Last week, lolling on the beach took precedence over RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars but you’ll be happy to know I’m once again firmly tethered to my radiator and ready to recap. And just in time for the Ru-demption episode. The top five are about to face some very angry sisters. It’s hard enough to eliminate a competitor. But when they come back, it’s downright awkward.
The queens get the opportunity to be in RuPaul’s new girl group, Kitty Girls. They have to create a unique look and write a solo verse. No biggie. Before Ru sets them free on the workroom, he shares that he’s opening the audition to a few more girls. No one is pleased. The eliminated queens (Morgan McMichaels, Aja, Thorgy Thor, Milk and Chi Chi DeVayne) make their triumphant return. And because RuPaul is a saucy minx, he has them form a competing group to go head to head with the Originals. One All Star will be cut. One eliminee will take her place. (Insert Eureka O’Hara’s Season 9 face crack gif).
In season 2, the returning eliminees’ entrance was made even more dramatic by Phi Phi O’Hara’s Alyssa Edwards tirade. Hoping to build on this momentum, production has encouraged each returnee to challenge their eliminator. First, Shangela confronts Thorgy about The Note. Thorgy turns around and accuses Trixie Mattel of using her private correspondence to cause trouble. Shangela gets double the camera time and double the sympathy for one nothingburger. Drag Race’s Margaery Tyrell strikes again. Then, Morgan calls BenDeLaCreme a hypocrite. Who cares? Morgan is being extra to get attention. Hey. it worked for Shangela. Without skipping a beat, Aja jumps in for her turn in the spotlight. Wah! Bebe didn’t give me credit for helping her sew. Ugh. Milk actually believes the lines the producers spoon feed her but you can’t deny she’s milking it for all it’s worth (pardon the Dad joke). Kennedy and Milk have a cry-off. And the Emmy goes to… Chi Chi doesn’t say a word. She knows why she went home and doesn’t need anyone pointing it out. Too bad the other girls didn’t do the same. Producer-driven drama is never as good as the organic stuff.
Finally, the queens are allowed to work on the challenge. First, they come up with their
Spice Girl Kitty Girl personalities. Then they record their verses with Adam Lambert. Aja and Morgan (with the help of a Tatianna reference) elevate the Bizarro Kitty Girls while Bebe’s bizarre Eartha Kitt endangers the Originals. It doesn’t help that Trixie practically starts a fist fight with Adam Lambert. Or that DeLa can’t focus because she’s totally rattled by Morgan’s “attack.”
As the queens paint, Shangela stirs the pot. She pushes Ben to hash things out with Morgan. Despite her best intentions, they make up. Sorry, Shangy. No Red Wedding for you. Even Kennedy and Milk mend their rift. Cue the soft music. It’s the RuPaul After School Special.
Michelle Visage and Carson Kressley are joined by guest judges Adam Lambert and Baby Spice, Emma Bunton.
The Bizarro Kitty Girls are Cajun Kitty (Chi Chi), Bimbo Kitty (Morgan), Milky Kitty (Milk), Lil’ Banjee (Aja) and Cardio Kitty (Thorgy). Milk did better than expected but Aja stole the show. The Original Kitty Girls are I.Q Kitty (Trixie), Diva Kitty (Kennedy), Goth Kitty (BenDeLaCreme), Sparkle Kitty (Shangela), and Jungle Kitty (Bebe). Bebe should go home. She probably won’t but she should.
Winning Team: Original Kitty Girls
This week, the Lip-Sync For Your Legacy winner will choose which All Star is eliminated and which eliminee returns. Big stakes. Emma Bunton loves Trixie. The feeling is mutual. She gets really good critiques until Adam brings up her attitude at the recording session. Trixie is shocked. I can relate. Sometimes I think I’m being funny but it comes off rude. The judges find Kennedy underwhelming. Everyone loves BenDeLaCreme. She even tattles on Morgan in a classy manner. I don’t get what the judges see in Shangela. Or Bebe. Adam thinks her performance is weird in a good way. I disagree but my vote doesn’t count for much.
Top Two: BenDeLaCreme and Bebe Zahara Benet
Ben and Bebe have one-on-ones with the All Stars because, production. If they eliminate based on performance, Kennedy has to go. It’s time. Then they meet with the eliminees. Ugh. Two or three queens is doable. Eight is too much. Bring Aja back based on performance. Bring Milk back for more drama. Easy-peasy.
BenDeLaCreme and Bebe perform Nobody’s Supposed To Be Here (Hex Hector Dance Mix) by Deborah Cox. DeLa truly feels the song while Bebe just does Bebe. Bebe is an extraordinary talent but too self-aware tonight. Ben is more believable, more vulnerable. It’s the difference between a lip-sync and a performance. Case in point, Bebe snatches her own wig. Normally, this is verboten. We’ll see if any Drag Race rules apply to Bebe.
DeLa is so desperate to be Congenial, she brings Morgan McMichaels back into the competition. Guilt trips work, y’all. When it’s time to eliminate, Ben says her decision has never been easier. She pulls out a lipstick with her own name on it. Gasp! She’s self-evicting. The shoo-in has had enough. Shangela and Trixie suddenly have a chance at the crown.
Next week: The queens star in My Best Squirrelfriend’s Dragsmaids Wedding Trip. And get cutthroat.