Welcome back to Project Runway All Stars, the season that never seems to end. Is it wrong to hope there’s a double elimination this week so we can all just get this over with? On paper this season looked good. Better challenges (if not better time frames), sponsors that were on the higher end, and decent designers. So why does it feel so low rent? And LONG. I’m also sad that there are no women left standing. I love Stanley, but I feel Helen was robbed. We are left with the sister wives, Stanley and Edmund. I predict Edmond, rock and roll stupid ass challenge notwithstanding, isn’t long for this world. I wonder who will join him on the way out? Let’s see if I’m right.
We get a recap of last week and I’m pissed all over again. Alyssa comes out wearing the dress I wore in my Kindergarten class picture in 1976. She asks the remaining five how their time on Project Runway has differed from their time on Project Runway All Stars. Anthony sums it up very eloquently by saying Project Runway is where you discover who you are as a designer and Project Runway All Stars is where you show who you are as a designer. Well said, sir. Everyone applauds this statement and Alyssa is impressed. I always wonder what Heidi truly thinks of Alyssa.
Nina Garcia strolls out on stage and the designers are rightfully nervous. Nina Garcia is the real deal. She is the Latina Anna Wintour who can make a designer cry with one raised eyebrow. She is also the new Editor in Chief at Elle. She never seems to age. Alyssa looks like a toddler standing next to her. Nina tells the designers that they will be working with a new trend in fashion: video games. Nina starts laughing as she can’t believe she has to announce this stupidity. Alyssa says they are teaming up with one of the most successful apps of all time. Candy Crush. If any of you are reading this who I am friends with on Facebook, PLEASE STOP INVITING ME TO PLAY THIS. Fabio apparently loves this game and plays it all the time.
A cool looking woman walks out and explains the game. The designers have to create a resort wear look inspired by one of the lands within the game. I’m going to Casa de Campo in the Dominican Republic tomorrow. Nothing in my bag will be inspired by a video game. They have to play one level and the designer with the highest score will get to pick which land in the game they want to inspire their design. I’m guessing Fabio is going to take this. They have one day and $200. The winner will get to collaborate on a design with the company who designs Candy Crush.
The designers head to the workroom where there are jars of candy and tablets. I would just be stuffing my face with Swedish Fish while letting Fabio win. Holy crap, Ken is the dark horse to win. He takes Brulée Bay (beach resort wear). Fabio takes Taffy Tropics (tropical resort wear), Stanley picks Lemonade Lake (lakeside resort wear) and Anthony takes Sticky Savannah (safari resort wear). This leaves Edmond with Marshmallow Mountain resort wear (whatever the hell that is). I would have taken the safari theme and channeled YSL, but that’s just me. Apparently Anthony is thinking the same thing. He’s doing a safari romper. Edmond is doing a scuba knit ski suit. Ken’s woman is hosting party in the Hamptons so she is going to be wearing cigarette pants and a flowy sleeveless top. Stanley is designing for a city girl who escapes to her lake house. He’s doing a dress with pants. Fabio is doing a beachy evening jumpsuit. Ken tells Fabio he’s also making a wide leg jumpsuit…huh? Now everyone is realizing they are doing something similar. The groupthink is real people. Fabio is re-thinking his color-blocking and just going to do one color on each side.
Anne struts in and no one looks too excited. Anne tells the designers that she has worked with Nina for a long time and knows what she likes and more importantly what she doesn’t like. Ken’s face is everything. It screams BITCH, PLEASE. She tells Edmond he doesn’t have to design an actual piece of athletic wear and could do something apres-ski. Stanley points out that Edmond has no idea what she is talking about. When Stanley tells her he’s doing a dress with a pant underneath her eyebrows disappear into her hairline. She reminds him that at resorts things should feel easy. I hear that. I’m taking two Gucci jersey dresses that don’t wrinkle and I can throw on over anything to dress up or down. She thinks he’s trying to do too much.
Anne doesn’t understand where the hell Anthony’s woman is going as he can’t say it correctly. She loves his fabric and tells him she has never found the perfect safari jacket. He says in his neighborhood Safari is a stripper. That made me spit out my wine. He writes it down so he remembers what to say. She reminds Ken that Nina loves tailoring and tells him that he has done wonderful things with yellow. She wishes him luck. She tells Fabio that his look seems heavy and she’s not sure about the pants. He tells her the nights are cool in Latin America. She reminds him Nina is from Columbia and she will certainly have thoughts on this. Fabio doesn’t give a shit. The pants stay. She tells all of the designers that a lot of their designs are looking fussy and they need to do something easy yet also stands out.
Anthony has been shrieking more than usual. Edmond is all in his head and now seems uncertain. Anthony says Helen Keller can see he is struggling. The models come in and there is A LOT of fabric on Fabio’s look. Edmond’s model looks like she’s at a costume fitting for Matrix 4. Or she’s going to fight crime with ninjas. Stanley is loving his pants. I am too. Ken is also happy with how things are going. He is going to tailor the hell out of this look. Fabio is now freaking out because he loves Stanley’s look and he worries that because his is so similar it will not be able to compete.
Edmond is putting fake colored fur on his neoprene ski suit? It’s a miracle this man has lasted as long as he has. Fabio loves his design which worries him? I want the blue and white shoes Ken is using. I love the contrast. Ken and Anthony’s looks are simple yet elegant. Everyone else should be worried. And they are.
Alyssa is wearing a crochet dress from Ramona Singer’s Turtle Time resort collection. Nina is THE guest judge. Kelly Osbourne is also there resplendent in lavender. Guess PR Junior is coming down the pike. She notes the lack of estrogen.
Ok, I either want Stanley’s dress OR Stanley’s pants. What I don’t want is them both together. I love the back of the dress. Oh Edmond. It was nice knowing you because this neoprene onesie with crotch issues is about to send you home. Ken’s look is tailored, effortless, and the color is INSANE on his model’s skin. I love this. I would go to any party this woman hosted and try to be her best friend. Anthony also hit the nail on the head. This is a modern take on a safari onesie (I STILL search vintage shops in hopes I will stumble on a YSL safari dress so I can channel Veruschka… google the image, it’s iconic). Fabio is screwed. This looks like a belted ill fitting sleeveless bathrobe with pyjama pants. Nina will eviscerate him. TOO MUCH FABRIC. Ken and Anthony in the top with Ken for the win, Fabio and Edmond to go.
Georgina loves Ken’s look and loves the take on a sarong as a jumpsuit. Nina thinks the look is juicy in a good way and tells him he nailed it. Her only concern is the fabric seems a little heavy. (Fabio is fucked). Isaac loves it and thinks the color is great but thinks the fabric moves away from beach resort. Kelly also loves it but wishes the sarong was removable. She thinks it is exquisite and wants to be the model. Alyssa loves that he didn’t go beachy hippy-dippy. Her only issue is the way the crease of the pant lines up with the seam, but otherwise she thinks he did a beautiful job.
Georgina asks Edmond if her has ever been skiing. The answer is obviously no. Isaac’s favorite thing in the world is a snow bunny. He is okay with the fact that Edmund didn’t fit the look exactly to the body and calls it chic (not sure that was intentional Isaac). But he doesn’t like the pop of color Edmond selected and thinks it looks like an afterthought. Nina thinks he was tripped up by getting the last choice and instead of making the best of it, made a safe version. She wished she had seen more. Kelly saw a woman who had never been skiing and accidently bought a wetsuit. She loves that it’s black, but because of the candy crush challenge is missing the color. Alyssa liked it and said during the winter she skis all the time and would love to drink a hot toddy in this but that the crotch looks like the model is packing a penis. What on earth does Alyssa ski in?
Georgina loves the way Stanley used his silk fabric. The proportion of the pants is throwing her. Isaac thinks there is something very fresh about it, but he’s not sure about the print. He thinks it looks like it would be part of a very interesting collection. Kelly loves the sleeves and the fact that she’s never seen something like this on Project Runway but wishes the dress might have been a blouse. Nina loves that he had the boldness to try volume but that there is too much going on. Alyssa says it’s her favorite look of his all season and even Stanley says: really?
Alyssa tells Fabio she loves herself a onesie. When the model turned around her mouth started watering. I would love to know what Nina is thinking right now. Georgina enjoys his color story and she’s happy he’s playing with proportion. She notes that they all did similar looks and in doing so, pitted themselves against each other. She also notes how hard it is to choose amongst them. Isaac feels as though the model is a prisoner of the fabric and it’s too heavy. Nina loves the exuberance of the color but thinks the model looks front heavy. Kelly loves it but also thinks it looks heavy. Because she sweats. A lot.
Isaac loves what Anthony did and thinks the eyelet is almost naughty. Nina wonders how the model is going to get in and out of the garment and wishes he had continued the side element in the back. Nina says she looks like a nurse with a sports bra. Uh-oh. Kelly wonders where the color is but before Anthony can finish defending himself, she tells him it’s brave and genius to NOT use color. Wait, isn’t color what she was missing in Edmond’s look? Georgina’s thinks it’s too contemporary instead of inspirational. Alyssa likes it but thinks it looks a little bit like an apron. Wow. I thought they were going to love that. Guess I was wrong.
Other than Ken and Stanley moving forward who knows what is about to go down? I’m pretty confident Edmond is headed home. Wait, FOUR people are going through next week and going to Washington DC?? WTF? I guess we aren’t getting a double elimination. Fabio is in the top? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?? Ken wins at least. This means we have ANOTHER episode before the beginning of the end. Edmond goes home and Anthony squeals. That was a bit rude. And the train keeps a rolling…apparently to DC.
Edmond gives a lovely and classy goodbye and we see a preview of next week’s episode. Wait, the last four designers are designing a six piece collection? So it IS the final four? I’m confused. And tired. I look forward to throwing on a bathing suit and very forgiving jersey dress for the next few days. I will be ready to tackle this when I return, hopefully refreshed. Happy weekend everyone!