So, as the second showing of this week episode starts, there are literally five comments in my viewing party thread. I have not read them yet, because I don’t want my recap to be influenced, but either the show was a total dud, or you guys just don’t like talking amongst yourselves! Let me just dive right in. I can’t go to be without watching it and am feeling a bit better and have finally stopped coughing my head off.
I need to see SO MUCH MORE of the Barcelona architecture, y’all this city is so moving up my list despite the political unrest. Eva, bless her heart goes door to door at eight a.m. offering people coffee. I love her. Everyone else basically sends her away. She even offers
Kim’s wig coffee. The only taker was Sheree. Because she is a total taker. And she complained about her room and says Tyrone has a better room in prison. Bitch, shut up. Kandi will have her ass some breakfast though. She’s already dressed and downstairs have breakfast with Cynthia. I would totally go on a trip with Kandi and Cynthia. But I do sleep late. I can’t believe these people are trashing the free villa. I blame the new travel girl for this. She also fucked up the RHONY trip to Cartagena. And these RHOA were left standing on the side of the road in Barcelona after a spa trip. I presume she is fired. I am totally available for the job if Bravo is interested.
Anyway, Kandi is pissy with Marlo. When Marlo arrives, the conversation turns to Brielle. Kandi loves Brielle but she says she was totally out of line. Everyone except Sheree says Brielle was way out of line. Cynthia pointed out Sheree sure had a problem with Kenya making comments about her house but she doesn’t seem to have an issue with Brielle and Kim’s bad behavior. On another topic, Eva says that having her sexuality questioned on TV was not something she is used to. Shamea is trying WAY too hard to block Eva from getting a peach. It’s a ridiculous battle because at least for next season, Kenya’s peach is up for grabs and the Bravo suits are giving it to Kim. I love Eva talking about how thirsty “Messy Mea” is. Kandi of course sticks up for her um, very close friend Shamea.
It is only BREAKFAST on day two, and there is so much drama. I have no idea why there was nothing to talk about in the viewing post! Things are going down! Marlo and Kandi come for Porsha and her backpedaling after lying. Kandi says Porsha backpedals so much she might as well moonwalk out of the room after talking. Nene is the last to breakfast and she says because Cynthia was a bargain shopper, she has gotten them a hotel room. She says they can all pack up after lunch.
On the ride to the next activity, we have to talk about Cynthia’s bucket list challenge. They add tongue kiss another woman and make Cynthia kiss Kandi. Really? Are we twelve? Is this Cynthia’s advertised dip in the lady pond. For fuck sake. Kandi says she is not kissing any MORE women in this circle. So Porsha volunteers. Kandi points out that Porsha has stuck her tongue down her throat in the past.
OMG I would never ride with any of these women in a go-cart on the streets of Barcelona. NOPE! Sure as shit Porsha wrecks hers because she didn’t pay attention to the instructions. They stop for lunch at a fresh farmers market and order a bottle of Absolut and some brown juice for the hoodrats. Seriously? You are in Spain! Order sangria like normal people. And some food, it’s lunch! Kandi has the sense to ask what the specialty is and the waiter says squid so she and Cynthia order that. They actually ordered like the whole menu. Nene doesn’t know the difference between paella and papaya. Sigh. Why do these morons get to travel? It’s so embarrassing. Porsha can’t fake being a “baby vegan” in Spain. Bitch, that was your whole storyline.
Then Nene talks about Brielle’s video. Nene acts like there are not roaches in Atlanta. Sheree says no one has roaches these days and then production cuts to her stopping a roach on her construction site. Hysterical. Almost as funny as her small paycheck. Nene is pissed at Sheree and Porsha for not telling Kim she is wrong for that. Sheree says that she will “tell Kim what was discussed here.” Of course she will, she is the bone carrier. Nene says she was unaware of any beef with Kim. THAT’S A LIE. BLIND ITEM REVEAL!! These two war all the time about money. Marlo turns to Porsha and asks if she is going to have a conversation with Kim. Porsha says she doesn’t know.
Okay, we literally get a montage of Marlo raging at housewives over the years. She has a criminal history of violence, and production keeps dragging her on these trips, WHY? Nene tries to reel Marlo in from coming for Porsha. Nene don’t even like Porsha. But she does know she doesn’t want to go to be locked up abroad with these to fighting bitches. Then Marlo starts attacking Porsha’s house. And here we go. Eva looks scared and she should be. I love Eva. Cynthia mentions she has a lot of IKEA in her house. Rich people I have been told are quite fond of IKEA kitchen makeovers and they come at all kinds of price points. All still more than I want to pay but still. But I do not understand people jumping on the mock Porsha’s doormat being “too small.” I get we are in the south and we all have big ass feet, but the doormat was just fine. Porsha says her mother bought her the doormat. Really? This all has to be as fake at the stemware drama on RHOBH. We need to talk about Porsha’s mama co-signing on that house.
Until Porsha has enough. Marlo starts talking about the drama with Porsha and Kandi FROM LAST SEASON. For the love of God can we never move on from ANYTHING? Marlo calls Porsha out for fake ass crying. It really was pathetic. Porsha wants to talk about working really hard for something. Really? I believe Porsha and Marlo have the same JOBZZZZZZZZZ allegedly. To be fair, while Porsha did bring out the fan first, she wasn’t intimidating Marlo with it until Marlo who was drunk as fuck started waving her hands like a crazy person. Then she snatched that fan from Porsha. Then Porsha forgets both of her made for TV “anger management classes” and jumps the fuck up. Kandi in a talking head reminds us that Porsha didn’t like it when Kenya was waving something in her face. THAT WAS FROM THE OPPOSITE END OF A SIX FOOT COUCH WITH CYNTHIA IN BETWEEN THEM AND A FOOT AND A HALF ON EITHER SIDE OF KENYA! Kandi tells Marlo who never left her seat that they need to go because she has no idea how to get Marlo out of jail in Spain. Nene says not to leave the vodka behind, because surely they need more of that, AT LUNCH. In Cynthia’s talking head, she says she doesn’t know whose fault it is but they both have mugshots (for violent behavior). I wish they would have let them both be locked up in abroad.
Next we have Porsha, Shamea and Sheree in one group and everyone else in the other. Porsha is talking about something Nene told her in confidence that Marlo did to her. It’s one a.m. and I have not recollection of whatever she is referring to. The cops drive by and the ladies leave Porsha, Sheree and Shamea to fend for themselves. I liked Shamea a lot more when she was on the outs with Porsha. Seeing her stick to Porsha instead of Kandi is just fucking wrong. Emphasis on the fucking. Allegedly.
By the time their drunk asses get home from “lunch” it is dark. That is how production goes. One lunch scene can take five hours. Especially when two violent call girls fight. Allegedly.
Once again, production makes it look like it was Porsha’s idea to go home early. WHY DO THEY DO THIS? It also looked like they made it seem like Marlo’s fault when really, who knows what happened but Porsha has a peach and Marlo does not and if someone had to go home based on what we saw it should be Marlo. But it wasn’t. I think production heavily edited it to make it look like Porsha was somehow being wronged, but they love Porsha and if they could have kept her and sent Marlo home, they would have. It’s odd. Nene really stuck up for Porsha in their one on one conversation. But she does tell Porsha that she never admitted that she fucked up. Jesus Christ, it’s a Porsha redemption scene. Nene is not buying it, but production is production.
I can’t get over how much they badmouthed the villa that PRODUCTION CHOSE. And they got for free.
On the next episode in two weeks, Nene denies dating Tyrone even though no one else suggested it. And I am shocked and pleased that they discuss the election in Barcelona where they were voting for Catalonia to secede from Spain. I doubt they show any real politics, but it is nice that it was acknowledged. They were actually in the hotel in the middle of all the protests. Probably should have stayed in that villa. Folks from Atlanta are used to the occasional mildew issues. Riots are another thing entirely. They act like they do not know what is going on but the hotel made it very clear that it was not the safest day to go out sight-seeing.