Dorit and Jerry were on WWHL last night and She’s on Wendy Williams with him this morning so I’m just gonna get this all over with at once. Because, Dorit. Wow WWHL was ten programs down the list and I was worried for a moment that my DVR had malfunctioned again. And by worried I meant hopeful. Wasn’t she just on this show?
It’s been exactly three weeks since she was on before. This is not a good sign, y’all. Andy had told Jerry what a great job he is doing on Wendy’s show twice in the first two minutes. He says if he ever gets sick he is never going to have Jerry host his show because he will replace him in a second. This is shade y’all. Andy and Wendy have never made up from this situation that involved Bethenny Frankel. Then Andy calls Wendy “the queen of all media.”
Oh Andy is going to start with the twitter war between Dorit and Camille! It’s like he actually knows what is going on! I kept meaning to post about this but things have been so hectic lately there are literally so many things to post about! Oh wait. he doesn’t know what he is talking about. He is starting at the end. But this is the juiciest part. Camille said that Dorit is actually getting a GOOD edit all things considered. Camille says there have been many things that Dorit has said that have been edited out. At a project Angel Food event even Kyle was concerned about her.
So what does Dorit do? She amps up her stupid fake accent and pretends like nothing ever happened. She says she and Camille love each other and that they were having a love fest on Instagram last night. I seriously doubt that. Apparently, Dorit told Camille in a comment that she and her daughter look like sisters and Camille said thanks. #Lovefest
Oh Jerry. He tells Dorit she may possibly be the most beautiful housewife of all the housewives. He likes her style. Remember when we used to like Jerry? Like five minutes ago? He says sometimes she acts a little extra. Then he acknowledges PK and we have shot of him in the audience. GACK! I am not awake enough for this!
Thank GOD the audience is 92% on Teddi’s side. Jerry also has to admit he’s on Teddi’s side.
Jerry has to pick a side on a variety of housewives conflicts and he gets all the answers right and doesn’t support Teddi’s side in any of them. We officially like Jerry again.
Andy reads a string of questions to Dorit about what a hypocritical pot stirrer she is and she continues to deflect and blame the other person. When she calls Teddi a pot stirrer, the look on Jerry’s face is hilarious. Andy actually asks her if she isn’t doing the exact same thing she is accusing Teddi of. Then she just says yes it is.
Teddi tweets in to tell Jerry she prefers Lil Cougs over the affectionate nickname Jerry was using for her early which I have already forgotten. She tells Dorit she looks pretty. This is clearly the way to tame the beast which is why Jerry and Teddi are both doing it.
After the break, Dorit realized she admitted to being a pot stirrer at the end of the last segment and so she wants to clarify that Teddi was bringing up something from three months ago. Oh well that never happens on housewives. Three whole months of filming? Stone the bitch. How long have we been talking about #PantyGate again?
Someone asks about LVP saying she was only friends with her to do obligations to PK. Again, Dorit denies that is what LVP even meant even though she said it more than once.
Jerry who loves Erika says that this is the second time we have seen a sudden fit of anger from Erika and it’s kind of scary.
OMG NO! Teddi calls Dorit to apologize next week. FOR WHAT? WHY TEDDI WHY? I hope you see the smug look on this bitches faces as she is on the phone with you. UGH. Dorit doesn’t even accept the apology and says that Teddi is trying to sully her reputation (ROFLMAO) by stirring up problems. Then she does a nasty talking head about Teddi.
Dorit tells a caller, “She’s love to bury the hatchet with Teddi but she can’t get it out of her back.”
I find it odd that the people who don’t like Teddi say that they don’t like her because she’s boring and doesn’t bring anything to the show. So why does Dorit make her sound like an evil villain? That is only helpful to keeping Teddi around.
And now for the Wendy Williams Show….
Jerry starts off his hot topics talking about being on WWHL last night. While he was on there, he told Andy that he wanted Marlo Hampton to get a peach. I didn’t mention that because I didn’t want to go through another five minutes of hating him. Then he does a mini RHOBH recap where he talks about Erika Jayne and her fits of anger. Then he announces that Erika Jayne will be on next Tuesday with Wendy. There is a “See you next Tuesday” joke in there somewhere.
Dorit says she met LVP briefly before they started filming. This is the true story. Previously she’s pretended she and LVP were friends before the show. Jerry shouts out to PK in the audience. Jerry asks if the housewives was something she wanted to do or if someone influenced her. She says it was PK’s idea. She didn’t want to do it at first. I’m not sure I believe this. Jerry says she is great on the show and she stirs it up a lot.
Dorit says it hurts that people see her as the villain. She says the show sort of ebbs and flows and certain things will change. She says she is not going to change. Then she says, “Have I said stupid shit? Absolutely!” Um, hello live daytime show! Congrats Dorit on saying stupid shit while admitting you are saying stupid shit. That’s quite a feat.
Then we move on to Dorit talking about Teddi. I’m not sure Dorit really knows what the word ‘accountability’ means. She seems to be arguing against holding oneself accountable for one’s actions. That is literally the foundation of being an adult. It’s basically how you know when you have grown up. You hold yourself accountable for your actions and you hold those around you accountable for theirs. Dorit says, “constant accountability gets a bit nagging and oh my God you want to shoot yourself.”
She says Teddi gets herself into a little bit of trouble and that she likes to point the finger. Really? That would be you, Dorit and Erika. She says Teddi doesn’t really realize that she is igniting a lot of fires. This conversation is making my head explode because SHE IS LITERALLY DESCRIBING HERSELF. She says she is going to get a little bit of hot water. Oh I hope all of this projection is actually describing Dorit’s future as well.
Jerry tries to find a way to convey to Dorit and she’s projecting. He stutters a lot and finally comes up with that it looks like she is picking on the freshman.
Then he brings up that Dorit called Camille sad and pathetic on Twitter. She seems pissed that the audience is booing her and shoots Jerry a look. Jerry asks her what went down. I may have to type this entire bullshit word for word.
“Well firstly, I-I had said it was her behavior. Now I don’t really pay much attention to Twitter and the negativity and she caught me in a moment and to be truthful, I’d had an argument with my husband that day, so my head was in a totally different space and she was poking an prodding a bit and it was just like you know what? I don’t need this. This is unnecessary so I clapped back. But Camille and I actually, we’re fine! We’re good!”
Somebody needs to learn some accountability. She started it. I don’t even do Twitter. It’s negative. It’s my husband’s fault. She was bothering me. My God woman.
Jerry says that Brandi Glanville wants to come back to RHOBH. She’s never really put it that directly. He asks her opinion on that. Dorit does that question. She doesn’t know her and she has only heard stories. I have been hearing this rumor for weeks and according to my best source there is no way she will ever be full-time again. It is possible she will make an appearance here or there, but she won’t ever be a housewife again. I suppose that could change if she came back here and there and ratings were good for her shows, but it doesn’t seem likely.
Jerry says he thinks it would be great TV to have Dorit and Brandi on the show together. Dorit asks why he thinks that. It was clear Jerry thinks it would be full of cat fights.
Then she talked about her swim suit lines. And it mercifully ends. My God I need a drink. Is it time yet? I haven’t even had coffee yet. I suppose I should start there.