After a long week, RuPaul’s Drag Race is my version of a bubble bath. RuPaul, take me away. Take me to a world that sparkles and glows. With men willing to kit up in a dress and heels. That looks like it smells like bubbles and rosewater (even if I know it really smells like a men’s locker room). Bring me episode three…
MINI-CHALLENGE
At this point, RuPaul is mocking us with his product placement, right? This quick drag mini-challenge seems an odd choice in the age of #metoo. RuPaul’s disembodied voice coaches the queens through ridiculous stunts and pantomime. All in the name of the RuPaul Chocolate Bar. Très Jolie, Coco.
Winners: Blair St Claire, Monique Heart and Monét X Change
MAXI-CHALLENGE
We go from a fake ad for a real thing to a fake ad for a fake thing. Progress. This time, it’s a commercial for ridiculous dating apps. Blair St Clair heads Team End of Days, the number one dating site for doomsday preppers. Resident sore winner Monique leads Team Fibster, for the pathological liars of the world. Monét X Change rounds out the bunch with Team Madam Buttrface, for, well, all the butterfaces out there.
Here’s my big question for you: Why is Mayhem Miller always picked next to last when the queens choose teams? She’s talented and polished. The judges adore her, Wouldn’t you want that kind of talent on your team? Monique makes sure we know that Mayhem is the weakest link on Team Fibster. There must be something going on behind scenes.
What I learned from the maxi-challenge rehearsals: Yuhua is the Eureka of her group. Eureka is the Eureka of her group. Their group mates sigh a lot. Kameron needs extra time to do his makeup. You can’t all wear fake noses but you can wear all of the fakes noses. And we’re not the only ones repeating, “Vanjie. Vanjie. Vannnjie!” on loop.
Michelle Visage and Carson Kressley think they’ve been cast to direct the commercials. I guess they didn’t get the memo. This is the Monique Heart show. Her name should be emblazoned on those chairs. She’s doing all the work. Every time she calls, “Action!” Michelle grabs Carson’s arm in glee. Monique is driving this train all the way to the bottom.
The Aquaria/Cracker beef had dirty, unprotected sex and gave birth to the Aquaria/The Vixen squabble. It’s loud and unnecessary. Eventually, Aquaria runs away like she’s Tamra in Bali. That’s her opinion signature move.
Dusty appreciates that Blair’s religious family fully supports her. His experience wasn’t as rosy. He didn’t so much come out as be found out. His parents’ solution: give that boy an exorcism. Unsurprisingly, they weren’t able to pray the gay away. Contrary to what his pastor promised, living in his truth brings Dusty joy. Even if it doesn’t include his family.
RUNWAY
Monique Heart’s assistant directors (Michelle Visage and Carson Kressley) share the judging table with Courtney Love and some mactor guy. Earworm-wise, “Category is, feathers,” might be the new “Miss Vanjie. Miss Vanjie. Miss Vannnjie!”
The runway is fairly predictable. Some hits, some misses. Pleasantly, no one really goes overboard. And then Asia O’Hara shows her fellow contestants how a meme is made. Is it the engulfing, yellow, feathered, floor length poncho? Or the uncomfortable Tweety Bird eyes? Or the Party City Whoville wig? Yes. It is any one of them.
The challenge commercials are a bust. Halfway through the first, I think to myself, “I can’t believe I have to watch three of these.” Not a good sign. They are long. They are boring. Coming on the heels of the Drug Opera (not the good kind of drug, not the good kind of opera), I’m a little concerned about the rest of the season. And get those pesky kids off my lawn.
Top three: Asia O’Hara, Eureka and Blair St Clair
Bottom three: Yuhua, Kameron and Mayhem
Although they worked in groups, the queens are judged individually. Some of the looks get namechecked. Carson calls Blair’s dress Marchesa (snicker) and the judges thinks Asia O’Hara evokes couture Moschino. They’re clearly not taking my opinion into consideration. Yuhua sees Mayhem throw Monique under the bus so she tries it with Monét. Michelle says, “No, Ma’am.” She flags the bus down and pulls Monét to safety. Not today, Satan.
Winner: Asia O’Hara
Bottom two: Yuhua Hamasaki and Kameron Michaels Mayhem Miller (oops, I wrote that name too soon)
LIP-SYNC FOR YOUR LIFE
Yuhua Hamasaki and Mayhem Miller perform Celebrity Skin by Hole. Mayhem is an incredibly successful drag queen who made it on Drag Race after years of trying. Leaving in disgrace is not an option. She fights tooth and nail to stay. While Yuhua bumbles around the stage like a Rock of Love reject (I guess I miss VH1’s early reality experiments), Mayhem holds our attention in her bare hands. Yuhua never had a chance. No amount of splits or death drops can outperform the Mayhem.
Mayhem Miller, shantay you stay. Yuhua Hamasaki, sashay away.
Next week: The queens need 3 looks for a Ball. Monique feels a certain way about being thrown under the bus.
Lady C do you think Ru’s getting bored/tired of the show? It seems like it to me. Love, love, love your reviews.
Let me answer: yes.
Bored & lazy. I hope he’s grooming a replacement (and it’s not someone from the Haus of Edwards).
I think Ru was sick during this taping. You could hear it. He was losing his voice, and his energy even for the mini challenge was quite low.
Yuhua just never got a clue. And if ur whole bit is around a line about how flexible you are so that you’re sexy, then do something that shows how flexible you are! Do a split, open your legs, leg behind head. Smh.
Yeah, Ru’s voice was almost inaudible by the end of the episode.
I think it’s against the rules here to redirect people with offsite links but this might be interesting for people to get some historical perspective on the chocolate bar ad bit. Google “Calvin Klein banned ad 1995”. There is a very creepy video on YouTube for a 1995 ad campaign that this scene is based on. It features young Bijou Phillips and others. There’s also an ad from the same series with Kate Moss. Very disturbing but quite infamous.
Tamara, please delete if I’ve broken the rules.
Of course you have broken the rules. But do the rules apply to you? Not really. 🙂
I definitely knew that I was breaking the rules, lol! But I thought it was worth the risk punishment because that bit of trivia was quite obscure but essential to understand the reference. Otherwise it’s like, “Huh, why the wood paneling and the ladder and the creeping questions?”
Blair St Clair won the episode for me with his ‘tap dancing for money at home’ bit. It really captured the essence of the original commercials… super creepy but funny as hell.
Thanks, Jim. It felt like I was missing something.
I didn’t like this episode. I do not need a two hour block on a freaking THURSDAY NIGHT. It’s nearly impossible to set up the DVR.
The chocolate bar crap was stupid.
The fake apps stuff was also stupid.
THE FEATHERS THOUGH!!! . I was back in for the runway. Eureka was ROBBED. Tweety Bird? Really?
I hate The Vixen and am pissed that everyone in on her side against Aquaria. And must we we accuse her of white privilege? Can’t Vixen just be a cunt? End of story?
Dusty’s story was one of he most heartbreaking things I have ever heard in my life. I just wanted to give him a hug.
Oh wait I was not quite done watching and they are trying to get The Vixen to be less awful. It’s not working. When the tops and bottoms come back Eureka throws Mayhem under the bus for throwing Monique under the bus. Eureka is not playing well with others this week. She needs to stop stirring the pot.
Am I remembering things wrong are wasn’t untucked previously about when they untucked? Why do they talk about seeing the girls back to untuck, when they don’t untuck until after the person voted off leaves? Aren’t they ending Untucked this season where it used to start?
Sometimes I think RuPaul forgets the audience for season 10 is, perhaps, more mainstream than in the beginning. The chocolate bar challenge and last week’s Pharmarusical were seeming to reference ideas that are a little odd. Like, dusty corners of pop culture.
Speaking of Dusty, her talking head tore me AND spouse up. We were both awwwing at the tv. My mom absolutely would have done that to me.
Those app commercials were bad. I felt that was done on purpose.
And…The Vixen. Honestly, you need to be from Da Region to understand her soul. “South Side”, “South Chicago” means black or new immigrant. I love her because when she (or Shea Coulee) speak it is the sound and cadence of my youth. Disturbingly, as she speaks, my own accent falls back to Sha-Ca-Gah and I talk real fast again. The Vixen and her sisters had to fight extra hard to get a seat at the drag table. “Werk” takes on new meaning when you are on public transportation in drag and it is 10 below zero and Lake Effect snow. She behaves exactly like we all have on the Southern side of the city and nearby. She will fight clean, but she gonna fight. The wig thing is fake drama.
Love the show. ASIA oHara won!! Hands down. The Vixen is just a cunt. The whole black vs white was BS.
There wasn’t any ‘black vs white’ in the episode. Vixen was just concerned that she would be perceived as an angry black man for attacking the crying white boy. At least that’s how I understood the confrontation.
That’s how I saw it too. Aquaria starts it, The Vixen responds, and Aquaria runs off crying. Then everyone is looking at Vixen like, why are you making her cry? So it looks like this angry black man is being mean to the little white boy and we need to step in a rescue the little boy from the angry black man.
Ugh.
And even while The Vixen is shutting it down, Aquaria is STILL saying comments trying to get the last word, so, he gets what he gets.
LOOOVE The Vixen! She’s right! Aquaria loves to give it back can’t take it. Why say something offending and then cry when you hear the RESPONSE to your comment?
Then trying to tell Vixen how to feel & respond so the White girl won’t cry is crazy. How about tell Aquaria to not throw the first punch in a fight, and then she won’t get beat down with a response.
It’s driving me nutz trying to place the dark haired dimpled pit crew guy in the skits. Anyone?
Asaf Goren from SYTCD and Worst Cooks and a bunch of other reality shows.
omg first of all, I caught that Rock of Love shade. I ALSO love those early VH1 reality tv shows. I remember the girl who coined the term “hey girl hey!” on Tila Tequila.
Also, Kameron is my favorite for personal reasons. She plays Guild Wars 2, which is the game that I mainly stream on my twitch channel. She’s a video game nerd and I love love love her looks. Why Mayhem is being underestimated, I don’t know. There’s has to be something else (in my Teresa Guidice voice)!
What the heck is a “doo wah doo wah moment”? Aquaria,said it.