Sometimes, especially late in the season, I’m wishing for more time before I have to recap a show. I’m unmotivated. I just want to have a glass of wine and watch something I don’t have to recap. But not tonight. Y’all as I am starting this recap, there are still thirty more minutes until RHONY and it can’t get here fast enough! OMG! It’s time!
Our first event of the season (I AM SO EXCITED!) is at the American Museum of Natural History it’s an event to recognize Bethenny for her incredibly inspiring relief work in Houston and Puerto Rico. Everywhere she went in Puerto Rico she was the first aid the families had received. It’s just incredible what she did there. And when she started posting videos of her work, people started offering planes and cargo ships and everything snowballed. Bethenny invited Tinsley and Ramona because they donated to her cause. Tinsley was the first to donate and gave $10,000 and Ramona gave $3,000. There are seven hundred people at the event. Ramona points out that it is strange that Carole was not invited.
It’s time to address Luann’s divorce. She sits down with Dorinda to talk about it. Dorinda says that Tom seemed to get worse after he was married. Tom was going out at night meeting up with other women and sometimes not coming at home at night. They were divorced before Luann ever changed her name. Luann says that Sonja was spreading all sorts of lies about her in the press saying she was on a dating spree. Carole was the only one who did not reach out to her at all. Dorinda said, “Well, you’re not friends.” And Dorinda is right, they really aren’t. I should point out this conversation is happening over breakfast and they are both eating! We get talking heads of all the women talking about the divorce.
Tinsley and Carole became fast friends over the summer. They even traveled to Spain together for a week with Scott and Adam. These two being friends makes sense. Carole drops in to Tinsley’s hotel/apartment for some charcuterie and wine to get caught up. Tinsley gives her version of her breakup with Scott. She says the distance was a factor. But the word on the street is that she was super clingy and didn’t give him any space to breathe and went with him to his guys nights out. She is in love with Scott and thinks they will get back together. Carole and Adam are sort of broken up. She says he stops by almost every morning. They still have sex. But they are not together.
Ramona tells us that Sonja blew her off all summer with no explanation. So when they meet up in the costume shop to get ready for Dorinda’s Halloween party, they haven’t seen each other since probably the reunion. Sonja claims that she traveled a lot and she did but she was also in the Hamptons when Ramona was there and snubbed her. Sonja has a whole nuther face in her talking head. I really didn’t know who it was until I listened to what she was saying. It looks like brow blading, a nose job, microdermabrasion, a neck lift, a chin line lift, honestly, it looks like literally every facial procedure there is has been done to her. She doesn’t have the new nose and stuff in the regular episode scenes.
How did Carole go from never exercising to training for a marathon?
Bethenny’s driver Kenny comes in with Biggie and Smalls. They talk about Cookie dying. This seems like a good place to fast forward a bit.
Dorinda is having a Halloween party. She’s Lady Gaga, Carole is Amelia Earhart. Carole is being a nasty bitch about Luann. Tinsely is Madonna. Sonja and Rocco come as Lucy and Ricky. Sonja hangs with Rocco instead of the girls because Rocco has to leave and go to work. Ramona is Madonna. Luann is Diana Ross with a three-foot tall afro and a rhinestone covered microphone. Carole immediately starts her insults about Luann, but in a talking head. She apparently has a problem with Luann dressed as a black woman. She’d not exactly in black face but her makeup is darker than usual. I just don’t see the point in taking issue with this. Luann loves Diana Ross so that is who she chose. Just let people live, Carole. I was just saying I could take Carole or leave her, but I’m already ready to leave her.
Dorinda is already wasted and she is super pissed that Sonja hasn’t greeted her yet. She’s the hostess! She should be greeted immediately! She’s all slurry and mad and saying Sonja can just go fuck herself. She kisses Rocco goodbye and then joins the gang. But she is walking into a minefield. Not only is Dorinda down her throat, but so is Luann. Luann has a much better reason. Once again, Sonja was running to Page Six with fake stories about her dating.
Thankfully, Barbie and arrived and gives Sonja and excuse to get out of the conversation. She wanted to be Barbie but two drag queens helped her with her look and so she’s kind of drag queen Barbie. She also didn’t follow the invitation’s guidelines for her costume. It’s supposed to be any person living or dead. Not a doll.
Then we get a montage of Dorinda being progressively too drunk to speak. She tells Carol,”After the marathon can you stay in my apartment. You’ll mellow out I’ll make a roast chicken. I’ll get 2 bottles 4 bottles of great wine and we’ll sit there and close the door and we’ll tell our deepest darkest secrets and then go to sleep in my bed. Watch Ghost Hunters” John is there and he scoops her up and gets her home.
Luann is also drunk. And she tells Carole she was the only one who didn’t reach out to her. Carole says she didn’t reach out to her when she and Adam broke up. She also didn’t jump in with everyone else bringing her negative information on Tom. They are just not that close. Makes sense to me.
Bethenny is asked about the investment property she bought in the Hamptons. Ramona keeps asking her where it is, she says it’s on the highway. Ramona says she would never buy a house on the highway. Bethenny says she just can’t help herself from being unkind. Ramona says they were talking about real estate and she knows real estate in the Hamptons. Bethenny says she doesn’t know real estate she owns an apartment and a house in the Hamptons. Bethenny owns five properties at the moment. Bethenny says “When you start being successful at something call me back.” Bethenny fire shots for a full two minutes or more. She screams at Ramona to listen to her. She tells Ramona that she thinks she know about real estate because she lives in a home. She says no one believes the bullshit she spews after she does something stupid. Bethenny is really taking a very small comment too far. What is really going on with Ramona and Bethenny?
So, what did you think?