The time has finally come for Kim Biermann to get the hour of tongue-lashing she deserves. And as the kids say, “my body is ready!”
We start where we ended with Nene screaming at Kim for the photo she has of Nene parking in a handicapped space. I totally believe that Nene does that. She’s just that full of herself. There were so many insults hurled at Kim in that first minute that Andy stops the fight and decides to mess with Sheree by bringing up She by Sheree. Kim was too close to the walkout production was hoping for and they needed to make sure they got through everything they needed before that happened. I’m not even sure he’s actually spoken to Sheree much at this point. She is invisible on this reunion and that is another reason she is gone. Also, fuck you, to whoever talked about the hair petting these bitches do. I had not noticed it before and now it is driving me crazy.
We really are not going to talk about Sheree, this is all a set up to talk about Tyrone and Nene. Andy asks if they have phone sex. She doesn’t want to answer. She says they are not engaged. Not until he gets out of prison. Andy reads a question about Tyrone paying for thing on Chateau Sheree and if that is why things started up again after things stalled out. She denies that. Sort of. Sheree says she knows Tyrone’s character and she is not worried about him being a criminal. Because, a man who claims to be a preacher while scamming people out of millions of dollars, probably has great moral fiber. From my personal interactions with Sheree [See Sheree Court search here and scroll down] I can promise you that Sheree seems to believe her own lies. She is living in a completely different world that we are.
Somehow out of the blue Kim says that Nene met Gregg when he was married. This is the same dumb bitch that was bragging about being engaged to Big Poppa even though he was ALREADY MARRIED. Nene brings up how Kim used to strip at Oasis in a nurses uniform. These two are going to spill every last drop of tea they have on each other tonight! Kim denies being a stripper. Seriously? I thought everyone knew that. Is this just the first time it has been on TV? Apparently, Big Poppa is still married.
The whole Nene sucked Tyrone’s dick thing is apparently something Nene tweeted. She says she did that because people kept asking her about Tyrone and she was over it. Andy talked to Tyrone on the phone and he said Nene stalked him and randomly showed up in Philly looking for him but that she is not his type. Nene says she is not his type. Nene says of course she stalked him and of course she pursued him that is what she does, she saw the criminal and say oh yeah give me some of that! Sarcastically of course. Nene says we can talk to Tyrone whenever he gets out of prison.
Oh Lawd! Here is comes. Kenya v. Kim. Kim is about to bring a knife to a gun fight. I have to say, I’m not a mother, but I have been know to say things like, “Whose dick do I have to suck to get a drink around here?” If I were a mother. I would stop saying things like that. And I WOULD NEVER say, “Whose dick does my child have to suck to get a drink around here?” What type of mother does that? It’s not funny. I love that they played the scene where Porsha calls Brielle Kim’s “ho daughter.”
Kenya may have a bit of a hearing problem like me because Kim won’t look at her and so she gets up and moves over next to Nene to handle this situation. Hilariously, Kim keeps saying “this is not your moment” and “you ain’t getting your moment from me” which is what Kenya said when production followed her into the bathroom in Houston. Kim seems sedated. Cynthia CYNTHIA!!! jumps in to say that Kim came for Kenya for no reason at Nene’s party and started the whole drama between the two of them. Kenya held her tongue for quiet some time before going for Kim. Kim is asked why she cares if Kenya is married or not. I have asked that very same question. Kenya rattles off a list of Kim’s other lies. Kenya says Kim went online and told the whole world her daughter is a ho. Kim barely responds. She seems to realize she is dead in the water. #ShadeAssassin I just had to do a search for “Brielle suck dick” to get that last link to come up. Who wants that to be a thing for their daughter?
Oh my God. Nene comes for Kim after she says she has her own show. She keeps asking how she got that as if there is something we should know by we have not found out. Then she says that Kim has no other income. Kim then says that Kashmere made $15million it its first year. My God Kim is dumb. That is an unbelievable lie. All her shit is 50% off now because she was priced above pretty much any other competing product with a real brand and following. Everyone, even Porsha knows that is a lie.
Again they play the “ho daughter” clip! This cracks me up! Kim says she didn’t hear it. Porsha blames it on the brown juice. They ask Kim why she doesn’t tell her daughter to stop coming for the other housewives on social media. Kim says Brielle is 21 and she is super successful. Well she gets paid for DBT and for a lot of Instagram ads. But DBT and Instagram will not be around forever. There is always something new around the bend. Then what is her dumbass ho daughter going to do? Oh I know. She is desperately trying to marry a professional athlete like her mama did. I just hope Kroy finds is balls again one day and goes to his parents and begs for forgiveness. How is he not embarrassed by this? Where is the good boy from Montana he used to be?
Kandi says there is no one on the stage who is jealous of Kim. We all have things going on. Then Andy says that Kim’s “friends” Chrissy Teagan and John Legend were on WWHL. I don’t recall watching this episode. John Legend was sitting in the audience. AGAIN JOHN FUCKING LEGEND was SITTING IN THE AUDIENCE. And he said, I don’t think going to my concert is enough to offer up your daughter’s services in that way.”
Before the break, Andy sends Kenya back to the end of the other couch. I swear these people love to remind Kenya she is in the dog house. Also, Kenya better be carrying a child in that body of hers because she is doing EVERYTHING to seem like she is pregnant. She is glowing. But if there is some sort of issue in the future, no one including me is going to believe she was ever pregnant.
We are half way through and the show in real time is almost over. Banjo freaks out during storms and my brain is retarded tonight.
Woah, in a random exchange between everyone about Kim’s drinking problem, Cynthia steps up to the plate and says about Kim”she always over here flapping her lips about other people but if someone says something about her she’s got a problem.” Look at 50 Cynt stepping it up to keep her damn peach. No wonder she’s working on Upfronts promos with Kandi and Erika Jayne. #50CyntDidNotComeToPlayTonight
Kandi goes in on Kim about saying that Kandi wanted to lick her box. Kim says everything is her fault. Kandi was also pissed at Sheree about it. Remember Kandi’s tagline? It was something like don’t fuck with the boss or you may get fired. BAM! Both Kim and Sheree are fired. Kandi is winning. Kandi points out that when they went to the Bahamas Kim was laid up with her girlfriend when her kids were there. Did I hear that correctly? I should pause now to say that I hate that high partial pony hairstyle everyone else loves on Kandi tonight. She wins for best dressed that dress is ERRYTHANG! How am I just noticing that dress! Nene says, “To clarify, DJ Tracey was licking Kim’s box with the children in the living room.” LOL.
Kim lies some more about the roach video. The roaches = racism shit is ridiculous. So is the waterbug v roaches thing. Insects to not know the colors or the homes they infest. It happens to people of all colors. Playing the race card on Kim for putting up that video is ridiculous. Kim is a cunt for the video. But that does not make her racist. Kim wants to leave. Nene wants to show her the door.
At the rap up, Kenya says she regrets blowing up on people in Houston. Kandi seems highly pissed with Sheree. Cynthia says she is older and wiser. Porsha says this season was a humbling experience. Nene says she regret what she said to the heckler and has learned how to handle them. It wraps with Andy giving all the ladies roses.
And then we go back stage. Production says that Kim wants to talk to Andy. And he goes to the ladies room where Kim is with her handmaiden. What is the male form of handmaiden? Oh yes there isn’t one. But Kroy is in there with Kim. Kim is pissed with Andy because she feels like she was made to look racist. Then Sheree comes in and Kim is pissed with her too. She thinks she should have stuck up with her more. she is out of her dress and crying. Kim goes OFF on Andy in a rant that I took as Kim not thinking racism exists. It’s astounding. Holy shit. I paused to type that before Kim said “Racism isn’t all that real.”
I am well behind with my posting, and I apologize for taking extra time to say that this morning in Nashville Tennessee a young black hero disarmed a crazy ass white man in a Waffle House that was shooting everything up. Instead of shooting him when he got the gun he threw it over a countertop and dragged the gunman outside. All I have been thinking all day was not only how brave he was but how if he had kept the gun and the cops had shown up and it had been the naked white mental patient or the young black male with a gun the cops would have shot the hero dead. Sorry. Back to the recap but Kim is DELUSIONAL. Oh and ever since I said in a post that young black males are arrested for driving while black? This site has been under constant attack. So fuck you Kim. You are a piece of shit. Bye, wig.
Andy actually says to Kim that there was nothing positive in her storyline the entire season. It was all combative. OMG. This is why I hate Andy Cohen. Kim is a cunt. But Kim was SPECIFICALLY HIRED TO BE A CUNT AND A SHIT STIRRER THIS SEASON. My Sources tell me that production was VERY PLEASED with Kim’s performance. She did what she was hired to do. And she probably had Kenya’s peach until this. I almost feel sorry for Kim. I know for a fact that production LOVED her performance this season. This is such a misogynistic show. I can’t stand it.
Anyway, that’s a wrap. I’m going to need to take a breath before recapping Southern Charm NO. Banjo is freaking out about the weather.