At the funeral for Bill (sob!) Eve walks out sobbing while Frank, the dickswab, babbles nonsensically to the congregation about what a traditional man he was. Elena eventually goes out to be with her and asks what is next. Eve says she wants to murder her with her bare hands.
Meanwhile, Konstantin wanders in to Villanelle’s place and finds it decorated with gobs of balloons and a very elaborate cake. She bursts into the room wearing a Konstantin like beard and dressed in a suit screaming, “Happy Birthday!” She is having a manic episode and is dancing around the house like a crazy person. Because, crazy person. It is not Konstantin’s birthday. She asks when his real birthday is and he won’t tell her. Villanelle is showering him with gifts anyway because she knows he is going to be pissed that she has been naughty. And he is.
Bill asks her if she thinks he doesn’t know everything? Bill was off-limits and he can’t trust her anymore. He gives her the postcard for her next job and tells her since she can’t be trusted she will have to work with her little brothers and sisters. She’s won’t work alone again.As he leaves with an unopened gift she pleads with him to open it. It a small toy. She says, “It’s for your daughter, did you think I don’t know anything?” Konstantin looks terrified. That sounded like a threat.
Not A Team Player
When Villanelle arrives at the train station in England, she finds her contact because he is holding a sign for “Outer City Twitchers: UK Birdwatching Tours.” Holy Imposters flashback, Batman! Eve greets him saying she is so excited to see the Siberian chiffchaff. He says it’s unlikely, they haven’t been seen since 2009. The she asks if she is going to get a rain jacket like he has. He takes her to a van, mutters something and wanders off.
There is another woman in the van. Villanelle says, “Your hair has grown.” The woman attacks her and they try to kill each other in the van until the guy returns and breaks it up. The guy and the girl are in a relationship. Villanelle asks about the target. They say they don’t know who it is yet, they just know they are there to kill a member of the British Intelligence Services.
The First Funeral
We cut to a scene of Eve crying. Ut Oh. Eve can’t be too high on the psychopathy scale because she is almost as sad about Bill dying as I am. Her husband, Niko, is angry with her though. She said there was no danger involved with the trip to Berlin and yet somehow Bill is dead with no reasonable explanation from Eve. He tells her he wants her to quit the job. If she values her life, is she values their life, she must quit.
Eve fights dirty and says she know he cares about her, and that sometimes she thinks that is all she has. He tells her that her suitcase came back. Wait what? How could that have happened? Ah, Now I remember her husband made her put a luggage tag on it before she left. She opens the suitcase and it is neatly packed with brand new fancy clothes. And there is a gift box that reads, La Villanelle, Eau du Parfum. The bottle looks like sort of a spikey handgrenade. There is a card that says, “Sorry, Baby.”
Eve Is Being Wooed
It dawns on Eve what is going on at the exact moment her husband tries to come in the room and makeup with her. She screams at him to get out. She runs the bag over to what remains of the team. They are going to try to find out what stores sell the perfume, and who stocks the high-end clothes and try to get some leads. Elena suggests she take some time off but Eve wouldn’t hear of it. Eve say they are going to call her Villanelle from now on.
When the go into the office, Eve and Elena are creeped out by Bill’s empty desk. Kenny has been trying to tell Eve about some new information and finally manages to get it out. He says the files the Chinese guy she gave him on the thumb file in Berlin seem to show a money trail. There is a leak in MI6 and the leak is coming from the Cayman Islands and leading to a prep school in Sussex. I think that they are saying that the mole is having his or her student’s tuition paid by the bad buys.
Eve says nothing and darts out of the office. She ends up at a sausage shop, as one does, where a darkly humorous scene plays out as Eve talks to her boss about the new information. Frank, the dickswab, had gotten drunk and complained to her at a party that he wasn’t able to find a way to pay for the kids’s tuition with all the medical bills for his wife. He has two kids at the school where the tuition is being paid by the bad guys. Caroline says,
“It is disappointing that the mole is the one that looks most like a rodent.”
The three assassins prepare to make their kill. The guy is like the father of the trip telling the girls to play nice and telling them now is the time to go pee. It’s funny. He goes to pee leaving the two squabbling girls to get into it again. When he comes back and they still won’t tell him their issue he says, “They told me one of you doesn’t matter. Don’t make me guess.” Then he waved a gun around. I suspect he will be the dead one when this all blows up.
Oh my, it looks like the two groups are going to meet up in a town called Bletcham. That is where Frank, the dickswab, is currently. Apparently, he is the mark and they will likely kill him before Eve gets any information out of him. Villanelle and her frenemy go and knock on the door asking for Frank. He’s stepped out but his Mother is home and she invites them in for fruitcake. The mother calls Frank and tells them that Natalie and Fanny are at the house to visit them. Villanelle chose the names. Fanny in British is not your backside but your lady garden. “Fanny” is pissed off about her name. The mother tells them that Frank was called back to the office in London. Villanelle points out he forgot to take his car. The assassins will simply wait for him to return.
See, Fruitcake Is Funny Because… Oh Nevermind, Moving On…
Kenny lets Eve know that Frank, the dickswab, got a call from a landline on his mobile. But his mobile is still inside the house.
Apparently, Frank, the dickswab, has stolen a car and goes roaring past the assassins who after a bit of bumbling give chase. Villanelle is driving. The shoot the van he is in to pieces but still have not hit him. He veers off down a dirt road and loses them for a minute. At that point Eve calls to tell Frank he doesn’t need to run. Frank says they are trying to kill him and he should just kill himself. Eve tries to calm him down.
The three assassins find Frank’s van and shoot it up to high heaven. But Frank is not in it. I mean why would he be? Was he supposed to just wait in the van for them to find him? Villanelle mocks the dumb guy and thet draw weapons on each other. The girl points hers at Villanelle. Villanelle says she came to get the girl and to save her from the guy. The girl shoots the guy. I knew he was going to die the first time Villanelle laid eyes on him. The girls make up. Villanelle essentially promises it will be different this time.
Why Does Anyone Ever Believe, “I Promise It Will Be Different This TIme?”
The girl goes to the back of the van to put something in it and Villanelle rolls over her with the car, then backs up and does it again for good measure.
This whole time, Eve has been on the phone with Frank, the dickswab, trying to get him to run. I have been telling Frank, the dickswab, not to run yet. I have no idea why Eve and Elena think it is a good idea for them to drive unarmed into a machine gun fight. As Villanelle starts to leave, She sees Frank,the dickswab, making a break for it. She goes to shoot him but there was only one bullet left in the long gun she picked up.
Kenny tells Eve that Frank’s mom is not his mom at all but a Russian operative. She chases him on foot with an automatic handgun. Somehow Eve and Elena manage to pick Frank up. But Villanelle catches up to them. She fires a shot. We stop there.
Next week, Eve and Villanelle meet face to face.