The big news tonight is that LVP is actually going to
lie talk about one of her lawsuits on camera. They have already made this case go away if it is the one with Spot Rescue. If it turns out to be the one with the dog clothes designers, that one is going to be a bit more difficult. I am dying to hear the tales she spins.
We start with LVP’s dog store. We have a stupid scene with Ken talking about cloning Giggy. Giggy has alopecia he’s not exactly genetic material for cloning at $50,000. LVP agrees with me. Then LVP wants to talk about the lawsuit. I can’t believe they are doing this. Ken says that he gave the woman at Spot Rescue (though they don’t mention the name) $40,000 to catch them up on rent and necessary items for the shelter because he was planning on partnering with them prior to deciding to open their own shelter of sorts. She is suing them for backing out of the partnership. Ken says he just wants to not mention it and let the lawyers sort it out.
Kyle shows up to the dog store to have her dog groomed and LVP has “forgotten” to hire a groomer so they wash the dog themselves. It’s very Lucy and Ethel. The poor dog is miserable. Kyle says she adopted Storm from Spot Rescue. Then they talk about #lategate. Kyle does a great impression of Dorit’s fake accent.
Teddi’s intro poses are so bad. She seems like more of a jock than a model. Her scene is an advertisement for some kind of facial. She is apparently going to have a facial party at her house as a thank you for the Vegas birthday trip.
We get to see Kyle producing her TV show. All I can think of seeing Kyle is how she must feel seeing her jewelry and handbags. Dear God the person playing Kyle’s mother on American Woman sounds exactly like Dorit! WTF? Kyle says that her show is inspired by her life but not based on it. She continues to talk about how her sisters are not on board with her TV productions. However, Kathy posted just recently that she loves Kyle and Kim posted with her for her birthday. I think people are making it seem like a family feud when it is just one area of the relationship that is at issue. It’s more like the time you dated someone your family didn’t approve of. They disapprove of the show because they think it is something it is not. Kyle says once they see the show they will understand.
Ugh, why is Erika helping Dorit find a present for PK? Utterly ridiculous storyline. Oh My God. They are going to pretend like Dorit is buying PK a super expensive car. I had to Google Pigani and it is a “three million dollar” car that is basically illegal to drive on the streets in the US without a permit for “show and display” that limits you to 2,500 miles per year. This is the dumbest storyline ever. But I now get why Erika is there. She loves cars and wants to drive one. My googling shows the car is actually $1.8 million.
The Hamlin girls are getting ready to move to NYC. Harry Hamlin and Rinna are worried about it. Delilah seems like she is alone at first. She is accepted into NYU but she is going up a semester early and Harry is worried that gives her too much time to get in trouble.
Teddi’s Facial Party
That sounds gross. Anyway, Teddi asks Dorit to come early (again, ew) to clear the air before the others get facials. Together. This is not coming out right at all. Sorry for the visuals.
Teddi doesn’t know the difference between a champagne flute and a wine glass. She really is not a girly girl. That makes her perfect.
Dorit actually shows up on time. I suppose the lack of proper stemware knowledge was a plotline because Dorit points out right away that she was served LVP’s rosé in a champagne “glass” her calling it a glass makes me think she doesn’t know anything about stemware either. I digress. Such a plotline it is that they flash back to Dorit’s weird dinner party where she refers to them as “flute glasses.” This is almost as bad as the RHOA drinking vodka cranberries out of bullion bowls. Almost.
Dorit says she is not letting anyone touch her face. I love Teddi’s talking heads where she looks stunning in minimal makeup and a black sweater. She explains to us that she spelled out the process of the facial that includes lasers in the invite. If she just wanted to come drink, that’s fine, but she didn’t need all the facialists.
Dorit immediately denies being nearly an hour late for their last shoot. Teddi says even worse than keeping her waiting for an hour is then going to Kyle bitching about her bringing it up and saying she was only six minutes late. Dorit is very confrontational. She says she is allowed to talk to her friends. Dorit actually says “I don’t know how I became the villain in all of this!” This goes to show that Dorit has learned the game and realizes she has the villain edit this season and she is going to turn up. These women all receive callsheets WITH THEIR CALL TIMES. When I see Dorit stand up and say she is going to change her glass, it doesn’t even look like a champagne flute. Maybe it was I only saw the top third of it but it looked short.
Rinna arrives with a bottle of booze as a hostess gift. Then they beat the damn glass situation to death. I see now that they are drinking champagne out of champagne coupe. No one uses those anymore. That is from like the 1920s, the proper modern day glass for champagne is a flute. I am irritated with whatever story writer though this was a plotline that needed to arc over multiple episodes.
OMG we have to endure a 50th birthday part for PK? Aren’t we about 16 years too late for that? Dorit is flying in family and friends from London. This is going to be horrible.
LVP arrives sort of mildly comes for Rinna for bringing up the news about her lawsuit. Rinna tries to downplay it saying she brought it up because it was in the news and she wanted to know if anyone had heard how she and Ken were doing. Erika comes in and everyone inquires about Tom who is home recovering from an accident.
Dorit wants to drag everyone into #lategate It makes my head hurt. This is not very spa like.
Finally Camille arrives. LVP offers to tighten Rinna’s hoohah. Kyle asks the guy to do something about LVP’s giant bush. LVP picks at Rinna. I adore the tiny terrariums.
Dorit tries to apologize to Camille. Camille seems to believe her, but she just doesn’t like or trust her. Dorit is not sincere.
Next time: Teddi and Dorit continue to butt heads, Teddi and Kyle double date. PK flies a helicopter onto a yacht for his fiftieth birthday party where Boy George makes an appearance.