By CJ Bomb
Welcome back everyone! WE HAVE LESLIE BACK!! We are not together in person but have our phones out and are ready to compare notes.
After last week’s traumatic double elimination everyone is hopeful to be working alone again. Alyssa, trying to channel Heidi in a dress that simply doesn’t work for her figure, tells them that they need fresh air and she has arranged for a trip to the countryside. They are visiting and touring a castle. They have to design a ball gown fit for a modern day princess. Merline says she was born to live in the time of castles. I text Les that I thought Merline wanted to live in the future? Helen is thinking something regal. Alyssa then says that everything they need will be INSIDE the castle. The designers are immediately like, Wait, what? And Oh, CRAP. And runway is tomorrow. Candice is wondering, what castle is going to let us ransack the place?
A BOUNCY castle. Filled with balls. The designers are laughing and horrified at the same time. Les texts me that she love the phrase, “What in gay hell is this?” A ball gown. Made out of balls. Get it? Someone was high as a kite when they came up with this one. They get five minutes to grab everything they can. Insanity commences. Kimberly doesn’t like challenges where she has to run and says it’s not her thing. Amanda has figured out all she has to is stand outside the opening and balls come flying out. Insert your own innuendo here.
Helen is going very geometrical. Stanley likes using a different part of his brain for these unconventional challenge and I have to say, this is the most animated I have ever seen Stanley. Kimberly says she loves these challenges in theory but hates them in practice. With the exception of a crafty winner who shall not be named, I think everyone in the history of this show feels the same way. Amanda is doing a long column dress with hacky sacks. Fabio’s design looks cool, but it is going to take a really long time. Joshua points out that Helen is struggling. And if she doesn’t pull it together will probably go home. What incredible insight. She’s going to do her bodice and then go from there. Anthony’s material keeps ripping.
Anne comes in and yammers on about how designers are using unconventional materials as a current trend. Sigh. She tells them she is going to be just as hard on them as she would be if it were a more conventional challenge. She asks Candice how she felt about being on the bottom last week. Candice says she has let it go. She is using rainbow balls to make a petal “pop princess.” Ann is getting an eighties Rainbow Brite vibe. She says to make sure the result is fashion forward and not halloween. Anne is happy that Amanda is going for it but doesn’t seem very confident in her hippy-leather esque concoction. Anne thinks Edmond’s look is very fashion forward but worried he doesn’t have enough material. Edmond has the same concern. She doesn’t want Ken to hide any of the cool architectural structure he’s got going on and the new Zen Ken agrees. Char is wisely using the inside of a basketball for fabric and Anne comments that she never knew basketballs were so complex. That’s all we get so I guess Char is safe this week.
We are now referencing My Little Pony when Anne takes in Kimberly’s get-up. Anne doesn’t get it, but tells her to go forward. Not exactly a vote of confidence. Helen is committing to making a textile and Anne obviously thinks she’s nuts because of the time factor. She’s good with Josh and tells Merline to stick with her architectural ideas. She thinks Anthony’s has great potential. She tells a confident Fabio not to get too comfortable. Why does he keep wearing a top that looks like he cut it off a Gunne Saxe granny dress? Stanley’s sheer amount of work is also concerning Anne.
She tells everyone that a lot of them did “not grab enough balls” I would like to leave space for Mark to insert a comment here. She tells them the modern day princess doesn’t have to be going to an actual ball or be wearing a long dress.
Stanley is rethinking his kaleidoscope effect. Helen thinks the glue-guns are a cop-out. She is sharing this opinion. Loudly. Frequently. Everyone doesn’t appreciate her opinion. The models come in and it’s obvious how behind everyone is. Kimberly thankfully realizes the cotton balls have to go. Edmond’s dress is giving me Barbarella……and I like it. Candice is also having issues with tearing. Just as I am thinking “acid trip” when I see Amanda’s coachella/burning man garment, she says she has created a cult look that has a lot to do with acid. So at least she’s self-aware. Fabio and Edmund are creating competing gold looks. Candice’s look isn’t making sense to her. Or me. Or Leslie.
On runway day, everyone is just trying to finish. Candice is hoping her fabric behaves. Stanley is just cutting and gluing, cutting and gluing. Amanda decides to not adjust the fit and add hacky-sacks instead. Ken is impressed by Fabio’s and Amanda is impressed by Helen’s. The models are playing with the balls. Another opportunity for Mark to make a comment. Sir, please don’t disappoint. Everyone is just happy their models are covered.
Alyssa’s dress isn’t so hideous. The fact that I just typed that it sad. Georgina is wearing massive chandelier earrings. Kacey Musgraves is the guest judge and even though she is a country singer, I actually recognize her. This is rare for me.
Les texts: Modern day ball gown this the goal, now lets see how the ball rolls…. Char’s look is actually pretty cool and looks like leather. Les thinks it’s a Courtney dress (because it’s black and looks like leather, I’m taking a stab in the dark here) and that it’s a good look overall, but a bit safe. She calls Amanda’s dress “Fruit tree number 1”. This is not as hideous as I thought it would be, which isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement. Amanda is super stoked. I’m picturing Anthony’s dress at a rave with blacklights. Leslie is picturing it at a junior prom. Kimberly’s look moves nicely. Les thinks it’s very fun and is very happy she ditched the cotton balls. We are both impressed with Helen’s textile even though the shape is a bit basic. It fits very well.
Leslie is worried Edmond might get in trouble for the muslin showing in his creative star wars dress. I’m getting female gladiator. Les writes one word for Stanley: Goldfish. She then writes: it just needed the bulging eyes. The color is nice, and it moves well. I like the shape. Josh thinks there are girls out there that will be calling him for this dress. Ladies of the evening? Perhaps Porsha from Real Housewives? Les says “a big fat NO. Slutty Pocahontas.” She thinks he copied Edmond. Oh Candice. This looks like a deflated beach ball. Leslie calls it fruit tree #2. We both agree Fabio nailed it but Les thinks the black material near the “woo” isn’t great. Ken’s dress is fabulous and I love the styling but Les points out it is very similar to last weeks look. Merline’s model is headed to the Copa! Copa Cabanna! Les says bordering on fruit tree number 3.
Leslie has picked Fabio, Ken and Helen for the top three with Fabio for the win. I choose Edmond, Fabio and Ken with Fabio for the win. Leslie picks Stanley, Amanda and Candice for the bottom with Candice to go. I choose Amanda, Candice and Joshua, with Candice to go.
Georgina found the back of Amanda’s dress much more successful than the front. She thinks the model looked pregnant when she walked out. Isaac thinks it a great dress (huh?) but his problem is that it isn’t an evening dress. Kacey likes the punky quality of it and gives her props for the length. Alyssa’s problem is the fit. Oh Alyssa. Some self-awareness would be good here.
Isaac thinks Fabio’s outfit feels very dressy for a short dress. He loves the “mystery” of it. Georgina thinks he’s done a wonderful job with the sculptural aspect of it. Alyssa loves the theatrical gladiator vibe she’s getting. She thinks it looks like a big piece of jewelry which is actually a great way to describe it. Kacey wants to be friends with this woman.
Kimberly’s look was one of Alyssa’s favorite looks today. Georgina points out that it looks great when it is moving, standing still, not so much. This is why it didn’t make into my top three. Isaac points out you have to be 14 to wear it.
Georgina is disappointed in Candice’s look. Even though Candice put a corset in, it is still “terribly unflattering” which is British for “hot mess”. She does make the phrase “sagging ass” sound pass through. Isaac has sympathy for her as he thinks the textile overwhelmed her. He’s not mad at her, he’s mad at the dress.
They love Stanley’s look! Alyssa loved the movement, Georgina loved the little jacket and Isaac loves the shape and how different it is from the other dresses. Somewhere Tamara is beaming. Kacey thinks it has an editorial quality.
Leslie has been watching ahead of me and has texted “oh Helen…” Uh oh. Georgina can’t see past the “basic-ness” of this look. Isaac doesn’t think it’s fashion forward enough. Alyssa appreciates the color palette and thinks the fabrication is beautiful. Kacey can only think of Best Buy in regards to the color choices. Helen goes full on bitch on the runway and basically says her dress isn’t a clown dress with ridiculous colors made with a glue gun. Fabio hisses “shade” and Helen makes another bitchy comment about other people taking it personally. Girl, just because being nice didn’t get you the win the last two times doesn’t mean you should head on over to the dark side. That only worked for Irina. Nobody will let Helen sit down in the waiting room. Helen tries to defend herself and winds up going off to cry when everyone calls out what an ass she is.
They call the designers back out on the runway and Helen is nowhere to be seen. Isaac gleefully asks if there is drama taking place backstage. Helen has gotten herself together and reappears looking defiant. Stanley wins! It was pretty, but we think Fabio was robbed. He throws some shade back to Helen by telling the judges his glue-gun thanks them. Stanley, you sly dog. Everyone cheers because everyone likes Stanley. He’s very humble and sweet about it. Candice gets sent home and Joshua invites Helen to apologize and make peace. She half-ass does it and they half-ass accept it. Candice exits gracefully.
Next week: Leslie and I hope to be on the couch, wine-glasses in hand. We hope that you join us. Have a fabulous weekend everyone! Xoxo.