Well, before we get started tonight. I might as well tell you guys here that Jenelle and David have been getting a lot of negative press. First of all on the day of the school shooting in Parkland, Jenelle posts a photo of herself with some kind of rifle. I didn’t see it so not sure what kind it was. Also David decided to join the world of Twitter and started off by saying really offensive things about homosexuality and transgendered people. I won’t even go into repeating it all, it was just horrible stuff. He has since either deleted his Twitter or it was deleted for hate speech. Now on to these OG fools.
Ryan & Mack
I can’t believe I have to watch this addict get married again. Why are we redoing it? He doesn’t seem like he is off the junk at all to me. This is just a reenactment of the first huge mistake with more spectators. Ryan is drinking Jack Daniels to get prepared to do it all over. Ryan is ad libbing his vows because he doesn’t care.
Ryan drinks all the way to the wedding. When the guys arrive the girls are taking pictures on the lawn. Mack makes a huge deal about Ryan seeing her before the wedding. Um, he saw her before the first one, and this one is a fake do over. Relax, fool.
Ryan chews gun the entire ceremony. Ryan’s entire head looks swollen up to twice its normal size. Is that a drug thing? Ryan gives a short vow, Mackenzie gives a very long one that doesn’t reflect their relationship at all and seems like it was copied from some book somewhere. I give it six months. On the walk over to the reception they fight because Mack doesn’t feel well since she hasn’t eaten anything. Ryan is pissed it is taking so long to get to the booze even though he has a bottle of champagne in his hand along with another giant cup of something. When they finally arrive at the bar, they argue about money. Ryan is so drunk he didn’t want to finish the first dance. Ryan bolts to the bar to take shots and one of Mack’s friends tells her that was the most awkward first dance she has ever seen. Mack seemed shocked that she wasn’t pulling it off. Later, Ryan is shocked that the wedding cake is real. Maci and Ryan’s mom have a drunken makeup moment. Larry gave an emotional speech, that was kind of sad in the overall scheme of this farce.
I am also sick of talking about this wedding. And Farrah’s asshole. Farrah is back doing online porn. He mom is not happy about it. But she is trying to keep Farrah from being mad at her. Do any of these people have any idea how to be parents?
Farrah, Debra and Sophia go to an aerial yoga class and the Debra and Sophia go off on their own. Sophia says she is coming to the wedding. I’m not sure is she is kidding or not.
Farrah gets vaginal rejuvenation. I presume this is a business expense for Farrah.
Later, Farrah is super late to leave to go film with Debra. Debra has been waiting in the car for over half an hour on Farrah. When Farrah finally comes down, she cusses out the producer for having her mother wait in the car. She says stupid things like “I know I don’t like you and I don’t even want to fucking look at you but… if you can’t get along with anyone…. blah blah blah” peppered with lots of f-bombs.
There should be something to keep Amber from procreating. But since there is not, she goes to get an ultrasound and finds out it’s a boy. Andrew is thrilled. What the hell is that giant tattoo on Amber’s belly? Is it a life-size tattoo of her daughter or something? It’s god awful.
Amber tells Leah that she is going to have a baby brother at Leah’s pizza and painting party. I can’t believe she is nine years old.
Catelynn & Tyler
Nova looks exactly like Tyler. Tyler lets Butch know that the hospital gave him a free scholarship for six months of treatment. I feel like Teen Mom probably paid for that.
When the counselor gives Tyler some attention and tells him that he can stop being the parent. She gives him a lot of good advice and information. I wish he could spend more time with her. I think he would benefit from Al-Anon as well. I wish Teen Mom would give him a little help in finding a support system.
Butch and Tyler both cried a lot when they said goodbye. I felt bad that there was no one there for Tyler as he left other than production.