#WWHL With Katie & Tom Schwartz

I had planned to recap this at 11 last night but I got sidetracked ranting about the movie Lady Bird I had just watched. Then I discovered the 11 pm show didn’t tape and I had to tape the second show. I am trying to be on a more normal, healthy schedule these days and I finally fell into bed around one. So, progress? Anyway, let’s see what I missed.

Men’s clothing designer, Tom Synder is the bartender. Andy lets us know he went to his fashion show that day and he is always happy to be wearing his designers. Tom tells Andy he always looks great. NO HE DOES NOT! His tie is wonkier than eyes tonight and it must be KILLING Tom not to come from behind the bar and fix it. WHY DOESN’T ANYONE EVER FIX HIS DAMN TIE? And he is also unshaven as if he is trying to grow a beard again. He looks homeless.

And asks about the Bubba painting in their living room in a rather condescending way. They explain that one of Katie’s friends decorated their apartment for them. Schwartz had given her a framed print out at some point with her name at the top and all the pet names he had ever called her. The friend decided to just do a painting to update that into something more wall worthy. I think the painting and the sentimentality attached works for them even if spray paint is not my thing. Andy scoffs. 

I mean, have you ever seen photos of Andy’s apartment? It looks exactly how an apartment would look if you gave a 15-year-old a trust fund and let him move out on his own. No one cares about Andy’s opinion on interior design. In 2015 Architectural Digest did a quick piece that was amusing. It seems to have been removed from the site. That is interesting. Last year, Elle Decor did a spread on his apartment after his many years of renovations combining apartments on his West Village apartment’s floor. It does look much better now. Still he has no place critiquing anyone else’s style. And once again, these are guests on his show that he enjoys being rude to.

Katie talks about being shocked at Kevin Lee’s outrageously rude behavior toward her on the last episode. He asks if he apologized. Katie gives sort of a “what do you think” face and Schwartz pipes in with “Yes he did, and he was really sincere and sent a nice bouquet of flowers.” It doesn’t seem like Katie was accepting of the gesture and it seemed very rude of Schwartz to jump in and answer for her especially when he ended his interjection with, “He’s a sweet dude.” Later, Katie lets us know that LVP had some words with Kevin about his behavior.

LVP, Kristen and even Scheana tweeted in support for Katie regarding her very serious accident years ago and her run-in with Kevin Lee. Katie seemed shocked and thrilled by Scheana’s kind words.

I can’t believe that I don’t remember any of these scenes from the show last night. I had not had a drop to drink. Sometimes when I don’t remember a show the next day I think, “Wow, I must have had more wine than I thought.” Now it seems clear that I just don’t pay attention and can’t remember shit. I’ve been to two movies lately and in both movies I’ve sort of zoned out for a minute and wanted to hit rewind. Clearly, I am losing brain cells by the day.

Speaking of having no recollection of things, we now get a montage of Schwartz saying he doesn’t remember making out with girls in bars. Eighty-eight percent of the audience has not blacked out and made out with other people. I think I am in the 12%. Don’t judge.

Katie admits that after being such a bitch to Lala about the private jet, she went with her on the private jet to Vegas recently.

Next week, Stassi has invited a stripper to a party as a guest and Katie puts her to work so that she can take shots out of her asscrack. As one does. The Stassi storms out of her fourth or fifth 29th birthday party.

Random Answers to Viewer Questions

Mike Shay recently sent Katie some of his music tracks he is working on. Katie says that Stassi is not racist. Schwartz regrets calling Scheana a bootleg Kardashian. Katie and Schwartz give a joking answer to a caller who asks how many women he has to kiss before she lets him go. They agree on seven as a good over under. The is not opening date set for Tom Tom to open. They are shooting for May.  Katie downplays Tequila Kate’s rage texts, in comparison to Schwartz kissing random girls.

Katie’s skylight accident was in 2009 the night of her first shift at SUR. She was drinking wine and playing monopoly with friends and was sitting on a skylight when it gave way and dropped her 25 feet. She was in ICU terrified she was going to lose her job for not showing up on the first night.

Lisa and Ken gave them a beautiful decanter set with a custom bottle of wine that had a Bubba label with their wedding invitation on it. They loved it.

Andy gives himself the Jackhole for this moronic behavior. He apologized to the station and the reporter. He said he was feeling pretty stupid about it until he saw what the Eagles fans were doing and then he felt fine. What douchenozzle he is.