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You are here: Home / Entertainment News / Pretty Mess: A Book Review

Pretty Mess: A Book Review

April 8, 2018 by tamaratattles 68 Comments

By Guest Contributor, Robin

Full disclosure: I read other Housewives blogs. (Editors Note: BLASPHEMY!) Don’t worry. I am still a Tamara Tattles loyalist. But reading Brian Moylan’s recaps of the Housewives shows on Vulture is one of my favorite ways to kill time. They almost always make me laugh out loud. And I also love Erika Jayne. So when I found out that he was writing a book with her, I pre-ordered it from Amazon.

It pains me to say that I am disappointed. (HA!) I don’t know what I was expecting. Juicy gossip? Glamour? Maybe some insight into who Erika really is? There is none of that in this book. It is very dry, like reading the journal of a really boring person.

When Erika was growing up in Georgia, her mother was a piano teacher. Her mother didn’t have the patience to teach Erika, who learned by ear. Erika, who loved to sing, dance and perform, sought out every opportunity to be on stage. She was obsessed with glitter, wigs and heels from a very early age. She auditioned for her local public school’s performing arts high school and was accepted. She wasn’t a great student and struggled with academics. She came very close to not graduating.

Erika and her mom

Erika’s dad disappeared when she was young and she had a rocky relationship with her mother. Her grandmother was her main caretaker. Erika has always called her mother Renee and seems to have more of a sister relationship than mother-daughter. Her mother married a guy who owned a car dealership and then they divorced, then remarried again! They ended up divorcing again and it was ugly. Her stepfather had adopted her and they fought over custody of Erika. When she was older, she went outside to tell her stepfather she didn’t want to go with him for visitation and he tried to drag her into the car. This led to a physical fight between her mother and stepfather.

Erika and her mother moved to New York when Erika was 18. Erika found work as a go-go dancer. Today, Erika and Tom park their private plane at Teterboro airport right across from Erika’s old bar.

Erika ended up getting married young and got pregnant very quickly. Her ex-husband (Also named Tom) is hardly mentioned in this book. There’s no real story of falling in love or a dramatic breakup. He is a minor character. Erika was steadily working in NYC. She played a dead person on an early episode of Law and Order. (Trust me, I am keeping my eye out for her in reruns.) Her career never really took off, but it seems like she worked hard.

As we saw on the show last season, she did connect with her dad as an adult and he made the comment to her, “My wife and I never had kids.” That was pretty painful to read, but like everything else in the book, Erika kind of plays it off as no big deal.

When her son was very young, Erika decided to move to L.A. Her son stayed in New York with her ex-husband. This too is played as no big deal. Erika says that she flew back and forth for every parent teacher conference, every play, every soccer game.

She was working as a waitress at a fancy restaurant when she met Tom Girardi. She asked him when he was going to ask her out. He got her phone number and had his assistant call to ask her out. She refused and said Tom needed to call himself. He did.

Erika wasn’t allowed to date customers, so they kept their relationship a secret. Then one day, Tom asked Erika to quit her job and she did. They got married at the LA Country Club by a friend of Tom’s. Robert Baker, who defended OJ in his civil trial, was one witness. They needed another so Tom pulled a friend off the golf course to be the second witness. Tom does not wear a wedding ring. He says it is uncomfortable. It is not a big deal to Erika and she says she doesn’t wear hers all the time, but she hears about it on social media when she doesn’t. She and Tom do not have a prenup. “Mr. Girardi knows the law so well that a prenup is not going to do shit,” she says.

Tom encouraged Erika to pursue her Erika Jayne concept, which has obviously paid off very well for her. Erika is very deliberate in her choices and is always looking for ways to “pivot” her career and find new opportunities.

One of her new opportunities came from Bravo. As Erika describes it, she was sitting with her friend Yolanda who was wearing her bathrobe and fighting lyme disease when Yolanda suggested Erika be on the show. Erika had a contract and was filming within days. She says that she was so excited about the opportunity that she never even read her contract.

One thing that really struck me about Erika in this book is that she has quite the temper. She says that even though the adults her life didn’t talk like that, she grew up telling everyone to fuck off. She could be very violate in her relationships. She said that Tom helped her understand that just lashing out at people can cause irreparable harm to relationships and that she is now more careful about what she says and how she treats people. She said she has never really let that side of herself out on the Housewives because she can’t control it once she gets started. I think we saw a peek of that last season and maybe this season with Teddi.

Overall, this book was a true snoozefest. I do think that the real Erika is just a simple person who enjoys spending time with her son and her husband. Erika Jayne is just a persona that brings in the cash.

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Filed Under: Entertainment News, Erika Jayne, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH Tagged With: Book Review, Entertainment News, Erika Jayne, Pretty Mess, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, RHOBH

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. Dancing Queen says

    April 8, 2018 at 2:47 am

    While I appreciate the details of the book (and your recap) , I have virtually no interest in Erica whatsoever. If I had to sum her up in one word ..it would be damaged. She’s guarded to the point of..why bother?, she’s so not a girls girl and she can be volatile and aggressive for no apparent reason. I agree with those of you that say her “friends” are all on her payroll. They feed her ego and are simply yes men. She offers nothing in a friendship because she can’t ever be vulnerable enough to truly let someone see the real her. But she seems to be having fun being Erica Jayne. Her alter ego is having fun. Not Erica.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      April 8, 2018 at 4:02 am

      “I have virtually no interest in Erica whatsoever” Congratulations on being the first person to comment on her book! I’ve never commented on a book I had no interest in ever, I just move on to something else. For that reason alone she’s winning,

      Reply
      • The Shadiest Grove says

        April 8, 2018 at 5:46 am

        Lol. It’s so funny, people are always like I don’t care about so and so but here’s my opinion on that individual. The individual always wins because while you’re thumb thugging or flapping your gums about them, they’re making money and don’t even know you exist. The irony.

        Reply
        • Gloria Huf says

          April 8, 2018 at 10:13 pm

          I agreed with you. I started reading it. It’s just ok . To be honest, I went to her book signing. Let me just say she no Joan Rivers ( OR Andy Cohen OR Melissa Gorga for that matter).. Joan asked all of our names , where you from, what do you do. She was the sweetest & actually had a guy there to move Joan along. Erica didn’t even bother personalizing the books or asking anyone’s name. Let’ just say I was kinda disappointed by the experience. You would think someone would be happy to meet their fans but I felt like her greeting to everyone was generic & just not what I wanted. & I thoroughly enjoyed your review!! Thanks..

          Reply
          • Cheryl B (cherylannburke1) says

            April 9, 2018 at 4:01 pm

            Gloria, thanks for that comment. Not once did I think about how she would be at a book signing.
            Very interesting, and a bit surprising. Hunh.

            Reply
      • NancyintheSmokies says

        April 8, 2018 at 9:55 am

        My thoughts exactly!! Thanks for posting the review

        Reply
      • Dexter Pie says

        April 9, 2018 at 8:44 am

        Come on. A little harsh? You of all people know there are people on this shoes you like, you don’t and who don’t interest you. The overall show is the draw. The description of Erica as damaged and uninteresting is spot on. Just like the criticism of her book. She exhibits her cartoon creature, not herself. How interesting is that?

        Reply
        • Dee says

          April 10, 2018 at 3:15 am

          You’re so right. She has zero personality as far as I can tell. She’s sorta antiseptic. Probably a lot of pain and unhappiness in her but that’s just my take on her. Maybe she’s just private?

          Reply
    • Davi says

      April 8, 2018 at 2:18 pm

      I so disagree regarding her not being a “girls girl”. She wants and expects loyalty, like we all should. Everything else? She’s human like you and I, We’re all flawed.

      Reply
      • Faith D Farley says

        April 8, 2018 at 3:44 pm

        Touche

        Reply
      • Dee says

        April 10, 2018 at 3:22 am

        She said she wasn’t.There was a woman (whose name escapes me) on for just one season. Think she was married to a pro athlete but for the life of me I can’t recall her name. Anyway, Erica said she doesn’t have women friends because they’re not loyal. And that woman did screw her over by repeating something said in confidence.

        Reply
    • jupitersMother says

      April 8, 2018 at 9:57 pm

      For someone with no interest in erika, you certainly seem to know a lot about her. Not only that, you’ve actually thought about her enough that you’ve narrowed down to one word how you’d describe her. Hilarious!

      Reply
  2. Mark says

    April 8, 2018 at 6:15 am

    This sounds like a book written by someone who thought they should write a book about Erika.

    Does that make sense?

    Reply
    • Librarygirl says

      April 8, 2018 at 8:05 pm

      Absolutely. I thought the same thing. Seems like the book was a done deal and they plugged Erika into the concept. To me Erika is meh. Her costuming is beginning to be distracting and I don’t find much of interest underneath the artifice.

      Reply
      • Bella says

        April 25, 2018 at 1:36 am

        I completely agree. Unfortunately her costumes/outfits when… Let’s say as an example.. Germany… is beginning to be ridiculous… and it doesn’t help that some of the other ladies…example Lisa Rinna… has started to join in on the ridiculous attire. I felt sooooo embarrassed for them. They just looked crazy. Thank god Teddy called it out. Come on ladies… Geez!

        Reply
        • Cindy Simmons says

          April 27, 2018 at 5:19 pm

          They are starting to look like aging clowns.

          Reply
  3. Toni says

    April 8, 2018 at 8:32 am

    Thanks for the review! I don’t buy the she didn’t read her contract bit. Erika is married to a highly skilled and successful attorney and she’s not dumb. She would had to have at least given it to her husband for review before signing if not going through full blown negotiations.

    Reply
    • Sabrina says

      April 9, 2018 at 3:30 pm

      I don’t believe that Erika Jayne just brings in cash. I suspect that character plays a significant role in Erika’s life- from releasing her inhibitions, to avoiding being the lawyer’s wife, to being a successful younger woman with an exhibitionist side, etc…..it helps her play a role she can’t as Tom’s wife. And allows her to succeed in a different world . on a stage.

      Reply
  4. Nikki says

    April 8, 2018 at 8:46 am

    I like Erika so I appreciate the recap of the book. I wish she was able to show her son on the show and them spending time together, I would love to see that relationship 🙂 but I totally understand her reasons for not wanting to show him or talk about him in too much detail. That alone makes her a good protective mother. We have no idea what the agreement between her and her ex was when he was growing up so I am going to assume it worked out fine for them all. Just like when a dad that travels for work a lot, she is entitled to travel for her work as well. Thanks for the recap!

    Reply
    • EnglishRose says

      April 8, 2018 at 5:32 pm

      I’d like to see them together also, but since her son is a police officer, it could potentially place him in a harmful position if he was on the show. Being exposed to the fame Tom and Erika have could make him a target. And, yes. I do also think she’s a good, protective mother.

      Reply
      • jupitersMother says

        April 8, 2018 at 10:02 pm

        Exactly!

        Reply
  5. Suzanne says

    April 8, 2018 at 9:22 am

    Thanks for the review. While she is not my favorite housewife, I find her interesting. This season we have seen glimpses of her that make her more human and show her in a new light. She will never be truly one of the girls and she is still a little closed in about things but I still like her better than I ever did Eileen whose sole job was to support Lisa Rinna in all things.

    Reply
  6. thill says

    April 8, 2018 at 9:26 am

    I am not a fan of Brian Moylan’s writing. I do read Vulture occasionally but his recaps have an over-the-top shtick at the end of each, where he writes some fantasy as if it’s part of the show. E.g., he pretends Eileen is somehow present in the shadows at RHBH events, or Jill is stalking some RHNY event, or that the two Toms have gay sex. They bore me.

    Reply
    • NancyintheSmokies says

      April 8, 2018 at 9:58 am

      Me either-they suck cannot believe she chose him to write her book!!!

      Reply
    • Jen says

      April 8, 2018 at 12:20 pm

      He tries to hard. Not a fan of his. Thanks for the recap of the book. I wondered about it.

      Reply
    • SabrinaToo says

      April 8, 2018 at 12:59 pm

      I think Brian has become somewhat biased in his weekly recaps since writing Erika’s biography. He never wants to call her out anymore when her behavior is a little over the top.

      Reply
      • K says

        April 8, 2018 at 1:08 pm

        I agree!

        Reply
  7. Liss says

    April 8, 2018 at 10:57 am

    Even the recap is dull. I too, believe she is damaged. She is nasty with her temper and doesn’t show herself at all.

    Reply
  8. cjbomb says

    April 8, 2018 at 11:13 am

    Any woman who would leave her kid to pursue her dreams of “stardom”, which were basically paid for by her much older husband who I’m SURE she would have fallen for had he not been rich makes me a bit nauseous. Actually a lot nauseous.

    Reply
    • Jen says

      April 8, 2018 at 12:22 pm

      Lots of women do it for a lot less. Why is it ok if men do It? The thought that a son preferred to stay where he already lived (school, friends, etc) with his father doesn’t alarm me one bit. I would never leave my children with their father and move but some women are ok with it. Doesn’t make them bad people.

      Reply
      • Nikki says

        April 8, 2018 at 12:29 pm

        I agree Jen!

        Reply
      • cjbomb says

        April 8, 2018 at 6:23 pm

        Don’t agree. Sorry.

        Reply
        • cjbomb says

          April 8, 2018 at 6:59 pm

          And I apply that same consideration to a dad who would take off for similar reasons. I think that is equally nauseating.

          Reply
          • Katherine 2.0 says

            April 9, 2018 at 11:47 am

            My maternal instinct agrees with your position, CJ. However, there are exceptions, and if that involves leaving temporarily to make a better life for the kid left behind, so be it. After 2008, lots of parents had to make hard decisions about moving for available jobs, or opting to see their kids on the weekends if the job is far away.
            As much as I abhor the idea of leaving a little one a continent away to chase a dream, I cannot discount the fact that we don’t know the circumstances or the conditions. And she was very young. She could have opted not to have him at all. I have no doubt she loves her son, and in her mind, she was likely trying to make a secure future for both of them.

            Reply
      • mystrox says

        April 8, 2018 at 9:43 pm

        I agree Jen I am the same way could not leave my girls but do not knock someone that does cause it is their business and My dad was in the Navy he would be on Med runs for 6 months at a time.. He could not come home at all and it would be a full 6 months
        Back then didn’t have the Tech to communicate like people do now

        Reply
    • Nikki says

      April 8, 2018 at 12:24 pm

      But how do any of us know if she “left” him or if she was actually able to fly back and forth to visit regularly and or speak to him on the phone, stay in touch with his father regularly?? She very well may have done that. So what if she found an older rich man and they got married and he spoils her? They seem to be happy together for 15+ years and I don’t hear her son or ex complaining about her? Again, if it was a father that regularly traveled for business, then no one would bat an eye. EJ just happens to be very beautiful and smart and got what she wanted with no apologies.. Good for her 🙂

      Reply
      • Gretta stanelle says

        April 8, 2018 at 1:24 pm

        Agreed. Doing what is in your child’s best interest makes you a good parent! Would it have been in his best interest to drag him across the counry?

        Reply
        • cjbomb says

          April 8, 2018 at 7:06 pm

          SHE WAS A WAITRESS

          Reply
          • SweetT says

            April 10, 2018 at 7:02 pm

            She nauseates you for the following reasons:
            1 – She left her child to pursue career ambitions. This is good it teaches kids to go for what they want in life and does not give them the guilt that their parents dreams were ruined because they were born. It also means that the kid themselves will not be forced to become a star to fulfill their parents dreams. I personally feel it is important to continue to follow goals when you have kids. Look how goal and career oriented her son became. There is nothing stopping him from being a cop.
            2 – she left him with the dad. I know so many men who wish they could be the full time parent. But our society is sexist and gives the custody to the woman before the man, even in dangerous situations.
            3- she married a rich man who is older than her. Well the way I see it she married a man who respected her and treated her as a person. Being a hot chick she probably just got disgusting offers from men. He is also powerful, intelligent and funny. All that is hot. Age doesn’t matter when you are an adult. I have a boyfriend twenty years older than me and we are a great match. Never run out of things to say and always have fun.
            4. She is a waitress. A waitress is a legitimate job and is not degrading to have. Lots of people are waitresses and they are not less than you.

            SO as it turns out people can live their life however they sit fit and your superior attitude doesn’t change her paycheck.

            Reply
    • HarmonyHW says

      April 8, 2018 at 2:02 pm

      I can only assume that women hate on other women because they’ve run out of things to hate about themselves. – unknown author

      Erika was working……only men get to pursue careers after parenthood?

      Reply
      • Lawstangel says

        April 9, 2018 at 9:23 pm

        Marianne Williamson has a very interesting perspective on why women treat other women poorly. I will disagree with one thing she said, Pre-nups when drafted appropriately ARE iron clad, except in the case of fraud.

        Reply
    • Ronda says

      April 8, 2018 at 6:12 pm

      My parents both had highly respected jobs that made them both have to travel overseas, sometimes at the same time. I was raised by a “family ” who took care of me, and I learned so much from each of them. Most of all, to be proud of both of my parents and the fabulous things I got to experience.
      With that said, I had a lot of love from different people. Don’t limit the people who love your children. Be mindful, be cautious, and be aware but remember “it truly does take a village ” and we need experience to grow.
      Cheers TT and fellow TT Homies 😉

      Reply
    • Dirto says

      April 9, 2018 at 8:15 am

      Yes totally, she was a whore who gambled well, and married into money. Any woman who leaves her child to be raised by anyone but her is suspect.

      Reply
      • KelnLola says

        April 9, 2018 at 3:48 pm

        You are a disgusting person. I have to leave it at that.

        Reply
    • beekay says

      April 9, 2018 at 1:43 pm

      You say she wouldn’t have fallen for him if he hadn’t been rich. Would he have fallen for her if she hadn’t been pretty? Being rich and successful is part of who Tom Girardi is. Just like being pretty is part of Erika.

      Removing one of someone’s attributes and asking if someone would have married them without it is hypothetical and not realistic. Here’s an example: If your husband was a woman would you have fallen in love with him? Hard to say, but probably not because him being male is part of what made him the person you fell in love with.

      Reply
    • KelnLola says

      April 9, 2018 at 3:43 pm

      You literally feel nauseated (correct word) when you think about Erika’s mothering choices? This has been discussed ad nauseum.

      What i CANNOT believe is that there are still people roaming around believing that if another person behaves differently than you do, it makes you sick.

      Reply
      • KelnLola says

        April 9, 2018 at 3:44 pm

        That comment was to CJbomb.

        Reply
    • Ktina says

      April 9, 2018 at 5:22 pm

      This^^^^^^^^^^^ and anyone who feels differently isn’t a mother. Moms have that gene that makes us put our children above anything and anyone. If you don’t have it, you shouldn’t have had a kid. Ericka left her son to work in a bar and she didn’t miss a parent/teacher conference, soccer game, nothing? Sure.

      Reply
  9. SaylaSpeaks says

    April 8, 2018 at 12:16 pm

    Sorry but I highly doubt Erika Jayne is profitable lol

    Reply
    • Christina says

      April 11, 2018 at 7:05 am

      Agreed – I doubt she breaks even (even before you factor in the cost of the glam squad).

      Reply
  10. Beverly Sawyer says

    April 8, 2018 at 12:31 pm

    Just read this article to see if it summed up my thoughts about her. There is no way I would waste my time reading her book. I thought she was the only one , and her crew that were in love with her and I was correct.

    Reply
  11. scottishwitch says

    April 8, 2018 at 1:10 pm

    malware back and bad

    Reply
    • Vaness says

      April 8, 2018 at 8:04 pm

      Same thing happened to me about 29mins. Ago closed page n went back on again in new window so gar good . But time will tell happens all the time or at least once a day. Never commented b4.

      Reply
  12. scottishwitch says

    April 8, 2018 at 1:26 pm

    Have to race 20 times to get on and blicked by ads for free stiff from fb.

    Reply
  13. Mrs.K says

    April 8, 2018 at 1:52 pm

    Errrr….it is very clear Erika has a major temper. She is damaged goods. Also her Tom story seems to change because she used to say he asked her out on a dates several times and she said no but now it is written that she made the first move by asking him when is he going to ask her out?

    Reply
    • Cheryl B (cherylannburke1) says

      April 8, 2018 at 2:10 pm

      I noticed that also. He pursued her because he was a regular customer and I never think I’ve heard her approach him.

      Reply
      • SweetT says

        April 10, 2018 at 8:43 pm

        She did. She gave him her number and said “did you hear that I’m single now?” I remember it well because I liked that she was bold and made the first move. I never heard that he asked her out at all.

        Reply
  14. Cho says

    April 8, 2018 at 1:53 pm

    This was an interesting read thank you!

    I thought it was telling how self-aware she is about her bad temper with people. I’m glad we have gotten the watered-down version, because seeing Eileen and Teddi get hammered by her was NOT pretty in any sense of the word.

    Reply
  15. Cheryl B (cherylannburke1) says

    April 8, 2018 at 2:06 pm

    Thank you Robin so much for that review. I felt like I read the book, which I was curious about, but wasn’t quite ready to buy it.
    It’s #9 on best seller list? Hmmm.
    If that was a goal of hers, she hit another.
    That’s impressive.

    Reply
    • Cheryl B (cherylannburke1) says

      April 8, 2018 at 6:41 pm

      Must say, a lot of how she felt, how situations affected her and her life, would have been great.
      I’m sure it’s hard to expose yourself to that degree (though just on this site, I’ve exposed myself probably more than I ever have.)
      Writing a book about yourself I think it’s okay to let people in. If you don’t, it’s a magazine article.

      Reply
  16. EnglishRose says

    April 8, 2018 at 7:12 pm

    I don’t know why I was under the impression that her mother was a single mom and that they were really poor. If her mom married someone who owned a car dealership, that’s hardly living in poverty. Also, she must have lived with her mom for quite a while if the stepdad adopted her and wanted custody. Just wondering.

    Reply
    • beekay says

      April 9, 2018 at 1:46 pm

      I agree. Erika said that when she wanted a doll or a bike, she had to work for it. That sounded like her family didn’t have the money to buy her things.

      Reply
      • SweetT says

        April 10, 2018 at 8:45 pm

        I think she had to work for it to learn work ethic and not have everything given to her. I received some toys and others I had to buy with chore money/allowance.

        Reply
  17. JustJenn says

    April 8, 2018 at 9:29 pm

    Thanks for the recap. I find it odd that Erika has a bad temper and has yet to go off on Dorit. Maybe because Teddi and Eileen are more meek and soft spoken? Her story changes a lot on a few things, so I just wonder how much of her story is authentic.

    Reply
    • KelnLola says

      April 9, 2018 at 4:14 pm

      I really feel like Erika wants to tour with Boy George. That may be a reason she is team Dorit no matter how deplorable Dorit behaves this season.

      Reply
      • Cheryl B (cherylannburke1) says

        April 9, 2018 at 9:58 pm

        KeInLola, That would be exciting to tour with Boy George.
        If she got the offer, what an opportunity.
        Does she do full shows, or just opening?
        She is hot right now, and like Todd told Kandi, “Do it now while people want it” or something to that effect.
        She’s done so much since starting RHBH, and had stuff already happening.
        She is very fortunate, and not many people truly live their dreams.
        Just hoping that she keeps the ego in check, and looks in the mirror to make sure that she sees herself looking back. 😉

        Reply
  18. Brenda says

    April 9, 2018 at 12:03 am

    At first I loved Erica now she’s as fake as her old wigs. She got the she wanted she turned into bitch. Maybe that’s why Y&R don’t want you. Teddi is younger and a hell of a lot better.

    Reply
  19. beekay says

    April 9, 2018 at 1:46 pm

    I agree. Erika said that when she wanted a doll or a bike, she had to work for it. That sounded like her family didn’t have the money to buy her things.

    Reply

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