake tears) as they work their magic. Coincidently, they complete her touch-up at the exact moment she’s emotionally prepared to face the music on stage. While Jax mutters, “I’m 100% right,” Andy asks Scheana if she’s okay. “No, but I’m a professional.” Ms Marie Shay Parks-Valletta Shay is learning a lot in Vegas. If she comes back next season, she’s going to be a worthy opponent.
Andy is gleeful to finally be able to ask Lala questions about Her Man (suck a dick). He points out that the WoWeHo were right: Her Man (suck a dick) WAS married. Instead of popping off in her usual Utah hood patois, Lala exhibits growth. She innocently lets drop that Martin Scorsese loves the show. Suddenly, Lala has a new best friend. Andy oohs and aahs as she details the gifts she gets from Her Man (suck a dick): shoes, purses, cars, a rental allowance. The PJ. Andy looks around the room. Now everyone loves Randall’s money Randall. Even little Miss “I’d never give a blowie for a private jet” is literally onboard.
Well, maybe not everyone. Scheana pretends like she’s not insanely jealous of Lala’s dubious success. And Lisa Vanderpump isn’t quite ready to show open support for the Sugar Baby/Sugar Daddy community. In talking about the unnecessarily expensive cars Her Man (suck a dick) provides, Lala breezily compares herself to the Boss Lady. LVP shuts it down, real quick. “Not like Lisa. Lisa works for it and doesn’t have somebody to buy it for her.” Lala gets the message loud and clear. Lisa is her Daddy now.
Lala isn’t taking the rap for her chosen profession alone. She asks the room, if I’m a Sugar Baby, what about James living on some guy’s floor for free? Over James’ protestations that he does, in fact, pay rent, we get unseen footage of his creepy roommate. Benefactor? Wait a minute. Does James have a Sugar Daddy? Does James have a Sugar Daddy?! All I know for sure is Stassi can’t stop grinning.
We get another recap of the disaster that is Jax and Brittany. I’ve said enough on this subject to last a lifetime.
Everyone is getting along except for Scheana. Looking for love in the form of attention, she accuses Katie of only befriending Lala for the sake of her redemption arc. The whole cast recoils in horror at the bald truth. They look at each other in confusion. Is this breaking the fourth wall? The fifth wall? It feels wrong. Instead of showing us a taste of reality, they decide to freeze Scheana out. It’s just easier.
Schwartz thinks his alcoholism is cute. It isn’t. Katie is going to be pissed if he screws up with Lisa Vanderpump. There are swans on the line.
Stassi misses the good old days when Kristen and Katie would cosign any horrible insult that fell out of her mouth. The terms of her new WoWeHo contract stipulate that all parties must treat her like an asshole when she’s acting like an asshole. Even on the national holiday hereby known as, “It’s my birthday!”
Andy brings up the London Gangster because, George Michaels. I’m conflicted about this storyline. Sad James is my least favorite James.
Bravo has a little airtime between ads so the whole cast piles on Scheana for setting Brittany up with the barback. No matter how hard or fast she tap dances, it’s all on tape. This was a retaliation hookup, full stop.
Billie Lee gets her time under the lights. I want to like her, I’ve tried, but I just don’t. Her perspective is important enough that I’ll deal (it’s not like she’s Dorit). She calls out discrimination against mid-transition people (win) and tries to make Damper Her Date-gate a thing (loss). At the very least, the show should find her a boyfriend. Or a Her Man (suck a dick), if that’s her thing.
I find the Reiki segment problematic. Yes, Kelsey was clueless. But she was conned by Jax just like everyone else in that cast (see seasons 1-6). She shouldn’t be shamed for being as stupid as they all are. Plus, my mom swears tapping works.
Andy asks Lisa if she’s surprised Brittany’s mom forgave Jax so easily. LVP proves she the number one Housewive in the group with her response. Very diplomatically, Lisa implies that Forgive Him Mother, For He Has Money runs in the family.
Lala doesn’t like LVP telling her she’s not the right kind of feminist. Power of the Pussy, and all. Andy has clearly forgotten the celebrity power of mega-Producer Randall Emmett (or he smells blood in the water). He asks Lala how her monetized kitten and body-shaming past fit into a feminist perspective. James saves her from having to answer by choosing the worst possible moment for some mansplaining. Andy opens the discussion to the full panel. Stassi gives the opinion of someone who doesn’t want to alienate either woman. Ariana gives the opinion of someone who’s taken at least two feminism classes. The conversation devolves, as it always does, to Jax hashtagging #MeToo. “I thought it was for women power. I thought it was for women power!”
Katie’s final stop on her redemption jubilee is the reunion. She’s rational, she’s calm. She’s even having sex with her husband again. She gives a longer account of her skylight accident and I’m reminded of recently telling my little niece and nephew to play safe so they don’t end up like my friend Katie. Now they’re scared of skylights and I’m scared of my Vanderbrain.
Next week: Stassi absorbs each complaint about her cushy job like it’s a human soul. Jax doubles down on the James/Kristen rumor. And Lala storms off. Watch out, Scheana. It’s a storm off face-off!
I absolutely loved how none of the women sugar-baby-shamed Lala when Andy was trying soooo hard to get someone, anyone to take his bait. Of course Scheana muttered under her breath but I won’t count that bc it was gift jealously muttering and not anti feminist muttering. Nice try Andy you misogynist little twerp.
Thanks for the recap, LadyC! I gave up after about 20 minutes as I was falling asleep of boredom. This was a totally unnecessary episode but it sounds as if the last episode might be more dramatic.
I am so sick of LaLa and her self-importance (based solely on a rich BF (and I LOVE the “suck a dick” reference each time). She is totally unlikeable to me, although this may be an unpopular opinion. I was glad when LVP slapped her down about the leased cars. I’m really not interested in her monopolizing conversations.
I am just as sick of LaLa saying “My Man” than Sheana saying “Rob” It was a very boring episode. I didn’t even watch half of it. YAWN.
Lala is just crude and gross. Sucking dick for money, cars and gifts is not feminism. This three part reunion is boring and pointless!
Did anyone catch Sheana trying to make a snide comment about Lala’s “material things”? I actually laughed out loud on that one. Sheana, please see yourself.
Made me think of this quote: “A person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn and not easily mended.” – Ian McEwan
Last thing, am I alone in being annoyed with Lisa V during this one? She kept interjecting and it was irritating the crap out of me. I almost wish she wasn’t there. Maybe it was coming from the annoying day I had, who knows.
I don’t know who bothers me more-Scheena or LaLa. I think that Scheena had a pissy a** face when Katie was telling the story about her accident. Katie obviously got the attention that Scheena CRAVED after her “accident” a few years back. I also hope Shay is shouting “Karma Bi***” after Scheena finally acknowledged that Shay had her back all those years. I felt horrible watching her use him as a punching bag!
As for LaLa, I would be mortified if she were my daughter! Wonder what will happen to her relationship 10 years down the road?!
Scheana looks drugged.
Stoned.
I don’t get why everyone is kissing Lala’s ass. She has no idea what feminism is. Her speaking in the third person and her thug talking Barbie act doesn’t make her authentic. I suppose she does “earn” her swag but what happens when she is 40? And now that everyone knows her man is Randall, can she just call him by his name? Maybe the cast kisses her ass because they hope Randall will use his connections to help them?
I like Schwartz but Katie is delusional about him being on the way up. He drinks far, far too much and has zero confidence or decisiveness. He is a sweet guy but he alcoholic induced Peter Pan act is not cute.
Kissing her ass because she has access to a pj🙄 Damn I hate her abbreviations for crap!
Truth. Feminism is not about whether you have the right to show ypur tits without shame. Thats about Puritism. Feminism is about equal pay, access to the same opportunity as men and being seen as competent. Wrong ism Lala.
There have been four waves of feminism, and these women aren’t part of any one. Sorry Lala and Ariana!
Lol
Black outs are a bad sign and he seems to drink to blackout several times. How does everyone overlook this
Schwartz is a lazy man child who will never amount to anything.
I’m still stuck on the Toms handing over money with no contract. What idiots. I wonder what kind of return they think they’ll be getting. They are going to get screwed over and Lisa has already put it out there if they are drunk they’re out. This episode was boring.
Initially, I thought that Lisa demanding checks from the Toms was a test of their sincerity in joining the business. It killed them to write those checks and she knew it. After their showing up drunk in Las Vegas for their first business meeting, I don’t blame her one bit for not committing to them yet. They have not shown their value or any professionalism at all.
I hate the “my man” thing. And did anyone catch Lala say something like “who wants some cute guy? I want a MAN.” ? So gross. She doesn’t act like she loves him one iota. She clearly loves what he gives her though.
yeah – that no cute guy, i want a man comment was telling…and sad
I like Lala. I think the thug Barbie act is a defense mechanism for her, those bitches were brutal to her for a long time. And who are we to define what her brand of feminism is? She is doing it her way and she is a lot smarter than she is given credit for. You know those bitches are jealous of her in many ways.
How can she be a thug when she uses a baby bottle to out herself to sleep!
Well those same thugs that go out killing people and acting the fool in drug deals and shit cry like babies when they get their blood drawn in prison or have to get a shot. Lala has more balls than all those “men” put together.
How does any self respecting woman defend Lala?? When you can stand on your own two feet and not depend on a man then be proud.
I like Lala. I don’t care if its an act or if that is who she really is. She is entertaining and inclusive. I’ve never seen her bullying anyone on the show.
I also think she has genuine feelings for Randall. The hurt in her eyes when James denegrated his character was genuine. She also just lost her dad, suddenly. I’ve been through that, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through. I think next season will show a new grownup version of Lala.
JH, I do respect myself, I have stood on my own two feet for a lot of years, and I was also Blessed to be able to retire at 50 years old. I have a husband who loves and respects me and we take good care of each other. Oh yeah…I just LOVE me some LaLa!
She makes me laugh, she says what’s on her mind, (sometimes it’s stupid shit) but who cares, we all do😄 it’s really not that serious, it’s LaLa. She is beautiful, inside and out. Definitely a “Ride or Die” chick
Cheers
I agree, I love the way she hanks her ‘kitty cat’ everyday! But I think she makes herself look stupid with all the gangster stuff she goes on with and selling herself for things. It’s a real shame.
Feminism has a type? I was one of those campaigning hippie types. We wanted ERA, we wanted equal pay, we wanted the same opportunities in education and in career. I never once campaigned to allow women to show their tits because honestly, we were trying to prove we were worth more than that. Pussy Piwer has always been out there too. That’s how Lala gets cars and presents but gold diggers have been around since biblical times at least
Well said!
Yasss! Totally agree. All of the people talking nasty about her can watch her insta story where she’s with Randall and fifty cent in Cannes🤗🤸♀️
I will tell you what feminism isn’t…sucking d***k to get a car. She is disgusting and crude.
No Lisa La la is not like you. She hasn’t married her boss yet.
I really wish Andy would have asked LaLa how she met her boyfriend..and would she still be with him if he was poor😂
I don’t ever want to hear the word “blowie” again!
I cannot say anything good about any cast member at this point. And to stretch this reunion to three episodes is an insult! Yes, I know—I can change the channel, but this show needs a refresh ASAP. I mainly watch because the world is so crazy right now and this is simply junk food for the brain. But I don’t eat junk food….time to reassess. 🙂
Thank Vanderpimp. She knows the basist of personalities are most entertaining. She used to be this personality but because she married Ken she became one up. Now she get applauded. Yay! She married her boss and became a wannabe actress that learned the restaurant biz. Kudos.
Does anyone know what the cast’s salaries are for appearing on the show? I would think James would be able to rent his own studio or one bedroom apartment based on what he makes from Vanderpump Rules. Then again I don’t know what rent goes for in California either.
LVP gets 500K per episode
Jax gets 25K per episode
Stassi and Kirsten gets 17K per episode
The rest get 10K per episode.
I really dont know how or why Stassi and Kirsten get more that those other ladies.
I read this in an article so it could be wrong.
After taxes and agent/publicist fees, they are probably walking away with around 150k for the lower end salary earners to about 300k for someone like Jax. Then there is basic cost of living and personal maintenance, plus I have a feeling they are overspends or poor savers. Makes sense that they don’t seem to have that much money.
It’s funny that Kristen and Stassi make more when they get much less screen time than a lot of the other cast members (esp Kristen) but hey good for them. If someone is willing to pay…
Utah hood patois. That’s a real gold digger’,s nugget right there. Sheana, of the man hunting jungle, needs to saShay away.
Lala is so full of herself. She is a high end prostitute basically. I also hate how everyone aside from Scheana is sucking up to Lala due to the boyfriend being rich and influential. So fake.
I like Zen Katie. Not sure she’s real or a figment of her redemption, though.
Looks like Scheana will be on a redemption arc next year. She can demonstrate her professionalism.
As for LaLa – do your thing girl. Just don’t mistake it for feminism.
Lady C, your recaps never fail to disappoint. Sorry about WD. I am loving FWD so far.
My favorite shows on bravo are RHOA RHOBH and Pumprules, but after this season I just want Pumprules all year long. It is the best show on bravo🤗😂I laugh with those loons so much.
Anyone that actually says “pj” should be tarred and feathered.