In preparation for tonight’s RuPaul’s Drag Race, I rewatched the premiere. I think I’ve finally pinpointed why I like Vanessa Vanjie so much: she belongs on the 80’s Ballroom scene. This might be a theme tonight. The episode opens with drama worthy of Paris Is Burning. Aquaria is challenged to tell Miz Cracker what she said about her on last week’s Untucked. On the spot, Aquaria weasels. She gives a watered down version of events and hopes it dies. But this season we’re playing by old school Drag Race rules. The Vixen (entrance quote: I’m just here to fight) interrupts with the truth. Aquaria refuses to put her money where her mouth is. She literally runs away at the first hint of conflict. Miz Cracker gloats. In other words, everyone shows their ass.
MINI-CHALLENGE
Andy Cohen walks into the workroom and my first thought is, ew. Then I realize he’s dressed as a cowboy. This is going to be a long 5 minutes. Andy’s here to judge Hay Girl Hay, a quick-drag dancing game. With a country music theme. The Vixen dresses as Madonna. I guess she’s country. As much as Andy is. The judges aren’t as judgemental as I am. Asia O’Hara and The Vixen win. Eh. Eureka should have gotten it for being the only queen to headbang without losing her wig.
MAXI-CHALLENGE
RuPaul might be jumping the shark this week. The maxi-challenge, PharmaRusical, is a musical parody of pharmaceutical ads. I’m confused (with dry mouth and fatigue). The mini-challenge winners pick teams. Team Asia is Aquaria, Monique Heart, Dusty Ray Bottoms, Yuhua, Kalorie, and Mayhem. Team The Vixen is Kameron, Miz Cracker, Monét X Change and Blair St Clair. Eureka doesn’t get picked so she gets to choose. To Asia’s dismay, she joins her team. Eureka can be hard to work with and Asia doesn’t handle it well. She tries to put Baby in a corner. Uh oh.
For the first time in Drag Race herstory (gasp) Alyssa Edwards is the choreographer. She likes Team Asia. They’re the dance girls. They show up to choreo with their own steps. Team The Vixen are the theatre geeks. They work on costumes while the others sweat. Alyssa reads them to filth for being unprepared even though, historically, these numbers are solely choreographed by the choreographer. It’s right there in the name.
Sidenote: boy Aquaria is an obnoxious, snotty little twit. I think I like him.
This is RuPaul’s Drag Race so there are emotions. So many emotions. Miz Cracker is distracted by the Aquaria kerfuffle. If she wins, she wants everyone to know it’s on her own merits. Eureka is haunted by ghosts of ACLs past. Her doubts manifest as heaving sobs while her team comforts her. PTSD is real, y’all. Kalorie shares her story of being an obese child. She wasn’t bullied for being gay. It was for her size and it. was. merciless. Watching Jujubee on Season 2 was her It Gets Better moment. Which is one of the reasons programming like this is so important.
RUNWAY
Guest judge Padma Lakshmi is gay royalty for starring in Mariah Carey’s Glitter. She and Halsey join Michelle Visage and Ross Matthews at the judging table. They experience PharmaRusical live. Maybe they can explain it to me. I mean, I get it. I just don’t get why. The songs are good. The queens are good. But, it’s a musical about punny prescription drugs. Why?
The runway category is Very Best Drag. Don’t save it for the end, ladies! Some of the looks are polished. Others have fringe. We get to see Aquaria’s nipples. The Vixen reworks Aja’s Princess Disastah look even better than Aja did. Miz Cracker wins the hair game with her golden rectangle. Team The Vixen takes the top spot. Their leader wins the challenge. Everyone else is up for elimination.
Top bottom queens: Asia, Yuhua, Dusty Ray Bottoms, and Aquaria
Bottom bottom queens: Monique Heart, Kalorie and Eureka
Eureka gets special recognition for losing her Brittany’s Spark.
Bottom bottom bottom queens: Kalorie and Eureka
LIP-SYNC FOR YOUR LIFE
Eureka and Kalorie Karbdashian perform Best Of My Love by The Emotions, a dancefloor classic. Kalorie works the front of the stage, vying for the judges attention. But this is Eureka’s night. She knows how it feels to leave. She Scarlett O’Hara’s all over that stage. It a thing of beauty. As God is her witness, she will never go home early again. They have to pull the camera off of her for Kalorie to get any attention. Mama Ru gives a Mona Lisa smile. She’s proud of her Season 9 baby.
Eureka, shantay you stay. Kalorie Karbdashian, sashay away.
Next week: The queens create and star in commercials for new drag-themed dating apps; Courtney Love guest judges.
My LORD at the crying. So much crying.
I am not a fan of Asia anymore. I am falling in love with snarky Aquaria. But that nose ring stuff was a no for me, dawg.
I foolishly worried that Eureka would go home. She did that thing! How the hell did she not learn the words to the competition number????
That Eureka thing was scary but it sure brought out an amazing lip-sync!
Wow, it’s so echo-y in here right now. Hello-oo-oo!
It’s echo-y everywhere really. It’s Easter and people are doing stuff with the families. And also the jockey ads are driving me nuts.
so. much. crying.
1st off, Paris Is Burning is one of my favorite documentaries. I need to show my bf. I think Aquaria is not cut out for the drama like she thinks she is.
I literally can’t stomach the idea of Andy being on this show. I hope this is his only appearance. I loved Alyssa Edwards though. She’s literally my top 5. She knows how to read a girl. And just when I think the cameos couldn’t get better, we get Padma!!! Sans Andy, this episode featured some great guest appearances.
Thank you for the recap. <3 <3
I feel like Andy only agreed to have RuPaul on WWHL if he could be on Drag Race. He’s POS. Considering how much he is a Drag fan…. it seems awful of him. I was loling about him being in a country outfit though. I do not want to see him on this show ever again.
That’s was actually upsetting and I want it burned out of my brain.
Oh and I am shocked about how attached I am to some of these queens. Why am I so traumatized about the early boots. I usually don’t care. I am going through some things, so is it just me that feels this way?
I’m unusually attached too. It’s a pretty good cast. Even the filler girls aren’t filler. Vanjie. Vanjie. Vannnnjie!
This season reminds me of a few years ago so I’m really feeling these queens. Miz Cracker is standing out but I agree, very strong competito.
I just can’t get into this season of Rupaul’s Drag Race. I think it’s due to the fact that it came on so soon after All Stars 3. But as a member in good standing of the homo community I feel I owe it to my people to watch. There aren’t any queens that I am crazy about but I have a soft spot for Eureka. I also like Ms Cracka. Great review Lady C.
You can say it with the ER.
I thought the wrong team won this week. I was a little shocked when the winning team was announced cause I thought the other team was far better.
Me too.
Ok- thank you for fabulous recap as always. I don’t always remember to catch this show but fortunately have you to always catch me up. Totally agree re: Vanessa and have just downloaded Paris is Burning one of my favorite documentaries of all time. This season is a bit weird kind of like Project Rumway All Stars right now, it has all the right ingredients but somehow just isn’t coming together….
I mean I love the cast…..
I actually read your recap before watching. I was glad to know Eureka won the lip sync ahead of time and did not have to worry for her.
I agree there are not filler queens and there are not any I dislike, but there is an off vibe. I tend to think it is VH1 interference.
The VIXEN is a smart cookie. She did good of picking not so strong opinionated queens for her team. She basically set the other team up for self-destruction. So far I’m loving this season. I hate for a queen to go home the next week after winning the previous week’s lip-sync.
Bring back ms Vannnnggiiiiieee!
I want someone to find some long formal gloves and then at the appropriate time, smack The Vixen across the face with them. Is that so wrong?
Thoughts so far:
– Miss Vaaaaanjie has been stuck in my head since that bitches elimination. Well played, Vanessa.
– Who knew Andy Cohen was so tiny? He looked like he’d bought that outfit from the kids section of the fancy dress store. ?
– Untucked is killing me this year. I don’t want anyone to leave! ? Kalorie’s elimination was especially heartbreaking, come thru big girl! ?
– When is Linda Evangelista going to be a judge?! I want to hear her tell someone “you’re perfect, you’re beautiful…”
I found “Paris is Burning” on youtube, so I’m watching it now. I have recorded S10 of RPDR and “Untucked” but haven’t started watching yet. I’m still upset about how “All Stars” played out. I’ll get over it eventually and will watch it then. I just didn’t want to help the ratings after what I consider a crappy way to end a season.
Oh well, back to PIB, hopefully it will be entertaining.
This is a good season though! You’re missing it! Don’t wait too long!
I really liked Miss Vanjie, Miss Vaaanjie, Miss Vaaanjie and think the judges got it wrong. But Kalorie did seem out if her league. The cast seems too crowded right now and I’m having a hard time rooting for anyone. I thought I would like Eureka, but all the crying and eye wiping, ugh…girl, just stop. I like Miss Cracker, she is hilarious. I hope some of the cream starts rising to the top, cause right now, it’s blase.
Alyssa is a great choreographer! Hope to see more numbers from her.