God I hate these LA shows and the stupid opening scenes. Like I really hate them. Anyway, Andy starts off with a shady boot moment of Rinna pointing out that the boat ride was a lot of fun because LVP is not there. Then Andy points out that Dorit is “looking quite bountiful” Dear God, did she get a boob job or are they just hoisted up into a very strange position? They are high and ginormous. Also, Erika looks utterly ridiculous. And say this as a fan of most of Erika’s costumes. It’s like if her red latex ensemble mated with one of her athletic wear looks and produced a very ugly plastic jumpsuit with elastic at the ankles. And her hair is a hot mess. Is her glam squad mad at her? Kyle on the other hand looks fantastic with her new hair cut and new teeth!
Then we get a peek at next week’s episode where Dorit finds out that LVP cut her spread out of the BH magazine. Not only did she cut her, she reshot it with someone else.
Someone asks who the biggest pot stirrer of the season was. They all say Dorit. But KYLE! and LVP both say they love her anyway. I don’t want Kyle to love her, I want Kyle to get her off the damn show. Who LVP doesn’t seem to love is Rinna who recently said on Radio Andy that RHOBH needs some new blood. She is right. But there is new blood sitting right next to her!
Someone asks Dorit if there is one fight in particular that she regrets this season. Dorit uses this as an opportunity to blow sunshine up LVP’s ass. As she is doing this Kyle’s eyes get as big as saucers. Then the entire theater boos Dorit. It’s hysterical and Andy is shocked. Thank you audience members for making it incredibly clear we do not like Dorit and want her off our TVs. LVP says if she is over it, we have to be over it too. No we don’t. And we are not booing out of loyalty to you. We are booing because Dorit is a lying liar that lies out of her lie hole.
Teddi is asked if there is anything she would do differently and she says no, she was her authentic self. The crowd goes wild with applause. Erika looks like she may hurl.
Next we flip the script and ask the audience some questions. The audience has yes no paddles.
Was Dorit trying to drive a wedge between Kyle and LVP? It’s a sea of YES paddles.
Is Erika too harsh with Teddi? Another sea of yes with screams of yes as well!
Did Dorit over react to the ball gag? YES!
Is Maurcio still the hottest husband? Yes!
Then all the husbands come out to do shots and we are reminded that EVERYONE on this cast is married. Tom Girardi was not in attendance. During the break Harry Hamlin gave Andy a pink version of the bunny for his clubhouse. I guess the bunny has a girlfriend now. At the end of the show they tossed a couple dozen blue bunnies to the audience.
But the best part came on the after show!
Rinna slayed LVP with a dose of TRUTH!
Then an audience member asks Dorit which glass goes best with coke. Dorit was PISSED! And called the woman weird.
Someone asks how LVP felt about Dorit talking about her at dinner AGAIN on the last episode. She says she was pissed and they hashed it out at the reunion.
Y’all the aftershow is so much better than the real show. Skip that and just watch the aftershow. Someone asks if her sisters have reached out to her about the premier of American Woman (did we miss that?). She asks if Andy told her to ask that questions. She says she has talked to Kim about it a little bit but she has not heard from Kathy. Apparently, they are still not speaking. Probably because of the other show she is working on.
The last two questions were for Teddi. Yes her dad watches the show and her favorite Meg Ryan movie is “You’ve Got Mail.” Erika seemed perturbed the entire show.