Y’all this day is a hot mess and I have about a million things to do today. I also just tried to hire a power washer to do my house! I am not in the right headspace to write today but I going to try to get it together anyway. So please bear with me.
I wonder how Dorinda Medley was selected to be first person out with Andy? This crowd is already going nuts when Dorinda comes out. I love her dress! Next out is James Kennedy. He sure is getting a lot of exposure this week. Then the entire cast of Vanderpump Rules comes out. But first it is the RHOC, Vicki, Kelly, Gretchen, Laurie Peterson and Jeana Keough. I am already ready to give up on all of these names. This is insane. Next is Reza, MJ and Vida. MJ announces she is getting married next week! I though she was keeping that under wraps! It will be the finale for Shahs of Sunset this season. I think Bravo really pushed for SOMEONE to get married or adopt a baby and I didn’t think it would happen this season, but Bravo has a way of getting cast members to do pretty much anything to keep the show. Which is good, because other than Asa, none of these people have jobs anymore.
Out next is BRANDI GLANVILLE, Camille and Adrienne Maloof! Oh and Eileen!!! Then, out pops Dina Manzo. Then Jill Zarin in a tennis outfit. Andy offers condolences about Bobby. I bet Jill comes back next season. Andy talks to Vicki about Brooks getting married, something I broke as an exclusive here. Oh Andrew, you just love this ratchet site! Gretchen does not read the site because she is just finding out.
Andy asks if the Beverly Hills girls are okay sitting with Brandi. Eileen is not sitting next to her. Andy congratulates Eilleen on her Emmy nomination. Andy asks Jax if he feels bad now after seeing that James did not admit to hooking up with Kristen. He says everything was not caught on camera. Then James says,”I got away with it!” Was that a confession? Sure sounded like it to me. Lala tells James to stop talking. Jill is asked about seeing some OGs like Vicki. She says she is the luckiest girl in the world and has met some amazing women via Bravo. Dorinda explains that at the Halloween party, she started working at two, her makeup artist ate her hamburger, and they kept giving her all these crazy. smokey, delicious drinks. Brandi is sitting behind her clapping. Clearly, she is a Dorinda fan.
Jenni Pulos comes out to rap the WWHL theme song and hangs out with James all night. Nene comes out alone and the crowd loses it’s ever-loving mind. We are now so brainwashed that a women whose previous TV appearance prior to Bravo was on the local Atlanta news for some sort of rental property scam. All hail the Queen. Le sigh. Dorinda got her own chair next to Andy but the first slot on the couch was reserved for Andy. They literally moved Dina and Jill out of the way and on to the back row to make room for her. Nene of course shades Kim and her Party City wigs from season one. Captain Sandy is there but in the audience. Hell. that is a seat worse than Jill and Dina got.
Next up is Carole who comes out in a jogging outfit and sits next to Nene. Andy says he teared up when Carole crossed the finish line of her marathon. On the one hand I’m glad I wasn’t the only one, but on the third hand, I now have something in common with Andy Cohen. Ick. Carole has on way to much makeup. She looks like a lesbian somehow tonight. Not that there is anything wrong with being a lesbian. I’m morphing into one myself. I’m just saying that she looks like someone who normally doesn’t wear makeup and then suddenly goes full on drag queen while wearing a jogging suit. I’m going to shut up now because I feel like I am offending lesbians and drag queens and I love lesbians and drag queens. Oh Valentina, how I miss you so. Anyway, Carole says that Tinsley stood out in the rain for four hours and never complained that he hair got ruined.
Andy wants to talk about feuds. Starting with Brandi and Scheana. They are fine. They were both crushing on the same guy backstage. They have the same taste in men. Yeah, Scheana, we know. Next is Brandi and Eileen. They are good. Eileen brought Brandi the poker trophy she left behind on that poker night from hell. While I was looking for that link I ran across a retrospective of Brandi Blogs that would probably be fun to reread.
Next up is Vicki and Laurie and the “multiple partners” rumor. They have made up. Jeana got a face lift that Andy says looks fantastic. It does not. She looks like white Phaedra. Gretchen says she and Slade are going to have babies before they get married. Why? She hints that she may be pregnant already. That’s why. Adrienne speaks very highly of Paul and says they are getting along well and have no problems co-parenting. Camille has set a date for her wedding. Jenni says that having a baby has brought out the softer side of Jeff Lewis and being a dad is the best thing that ever happened to him.
An audience member asks Nene who she has beef with onstage. She says Reza who is sitting right behind her. She says he trash talks her. Reza says when Shahs came out, he was asked to be on WWHL and when he found out Nene was the other guest he was so excited. Then Nene turned her chair and would not even look at him or speak to him. I believe that. That was back when Nene was openly anti gay. Now she has learned to hide it. Nene says she had no idea who he was and basically had no interest in speaking to him. Jenni Pulos jumps in to say that back at the Summer By Bravo filming Reza through major shade at Nene.
The very last guest is Countess Luann who comes out and lip syncs Money Can’t Buy You Class! She may be singing to a track. Either way, it was PERFECTION.
On the After show that I watched last night. Reza and Nene ended their feud. And I forget what else happens. Go here and watch it if you can. It’s definitely worth twelve minutes of your time.