I haven’t had a chance to watch Vanderpump Rules yet tonight, but I feel like Andy is going to make me rewatch most of it here anyway, so let’s get this recap going. I am exhausted and my laptop keyboard is missing a few letters, but I must persevere.
I am now blind because of Andy’s shirt and tie combo. How much more must I suffer today??? My girl Kristen looks like she is hitting the adderall and coke too hard.
Quad gives us and up date on the marital statuses of the couples on Married To Medicine. Jackie and Curtis are back in therapy and on the mend. Quad says he mouth was on the floor when she found at the reunion that Simone and Cecil are getting a divorce. Toya needs to make sure Eugene is okay with her talking about their lack of sex life. Heavenly says that she doesn’t have anything to worry about with her marriage but Quad seemed to imply that might not be the case. Contessa and Scott are trying to figure out how to get Contessa more time with her kids. Quad didn’t say anything that gave any indication how that is going. Her response was similar to “that’s up to her.” Mariah seems to have a healthy sex life with her husband.
Kristen answers questions about the guys. James, no… Jax is the biggest cheater. Swartz is the cutest. None of the guys are getting married anytime soon. Carter has the highest freak number. Swartz kisses LVPs ass the most. James has the worst style.
Apparently, the big news of the day is that Scheana hooked up with Carl from Summer House.
Kirsten swears that pasta is not a code word for cocaine. She swears it’s the angel hair pasta at SUR and it’s fantastic. She says she would have eaten it too. Kristen, Lala, nor Raquel have eaten pasta in the last 10 years. I don’t believe her.
Kirsten thinks that James and Logan have hooked up.
Quad is annoying AF. Like Phaedra annoying. Quad is asked if Simone’s divorce had made her reevaluate her own marriage. She says yes it has she has taken a look at some things that have been going on in her own marriage and there will be some hard decisions that need to be made.
Kristen explains to the caller that Britanny never agree to a threesome with Jax and Faith. Faith has a bit of a different story about Brittany calling Faith right after she left a party at her house and asking her back for the night.
Kristen thinks that Jax has been faithful to Kentucky since the Faith incident. Kirsten does not agree with James saying that Lala’s man will move on from her eventually for a younger model. She says Lala and her man are very cute together and very in love. Side note: Randall’s ex is already planning her wedding to the next guy. It seems pretty clear Randall has been separated for quite some time.
It certainly appeared as though Kristen was drinking water. Interesting.