Apparently there is a lot to cover on WWHL tonight so I’ve been sort of dragging my feet and looking for photos, but now I am having that, “OMG! You have got to get a post up!” feeling so I must get to it.
In the first poll half of the people said they believed that Stassi’s apology was sincere. Seriously? What is wrong with people?
Then we get a montage of Scheana talking about how great Rob is. It’s kind of sad. Then Andy plays clips of Scheana and Stassi confirming that Scheanna hooked up with Carl. Carl says it is true and Scheana was just irritated that everyone was talking about it because none of the people talking about it were there. Andy of course wants all the details and asked how many time they have hooked up. Carl stammers around a good bit before landing on the number two.
Andy asks if it will happen again and he says you will need to watch the next episode. I have this show on DVR still and can’t seem to either watch it or delete it. Today might be the day. Then he says he is just kidding about the next episode.
Next week get a very special afterschool special scene with Tom and Jax about Jax’s lack of future options. Ninety five percent of viewers think it is time for Jax to move on from SUR. They are idiots. He needs to ride this gravy train as long as he possibly can. He will never make more than minimum wage when this show ends.
Then we find out that Carl has three balls, but no girl has ever noticed. What about the guys? Sorry, I am getting ahead of things just a bit here.
We get a montage of Lala moments. Her mother is in the audience clapping like a fat kid who sees a cake. Ninety-five percent of the audience says that Lala and James should never, ever, ever get back together. Lala gives the voters a standing ovation.
On a clip of the next Vanderpump Rules James bemoans the fact that Lala has run off with a rich man. He says, “You know Ray Jay hit it first before Kanye.” And Lala points out he just admitted that he claims to be the White Kanye but he’s really the Ray Jay.
And now, the moment that Andy has been waiting for the entire episode. I am shocked he made it eighteen minutes in before bringing it up. He wants to know about a comment that Stephen made at the end of last night’s episode about Carl saying the best head he’s ever gotten was from a guy.
Carl says, “I can tell you this, Andy, I’m a straight man … very confident in my sexuality. Stephen is actually one of my first gay friends. I told him something. I didn’t really know how to communicate it to him, and I made more of a joke than I should have but I told him very private information about something happening to me when I was 22. It took me 10 years to actually come to grips and like share it with someone. I shared it with one of my gay friends, and somehow that got permeated to other people finding out, and here I am, having a conversation about it. Honestly, I felt like he betrayed my trust. You guys will have to tune in next week and see how it all unfolds, but I’m a straight guy, very confident in myself, and unfortunately crazy shit happens.”
When Andy asks a question about Faith, Lala responds with, “Who’s Faith?”
Lala says she has never seen anything that would lead her to believe that Logan and James have hooked up. Does she not have eyes in her head? She says they have a great friendship and that Logan is very much down for the cause as far as James goes. But, you know what? Whatever happens to them behind closed doors is their business. Well, apparently one thing that happens is that James physically abuses Logan.
Carl says the biggest misconception people have about him is that he is a douchebag.
A caller asks Lala what it is about James that makes her put up with all of his nonsense. She says that is a very good question and she has recently realizes there is nothing about him that is worth putting up with all of his crap.
A caller asks Carl if he thinks Stephen is interested in him romantically. He says that Carl does have a tendency to date guys that seem straight but are not out. He reminds us for the millionth time that he is straight. But the weird part of this question was Lala jumping in after the closeted comments asking if they are on the same show. Who is she referring to? James, Jax. Sandoval or Schwartz? Because those four are gayer than any PRIDE parade you’ll ever see.
Andy plays a game called Are They Older Than Jax (He’s 38)? Tedi Mellencamp is 36. Seth Rogan 35. Kim Zolciak claims to be 39. Brittany Spears is 36. Channing Tatum is 37. John Legend 39. Beyonce is 36. Melissa Gorga is 38. John Meyer is 40.
Carl feels bad for whatever douchebaggery he did to Lauren.
Lala says that at first she was suspicious of the motives of The Witches of Weho but after they gave her a chance the really do like her. Also, Katie was born in Utah like she was and they don’t breed bad people in Utah. Well, you know except for Ted Bundy, Warren Jeffs, Mark Hoffmann… I could go on here.
There was actually a lot of interesting stuff crammed into this little episode.