I’m just going to zip though these last two episodes and see if there is anything interesting to report. If not, maybe I’ll just talk about how I am starting to wonder if one of the houses in my neighborhood is a meth house.
On the first episode, Fredrik is on an African safari somewhere and Bethenny can’t sit still so she has convinced his assistant Jordan to go with her to look at potential flips. With Fredrik out-of-town, should be Jordan be super busy doing everything by himself? They stop in Tribeca near where T. Swift lives according to Bethenny. I kind of love this weird apartment with a bed hidden under the floor. I also like the moving bookshelves. Bethenny hates it. It’s $2.75 million dollars. She thinks it would take another million to fix it. I think she just wanted to run into Taylor Swift. I could have found out all of this information online. You should only go out to see places that have potential online.
Be got a brief glimpse of Fredick in Zambia. Then just as quickly he was back. He went to six different countries with Derek and group of friends. I guess they were having their last child free vacation before the twins come. Fredrik is shopping for lights with one of his assistants and Bethenny is not there. This is all storyliine. Fredrik pretends he just sold a property. Then the calls his assistant who tells him he can’t write up the deal sheet because he is busy doing stuff for Bethenny. Why do we need to script the show for these two? Just putting them both in the same room together would be enough. I am starting to doubt they are even flipping houses at all. Writing up a deal sheet takes 15 minutes. Even if he was looking for flips for Bethenny, it could wait fifteen minutes.
We get to meet MJ, the surrogate over video chat. She seems very young!
Next it is time for a Skinnygirl promo under the guise of her assistant’s birthday. Fredrik and Jordan are invited. The driver is invited as well. He’s literally Bethenny’s best friend. His NDA must be volumes long. Fredrik and Bethenny have a housewives fight and she storms out of her own commercial. Then they very quickly make up.
Fredrik’s acting skills are amazing. We might need to watch his pornos for the acting ability alone. I bet Mark from the UK knows where to find them.
This is a really good episode despite all the scripted stuff. Bethenny takes Fredrik for dim sum. I have considered making some 3D friends just so I had people to do dim sum and fondue with. Then I remember I really don’t like 3D people and I can barely get along with most of you so I will probably never have dim sum. Fredrik hasn’t had it either. Fredrik is fascinated with Bethenny’s boobs. Bethenny says she has the best boobs ever! She kind of does. If I could blink and have her boobs I would. My bra size is 48 Long. I didn’t expect there to be so many balls involved in dim sum. Big balls. This may be all the dim sum I need.
The four wieners on a bench seen was hysterical.
Next we are off to The Hamptons. Fredrik is nervous about investing there because Bethenny knows more about the market than he does.
The second episode has two minutes clipped off the front. Somehow Dennis is in The Hamptons. Bethenny says she loves Dennis and she is comfortable with him and apparently they are back together. I am not sure if they still are together or not.
Bethenny has the gorgeous custom Bronco for The Hamptons. She is not a very good driver. I would love to have an old Bronco and live on the beach. The first place they look at is an old farmhouse. It has good bones but would need MAJOR renovations. Then it would be to die for. Right now it has zero curb appeal. If I don’t get to see the finished result of this house, I’m going to be pissed. I can tell already that they want it.
Bethenny has a party at her spectacular place in The Hamptons that has its own bar. Dennis is staying there with her and she invited two of her assistants and Jordan. So it’s essentially three couples. Dennis says he’d like to see a dance contest and he will give the winner ten grand. Dennis officially skeeves me out just a touch. The contest is the most hysterical bad white people dances I’ve ever seen. Bethenny does a head stand with a split in a dress. She was wearing a nude g-string if you’re interested. ROFLMAO. Bethenny just said, “Some people may say I shake it like a white girl, but, you know… I’m white.” Too funny. Somehow, Fredrik won.
The farmhouse owner, refused to even counter their low offer, so they are back to square one. I have a feeling this seller may come back after a week or two.
Back in NYC, Bethenny shows Dennis the apartment at 10 Madison like she is trying to sell it on him. Bethenny finds out that Fred didn’t include a lot of things in the $300K budget.
Next week: The two fight about budget. This was way better than the first couple of episodes.