Bethenny has a three-inch stack of bills ready to go to Puerto Rico. We saw some hundreds but I am sure she is smart enough to take a couple hundred in singles for the trip. I have small bills stuck here and there for the zombie Apocalypse because if we can’t access our banks you don’t want to pay $100 for a
loaf of bread box of wine. You are also going to need hand-held can openers, lots of tins of fish and chicken, tons of candles lighters and matches and lots and lots and lots of bullets among other things. I stay ready.
I don’t know where Carole and Tinsley are meeting for lunch but wherever it is they make beer butt chicken. I don’t know of any southern restaurants that sell that. That’s a thing Bubba makes out on the grill. Tinsley is one of those people whose order gets their food spit on. Last week Carole showed up to Ramona’s event in a robe. This wee she as at breakfast? lunch? with Tinsley in pajamas. Carole tells Tinsley that Adam has met someone he wants to date. Carole doesn’t seem to understand what that means. It means he wants to date other people and see her in his free time if he still wants to.
Sonja is preparing to rent her house. Someone sent me the listing a few weeks back the photos look like it’s in perfect shape. She’s asking $35,000 A MONTH. The agent suggests $32,000 and Sonja thinks that is about right. Perhaps I misremembered but I thought it was at $35,000. Either way. MY.GAWD. The realtor asks if the elevator is up to code. Sonja says she does an inspection every year. How many times have we seen someone stuck in that elevator over the years? There are still many things left to fix in the house to fix before she can rent it. Like, you know a complete plumbing overhaul and fixing the heat. Sonja has a photographer come makes some lame excuse about her housekeeper not showing up. Despite all of her efforts to throw herself at The photos I saw made the place looks like a museum. In a good way.
In Miami, Bethenny greets Dorinda and Dorinda seems genuinely excited to go. Bethenny talks about the first plane she took. She really was there before FEMA who kept making all sorts of excuses about why they were not there yet. Bethenny arrived 13 days after the hurricane after raising money for the plan and gathering tons and tons of supplies and monetary donations. I watched this all play out on social media and Vice News. It was completely shocking that a housewife of all people was literally the first person to render aid from outside the island. Incredible. Also lots of things she was doing were illegal but no one was paying attention because there was no power, no water and it was chaos. She leaving the country with way more cash than she is allowed to. I can’t believe she admitted that on TV. Dorinda wonders if they are going to be able to disperse the money in one after noon? They are but they might get robbed.
Carole, Tinsley and Ramona all go to the nail salon. They all look super hungover and are all in sweats. Carole mocks Tinsley’s camo ensemble because Carole is on the cutting edge of fashion. After some Sonja bashing, Ramona lets Carole know that Bethenny took Dorinda to Puerto Rico. Carole seems upset she wasn’t chosen especially after she just made a big donation. Carole pretends like she is fine with it and that it is Bethenny that is pulling away. But that is not what she said on the blogs or on WWHL.
Dorinda, Carole, Tinsley and their three men are all in the latest CouponCabin commercial.
Back in Miami, Bethenny takes Dorinda to the warehouse. It is huge. They have pushed over ten million pounds of goods for the relief efforts. Dorinda is shocked at the remote nature of the areas Bethenny is going to try to get to on this trip. Again, places no other relief has reached.
Bethenny takes Dorinda to meet the four partners in her relief effort at a sushi restaurant in Miami the night before they leave. This trip is strictly to pass out cash. They have around $125,000 and around 25 people to put $300 gift cards into people’s hands. Dorinda was drunk and slurring on arrival. She is incomprehensible and eating with her bare hands off communal platters. It’s 7 p.m. Michael, the guy who is really the head of this expedition because he is a retired billionaire who has put all his efforts into humanitarian work for the past decade begins talking about Haiti where he has been working for nearly eight years through cholera epidemics and numerous setbacks to rebuilding the country. This is just so embarrassing. Dorinda seems to be saying that nothing good is coming out of Haiti. When Michael says that he has kids he’s been working with whose parents never even went to high school going to college this year. Dorinda basically calls him a liar. Bethenny is humiliated. I’m horrified. Bethenny suggests Dorinda should come if she things there is no point in the aid. Dorinda storms out bouncing in many directions unable to find the door. Bethenny’s compassion for Dorinda is incredible. She texts her and tells her it was a weird night and she will see her in the morning for the flight.
Sure enough, Dorinda shows up the next morning fresh as a daisy as if nothing happened. I see this as a fundamental character flaw with Dorinda. I’ve said this before. I have had too much to drink many, many, many times and I feel horrible and embarrassed and apologetic and more embarrassed. Did I mention embarrassed and ashamed? Bethenny was expecting that and you can tell she is a bit put off that Dorinda is acting like nothing happened. Bethenny very calmly tells Dorinda that the way that she treats her sometimes is worse than Ramona. She says she gives her slack sometimes because she’s a drunk. Dorinda back pedals and makes excuses and then eventually apologizes. I like that this conversation is happening in hushed tones and there is not shouting so far. Bethenny says she doesn’t need and apology she just needs her to stop lashing out at her and doing and saying hurtful things when she is drunk. Dorinda says she has to apologize because she wants to have a closer relationship with Bethenny. I found that apology very telling. She is apologizing to get something she wants.
Bethenny says “That’s the thing, I’m scared of you. ” Bethenny points out that she belittled Michael’s ten years of humanitarian efforts. Dorinda says she will apologize to him. But in the talking head that was probably filmed after the rest of the season she says, “Bethenny likes to label people and it’s not fair. And Bethenny has had her moments. And one night does not define people.” So far this season we have not seen an episode without her slurring drunk and lashing out. Way more episodes than not last season she was slurring falling down drunk. More than one random D list celebrity has said on WWHL that Drunk Dorinda is their favorite housewife. This week Brad from Fashion Police said “Slurry Dorinda is his favorite Dorinda.” Perhaps is college “Drunk Dorinda (or Tamara) is so much fun! I love her!” is a compliment, at 50 it is not cute or fun or something that should be a sideshow for the general public. It’s a problem.
Bethenny says that just like she says Sonja is hurting because she misses her life with her husband, she think Dorinda is missing her old life. She says she has noticed it a lot more since Dennis has been around. Dorinda suggests that Bethenny triggered that in her. Again, it’s not Dorinda’s fault. Finally, Dorinda shows emotion. Her husband was bald like Dennis and Dennis reminds her of her ex-husband. She admits that she is missing Richard and that is probably why she came for Sonja so hard. So will she apologize to Sonja? I doubt it. Bethenny says that Dorinda is with someone now that she enjoys being with part-time. She doesn’t want to ever get that close to a man again and experience that sort of loss again. Ah, this therapy session is finally getting somewhere. Dorinda says some days she wakes up and thinks, “Is this it? If I die here is anyone going to find me?” I think about that a lot myself. Especially since it took about a month for people to find the stalker next door. She says she needs a life alert. It sound like she is kidding. She is NOT kidding. Do not ask me how I know this. I have a lot in common with Dorinda. Bethenny basically tells Dorinda that she doesn’t seem fulfilled in her relationship with John. In her talking head she says she doesn’t know why she doesn’t just go all in with John. Then she says that part of her misses it and part of her is afraid of doing it again. Dorinda says she needs therapy. That will be her gift to herself for 2018. Ah. Progress.
I always wonder what it is like for people to see scenes like this several months later. I wonder what Dorinda is saying on social media right now? I wish I had time to look.
Next week: We find out what went on with Adam and Bethenny and Carole. It sounds like Adam wanted to be compensated to do the photography for the relief efforts. That seems weird since he does some international charity work of his own. We finally make it to Puerto Rico.
This was a really good episode because all of the situations with Bethenny and Dorinda were real and not at all scripted. Next week seems a bit lighter.