Hi everyone, I’m Jon Lee a ghostwriter/bravoholic and I will be taking over the re-capping of my absolute favorite housewives show, The Real Housewives Of Potomac (RHOP)
RHOP is my favorite because they are still in that sweet spot where they aren’t quite famous yet and they are willing to be extra ridiculous in the pursuit of more fame.
To quickly recap this season opened up with everyone continuing to question why Karen Huger the self-proclaimed “Grand Dame” of Potomac has moved out of Potomac to a new zip code. Turns out it may be because of her husband’s alleged problems with the IRS. Gizelle is happy with her new BF Sherman, and her makeup line. Robyn is STILL with Juan but not technically together but on the bright side they are moving to a new house. Monique and Chris are still fabulous and actually rich. Ashley has moved out of her marital home but is now moving back in pending her handling the issues between her mother and her husband. And there’s a new girl Candiace who comes from the B leagues of the pageant scene and is engaged.
At Candice’s condo white Chris is cooking breakfast for Candiace and her Mother, while Candiace is upset that he jumped off the balcony into the pool at Monique’s party. Candiace’s mother comes to visit at least once a month as she co-owns the house and has her own floor called “The Diva Den.” Candiace’s mother Dorothy also owns the hair company that Candiace works for/runs. Candiace is explaining how bossy her Mother is in her talking head but we don’t actually see any evidence.
At Monique’s house we see the aftermath from the party as Monique’s extended family and friends are still there. Monique re-caps her fight with Robyn over Robyn’s accusations that Monique is paying for fan sites to make fun of Robyn.
Robyn goes to Gizelle’s house to give her version of the events at Monique’s since Monique doesn’t like Gizelle and she wasn’t invited..
We get dueling versions of the stories as Monique claims she is most upset that Robyn would insinuate that she wastes money on paying people to insult Robyn on social media when she could do it herself.
Robyn moves from her conflict with Monique to her conflict with Ashley. Full disclosurei Ashley is my favorite, but I objectively think she has been trying to help Robyn see the whole picture with Juan. I don’t think Robyn knows how bad this whole Juan situation makes her look. It’s obvious he’s only around for the kids and he strings Robyn along like he has been doing since they were in high school. As Ashley said he tried to move to Europe with another woman and when that didn’t work out he came crawling back to Robyn because he didn’t have anywhere else to go.
When we come back from the first commercial Gizelle is meeting with her ghostwriter Courtney. As a ghostwriter I feel uniquely qualified to describe this scene. Gizelle is writing a fictionalized account of her public divorce from her mega preacher ex-husband. Gizelle says her proposal is already done, which means that she had another writer for this project. Courtney is super professional and mentions that even though this is fictional there might be some real life fallout for Gizelle. Also props to Gizelle for being honest about using a ghostwriter because she’s not a great writer but wants a great book.
Ashley is meeting with her therapist to discuss her marriage and relationship with her mother. For those who don’t know on the last season Ashley’s relationship with her much older husband fell apart due to mother issues which we are led to believe are because of Ashley supporting her mother and her mother’s deadbeat boyfriend. They made a deal that Ashley’s Mother would kick out the boyfriend but she hasn’t done it yet and it’s creating more problems for dear sweet Ashley. Ashley opens up about her Father leaving and her Mother bringing in this new man in 2002. This is all really sad stuff. I feel really bad for Ashley and can’t imagine the stress of having to choose between your partner and family.
Gizelle is meeting with Karen for the first time since the press conference and Gizelle’s t-shirt which had #s on it which read #TaxReform #FreeKaren and #FreeUncleBen. Gizelle is me at 22 when I discovered you could screenprint things on t-shirts. Karen channels her inner Kandi Burruss in her talking head and says she “sees” Gizelle. Gizelle says the T-shirts were a joke and Karen tells her to grow up. Gizelle explains that Karen can’t move forward with people until she gets things off her no longer as large chest. #shade. Karen tells the waiter that Gizelle will be paying and asks for the most expensive champagne at the restaurant. Joke’s on Karen, Bravo is paying. Gizelle laughs along and invites Karen to her garden party for her book and to hash some things out.
Monique and Chris go to couples therapy at their young Pastor who wears camouflage cargo pants house. They discuss Monique’s recent miscarriage. Kind of a sad scene as well.
Candiace and her sister are working on their hairline. I think it’s contractually obligated that at least one cast member has a hairline.
It’s the day of Gizelle’s book party, and Robyn is the first to arrive to no one’s surprise. We also see Charisse who might have been demoted to a friend of Housewives this season as this might be only her 2nd appearance in 4 episodes. Gizelle’s party is really pretty and her spread looks delicious. Charisse and Karen greet each other icily and the producers replay her “broke Bill Gates” comments about Karen’s husband last season. Gizelle reads an excerpt from her book I’m guessing from Courtney’s writing test since Gizelle said the proposal was done but she only has 1 chapter. Usually there are 2 chapters in a proposal so, they probably threw out the first writer’s chapters and had Courtney write a chapter to get the job. Monique shades Gizelle’s reading and says she should have gotten a ghost reader.
Gizelle moves on from the reading to the airing of grievances. She starts by saying the worst conflict is between Ashley and Robyn. Robyn says she’s “Good” and doesn’t need to talk. Ashley opens up about her mother and therapy and says she doesn’t want anyone to stay for the benefit of children. Robyn freaks out and screams “WHAT IS THE ISSUE! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU!!!” Which is totally normal behavior and not at all someone freaking out because they realize the other person is right. Gizelle interrupts and actually helps bring some closure to the argument as Ashley agrees to mind her business.
Now it’s time for Robyn and Monique to argue about memegate. Monique feels like Robyn is judgemental about her wealth, which she kind of is. Gizelle suggest that Monique work on going from 0-50 instead of 0-100. They also agree to move forward.
Miraculously the women end up at least appearing to momentarily squash their beefs. But we shall see….
Ashley meets with her Mother to discuss the situation. Ashley explains that Michael feels like she puts her Mother over him. Ashley is getting really upset. This is hard to watch. Ashley’s Mom starts crying as well. Ashley gives her Mom a checklist to get her to begin to take control of her life. Ashley’s Mom agrees to work on but not get rid of the boyfriend. We’re stuck at a stalemate here and Ashley goes to the bathroom where her mic picks up her cussing about the situation to herself.
The episode ends with Ashley’s Mom walking down the hall with the checklist saying she doesn’t like this kinda stuff like this and Ashley stuck between her Mom and her husband.
Next week, the gang starts making comments about the color of Candiace’s fiance’s penis.