We start with the girls piling in the van to move to the hotel as if they had no idea that Porsha was sent home. Hell, I knew she was sent home hours after it happened and I’m six or seven time zones away! Enough with this fake surprise and the stupid storyline that it was her idea to go home.
They finally check into the hotel and it’s 11 pm and they are having pajama party where they decide to dress Sheree up and take pictures of her for her prison BAE. I’m so bored. I need my Kenya. Kandi asks Nene a simple question about Tyrone and she starts going off denying that she has never ever ever dated Tyrone and she’s a happily married woman. Well that was odd.
I need these dumb bitches to go to bed and go to sleep so they can go out into Barcelona tomorrow. I am not tuning in to watch grown women having pajama parties and playing dress up. But no. While Marlo is hookering up Sheree, Eva and Cynthia have some sort of modeling competition. Oh please let me fast forward this stupidity. We can make Sheree look like an idiot in Atlanta. Take off the Elvira from Jersey costume and go to bed.
The next morning, everyone except Kandi is hungover. What is wrong with these people? Be hungover at the street food cart. Not in the damn hotel room. Kandi asks Sheree why Nene was so touchy about being asked about Tyrone. This episode is halfway over and I am still waiting for it to start. Anyway, Sheree says that Nene had a thing for Tyrone back in the day. Tyrone says he has something on Nene. Sheree recaps the entire competition from eleventy billion seasons ago. This is a very long conversation from 2011! I am so disappointed in this trip. On the bright side, Eva sure is pretty. I wish she could get Kenya’s peach. I’d much prefer she get Sheree’s or Porsha’s peach but that is not going to happen.
Finally they are going out but the protests are in full swing. At the time Catalonia was voting to secede from Spain and the Spanish government was trying to stop all the protests in favor of secession. We get fifteen seconds of b-roll and then go eat some ham. I love me some ham but this is aged ham. Apparently, it is kind of funky. Nene has a fit about eating it. Sheree says in a talking head, “Come on Nene, don’t act like you ain’t sucked on or ate no old meat before, girl. Hey Gregg!” And right there Sheree earned the buck fifty she gets paid for this show.
Sheree, Kandi and Shamea did out of the Jambon Experience to go shopping. Finally the go to La Rambla. I hope no one told them there was a huge terrorist attack there a month before they arrived. La Rambla is a very crowded tourist section full of restaurants and shops. A they do talk about some scary moments in Barcelona, so maybe they do know. At the very least they know about the protests.
At the pig place, Nene goes off on Eva for asking her about the Tyrone thing again. All she said was she didn’t realize that she and Sheree didn’t talk for four years after the Tyrone blow up. She says that she has no desire to discuss anything that happened seven years ago. She says it is rude for Eva to bring it up.
And just like that they are back in the hotel. To be fair there was a day the hotel tourists they needed to stay away from lots of areas where the protests are happening. Nene, Cynthia and Marlo have breakfast together and talk about Sheree. Nene says Sheree is not riding with anyone but Sheree. She says Sheree knew about the roach video long before Barcelona and didn’t bother to tell her about it until it was sent to everyone else.
Because of the protests, the ladies get the hell out of dodge and take a bus ride an hour and a half out of town. Cynthia wants everyone to return to love and light and cleanse their spirit on the way to the bus. Cynthia asks if anyone has a poem or song to share. Kandi shares parts of her new song about how she “can’t fuck with the people who plot on me…” That song is not appropriate for this bus ride to spiritual rebirth.
We arrive a Costa Brava a beautiful beach where they light candles and says positive things about whoever’s name is on the bottom of the candle. Kandi has Sheree she says she can’t wait to see her become even more of the powerful woman she already is. Marlo has Kandi who she doesn’t know from Adam other than when she films for the show. She says that Kandi may stand short but there is nothing short about her at all. Oh Lord. Eva has Shamea, they are not fans, Eva says they got off on the wrong foot and calls her whack, sad, and childish she says she didn’t intend to have this conversation but she apologizes for anything she said that hurt her and says hopefully they can come to a good place. They hug it out. Sheree has Marlo. She says she is passionate and has a great heart and she wishes her much sucesss. Shamea has Eva and says she chooses to use the letters in her name to say… educated, versitile admiration. They hug again. Nene got Porsha and says something like she hopes she is in a good place. Cynthia sucks up to Nene.
So they drove three hours there and back to stand around on an empty beach doing stupid shit.
Next week: We return to Atlanta where Kim and Nene go at it and Kenya finally returns to the show.