Ramona’s daughter Avery has graduated from college and has a finance job in downtown NYC. Is this the most successful offspring of a housewife (if you don’t count the models). I guess Kyle’s older daughters are right up the with their real estate connections. I’m impressed that Avery went to college and got her self a real job.
Bethenny feels badly that the girls are being so mean to Sonja. When Sonja comes over to see Bethenny’s newest, new apartment (she seems to be obsessed with starting over in a new apartment is this the third one or the fourth?) she realizes why Sonja is so mad a Tinsley. Yes she is mad because Tinsley told everyone how horrible it is living with Sonja, but she stayed with her and kept complaining and then gave her a five thousand dollar gift card and Bethenny’s charity ten thousand dollars. So if it was all that horrible she clearly had the money to move out. This is kind of a fake reason though because Bravo told her she needed to “live with Sonja” for a while. Sonja knows it and so does all of the cast. Bethenny tells Sonja not to give back the gift certificate. As if she would really do that.
Tinsley and Carole are shopping for “athleisure.” It’s hot and I don’t want to turn the air on so I put on a cute little lingerie set of silky shorts and matching tank. It’s nice and cool. I just happened to look down and see my thighs. I am now contemplating suicide and completely distracted from the show. So gross. Carole swears that she and Matt are not “friends with benefits” but I am starting to wonder because she is in Dubai with him right now.
Bethenny is doing a photo shoot for her new SkinnyGirl jeans line. This woman just keeps getting richer. I am so impressed with her business savvy. She seems to be hinting at having political aspirations and I think she would be great at that too. I’d vote for her.
Luann takes Dorinda with her to look for a new apartment. For some reason it is a nighttime showing. Luann wants a furnished place that she can just bring her clothes and move into. In theory, I would like that too and then I realize I have a few pieces of furniture I need to keep and a ton of art and..and..and…not that would not work for me. This place is too big for her. The realtor suggests a smaller place that she may be able to rent. Lu wants to rent anyway because she is only going to be in the city during filming the rest of her time she will be at her Hamptons home. While the realtor goes to call the homeowner, they talk about Sonja. Dorinda seems relatively sober at the moment but it is evening time, so probably not fully sober, and she tells Lu that Ramona is the one who kept her from hitting her. Really Dorinda? Do you know what happens to houses who hit other housewives? Oh yeah, nothing. But still, It’s not a good look. I am tired of hearing Dorinda compare everyone’s pain and make sure everyone knows her pain is the most painful. Are we going to hear about this in every single episode this season? Because, I can’t. Don’t ruin this season for me, Dorinda.
How much money does PRIV pay Bravo to be featured on every single episode? What kind of discount does Tinsley get for advertising the hotel she lives in? And there is a Nivea ad. So much product placement.
Carole and Lu meet for high tea. This should be interesting. Apparently, Carole wants to clear the air. Carole thinks Lu has been bad-mouthing her. Luann says she was disappointed Carole didn’t even text her about the divorce. Carole said Lu didn’t text her when she and Adam broke up. None of these things happened or didn’t happen for the same reason. These two are not friends. The are work acquaintances. Luann says the both got off the path and went in different directions. They agreed to get back on the right path and put everything behind them.
Tinsley has the maid in her apartment finishing up all the things she needed done for the day and Tinsley walks her to the door. The door closes and then there is immediately a knock as if the maid forgot something but it is Scott! Tinsley scream and then falls to the floor and into the fetal position dramatically. I’m pretty sure she knew he was coming because she can’t go to Chicago this weekend as she was pretending she was because there was filming. Plus this is just overly dramatic. He said he was in town for a meeting and just stopped by and asked to come back to Chicago with him tonight. She is packed and ready to go! So maybe she was surprised. And she is not going to Ramona’s party. Carole says she hopes that Tinsley is playing it cool and not showing all her cards. She’s show all of her cards, shuffled them and shown them all again. It’s borderline psycho behavior. On the way to the airport, Tinsley has to call her mother to tell her that Scott is there. Scott seems perturbed by this. Her mom wants to make him a stocking with his ex-girlfriend’s dog and ice skates or something because, “he used to be an ice skater.” I have a feeling he played hockey and was not doing double toe-loops in a leotard.
We finally get some scenes from Bethenny’s Puerto Rico efforts. She reads off some emails of families asking for her help. I saw tons of these just on her public social media it was heartbreaking. This scene is two months after the hurricane. Bethenny is going down on yet another trip and was thinking of bringing one of the girls. She decides to ask Dorinda. Her assistant says it might be weird for her because she goes down by herself with nothing but a backpack usually. Bethenny isn’t going to Ramona’s party either.
I didn’t realize it was a shopping party. No wonder Bethenny and Tinsley and probably all of them don’t want to go. I don’t see the point of this. Is it a charity event? As soon as I typed that she said it is just a holiday shopping party and everyone gets a special discount and, “Not everything has to be a charity event.” So basically, is a promotional event for the store. Ramona starts moving around the store’s Christmas decorations like it is her party. It’s not. It’s an advertisement.
Of course Ramona invited Tom’s ex, Missy to the shopping party. This is the kind of evil shit that Ramona does to her “friends.” Even Carole says this is totally uncool. Ramona chopped her hair of in a talking head and it looks great. I need to get some of mine chopped off for spring. Luann let’s Missy’s presence just roll off her back and even speaks with her. That must have pissed off Ramona. Carole leaves to go to a Friendsgiving as Sonja comes screeching into the party. She seems like she’s done a little pre-drinking. Sonja is still juicing and eating raw. But she just told someone else she has a dinner after this. Dorinda arrives as Carole is saying her final goodbyes. Everyone runs off to leave Sonja and Ramona alone to chat. They don’t say anything. Dorinda and Luann pretend to be fascinated with a nutcracker decoration.
Someone comes up and asks Sonja if she got a nose ring or it is just a sparkle. Ramona wipes the sparkle off for her which leads to Sonja pointing out that Ramona knows everything about her if someone came up to Ramona and offered her fifty thousand dollars to answer the question, “Did Sonja get a nose ring?” she would win because she knows everything about her. Like the fact that she would never cheat on her husband. Ramona says, “I’m sure. But I mean I wasn’t there at the time, we weren’t friends then.” Sonja says she doesn’t need to be there to know that I would never cheat. Sonja says Dorinda was saying terrible lies about her and Ramona knew the truth and didn’t stick up for her at all. In her talking head, Ramona says that Sonja told her some things in confidence that she didn’t want to share so she didn’t want to take sides because that sounds like high school to her. Ramona did take sides, she too Dorinda’s side. Then they literally start shouting at each other through cupped hands. Ramona says all that Sonja had to do was apologize. For what? Saying her divorce was just as painful as a death? Why should she have to apologize for that? Especially to someone who just announced over brunch that Sonja cheated on old man Morgan in the south of France.
Some young extra named Richard has the task of asking the Countess out to dinner. Then Dorinda. who is drunk natch, comes along and frightens him away.
Back in crazyland, Ramona tells Sonja she is really worried about her because she is isolating herself from everyone and is going to be on this island all alone. Sonja rightly tells Ramona she is the one doing it to her. Sonja says that Ramona never sticks up for her anymore and immediately throws her under the bus. Ramona runs off the Lu and Dorinda and says that Sonja is out to lunch. I really do think that Ramona is a narcissist who isn’t capable of empathy. She goes over to Dorinda and Lu and immediately starts trashing Sonja says she isn’t a friend of hers. She hasn’t seen her in five months and she is supposed to defend her? Drunk Dorinda says she has to defend Ramona on this one because they were two seconds away from 911. Y’all, I drink way to much but I don’t do it in public on television I do it at home on Twitter. And it is still embarrassing. Dorinda sobers up and then defends her drunken behaving with out an ounce of shame. Hell, she doubles down. Poor Sonja is left talking to strangers. Ramona has had enough of her own party and is leaving before “her guests.” Sonja is leaving too.
We’re down to Dorinda, Luann and Richard. Luann tells Dorinda that Richard is there with Missy and she introduced them. Really? Are there not enough men to go around in NYC and we just have to pass the same half a dozen of them back and forth? The last words of the episode goes to Dorinda when she says to Luann, “I am a vengeful bitch.”
Next week, Bethenny and Dorinda go to Miami and Puerto Rico. Yet another realtor comes to Sonja’s townhouse with advice. Luann talks to her daughter about her divorce. Carole tells Tinsley that Scott is seeing someone else. Dorinda gets wasted and starts talking about how Haiti is in a bad place still. Bethenny will probably discuss Dorinda’s drinking with her very soon.