If you follow me on Twitter, or even just read here a lot, you are aware that I often self medicate and then start talking about getting out of this shithole shack I live in. That would require a whole lot of cleaning. Think think of the dirtiest house you have ever known and multiple by three. My depression and anxiety has kept me mostly sitting on this couch for the past few YEARS and doing the very bare minimum when it comes to house work. I have finally hopefully found someone to come help me dig out. Since I know one of the people very well, I scheduled for next Saturday. This give me a week to clean before the cleaning crew comes.
I am sitting here with my heart pounding out of my chest. As it turns out if you just sit down for a few years. Literally, every bit of activity is laborious. I’m worried I’m going to have a heart attack, so I am taking a lot of breaks. Anyway, this sounds like an awful, depressing post, but it is not! I am making great strides toward freedom. I figure it will take me a year or so to get the house together and perhaps sell it. Or once I get it back to being clean and give it some updates I will want to stay. I did discover that the room that I call the wardrobe room has a bad moisture problem due to issues in the crawl space, so that will probably be project one. But I am cautiously optimistic about having a plan!
I know a lot of you have a lot going on. I know we all want to know how English Rose is doing. We’ve got a couple of people in boots for bad ankles. So this is an open forum. And for the love of GOD do any of you have any good news?
Break is over, off to clean.
The only good news I have is that you just described my life and my house, so you are not alone. Bad news, just got home from a funeral. I am now elbow deep into a pan of frosted brownies.
I just threw away all of my shoes except the new pair I just bought because of mildew. I probably should have opened the door of what has become a storage room. The outside trash is beyond full. I am about to throw away a ton of clothes. I can’t even donate them because of the mildew smell.
Good God, I’ve found my people. We may disagree on some of the issues between Israel and Palestine, but I’m envious you can even FIND your old shoes to throw away.
Inspirational.
Starting to clean tomorrow. I myself won’t be calling the crew for a while. Going to do what I can myself.. one garbarge or donate to Goodwill bag at a time.
FYI – Goodwill won’t take underwear unless it’s in original packaging. Not telling how I know this.
Had no clue there were so many of us.
I’m not worried about undies…
I got to figure out where to recycle old, empty wine bottles. I should also probably go get a dust mask or two since I am asthmatic.
Make a bottle tree outside. I have wanted one forever but don’t drink enough wine due to my medications. Would clear them out and give you something pretty to look at.
Can’t you just put them in your recycling bin? If you don’t have curbside recycling there must be a recycling center you could take them to.
You can get rid of mildew smell out of clothing and shoes by soaking items in vinegar and washing them with vinegar and baking soda .
It may be more than necessary 1/4 of a jug of vinegar to a tub of water in your machine,I add 2 cups baking soda this mildew,mold smell happens because my teenager and I are both guilty of forgetting we started a load of laundry.
The Good News is you can svae some clothes and shoes.
You can also fill your bathtub,totes whatever will hold clothes with water and vinegar and soak at least 3 hours wash and dry.
I am sorry you have a mold issue may be worth it to get a dehumidifier too.
Good Luck
Gross. Then they smell like vinegar.
No. It’s all good because you have worked hard to clear things out. You will feel that positive happiness when these guys all leave. You will know that you did this all on your own even though you weren’t feeling well and your back started hurting, you tackled a huge project. And that will give you momentum to carry you through. To hell with their comments. They’re the ones being inappropriate. Not you. Pop the cork on a bottle of champagne. Put your feet up and look around and smile. Your spirit and strength helped so many of us. Hold your head up. We all go through periods in life when immobility takes over for whatever reason and we find some seemingly insurmountable things pile up. But you have shown us that huge obstacles can be overcome when the time is right. You were ready and you tackled a massive undertaking. I am happy for you. And I’m excited about the rug, pillows and other things you bought to do a makeover. That’s always the fun part.
Good for you TT!! I would probably be in the same situation except that I am a thrower. I can’t stand clutter, it makes me feel like the walls are caving in on me. My one problem area is me basement. I have many many boxes that I brought home with me after my mother passed. I don’t even know what’s in most of them. It’s been 7 years that I’ve past them and ignored, so I think maybe it’s time to really dig in and figure it out. Maybe not.
Wow! There are others like me? Comforting.
I kno rite? Good to know this is a thing and not just me.
Well, the good news with the mildew is that those items will be gone, with no second thoughts of dithering about where to donate. And that is a real life stumbling block when you have a big project like this.
Frequent resting is good, as you slowly build up stamina.
My great news is I am heading right now to see Kevin Hart live! Pouring down rain here in Ohio, and I am a hermit who usually doesn’t leave the house except for work (teaching high school special ed, ED, which is truly the most mentally & physically exhausting position I have ever been in). A surprise Christmas gift I never would have bought for myself!
Lucky You……. Enjoy Yourself.???
I saw Kevin Hart when I was pregnant with my youngest. He wasn’t as funny as I thought he would be. Now Kat Williams, I’ve watched his stand up on DVR and YouTube like forty times. I still think he’s way funnier?
Trump and Melania have reunited. I know we all worried over that ?
Oh for fu*ks sake.
Good one Caipatti!
I am gearing up to try and get this house on the market as well. Tons of work and upgrades will have to be done. I am more motivated by the Couple down the street who sold theirs in 2 weeks. The home next door sold in 4 months. They however were lucky enough to move out while it was on the market. Damn I wish. We also have a large rescue Bear to contend with. He cannot stay here while it’s shown and he hates the car. I grew up inside the Perimeter and wanna go back. Hubby wants to move further out. Oh joy, sound like fun doesn’t it? I feel your anxiety on this totally.
I must have missed it. What happened to English Rose?
Tamara, your honesty, your sense of humor, and your amazing readers are what I treasure about this site. Depression is such a bitch – it sucks your life force and can virtually paralyze you. It’s a very huge hole when you try to dig yourself out, but you’re starting to climb that ladder one tiny step at a time. I’m also trying to get my house back in order after years of letting it go (and go and go and go) when I was a caregiver. I comfort myself with quotes from famous (and very wise) people such as Erma Bombeck who brilliantly said, “My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance”, or Quentin Crisp who was even smarter and announced that housework was a complete waste of time because it didn’t get any dirtier after the first four years! Well, a good laugh is good, but it won’t clean out our corners, scrub the floors, or empty our cluttered rooms. You’re doing the smart thing by tackling one small thing at a time, just be careful not to push too hard and overdo it, and good luck with that cleaning crew. I wish you the very best in everything you do. You’ve created such a positive place for so many of us – you’re somewhat of a rarity, you know – very few people let it all out, warts and all, and that’s what we relate to and love about you.
I’d also like to send many thanks to those who reached out to me with words of encouragement during my ongoing problems with my mentally ill grandson. He was taken into custody and, despite a scare early yesterday when we mistakenly thought he had been released and was on the streets, will be in jail at least until his next court date on February 7th. As I told Fizz (who has been so sweet), I never thought I’d be happy to say a family member was incarcerated, but at least he’s safe in there and will hopefully be ordered to get some kind of treatment. I still get a little nervous, because the justice system doesn’t always act in a way we expect, but fingers (and toes, and eyes) crossed.
Love and best wishes to everyone going through hard times, and sending healing vibes to the ladies with the injured ankles. Hope you’ll be up and dancing in no time.
Sorry about your grandson but it sounds like he’s safe, which is the most important thing for now.
I had a brother who, through alcohol abuse, became quite violent with his family members. We were his enablers as we were the only people on earth who put up with his terrible behavior and kept trying to help him.
When my other siblings and I finally said enough, he promised to come into our homes some night and murder us. We lived in fear but refused to continue to support him. Instead, we reported him and he was arrested. Once he was released, he found new enablers in his drinking buddies and promptly left us alone.
I am holding hope that your grandson will follow that route also and leave his family in peace once he realizes that you are not going to support his problems any longer.
Just to clarify, I hope your grandson seeks help, not other enablers.
English Rose – I don’t know you personally but I always look for your comments and can tell you are a wonderful lady who is also spunky. What a sad thing for your family but at least you can sleep knowing he’s safe, fed and warm. God Bless
Lisa
as long as he is still HERE, there is always hope for a change. I will keep hoping for you and your family.
Sending you a big hug. I know you made some hard decisions.
I had a friend who caused many sleepless nights for everyone who cared and it was sad but true that for the four months she spent in prison, we all had better sleep. I think she did as well.
So, I understand a bit..
It is important that you are safe.I know jails will fail at getting him treatment hope they see if it is serious enough will do something for him. Take Care
Ditto EnglishRose…I agree 100% about TT and her readers. Your unfolding story and her readers that speak up? I love and really listen to what everyone says.
Glad you’re safe and sound tonight, hang in there…you’ve done everything you thought to do helping your grandson. Now you have to let the “system” work for him and hopefully you’ll get to see the grandson you obviously love so much come back into your life well. That’ll probably be very hard but just try to remember you both need this time to heal. IMHO.
I’m thinking about how to tell my (messy) story, it’s coming to a post “near you.” I’m just trying to think how to begin and keep it short and sweet…ha!
I don’t know you but “I see you” ER! Hope it’s ok I abbreviated your name?
Thank you, Kipper. You can call me anything you want! Hope you soon feel comfortable sharing your story, messy or not.
Sending many positive thoughts & wishing peace & clarity .
Thanks for sharing your story, English Rose. I hope for the very best outcome and all the strength you need to stay strong and positive. Sending prayers your way, and also for your grandson.
Wow. Congrats! Just check all the pockets. My mom has thrown away more cash and jewelry that way. lol
Life’s ok right now. Insanely busy, but ok.
Just hope everyone has a good weekend, and we all woke up this morning so that’s a good thing. ?
Your comment about cleaning before the cleaners arrive cracked me up. I cleaned private homes for years to get by and I had three great clients who always cleaned before my cleaning day! Loved those jobs. Just some dusting and tidying.
Now that I no longer clean homes, I find myself in the unfortunate position of having a dirty home myself. I burned myself out cleaning up the grime of others and am now finding myself doing anything I can to avoid my own neglectful conditions. Le sigh.
Everyone thinks I’m disgusting because I DON’T do that.
“Hi, my dirty laundry is over there. I’m having a nap I’m hungover. You know where the coffee is. I love you. Zzz zzz.”
I’m pretty sure there must be stories about me being a disgusting train wreck in the local cleaner community. Which in my head the definitely have, and it’s identical to Devious Maids.
Oh we’ve read all about you on the super secret “gay filth” site. 🙂
I knew you were all talking about me behind my back. I once had a Russian girl who cleaned my house in London and she came into my room when I forgot she was due. Me naked, cute little piece of Irish trade in the bed, surrounded by fried chicken and empty bottles of chardonnay.
By the time I put pants on and went downstairs she was half way down the street. She never came back.
You had me at naked.
Then again at cute little piece of Irish trade
You sort of lost me with the fried chicken but the chardonnay rallied me.
My long time cleaning lady used to clean for a dominatrix. For some reason this dominatrix catered to the hasidic jewish community so she’d turn up and there would be all of these guys in various stage of domination. She would mop around them.
Your Russian cleaning lady was an amateur.
I know, right? I thought they were made of stronger stuff. I mean, what’s a ball gag between friends?
Awesome story! Need to ask my gals for a good one…
I just had a vision of naked circumcised men who were only wearing the side curls and a hat. Perhaps some socks and leather shoes.
Not a turn on. Apparently I’m for Jewish guys only if they are not hidden submissives and orthodox. Who knew?
I always honestly wondered why the dominatrix couldn’t just order the men to clean the apartment. Seems like an easy two-fer.
Omg! What a way to start a Sunday. Thank you so much.
You know I’ve never thought about that. Do you have to have sex with them? Because if not I’d be SO DOWN for getting paid to be mean to someone and make them clean my house.
I’d maybe throw them a bone if they were hot.
Wow, you actually have me laughing, thank you for the awesome visual. I haven’t laughed in quite some time. Feels good.
Am I allowed to link here? https://youtu.be/2qqzZ7Ad-xc
You know this is against the rules. But I appreciate the gesture to add a little levity to these comments.
That is fucking funny.
Agreed! I needed a laugh. That helped.
hilarious ty
Hysterical. Just hysterical! Now I have to go change my shirt because your comment made me spit my coffee out.
Went to Kohl’s, got 5 new outfits and snow flake lights for .18 cents out if pocket! I rock! ?
High five to the snowflakes❣️
Took 50 lbs of dirty laundry to the fluff and fold, just picked it up today and dropped off 20 more. Back to cleaning out the mildewy room. It’s even less fun than you are imagining,
Get. A. Cleaner. Tamara.
Seriously they’re like £16 an hour and it’s the best money you’ve ever spent. Plus if you find a nice one it’s like having a little pal to chat to and drink coffee with while your house gets cleaned.
Especially for the big stuff like mildewy rooms. Treat Yo’self.
A team of three is coming next Saturday. I am paying $50 an hour EACH, I am desperate. I will be cleaning and throwing things out all week just to clear a path for them. LOL.
That’s a LOT! Give them a detailed list.
Good on you, TT. Must be something about 2018. My goal this year is to finish home projects, get rid of 30 years of STUFF, and get this place on the market in 2019.
Keep us updated. Misery loves company. 😉
Make a list of heavy cleaning stuff for them to do, because you’re paying too much hourly. When you get things under control check with Groupon in your area. I get 4hrs. of heavy cleaning (oven, tile floors, baseboards, sometimes even windows!) for $90 (with “green” products). Then you can be generous with tipping, I am.
I can barely keep up with light cleaning on a regular basis, so every other month I hire cleaners. It’s a good idea after you get to a manageable level.
Bet you are feeling good about your self, WTG girl.
I do know exactly what you are doing, I did not have mildew, just cloths that were damaged by moths or other reasons. Tried to save a few pieces but most I tossed. I almost cried over a few cashmere sweaters. All I saved were a few pair of boots, leather jackets+ and intimate apparel I had cleaned & my DIL’s went nuts over. They look at me a little differently now.
My tossing biggest issues have been books, my children’s “stuff”, California pottery, mid century kitchen stuff (can’t do this yet) and the tools, construction stuff, related to home building.
Sewing and all things that go with was hard but almost all gone except my buttons. Proud of that, it was hard, ask anyone that sews.
You will do this TT. You keep your goal in mind, visualize it when you get down or don’t want to get up. It took longer than a week to become a mess.
My biggest issue with cleaning is that there is too much stuff in the way. I can’t vacuum unless I spend 30 minutes picking up piles of books off the floor, taking things down the basement that have instead been piled on the steps, moving a bunch of little side tables that have a bunch of small, breakable stuff on them. I’m not a hoarder, my house doesn’t look like those houses, and I can get to every room and corner of my house…I just have that very American problem of having too much stuff. Getting too many stupid gifts at Christmas time and birthdays bc we all feel like we need to give and get a lot of presents for each holiday, so we end up buying many things for each other that nobody really needs. I have the problem of having too many of everything too—way too many dishes, glasses, coffee mugs, shoes, clothing, purses, Christmas decorations, crafting supplies, tools, and even cleaning supplies. The fact that I moved house 2 years ago and have a basement FULL of boxes I haven’t even opened yet bc I don’t need any of the things that are in the boxes, is really indicative of the problem. And now my basement is full of those things I moved but didn’t need, so now any of the things that I’ve accumulated in the last two years that I don’t need, is being kept in the dining room or the spare bedroom. I have a room on each floor of my house that basically just acts as a holding room for things I don’t need or know where to put. Just too much of everything. I know that I need to go through the house and just do a big purge, but I get so discouraged by the fact that it will take 20 trips in my car back and forth to goodwill. And then I also think that most of the stuff I’m giving to goodwill is really not for them. It’s eirther broken, stained, old, or just stupid. But I also feel badly about throwing things away—I don’t want to think about all of my stuff ending up in a landfill and contributing to environmental issues. And it would take just as many trips to the dump in the car as it would take to the goodwill. I have recently heard about a company called “grab my junk,” that will come with a large truck or dumpster. You load it up and they take it away. I think I might do this. Because keeping up with basic things like dusting and vacuuming and mopping the floors is becoming difficult. There is just too much stuff in the way.
It sounds like you have a very big job on your hands. It also sounds like it might be overwhelming for you. I empathize. I have emotional attachments to my things. Especially the things that belonged to my parents. I’ve been doing one room, one box at a time. I’m throwing out things I truly do not need but it’s hard when there is a memory attached. I have a rock that Ive kept for 40 years and i think i may throw it out.
Good luck.
Keep the rock. After r0 years it should keep its home
40 years
Tamara, as you are doing, just one piece of the project at a time. You will get there. I think the success trick then is keeping that hard won bit of progress clear when you move on to the next piece of house. Check the done bit/s last thing at night, remove anything that has crept back, and celebrate each bit of success. I think you are on it too, having IDed the moisture problem. Moisture causes more damage than anything except fire, and is just plain depressing in how fast it can destroy the house itself and contents. Go well and good on you making a start. You will get there.
Oh I have to go buy a dehumidifier tomorrow, I had one when I first moved in, but I was a different crazy back then. I had a clean house, and the occasional maid, And the dehumidifier brought down my entire decor of the room. I’m an idiot.
In the summer, the humidity just makes the air in the house so thick. I use a dehumidifier too. But there is also this stuff called “Damp Rid” that works really well. It has a version that is a bag-type thing on a plastic hanger. It absorbs the dampness through these bead things and then the water goes into the bottom of the bag. It has a fresh smell to it too so it helps with the mildew smell. They come in boxes of 3. The little hanger thing can hook over a doorknob or the pole in your closets. I also hang them on the doors in the bathrooms during the summer. It helps suck up the humidity from the hot showers.
If you can manage it, the greatest thing for moisture at the level caused by humid air, steam, etc, is simply good ventilation. Check ventilation vents are letting air under your house and are not blocked by earth or leaves that have crept up the foundation a bit outside, check guttering around the edge of roof is clear of leaves that can allow small leaks into the ceiling, keep air flowing through the house as much as you can unless it is too cold. Even then, on very cold days, I open every door and window up for 10 minutes a day. I no longer have any mildew in any room or corner of any wardrobe. Just keep an eye out for it coming back in any vulnerable place – like in corner of wall at ceiling level, and if it does, a very weak bleach solution will get it off walls. It is a war I am determined to win. It cheers me up to see no mildew now.
I wasn’t aware of your struggle until now, but I do identify with it. Unfortunately, I was extremely ill for many years and could never seem to motivate to get things under control. I lacked the energy to even care enough to ask for help. After becoming even sicker, falling into a coma, organ failure, rehabilitation, and eventual transplant, I returned home to the mess I left. Made shockingly worse by leaving my husband on his own for months.
It was overwhelming and difficult as I was barely able to move around to take care of myself. (My muscles had atrophied after time in a coma and being bedridden-and liver transplant is really really painful). I made a list of every room, space, and closet in my house. I broke it down to hundreds of small projects, loaded up on trash bags, and made a go at it. It took over three months, but I eventually got things under control. It was unbelievable the endless number of bags of stuff I purged.
I then hired a woman to clean my house regularly. She doesn’t do anything I can’t do myself, but I would never actually do it! It forces me to keep things in check. I can’t let things get too bad because I know it needs to be clutter free on the day she comes. I often have to do a crash cleaning the day before she comes. Often, I want to cancel and not deal with it-but I always feel great once she is done. It helps that she is really nice and understands I struggle sometimes.
I wish you luck. It sucks, but once it’s done, it feels soooo good!
Is this a parody account?
smart ass ?
Meow Meow
I’m totally with you on the hurdle of packing and clearing out clothes and shoes. I got into a frenzied mode, pulling things out of closets and tossing them in bags to give away. And then I couldn’t lift the stupid bags to get them out of the house. I paid someone to get them out and over to the donation place. The guy kept asking me “what the hell is in these bags?” I wanted to hide when the heels of a few shoes started popping through the bag. The look the guy gave me and the head shake said it all. He stopped short of making any more comments when I delivered my death stare. Did I learn? No. I did the same thing two more times. At the moment I have forty 50-gallon bags stuffed and filling the floor of one room. I just keep the door closed until I get around to getting someone to pick it up for me.
Please be careful and don’t overdo it. You’re so smart to take breaks. I am sure you feel so great with all the progress you are making; it’s almost as if I could feel the air flowing through the house more when I started getting rid of things. I wish you the best with it. You keep us all smiling with your posts.
40 50gal bags? Omg you should open a thrift store
And that was closet de-cluttering step 3. I’m the one that packs everything in closets and then keeps the door closed so no one finds out that I swooped into all the stores and bought everything in sight.
Tamara-the struggle is real!! Good news is what the end result will be! When you go to sleep envision your house the way you want it to be. It can be very calming. English Rose; I never slept better than when my son was in jail. I knew where he was and he was temporarily not my problem. Enjoy this break, you NEED it!! I have 4 days off next weekend-my plan is to clean up my front room that is now a catch all! I have the paint, goal is to end up with an organized, clean, freshly painted room. Love you guys!!
Got tired of all the heavy lifting, so I started sorting drawers. I have clothes from current size to five sizes below, Purging so much I might even be able to find an actual bra that fits now. I found some really cute summmer pjs with the tags still on them in my current size. I don’t recall buy them, I have gone through one dresser and some things laying around on the floor and have another bag, The bags are SUPER HEAVY. Time to clean the chest and put the emptish drawer back in, My bed is covered with mostly clean clothes. Once I empty all three chests of drawers and clean the room up and get a humidifier in there, I will sort all the clean clothes back in.
See Mark? These are the things I have to do myself. I mean I don’t want them to make the decisions about things like the handcuffs. I tossed them by the way, Those days are long gone. 🙁
Those days aren’t long gone, TT. One your house is in order you won’t believe how much easier the rest of your life will fall into order.
Wait… you actually put clothes in your drawers and they are sorted by size?
I am getting there. I’m throwing away pretty much everything that isn’t my current size. I have five drawers an a wardrobe to get though tomorrow. #SanityGoals
I’ve bought little container for my drawers and now each piece of underwear is in it’s little box 😀 In this way the order is maintained with literally no work!
Wait…you threw your handcuffs away??
You are the cats meow.
Could’ve hung from the top of a frame with a black velvet ribbon, wall art.
You can always buy new handcuffs.
Good for you, Tamara!! It’s so hard to get motivated when the task is overwhelming. Good for you that you have a plan and you’ve made a start. My family has hoarding tendancies — not the gross kind like on TV, but definitely way too much stuff and too many things that aren’t fixed in the house, so I know something about what you’re dealing with. I have some things I keep up with well, like the dishwasher, but the junk mail piles up like crazy and there’s just clutter everywhere. Couches covered with jackets, backpacks, and mail. As I’m typing this, there is a pile of Christmas stuff sitting in front of me waiting to be boxed up and moved to the basement. To my right are gifts that used to be under the tree and still haven’t found a home, so they are just kind of piled up next to the chair waiting for each of us to claim them. Meanwhile, everyone in my family is on our computers. That’s a huge part of the problem… we all live online now and we don’t care about the house. When I should be cleaning, I’m usually watching Bravo or on here reading and commenting about it. Ha ha.
On the positive side, I just got home from a Trivia Night to raise money for our church youth group. It was a fun time. We brought snacks for the table, bought more from the teens, and then they auctioned off the rest. I came home with a bag of egg rolls. Huge Cambodian community near us and the egg rolls are homemade. The trivia questions were mostly TV, books, and movies, so perfect for someone sedentary like me! One of my favorite nights of the year.
Tonight I’m doing a Gone Country marathon on YouTube starring my boyfriend John Rich.
Also Better Late Than Never is great. It’s on NBC as well as Hulu and it’s like the housewives without the screaming a petty drama. Those guys are hilarious.
OMG! Thanks for reminding me about better Late Than Never. I LOVE THAT SHOW but I can’t DVR it because too many crap shows are on right now.
In fact, I really need to recap something tonight.
Better late than never has everything we ever need from
A reality show IMO
Chiming in with the 100 percent love for Better Late Than Never. Not many reality shows I can watch with my 76 year old dad, but we discovered Season 1 over the Christmas holiday.
No offense to Terry, or George for that matter (I’ve cooked many a chicken breast on a GF Grill, but he sleeps a lot)… but the fact that childhood people like Captain Kirk and the Fonz are now traveling together gives me great joy.
Love that show.
That is a GREAT show, funny, sweet, sentimental, and they have such good chemistry.
Can we please keep this post going and why am I now so personally invested in Tamara’s cleanse/purge? I am determined to go through and organize all my shit-I have been living alone for a year and a half and really need to “own my shit”. I think we all find it easier to fix someone else hence (yes I said hence) our fascination with the Housewives!! Let’s all try to do better, and be better. Tamara you’re a fucking inspiration. The train has left the station!!
I’m not motivated at all to resolve my messes. My DVR gifted me with Season 1 Jersey Shore earlier this week so I’m doing a fabulous impression of a sloth this evening.
You should be fine if don’t do it for years. lol. I was motivated by a beach rental someone sent me that was reasonable rent. For a permanent move. I need to be READY to go ASAP for the next opportunity.
I’ve also taken a shower and washed my hair two days in a row. It turns out that if yo work hard, you sweat and that is a big motivator to bath. Also I have a stack of clean jammies. There are some rewards to this cleaning stuff!
YAY FOR CLEAN JAMMIES!
You are ready for award shows, IMHO.
A fabulous beach rental might do the trick. I’m over winter and the month of January. Hmmmm. Nope, Jersey Shore still owns me. What is this shower you speak of?
You have no idea how long it’s been, until yesterday. I’m trying to drink coffee more. It seems to help get me in gear. Let’s all get ourselves together this year. Dom’t make me be clean and organized all by myself.
I am currently not following the plan as it is two am and I am still up.I need to get up earlier than usual tomorrow and get back to cleaning.
Fingers crossed that you managed to get some sleep last night TT and that today you’re back at it. I’m staring at a pile of clothes that has been staring back at me for 6 weeks. If everyone here is going to get it together, I’ll take a stab at it too!
Does this mean you are not moving to Missouri? Hard to believe you would pass up MO for the beach.
I’m still totally down with the antisocial old lady commune plan. But nobody is sending me pictures of that yet.
I agree. And there is always some difficult hurdle that gets you behind in the first place then continues to work against you until you hit back. In my case I needed 3 joint replacements (including shoulders) after an accident and every little thing was a huge effort to get done. Can’t believe most things are now possible at a much quicker rate. Looking back, I was in the darklands. Now my house is what I want instead of just a space to exist in. As you say, a real reward!
I’ve another Tree Guy, they are all called The Tree Guy, coming out early for another estimate to take down five trees. One tree came down two weeks ago and took out a small out building. I wanted the building gone but what a mess.
It’s exspensive, might be drinking pine needle tea and chewing on bark for a year.
A month ago today, we lost our only child. My 22 yr old daughter, I walked in her room to wake her up and found her. My heart was pounding so that I couldn’t even tell the 911 operator if she had a pulse. I couldn’t distinguish my own pounding pulse from what I hoped was hers. I did cpr until the paramedics arrived and then watched them work on her for 25 min, to no avail. We have no idea why. They are doing an autopsy but won’t release results for at least 3 months.
I would’ve never believed someone could experience this level of pain and actually survive it. I can very much relate to those who’ve spoken about being stationary, having zero motivation, and not getting anything accomplished. I feel almost paralyzed with grief and lack of motivation, or frankly, not giving a shit. I’m practically glued to this chair where I watch tv or waste time online-anything to try and distract myself, rather unsuccessfully. I sleep every other day or so, and then throw in a full day of sleeping. If I lie down without being near total exhaustion, my mind starts a reel of that morning again, and all the what if’s or why’s, on repeat. I feel half crazy at times. We were so close and spent so much time together that there’s this huge hole not only in my heart, but my everyday life as well. I know at some point I’ll have to invent or discover some kind of “new normal”-I just can’t picture how or when that might be. It’s hard to imagine ever enjoying anything again. Logically, I know I’m certainly not the first to have this or even worse things happen, but I can’t just get over myself or out of my own head to figure out how to even start. I’m not even sure why I’m writing this
I am glad you felt you could write what you are feeling on here because so many people care about each other.
I am at a loss for words because there are no words to begin to convey how very sorry I am. I cannot begin to imagine your grief and loss.
It had to be so difficult to even sit and try to write about what happened. Thank you for reaching out and trusting us with your feelings.
Find a therapist. Even that may seem overwhelming, but you need help processing this.
I agree with NAA, please seek out professional help. You don’t need to handle this on your own. It is not a sign of weakness to let others help you. Your posting on here is a first step. We are here to listen.
A living nightmare, I am so incredibly sorry. the idea that you can even put one foot in front of the other is admirable. One step at a time, heart’s out to you.
This sounds horrifying. There must be so many things that you are mourning (past memories, things that you hoped would happen in your daughter’s future, and each present day having to live without your child and friend). At the same time, it is probably incredibly difficult to even face those emotions, thinks about anything, and grieve. The question of why and how must be excruciating to deal with and not being able to learn the results of the autopsy for three months sounds awful. My son is an only child and so much of our lives, and our hopes for the future, and our identities as parents are tied up in him because he is our only child. What you are going through is terrible and terrifying. I have no advice, I’m not sure what to say, but I am thinking about you and I hope that your heart is able to heal, or at least begin to heal.
Take care of yourself. I’m sorry for your loss and pain. My thoughts are with you.
Ralee, so very sorry this has happened.
Your pain must be immense and consuming, again so very sorry. Hugs
Please listen to NAA, find a therapist or parents grief group . You will be with others who know your pain.
Raylee, on my lunch break at work, read your post and other responses and I’m typing through tears. People at work are wondering what’s wrong with me. I cannot imagine. Thank you for sharing with us it really does put perspective on my own personal issues.
Therapy sounds like a good step, have a friend do the leg work..have her/him find a good therapist, make the appointment and even take you to the appointments for a while, it may be too hard to drive yourself.
Stay in touch, we’re all thinking of you. you’re in my prayers.
Soo sorry your name autocorrected!
This must be terribly hard to cope with every day! I just can’t imagine losing a daughter, let alone like that. My heart goes out to you.
Oh, Ralee. My heart is breaking for you. It’s hard enough losing someone you love at any time, but to lose your daughter like you did, with no advance warning, is almost impossible to imagine. I know the numbness and feeling of paralysis you’re talking about, and right now all you can do is give yourself time. Nothing will make sense, especially not knowing what caused your child’s death. My loss was 5 months ago, and was expected, but all I could think was, “How can he be gone?” People say that you should turn to friends and loved ones, but that’s almost mentally impossible in the early days. Just getting up to go to the bathroom is an ordeal. Allow yourself to grieve and don’t put a time limit on when you think you should feel better. I’m just reaching a point of acceptance, but my circumstances were different than yours. It might also help to go to your family doctor and see if anything can be prescribed to get you through this nightmare. Even though the pain won’t go away, it can be numbed enough that you can get survive each day. I also believe going to grief support groups can help, if only for a place to be surrounded by others who know exactly what you’re going through. I am so glad you reached out on this site, and hope you keep doing that. I know all the regulars who post here are really good people and will be thinking of you. Stay as strong as you can, no matter how impossible that seems.
Ralee my deepest condolences for your loss.
1 day at a time
Since it is an open forum – can we talk about Bruno? His twitter exploded – war with Kate, cocaine accusations towards her, porn production which happens (allegedly) to be cooking in swimwear. I mean it is so crazy that I barely can understand it ?
#TeamBruno
Sure, but… isn’t he going crazy a little ? 😀
I followed the link from TT’s twatter to Bruno’s member’s only site. I’m surprised he has even 50 people willing to pay him $2/month to parade around in his underwear. I mean, he’s easy on the eyes, but that ain’t porn!
One little bit at a time. Clean up an end table, then try to appreciate it: how it looks and hopefully how you will like how that looks. Then its time for a break. You’ll do the next end table later. Small steps can be imperative, particularly if you have anxiety.
The only thing I see this is standing in the way is if you get cold feet.
Don’t be embarrassed.
Depression is a disease.
The challenge will be keeping it that way when done.
Ralee, it is posts like yours that bring us back to reality and help us put things in perspective. We may have a messy house or difficulty going out in public, but those problems pale in comparison to the pain a parent must feel when losing a child. My heart goes out to you – and anyone who has suffered the loss of a child. Losing one of my kids is one of my greatest fears, and I can’t imagine how paralyzing it must be. I hope you get answers soon. And, although it may not be much comfort, please do know that she is in a better place where she is safe and happy and not feeling any pain. She is with you, in your heart, and her memories will live on forever through you until you can be united in heaven. You may not know it yet, but this tragedy will somehow add to your purpose here on earth – whether it be to help solve a medical mystery, or to unite others who share your grief, or possibly something else. Dig deep inside of you and be strong so you can go forth and make the most of each day, so your daughter’s death isn’t in vain. I truly hope for the best for you and your family, and I hope you can muster the willpower to keep moving forward with your lives and I hope you someday find peace.
T. so glad to hear that you are thinking of moving near the water. I too have anxiety and going to the water gives me so much peace and almost immediately calms me. Plus, I am sure Banjo would love being a beach dog . Great for dog walking and getting outdoors to clear your head . It’s also nice to meet other dog walkers there. I hope this works out for you in the future.
This is my something good for the week: boy kitten went to be neutered. He spent the night at the vet. He was gone for two days and one night. When he came back home, his littermate sister did not recognize him. She spent theee days growling at him and hissing at him. She did not want to get close enough to smell him or play with him. He kept trying to play with her, lie down with her, or snuggle her, and she would hiss and run away. Yesterday, she began to figure out who he was and today they, and the dog, are all sleeping together in a snuggle cuddle pet pile. The kittens sleep with their arms around each other’s necks so it looks like they are hugging each other tightly in their sleep.
I’m going to abbreviate this post but Amy your post made me want to share my cat story. The story may be too long but just know there quite a bit I’m leaving out!
Awwh! We have litter mates, both boys, Audie and Murphy, they preen, play, fight and snuggle. Audie is our resident hunter, he’s a lean mean rodent killing machine. Murphy can kill, seen him do it but he’s a bit more on the lazy side.
I never cared for (code for I hated cats!) and hadn’t ever coexisted with a cat until I moved out onto the high desert and mice were invading and damaging our house! One mouse had babies in my linen closet and ate the corner off one if my grandmother’s tablecloth! Ugh!!! Babies!!! It was horrible!
That broke me. After multiple phone calls to all my gf’s asking advice on how to get rid if mice, they all told me to get a cat. I finally gave in and adopted one. She tried to kill me on the drive home, escaped her box and proceeded to climb/claw all over me while driving. I had to stop at a gas station, call my husband to come get that cat! DH always had cats until me and I REALLY DIDN’T WANT A CAT! (Luv my dogs!) I was traumatized!
Somehow Sugar, “Sug” is what I called her, cleared out all resident mice inside and out, gophers, prairie dogs etc…and she would always bring them to a door if not inside to prove her prowess..
She also figured she was my cat and snuggled, laid on, “talked” to me. My family watched our “relationship” grow and teased us both…I fell in love with her. She passed away in my arms. (Wouldn’t have had it any other way) I can now say I never want to live without a cat, ever again!
After she passed we wound up with 2 , they were litter mates and I couldn’t say no. They were kittens, Sug was mature when we got her. It was fun watching them grow!
Maybe you can inspire me since I’ve been in that same rut for the past year or two. I’ve most likely been depressed my whole life but it was always manageable and often there were long periods between the bouts. However, four years ago, immediately after returning to a lovely town on the central CA coast, the rug was abruptly yanked out from under me and I haven’t been able to recover. At some point in the last couple of years I began to lose interest in cleaning and organizing, although at times I’d start to get organized, I never actually fully followed through. So, it’s been ongoing and I hate myself for it. I can definitely relate to your situation Tamara and I wish you success in achieving your goal.
I have been going through same thing. Hard to deal with..emerging from it. Depression and joint issues left me lethargic.
Keep on cleaning… I am.
Some of these stories make me feel super inappropriate posting anything happy, so I won’t. I don’t post much anymore because I’ve come to hate everything on Bravo. I’m an old lady now hooked on Viceland. Feel free to tell me how pathetic that is, I don’t care. I never caught Drag Race much but clearly need to because if you haven’t seen the Trixie whats-her-face and Katya show, I highly recommend it. UNHhhhh. Hamilton’s Pharmacopeia, It’s Suppertime, some other stuff I can’t think of right now but anyhooo…Vice. It’s my new Bravo. God, this is boring to type. Apologies to anyone reading it.
Clutter is not allowed in my house. I don’t even have nail holes in the walls. True story. Good luck on the cleaning. I’d offer to help but that would be weird. I want to sell my house this spring, fingers crossed, and move to the sticks. All my good neighbors moved away to be replaced by Yankees and Former Floridian Yankees. No offense to any yankess that don’t enjoy never acknowledging anyone’s presence, being unemployed with a constant stream of traffic to and from your house, playing loud music, or having screaming obscenity-laden arguments with one of the 25 people that moved into your $300k house that your mother clearly bought, and who is now kept in the basement. Whew. Sorry about the rant. Anybody want to buy a house?
Old Lady too, I really enjoy Viceland.
Sent TT a crazy email when I first discovered it a few years ago. Viceland was weirder back then.
I want happy stories or more entertaining ones from Mark.
For the love of God, Sam. PLEASE POST HAPPY STORIES. It’s a dreary rainy day and I am still sorting through clothes. Ironically, I am still in my PJs. I really need to go to Home Depot and get the humidifier. And some other stuff I have already forgotten.
Order your humidifier from Amazon. It will be there by Thursday and you can instantly check something off your list.
An aside-my gas stove began giving me trouble-the flames were bright orange and erratic instead of blue. I paid the guy to come out and look at it and it took a while before he realized my new humidifier was causing it! Crazy, cost me $100 to learn I can only run my humidifier in the bedroom with the door closed. So, be aware if you have a gas stove. Don’t waste your money on a repairman!
I love reading these open forums. The comments posted over the holidays gave me a lot of joy, reading about everyone’s holiday plans and, especially, the great food you all were preparing or eating. I got hungry reading all the posts!
I started reading this website in Fall 2016, before the previous seasons of RHOA and RHOBH started. It was a pleasant surprise last summer to see recaps of Big Brother and to know that Ms.Tattles is also a fan of that show.
I despise housecleaning, but these posts are giving me some motivation to clean my apartment. It really is a freeing feeling when my place is all picked up and clean.
I have been reading this site for a while, but this is the first time I have commented. The post really hit home with me. Tamara, I just want to tell you thank you for being so completely honest and out there with what you are willing to write. It’s good to know I am not alone with this stuff. You have no idea how much you are helping people. Your funny posts crack me up, too.
I went through a rough period that lasted years; I will not go into the details because this thread is already depressing enough and the “why” doesn’t really matter at this point anyway. But suffice it to say I find myself in the same position as many of you. I am trying to dig myself out, both literally and figuratively, and this post has really inspired me. I just have so. much. stuff. But if y’all can do it, I can too! I am posting this here because, often, saying it publicly makes it real. So now I am accountable to actually do it. About a year ago, I started forcing myself to get out an be more social again, and that has been really helpful too. I just can’t let these new friends see my house! So that is my vow here – we will all do this purge of “stuff” together, and I will get my house into a condition where I feel comfortable having people over again. I used to love to entertain!
And now onto something positive. As someone said above, anyone who has not seen “Better Late than Never” should watch it immediately. Good, lighthearted humor. Also, we are just about through January – the most depressing month of the year. Three more days! February still has crap weather, but at least the days are getting longer and the crocus, camellias, and daffodils start blooming in February here. Spring is on the way!
Ha! I’m glad to hear I am inspiring Spring Cleaning amongst my Shut-in sister hood. I filled two of the largest size trashbags they make watching Better Late Than Never. For some reason they added a couple of episodes of season ONE and I watched two of them while sorting clothes. I am so ready to dig out that am not even doing the thing where I can’t throw things away because I paid a lot for them. My new criteria is, is it my current size and does it look nice on someone of my size. I didn’t quite get finished because I went out into THE WORLD and bought a dehumidifier..TWO HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS! Some outlet covers and a new toilet seat. Then I went to Publix and bought cabbage and onions and peppers for Dolly Parton soup which I will be eating for the next seven days or until it runs out and some smart water because the new rule is no booze until the house is clean and all of this cleaning and soup eating might know off a pound or two.
Yes but did you buy an air duct cover with a deflector?
I did think about it, but then I remembered that I tried to put the old one up flipped around and the holes didn’t line and I don’t have a drill. Then I looked at stoves and refrigerators and had sticker shock and fled.
I also tried to buy light bulbs but I got pissed at Obama and went home.
Also the dehumidifier is to heavy for me to carry in. That is tomorrow’s puzzle to figure out.
I need to look up this soup!! I’ve never heard of it! I feel you on the bulbs, I got frustrated at Lowe’s the other day trying to get brighter ones for my bathroom (there are no windows in this bathroom) I ended up with some a second trip in, but I do not know how I made the decision or what kind they are, but they ended up working out. I now have vanity lights that resemble Erika Jaynes lol
I just posted the soup thing here.
http://tamaratattles.com/2018/01/27/if-i-am-spring-cleaning-does-that-mean-its-spring/#comment-462434
Ralee-my heart goes out to you-please keep us posted and check in -people really do care. Tamara thank you for giving me that boost I need to get going on my house!! I used to (when I was married and had a life) plan a party just because I knew it would force us to get the house clean and projects completed!! Any inspiration is a good inspiration!!
First, I feel ya TT on the inertia that settles in. Happened to me. But Happy News – found out over Christmas that my darling 38 year old stepdaughter is pregnant and expecting a girl at the end of June. She and our son-in-law are in a great place financially and so very good with my son’s kids that I am glad they will be graced with their own. ALSO, my husband is taking me to Germany and Eastern Europe for a few weeks this summer. Incentive for losing weight! My latest housekeeper quit on me (the cats had brought in a dead mouse that she thought was a rat) so I have been learning why I hire this shit out again. The positive is that I can get things exactly like I want them, point to the work that got them that way and say “see? This is what I am paying for.”
So you’re saying you want to do the Dolly Parton diet with me this week, then. LOL.
Just found a $20 in a pair of old jeans!! Check your pockets before you toss anything!!
Actually, TT, it sounds like you are making a big stride forward. Think of it this way: at least you are not too ashamed let folks set foot inside your home. If I could afford pro cleaners, might be willing to say hell with it and swallow the embarassment. But, for now, my place looks like all sorts of 21st Century Miss Havisham craziness. Chronic back pain and depression can wreak havoc even on a 1BR apartment…
Congrats, though, for your happy (and aspirational) news!
Oh trust and believe I am humiliated. But I am not worried about the people coming, though it will still be the topic of conversation at next years Thanksgiving.
I can identify with all y’all except Ralee. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
My clutter has clutter. There are boxes unopened in my basement from 5 years ago when I had to move abruptly. I also have unopened boxes from the move prior to that. But what really takes the came are 3 boxes I haven’t opened in 26 years.
The most embarrassing is my oversized 2 at garage is filled with fossils, minerals and pretty rocks I’ve found over the years. I actually moved them all from my old place!
In fact, I never put away the 2016 Christmas stuff, it stayed out in the basement until this past Christmas.
I, too, an planning on moving soon. I’ll be moving into my parents house since they’ve both died in the past year. That’s going to be a major problem for me as it’s filled with stuff I can’t bear to part with. My Mom once suggested I take a picture of things I love before getting did of it.
I dread loading everything up and the multiple trips it’s going to take hauling it to the Goodwill. Here in St. Louis, various charities (St. Vincent de Paul & Disabled American vets) will come by and pick up your donations for free. Plus you can write some of it off on your taxes. I use to have them come every month. I had a box that I’d toss stuff in throughout the month so I always had something to put out.
I’ve finally came to the conclusion my big garage sale is NOT going to happen. With TT bringing up this topic and y’all making the effort, I too am going to do my damndest to dig out of this crap trap I live in.
Thank-you T for inspiring me to get off my ass and get started. I’d love to see follow up posts so we can keep each other motivated. (I apologize for my rambling post. And if this double posts I’ m going to stop posting again for awhile)
Carp (no pun intended), I wanted to ask you TT, what is Dolly Parton soup and how do you make it?
It was a cold dreary day yesterday, I had bought some spicy V-8 that I knew I was not going to drink and it reminded me of The Dolly Parton diet. So I decided to make the cabbage soup that goes with it. On the diet you eat it every day for seven days.It’s basically a cabbage soup. I like the soup basically these are the ingredients.
1 head of Cabbage chopped (depending on the size of your pot, you can hold back some and add after the first half starts to simmer.
1 onion, or 2 chopped
16 to 28 ounces canned crushed or whole tomatoes, or fresh tomatoes (Ideally I use Whole Foods diced tomatoes with jalepenos but since WF moved, I am back to using Rotel. I use two cans. )
2 green bell peppers (I use the organic sweet baby peppers)
1 stalk to 1 bunch of celery (Skipped this)
1package Lipton Onion Soup mix
Black pepper to taste ( I add a bunch of Tumeric and chopped garlic) You don’t need salt with the broth and the onion mix
A bottle of V-8 and a thingy of Chicken or beef broth (I use organic chicken)
Anyway, you eat the soup every day, as much as you can. The first three days or so it is breakfast lunch and dinner. But you eat the soup every day. DRINK TONS OF WATER. I think it used to be 8 glasses a day. In addtion…
Day 1 Only fruit,No bananas watermelon and cantaloupe preferred.
Day 2 Vegetables no beans or corn This is baked potato day.
Day 3 Both fruit and veggies NO banana
Day 4 Banana and skim milk no fruit or veggies
Day 5 Small steak ( or skinless chicken of fish)
Day 6 Same as five but with veggies
Dat 7 Brown rice only
Eat all the soup you can each day, Drink at least eight glasses of water each day, It was like the first Cleanse of the 1980s. There is no sugar and very little fat.
I am not really going to be strict on it, I am going to have sugar in and half and half in my coffee. I am just giving my liver a break.
It sounds delicious! And good for you. Thanks. I’m going to give it a try.
I should warn you most people hate the soup. Don’t over cook it. It is best to keep the cabbage a bit crisp. Then reheat though the week one days worth at a time so the cabbage doesn’t get too soft.
I want to share something sort of happy and funny that motivates me to snap to it and purge those closets. When my son moved out of the house, it was a wheepy, drippy, sniffley mama-trauma, because it has been just me and my son from the time he was 11 months old. But, I was finally able to clean his room. It was like a treasure hunt. I found $87.00 in change all over the floor. Quarters, dimes, nickels and a boatload of pennies. It obviously fell out of his pockets daily and he just never picked it up. Then I found a $20.00 bill stuck between his mattress and the wall. And the final discovery was also on the floor, buried under a pile of books. It was a birthday card from 10 years ago with a $100.00 bill inside. When I finished cleaning, the debate began. It was that old debate between the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other shoulder. Do I tell him about the money that I put in his small, wood and brass treasure chest? Or do I not? Hmmmm … of course I told him. Then I suggested that he find a big jar to start emptying his change into when he gets home every day.
I have a question. Have you remedied the situation causing the mildew problem? Also, I have a dehumidifier in my basement. It has a hose that goes to a drain in the floor. How do you route one in a room without a drain?
Finally, don’t forget that dehumidifiers have filters that need to be maintained, you can’t just shut the door and forget it.
:: OCD in overdrive ::
You have one that is completely different from mine. The one I have collects the water in a bin that’s part of the dehumidifier. It shuts off when it gets full. It doesn’t have filters. So that would work in a room without a drain. It works really well. I got it at Lowe’s. But Tamara is right. The bloody thing is really heavy. My son took care of the heavy lifting. It does have wheels which help once you get it inside and out of the box. I got those “Damp Rid” bags that I mentioned earlier at Lowe’s too. They work really well, especially in closets. And they have a nice smell that gets rid of the mildewy odor. I’ve seen them at Bed, Bath and Beyond too. One bag is enough to collect the water in one 16 by 16 room for most of the summer, about 3 months or so.
I finally ditched the boot! I just have to keep it wrapped so that’s good news!
I, too, am cleaning and trying to catch up from being useless. I know this sounds silly, but I have a list of things that I know work to keep my mood up. Although, there are those times I F-U to the list and wallow. But I’ve noticed if I start to feel down and lazy and let my surroundings go, the cycle continues. So, I’ve made sure to make my bed as soon as I get up, open all the curtains, actually eat breakfast, take some vitamins, drink water all day, micro clean, wash my face, put real clothes on, maybe even do something with my hair and makeup, etc. I know most people don’t need a list for these things, but for some reason my brain likes being depressed so I have to take measures to fight it. It doesn’t make problems go away, but it keeps me busy and lightens my mood a little. I even painted my bathroom this weekend lol, it’s a late Christmas miracle.
Keep going TT!! I love what you are doing! You got this!
I was working in what I thought was my last clothes closet. That would leave only piles and piles and piles of mostly clean clothes I’ve never put away four months and simply piled on my bed. I was doing okay making progress and realized I needed more hangers. I have a tiny 1950s closet in the clothes room that I thought was mostly just luggage and weird crap and I thought that there would be extra hangers in there. So I open the closet, and it is full of clothes. Some with tags. I would cry if I was not so exhausted.
I’ve also twerked my back. The homeowner of the emptish house next door pulled into the driveway and I totally didn’t think to ask for help with the humidifier until she left.
I’m trying to deal with setbacks today. This is not fun or easy.
Last closest emptied of all hanging clothes.. Still have a ton of clothes left on my bed. Spent literally all day sorting clothes. 8 50 gallon bags of clothes to the curb. I fifty gallon bag of trash to the curb. Hoping to fill one or two more bags full of shit before the trash guys pick up tomrrow. Got the dehumidifier to the closet room myself. haven’t taken it out of the box yet. Would like to get the box out tomorrow.
Neither remote control is working on the TV for some reason. It’s always something.
Everything hurts. Trying to be sane and normal is hard. So is throwing away so many really cute clothes in sizes I used to wear before I just decided to live in giant man pajamas.
Just went in clothes room to clothes windows and saw I had left more clothes in the damn closet. and the top shelf of miscellany. Two more huge bags to the curb.
My father-In-law is a wise dude with tons of country sayings. I think the most applicable one here is…”How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” Make that elephant your bitch. You got this shit!
Yeah same sucks but hinni- I am impressed!! You go girl!!! Very proud of you!!
Sane sucks
WOW Tamara, That’s a lot of stuff. I’m so proud of you. I had to go through this about 7 years ago, because of divorce and selling the place. Had to literally give away a lot of pricey stuff I just couldn’t take it with me. Stuff I worked hard to buy. I’ve never had very successful yard sales. I don’t think I picked good days. I Love how you keep updating your progress with us. I think that might be helping you to keep it moving.
I still have to finish a lot of clothes, but I really must get started on the bathroom. If I walked into this bathroom at a gas station I’d drive to the next one.
I’ve got to get it to dirty residential bathroom rather than this monstrosity. OMG the trash guys are here. The driver got out to help there was so much stuff. But they took it all. I was afraid they were going to knock on the door and tell me that was too much for their truck.
For the record. This is not an easy thing to do. I’m still in the same depressed place. My living room is still covered in dog hair. There is no pay off yet, of feeling like progress is happening. As a non coffee drinker, at least on a regular basis, I am starting to see why people are so dependent on it. It is helping.
I just looked out side and seeing all those bags gone does help a little. The struggle is real. I really hope I can keep this up all week. It’s just a week, right? And then help comes.
I bought a nice clean toilet seat for what in a few days would be my nice clean bathroom. So after incurring major lung damage by Kabooming and bleaching the toilet, and struggling to get the old one off, I pulled out the shiny new one, only to determine the nuts and bolts were weird. I ended up having to go to the Internet for a tutorial.
Tutorial one starts with some guy asking his disinterested kid if he wants to watch daddy be a man. After five full minute of him talking about two boys that pee everywhere but in the toilet, we finally arrive in the bathroom where I discover that he was not in fact installing the same seat that I have, even thought he claimed he was. To be fair, the fifteen minute tutoriual, was about installing three toilets. I’ve had enought bathroom talk and go to …
Video #2 A women whose video was less than two minutes long and got to my issue within the first fifteen second. I reek of bleach and need a cleaning break. So I’m off to recap something and possibly eat something but I admit, cleaning the bathroom really kills the appetite. I will never get the smell of bleach out of my nose.
Tamara’s Tip; There are all kinds of toilet seats at home depot. I change mine out pretty regularly and always buy the cheapest one. This time I paid like $8 more for one that claes to be easy clean and change. It was totally worth it. While the changing part took a bit of explaination, The seat itself has a much shinier and smoother surface for easy cleaning. For the cleaning lady I am about to hire once I get this place looking like a house again.
Progress….
Just bleached the HELL out of my bathroom-’bout passed out but that bitch is CLEAN now. Bleach is the cheapest, best cleaner ever. Can’t wait to finish my insane third shift gig and get a few days off-I hope I can follow through and actually redo my front room. Was my old mans music room but he’s been gone 18 months time to make it mine. Life is hard y’all
This thread is giving me life.
So a couple of weeks ago, my “U” key broke on my laptop. I finally ordered a new one and installed it last night. By that time I was having many other keys on the fritz and things were getting worse. I went to the computer guy and asked him if he could clean under my U key. He said since other nearby keys were fritzing out I needed to replace my keyboard. He found me a replacement for $200. I told him I really thought it just needed a cleaning. He blew some compressed air on it and VOILA good as new. Prolly just a bit of dog hair like the rest of this shit hole.
Today was a BEAUTIFUL day sunny and 57 felt more like mid 60s. I road around with the sunroof open. Then I spent at least an hour, probably more like an hour and a half in TARGET. I haven’t been there in years. $288 later I have all new everything for my bathroom. Shower curtain, liner, new shower hooks that close all the way because the other ones always fall off. New towels, new bath mat. several types of bathroom cleaners, a new baking pan, a new mop, more cleaning supplies, TIDE PODS! to take to the fluff and fold because my clothes came back still dirtish but folded, two bags of organic coffee some more grocery stuff, shelf lining paper… electric outlet adapter and assorted other things to keep this place looking in top shape.
IT WAS SO MUCH fun and felt like me before THE CRAZY came.
Then I began to fall apart, my right ankle is swollen up like a cantelope and my back is a hot mess. I am exhausted and as I was typing this the fluff and fold lady called round two of laundry is ready and I have not put away round one yet because I purged everywhere first.
I am so thrilled that my laptop was an easy fix and that I have all the stuff to make a brand new clean bathroom! I used to love redoing a room, and this one will be a small but easy one.
Today has been a good day. Now I must limp waddle to the Fluff and Fold for more clothes. I’m a it out of commish but I guess I could sort and put away clothes between now and RHONJ.
I AM DIGGING MY FAT DEPRESSED ASS OUT OF THE WHOLE AND MAKING PROGRESS! (I blame not drinking for this odd behavior.)
I am still plugging along with the cleaning. I am just trying to finish my bedroom today because it needs to be the cleanest because I don’t like people in there. I don’t like people in my house at all, but if you are going in the, we better be about to have sex. 🙂
One of the reasons my house is so dirty, other than the whole not cleaning thing, is my air ducts are filthy and spew out dust all day. I did change the filter and bought a spare and once this nightmare is over I am calling to get my ducts clean. Wherever one calls for that shit.
I found an old writing piece from back when I used to write, like for real with forethought and editing and such. It was a personal narrative of a writer’s journal contest. SO EMBARRASSING, but the editor took the time to give a lovely critique. These are the things I don’t want in my house if I drop dead and the relatived come in to pillage through my life. 🙂
HOLY SHIT! I THOUGHT IT WAS WEDNESDAY! I ONLY HAVE ONE DAY LEFT AFTER TODAY! OMG! GOTTA GO!
So great you have kept it up! Having the new fittings in the bathroom will be fantastic!! Should make it easier to clean in future too. Nothing worse than a run down looking bathroom to make you feel you are in a dump instead of a house. You must be really happy having done everything you described – and all.. by.. yourself, too. Cleaning seems so, so much easier if more than one doing it at the same time. Any times I have had a cleaning lady, after injuries, etc, I cleaned along with them and it was like turbo cleaning what we could get done – compared with just me on my own. I also relate to your comment about what would people think if someone came to sift through your things that need sorting. Awful thought, that I also have from time to time!!
So tomorrow is SUPPOSED to be D Day. It’s still not clear who if anyone is actually coming because communication is difficult do to … um.. my hearing when it comes to a heavy foreign accent. I tried email and that is not much better. I presume SOMEONE or a few SOMEONES will come tomorrow. Or not.
Either way, it is Friday and though I made tremendous progress, it’s not nearly enough. I got up at 9 am today to get back to work and have been sitting here paralyzed not knowing what to do next. Now I have to run to the bank so I will have money to pay people if they come.
I’m sort of freaking out.
They’ll come. Your house will be refreshed, as will you. Try to focus on what you’ve accomplished instead of what you haven’t. Easier said than done, I know. I am always freaking myself out with what I haven’t done and, for me at least, that leads to the paralysis you’re describing.
This is a more fascinating saga than the RH these days. 😉 That is no shade; I mean it. I love “makeovers.”
A side note: Loved the funny shoutout to Lisa Rinna on Will & Grace this week. Check it out if you missed it.
I got a new light fixture to hang over my kitchen table for Xmas. So I decided we need to paint before it gets hung….yikes, everything has to come of the walls, out of furniture, get cleaned, sorted, trashed etc. I feel your struggle, all I was able to do yesterday was pick up some paint. Today I took a few things of the wall, one cover over heat vent. Everything is gross, dusty, greasy, not sure where to put everything so I can put things back where they belong, freaking about the entertainment center that is jam packed with crap we’ve hidden in there for YEARS when we “cleanup.”
K, sat for 10 minutes going to get on a chair and pull down the chachkis on top of my cabinets, yuck they’re going to be gross!
Went to the bank to get money. Three people ARE coming tomorrow. Picked up the last of the fluff in fold, AKA drop off number three around 120 lbs total weight. Bought a clean living room rug, a clean dining room rug, Four new pillows. a patio cushion to use on one end of the couch until the house is clean enough to have a couch delivered. New mattress cover, FINALLY found new kitchen curtains (I keep saying I could make a ton of money selling short curtains, not all windows can take a 82 in curtain) One set of cheap cotton white pillow cases for under cases. It was the last pack, those too hare hard to find. New dish towels and pot holers and dish drying mats, some off brand Dry Rid buckets…
This spring cleaning shit is getting expensive. Still have not cleaned a thing today.
Tick Tock… Tick… Tock…
Is it too much to be expecting a blow by blow account tomorrow?
My OCD ass makes lists. Not because I forget things, but because of the sheer satisfaction of scratching items off. I have been known to go and list an item I’ve already finished and then scratch it off for the joy of it.
Both the upside and downside of OCD is that your pantry is alphabetized and your closets are color coded in their order on the spectrum.
This is normal, right?
How would you like an all expense paid trip to the ghetto? It’s warm here.
The details are going to be gory. I will have to DM or email you those parts for potential legal reasons ….self incrimination…
100% this. Only way I can find anything!
I have ended the last two days in tears. I am so not ready for them to arrive. I did the best I could. But if I could do all this, I would not be living like this. I did get my bedroom clean so all they need to do is mop and dust. I plan on hiding in there when I am not screaming at them. I’m ill as a hornet.
Good plan! You’ll feel so much better when your house is shining and clean! I hope everything goes smooth for you tomorrow.
You have done so much in so little time! Please don’t stop! You’re motivating me!
I tackled 1/100th of what I wanted to tackle today, I see do a difference, my hands are cracking! The kitchen looks like a bomb went off, I still need to clean the tops of my cabinets. The “decorative” items off the tops of cabinets took hand wash, dish wash then hand wash again to clean the grime off (large pieces of pottery for the most part. Took all the switch plate covers off, washed…etc. Pulled out old nails and screws from previous wall decor, curtains.
You’re doing great Tamara! You got me started on the easiest area in my house and it’s gross. Please keep us posted on your progress, I have sooo much to do!
I’m headed back to work tomorrow so all work on hold until Wednesday next week and I usually am useless on Wednesday’s. Gonna try hard to finish cleaning and tape next Wed so I can paint on Thursday/Friday!
Oh, washed my bedding, gotta go make my bed before I crash!!!
I’m on the edge of my seat, waiting to here how the day with the cleaning team goes. I actually got up and changed my sheets and did some laundry in anticipation of tomorrow’s Tamara’s Clean House. This is exciting! xo for real.
*hear*
I am excited to hear about the cleaning crew. I will be nervous, too, but I trust that it will work out very well,faith a great result.
I should be starting a similar effort here, but I did go out in my patio and tackle a very much too large shefflera that started on the dirt edge of my area when a runner crept under the fence from a REALLY big one that is over two stories high.
I had a bunch of branches popped off and even got them into one of our dumpsters, so I felt good about that.
But so much needs doing here..
So, I will be waiting with anticipation for the next updates.
You have done a smashing job in such a short time. Be proud. When the sense of freaking out starts crawling up your spine like a bunch of ants heading to your brain, breathe, breathe, breathe. If you feel embarrassed to have these people in your home, tilt your nose up slightly with that air of royalty about you that you deserve, turn all business- like and tell them in cheery tones “I’m Phyllis Snodgrass, or any made up name. Well enough with the introductions. Chop chop, let’s get to it. I’ve been hired by the owners to be here for only x number of hours so we’d best be getting on shall we”. When all is done tell them “my clients will be quite pleased indeed with what you’ve accomplished. Thank you”. Don’t let it stress you. YOU have left the house so to speak. You can add in a little “this is how my clients found it when they bought it.” Let it just roll off your tongue. You, YOU deserve an award for all the work you’ve done. Just focus on how great it’s going to be after they’re gone. So a bottle of champsgne is in order. I must thank you because your words have gotten me to weed through some of the hidden clutter of clothes and shoes and paperwork behind doors little by little. Now, everytime I walk past something in the house, I open the door or closet and pull a few things out at a time. You’ve inspired me. I physically can’t handle too much at a time.
Unfortunately, one of them is related by marriage so I will be hearing about this at every Thanksgiving for the rest of my life. But I am out of options.
Your nom de guerre should be Helen Von Patterson Patton.
Woke up this morning with serious stomach pain. I am hoping it is gas. I don’t usually get gas. I also bought some smoked ribs a really good rib place that were gummy and not worth the calories so I tossed them out. Maybe something was wrong with them? I just hope it is not my mess floating around in my belly, something I’ve been worried about since my surgery.
I also can’t stop sneezing because ironically, I am allergic to dust. As long as it is just laying there, it’s not an issue but when I actually dust I sneeze my head off for hours. They will be here in two hours and I really need to get my shit together.
I don’t want to do this, but I am sure it will be worth it. I am trying to keep expectations low. I’m paying a very high hourly rate though so I am going to have to keep them moving.
Good luck today with the cleaning crew. You and the other commentators are helping me on my journey. I discovered a brand new shower curtain and liner I bought in July that I haven’t put up. So that’s job #1 today. I’ve also vowed to take a shower every day. I know for most “normal” folks it’s a no brainer. But when depression is kicking your ass, it’s like why bother.
I’m thrilled we’re keeping this post alive. I check it every day.
T, please update us on how today went. We’re ALL rooting for you and each other. Which is cooler than shit.
So every few minutes, I scream with stomach cramps. Banjo is concerned. This is not going to go well. I hope whatever this is passes before they get here.
It’s got to be gas, right? I never get gas. Is there something in the kitchen I can take, like baking soda or something? This is PAINFUL.
Do you keep your Xanax in the kitchen? Your anxiety is manifesting itself physically. I can relate.
If you want to stay scarce while they’re there, take Banjo out in the yard and brush the holy crap out of him. It will keep him from immediately molting all over your clean house.
FUCK THEY ARE HERE!
Thank you for this Tamara! I started. Three bags of clothes down. And some errands. Woo boo!
I am not someone who gets embarrassed easily but this is bad. At least most of the disparaging remarks are happening in Portugese.
WHAT IS HAPPENING? Lord, I can’t stand the suspense!
You are surviving this! Thanks for the updates
We have about 45 minutes left before I run out of money. And they are not in the kitchen yet,
The kitchen is by far the worst room in the house. And they waited until last. we are over budget as of 15 minutes ago. I am exhausted. WHEN WILL THIS HELL END?
Let them do the kitchen. Damn the torpedos, full speed ahead.
I HAVE A CLEAN HOUSE. I AM SO EXCITED (AND EXHAUSTED) I have new rugs down in my living room dining room and all new bathroom stuff! YAY!
IT IS OVER, and so worth every penny. Also the Brazilian couple is coming back every Friday. So hopefully, I will continue to have a clean house.
It’s a new day for 2018. I think I will cry now. Mission Accomplished. Next on the list is the car.
And then new appliances for the kitchen.
And then tackle the crawl space moisture problem.
YAY FOR BEING LESS CRAZY. If I wasn’t so exhausted I’d go buy champagne! Perhaps tomorrow. Or after I rest for a bit.
Fabulous!!!
I’m dazzled by your determination and in awe of your accomplishments. Way to go TT! You rock.
Please let us know how having a clean house effects your outlook, mood and overall satisfaction with life. I’m curious.
I have a confession to make guys, I haven’t done a damn thing to my house yet. Thank you, I feel much better getting that off my chest.
A Brazilian couple cleaned my house every two weeks when I lived in Atlanta. They were wonderful. I miss Atlanta, especially in the spring. Loved walking from my front door to the mailbox and I could smell the Gardenia bushes in bloom. A lot of my friends dreaded spring in Atlanta due to allergies, but it’s so beautiful.
Oh! and they left with the tube TV! I had no idea how the hell I was going to get rid of that. It’s been sitting in the middle of my office since 1972,
Whatever you paid extra for the kitchen, having that tv gone is probably worth it!
When I finally got a flat screen at Best Buy, I paid for Geek Sqad to set It up and remove the big heavy Sony Trinitron. So worthbit And they even moved some furniture.
So excited for you, TT! I feel like the My Pillow freak “You’re looking good! (Feeling good) I knew you would! 🙂
This has been a huge hurdle for you, the thing that was both caused by your depression and contributed to it continuing. A real vicious cycle.
So…YAY, it’s a new day!
I can now go use my movie passes I got for XMAS on the weekends without feeling like I have to stay home and clean.
I HAVE MY LIFE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!
SOFA KING HAPPY.
I can feel your exuberance from a long way away!! Go get that champagne!! Fantastic the couple will be helping out from now on.
Every Friday! So no more feeling like I have to clean every weekend. It’s the best thing ever!
Also now I can get a new couch, and replace my rusty appliances because I won’t be mortified to have them delivered!
I love this second-hand excitement! I’m genuinely feeling better as if I have accomplished something myself.
Yay!! I’m excited for you!!
Is there any place in your house to put a stackable washer/dryer? Even if it’s in a closet in the spare bedroom? Being able to keep up with your laundry without hauling it out would be nice.
Nope. Apparently in the 1950s they put the washer/dryer connections in opposite corners of the kitchen.
I think I am going to pay the Brazilians $20 a week to take the laundry home with them and bring it back the next week.
Go get some Champagne and drink it out of a coupe! Better yet, use the wrong stemware, throw your head back and laugh at the world!
I am way too tired for that. If I make it to dinner and a movie tomorrow, I will have a glass or two at dinner. 🙂
I’ve been off the sauce for this ordeal. I’m going to give it up again for Lent starting Feb 14. But I may have a bit of champs in the interim. Or not. We’ll see. I don’t really miss it and I feel a lot better without it. And my next thing is is to lose some of my depression weight by doing things and eating well.
So they called becuase they forgot the TV in the yard. They told me to cover it with a trash bag. So I did. It’s going to pour rain all day tomorrow. This thing will never work. The good news is they will not know until they get it home….
how are the stomach cramps?
The stopped about half and hour or so after they arrived. Then as soon as they left I had like three or four hard cramps. Then it didn’t happen again.I have no idea what it was. It was like my stomach was eating itself. I didn’t eat all day today until around six tonight when I had a baked sweet potato. I haven’t had any appetite really for weeks. And if I do want something as soon as I make it, I don’t like the way it takes. I even bought ribs the other night from my favorite place and they were terrible and I threw them away. Tomorrow I am going to try to go to a movie and out to eat afterward at one of my favorite restaurants. If I don’t like the she crab soup there, something is definitely wrong with my taster.
The good news is that if I am dying of something, The house is offically clean an G rated.
You recovered ok from your surgery last year, no issues? Hope its just your “taster” being testy.
I can only imagine your horror looking our the window and seeing the TV in your yard. An office where you can see the floor? Unheard of!
Congrats TT! What did you do with Banjo while they were there? I’ve wanted to hire cleaners but I don’t know what to do with my big azz dog.
He stayed out in the backyard. Thanks goodness it was a cool day. I don’t know what I will do when it rains on maid day. Put him in the crate I guess. He mostly stays in his crate anyway but the door is always open.
Such good news TT! I am so glad you are having the cleaners return weekly. I have the same — the cleaning crew is critical to my quality of life. No matter the cost. It keeps me honest — I pick up regularly before they arrive so the house never gets out of hand.
Oh, also, my dogs go crazy when they are here so we have a routine — I sit in one bedroom with them and when another bedroom is done, we move over so they can finish.
Good job, Tamara. You’re an inspiration.
I see this is an older blog, but I’ve been here most of the day. I was taken aback by this one, I had no idea you suffered from depression and anxiety, I always pictured you sipping tea with the beautiful people in a beautiful location. I’ve been here all day because I am trying to escape from everything I should be doing. It just gets overwhelming….like its to late and time has run out and if I stay here on your site I don’t have to feel the pressure of it all….then bamb I read this and reality is back. I literally have 3 days left before my rents due and I’m so short. The half I do have I got by working at my landlords bar, but he gave me all the hours he could and its a few hundred short. I lost my full time job a few weeks back and was so devastated I can barely move. I can’t leave my bed. I’m older and it is not an easy task to get a server gig or anything…. I also have a bad mark from my past…. One bad decision in all my 56 years and it is always there keeping me down…. Its been 14 years and it is still there closing so many doors. I feel so defeated. I pull all my strength together to work my shifts in the bar for the rent. I’m out of food and am smoking butts today…..I’m sooooo screwed and can’t even move. I have to get my ass down to H&R to get my taxes done but I just can’t step out the door. It is already to late and I feel paralysed by this depression and anxiety. I usually take medication but lost my medical insurance last January, but was doing good all year till I got canned for being to old and slow and I’m having problems with my memory. It was affecting my job performance and I feel like my boss kept me longer then most would have because they loved me. Sorry about this rambling, but I have no one to reach out to, it is nice to dump this all here. My family are most likely tired of my life exploding ever few years. Its about as long as I can hold it together before something overwhelms me and I crash. I can’t reach out for help anymore, I’m sick of burdening everyone I love, I’m sick of me also. I get a lot of the why do you not do this or that but I can’t anymore. I’m in that place where I feel like I’m bound, I’m so scared. I’m so sick of ending up in this space. I’m so sick of working till I can’t walk and getting no where. I’m so sick of this mind of mine….. Its been years and years. Therapist, books, groups, meds, 12 step groups, years and years and I always end up here. I’m just trying to get to 62 so I can get my SS and not have to limp around trying to make a buck.
Lol….well thanks for letting me dump here, thanks for being honest so I could be too. I’m glad you got your space cleared so you could regroup I know that feeling of a fresh start, its the best feeling there is, most people would not understand what its like.
Hi Mary Kay! Sorry for the delay in moderating your posts. Since it was your first time posting, the don’t go through until I moderate them and I was at the movies.
It was the first time I’ve gone to the movies in years. Like you I understand the whole paralyzed to leave the house thing that becomes worse when there is a deadline or great importance in doing so.
You didn’t ask for advice so I hesitate to give any. But here I go. Don’t drink. Don’t eat processed foods. Stick to any organic stuff you can afford Kroger and Publix both have store brand Organic that is reasonable now. Even Whole Foods is dropping their prices. Eat raw food and food you have to cook. Bananas and baked potatoes are filling and cheap. A can of organic beans is a meal for me (but I do fry some cornmeal in grease throw in an onion.) But the most important thing is drinking a lot of water. A LOT OF WHAT. SO MUCH WATER. lol. I’m not kidding. And the electrolyte kind works best. That shit is expensive for as much as you need. Ironically it is cheapest at Whole Food because they have a store brand. I buy it by the case when I can get there. Try your best to shower. I know, I know, believe me. If you actually clean someone in the house or work up a sweat mopping the floor, I find motivation increase.
I sometimes do the three thing rule for bad days. I make myself do three things. Some days I count feeding the dog. Or checking the mail. Or taking a shower (honestly I think that should count for three if you wash your hair and shave your legs too. Because, exhausting.
HANG IN THERE. If it sunny tomorrow, go for a walk or even a drive. A little sunshine always helps.
I’ll shut up now. I hate when people tell me to take a fucking walk or a nice hot shower because they can go fuck themselves and they don’t know what it’s like. So I’ll just go fuck myself now. 🙂
Lol……. No, I do appreciate the advice because honestly when I’m in this space I forget what a few little activities can do to lift me a bit. Unfortunate eating right is on the back burner till I’m up and working full time again. Ill say I’ve never eating healthy and it is something I am going to think hard about. I’ve never been not willing to do what I have to do, its just getting out of this dark spot.
Thank you for for answering me, that wassweet and unexpected. I’m going to end this on a good note, because after posting my comment and crying for 20 minutes, I got off my butt and am now sitting at H&R block wrapping up my taxes. Yeah….. And it looks like I may get a cash advance and gezzzzzzzz its never as bad as I make it out to be.
I seriously would not be here if it were not for being able to ramble on to you on your blog….
Xxxoooooo
MK
WOW! GOOD FOR YOU! Things are looking up already.
And you can eat healthy just a cheaply as eating crap. BUT IT IS NOT A EASY as going thru that Taco Bell drive through that is less than a mile from my house. Bananas, milk and a crappy healthy cereal is a good option. I eat a baked sweet potato when I remember to pick them up. Our brains are fucked up and alcohol, sugar and processed food make us worse. I am speaking from OUTSIDE the hole right now, but when I am back in it, I’ll be buying beer from the ghetto store on the way to Taco Bell.
FYI, Lent starts on Feb 14 and goes for 43 days this year. I usually try to eat right and eliminate alcohol and sugar during that time. I’m not Catholic, it’s just a good span of time every year to at least CONSIDER being healthy for a month and a half. That leaves 90% of the year to wallow in the hole with a box of wine and Ben and Jerry’s Pistachio Pistacho ice cream. Both good choices for wallowing in my opinion.
Congrats again on getting to H & R and getting a cash advance! See? You got this! Things are working out already!
Mary that’s amazing you made it to H & R. Contact St. Vincent Dr Paul in your area. It’s a Catholic organization but helps everyone in need. For a time they helped pay my utility bill, brought food and anything else I needed. Also check your local large hospitals for a Behavior Health clinic or department. They often can hook you up on any psych meds you may need.
TT, I agree about Lent being a good time to recalibrate.
Mary Kay, if you have a disabling illness, be it physical or mental, and it keeps you from being able to work, you might be entitled to social security disability benefits. The standard for awarding benefits is whether your disability is such that you are unable to engage in any meaningful gainful employment on a sustained basis. It pays you at 80% of your prior salary or an average of past salaries. From what I’ve seen or heard, they always deny the initial claim ( that claim can be done without an attorney if you wish. But attach medical reports reflecting that you are disabled and to what extent, why, and that you cannot work). If they deny it, don’t get upset. They do that often during the 1st stage. Do not get upset. This is now when an attorney can help. You appeal and ask for a hearing. Do not delay on this part. The attorney’s fee gets set by SSA based upon a fee petition the lawyer has to submit and is deducted from back due benefits or future benefits to be paid. SSA is not going to award a fee that leaves you with nothing. There is generally no money paid up front to the lawyer. Getting the disability benefits will tide you over until you’re 62 and age-based SS benefits kick in for you.
I hate to see someone in pain, someone suffering like you mentioned. So I always want to help. I hope you start feeling better soon. I know that awful feeling that you mentioned of leaning on friends and loved ones , sometimes just to listen, and ending up feeling at some point that they’re sick of you. And I do so understand the feeling of I’m sick of me so how can I expect others not to be so as well. I’ve said the same thing myself. But there are so many good people out there, just keep looking. You have a lot to offer.
St. Vincent de Paul.
So I got a coat of paint on the ceiling in the kitchen, I still need to cut in above the cabinets tomorrow but the light fixture can go up tomorrow and pottery back on top of the cabinets….all clean and shiny!
Everyone has done so well I’m trying too!!!
WOW! I think painting the ceiling wins the week! Congrats!