I am going to try to do a quick recap of this show because I know Y’all want it. I was unable to convey to the last person who wanted to recap the text and formatting requirements and because it comes on on a very busy night I didn’t really have the time to do the proper training. With RHOA finishing up last night, I thought I would do something so y’all had a place to discuss this. Please remember I don’t watch this show regularly and have only a brief understanding of the dynamics.
Lord have mercy, Karen has some hideous wigs. OMG! As I am typing that she is talking about starting a wig line. That would be like Sheree Whitfield teaching personal finance classes or giving legal advice. She is also creating a perfume line. She lists her business background as “working at Taco Bell.” I am not making this up. Is this show always this unintentionally hilarious? She tells her husband who is being sued for eleventy billion dollars by the IRS or something, that she is going to need him to finance her “house of beauty.” The last episode of this I actually watched was her hold a press conference to very carefully explain that she has her money and he has his money and any financial crisis he may be having has no effect on her because the file separately and have separate income streams and separate bank accounts and she has tons of money. What did I miss since that episode? Did she selflessly donate her entire fortune to B. Strong to help victims of natural disasters?
Y’all I was so distracted by the fugly hair that I didn’t see the God awful eye shadow and makeup. Right after her husband tells her she will get much more satisfaction out of her business if she finances it herself (and answer she did not like) she says in her talking head, “People are going to be wondering where I got all this money, And to that I say, mind you business.” If by people she means the IRS she needs to realize the IRS is in the business of finding out where she got her money. I doubt it is from investments she made working at the Taco Bell and they might just wonder if it is from their missing tax money. Somebody’s tryna go to jail.
Ashley, Monique, Charrisse and Candiace go do weird spa treatments. Apparently, Gizelle is not that fond of Candiace. Charrisse doesn’t seem to like her either. Ashley has invited all the girls to some sort of girls wilderness retreat.
Ashley and Michael still are having an issue with Ashley’s mother. Ashley wants to continue to pay her mother’s $3,000 mortgage and give her $1,500 in expenses. That would be out of Michael’s money. Ashley doesn’t want to cut her off. If she doesn’t do it Michael will cut them both off. To me the choice seems to be do you want to lose the income I am giving to your mother, or do you want to lose the income I am giving to your mother and the income I am giving you? The choice seems clear.
Robyn and Juan’s relationship seems to be a bit better. Robyn and her mother have begun a house flipping business together.
I can’t keep some of these girls straight. I need them to keep the same hair for the entire episode.
Monique was in a car accident. It seems she had a one car accident after shopping and a boozy lunch with Ashley. Make of that what you will. They seem to be making a big deal out of minimal damage. Why is Gizelle making fun of Ashley for telling the story of living in a trailer on the lake with her grandparents one summer as a kid? Is Gizelle to the manor born? She certainly didn’t go to any sort of finishing school. Then the new girl brings up that Charrisse asked her if her mother bought her engagement ring and called it a shady bitch moment. Charrisse is very offended that she is calling her a bitch. I mean if it walks like a bitch and talks like a bitch, it’s a bitch. And Gizelle is on Charrisse’s side? Um, no.
By the way I was emailed last night that Gizelle is mad at Monique about something that happens on this episode and there was some sort of social media tit for tat. It might have been on WWHL though. I’ll watch that next. I think I love this new Candiace girl. Am I wrong for that? Did I mention we are not even off the bus yet?
By the time they get to the resort, Monique is drunk. The resort is gorgeous and not at all what I expected. They head off in two separate cars, in the black one we have Charrisse, Karen and Gizelle and that one needs to just keep on driving far, far away. The other car is way more fun but I am concerned for the drunks with wine glasses on white leather Rolls Royce seats. Ashley has to stop to pee on the side of the road.
Eventually they make it to their house with the private chef. The budget for this show has clearly gone up. Gizelle seems to think Candiace owes Charrisse an apology. She does not. Charrisse is a bitch. The usual screaming match ensues with Gizelle and Candiace exchanging fuck yous. I’m Team Candiace and Ashley on this one.
Next week, The girls do a ropes course and Ashley spills the beans that Monique had four martinis before her accident. Apparently, Karen has a blue-eyed boyfriend. Are those blue eyes blind? And the girls ask if she and Ray have an open relationship or if they are getting divorced.
On WWHL, Karen and Candiace seemed to get along fine. Candiace still can’t stand Charrisse of Gizelle. Not sure what the drama was be Monique and Gizelle last night. I’m going to let y’all sort that out.