We start this sham of a show with an email from a guy named Joseph who wrote into the show about his ex-girlfriend Kim. He recently found out that she has been in an online relationship with a guy named Matt who lives in Florida. This relationship overlapped with his relationship with Kim. He is not angry, he is just worried that she is being catfished. At one point Matt lived in Sacramento where Kim and Joseph live but they still never met. He wants to get everything out in the open because Kim has had a hard life and he wants to see her happy with someone. Um, okay.
I’m sorry. I still love this stupid show even though I know it is fake A F.
They video chat with Joseph and he tells the story of Kim’s sad life. Her mother died. She’s had problems with the law. She got involved in drinking and drugs, but hey, other than that she is a really great person. He gets Kim on the phone and her attempts to be surprised were not at all believable. That is because they staged Joseph’s house already for the video chat and she was told when to expect the call.
Kim scored a really pretty grey couch! And a blue chair and a black coffee table. The walls are all blank. Why don’t they get ficus trees this year? A nice plant always makes the set look nice. Wow, it looks like they really hooked her up with the furniture. You can tell it’s not a great house but the living room is very nice. Anyway Kim says after her mom died her dad disappeared and she started getting into drugs and alcohol in high school. She spent some time in juvenile hall when she was younger for “kicking a cop in the nuts.” (Spoiler alert! None of this is true.) They painted the walls the ubiquitous grey that all the shows use these days. The floors in this house are gorgeous! Is that CGI? Because they are perfect hardwood floors and I know they didn’t do that for her. That said, the neighborhood looks nice but this may be a guest house behind the property itself.
The Ridiculously Simple Internet Investigation Into Matt
The very basic Google and social media search that the average third grader could do takes place this week at a really cute pink diner. Oh wait. Kim is only 20 and Matt is 21? That explains why they are doing this for $1K and a chance to look stupid on TV. I do not believe that she is looking at colleges either since she said she was taking drugs and drinking throughout high school and went to juvenile hall. The writers really screwed the pooch on this script. Then again, you have to be really fucking stoopid or way into the staging of the houses to watch this mess.
As the story goes, Matt and his brother did leave Florida for about five months when their mother went to Sacramento to be a travel nurse. Matt’s friend Crystal says he’s been seeing someone off and on in Kissimmee, Florida where he lives with his parents and his brother. This is all been marvelously easy. They even have a photo. They even have a photo. He’s kind of emo hot.
When they report back to Kim she’s a bit…strange. How long has it been since she was on drugs? She never mentioned getting clean. This girl got a shit ton of really cool furniture. Maybe they did that instead of paying her more than a grand because they didn’t want to give a drug addict too much cash? She has cool light fixtures and a nice dining/room kitchen table set that are not expected in this type of small home. It’s way nicer than my house inside. Kim just keeps crying with her hair covering her face and taking breaks. Actually, the whole house looks very “done.” They may have done her entire house or they may have rented this place for the shoot. It doesn’t look lived in at all. They are filming a scene in the bathroom with her randomly crying on the floor and it is pristine. There are bright white towels hanging like in a hotel room, Bath towel, face towel, wash cloth. I don’t think she lives here at all. New trendy grey bathmat.
She doesn’t want to go meet him because she is afraid of flying. Or the deal was he gets the plane ticket to California. NOW it makes sense why she got a shit ton of furniture and staging. They had a bigger budget because they only had to stage one property. She gets a fancy house makeover, he gets a free trip to California.
Nev Calls The Reluctant Catfish Who Eventually Agrees To Meet
Of course, 21-year-old Matt can barely make time for this new trip. His brother just got out of surgery. He just started a new job…etc. etc… only we have talked to the brother already, no mention of surgery and what 21-year-old emo dude is by his brother’s sick-bed 24/7? His mother is a nurse and they all live at home (which is why they can’t film there. Mama ain’t having a film crew in her house). And what job does this kid who lives with his mother have that he can’t get three days off for an all expense paid trip to Cali? No kind of job. He’s getting on a plane tonight.
Since Nev got married and has a kid, the only way his wife is letting him do this show is if she gets to be on the show. So it’s time for the new, Nev Skypes With The Wife segment. I kind of enjoy it. It’s cute actually.
The Meetup
When the guys go to meet with Kim and wait for Matt, Joseph is in the driveway. He says that Kim called to tell him she needs more drugs that there were some things she hasn’t told them. He says they need to hear it from her. What is Joseph’s role in all of this? Oh, Joseph is Kim’s baby daddy. Joseph probably got his thousand dollars for the show too. Where did Joseph get the shiny white car? Wherever it came from, he took the kid and left in it.
Now we have a complete set of wooden lawn furniture in the driveway. WTF? This has got to be rented.
Kim admits it was her who bailed when Matt lived there a couple years ago because she went into labor. Kim is a horrible actress. Seriously. Kim can’t stop rocking back and forth.
The Meetup Near a Large Body of Water
En route to the park near a large body of water, Kim still looks high as fuck. When we get there, I see no large body of water! I am disappointed. Matt is hiding in a shady grove, so that is almost as creepy I suppose. Kim is weird as hell. She has her hands between her legs like she is going to pee herself. She’s rocking from side to side asking questions. He doesn’t have a girlfriend, he doesn’t take photos because he doesn’t like being on camera. She is tripping in the most literal sense of the word, in my opinion. She keeps crouching down like she is peeing her pants. Then she “takes a second” to go crouch a few feet away.” Matt says, “The hysterics are nice.” He seem to be feeling good as well.
This is the fakest shit Catfish has ever done, and that is saying a lot. She asks him if he really doesn’t like kids and he says it’s iffy. Then she says she has a two-year old, and asks him if he would like to be her godfather? She is REALLY high. And strange.
OH WAIT! There is the body of water. I knew it had to be there somewhere. She professes her undying love for him at a picnic table by a large body of water. Then she says this is all pointless and wants to go for a run by the river in jeans. Nev and Max are left with Matt now.
The Day Two Meetup
It’s time to introduce the potential godfather to his potential goddaughter. Because nothing says responsible decision making like an admitted drug addict picking a random guy she met off the Internet to be the godfather of her child. If she is twenty, with a two-year old, wouldn’t that make her a mom who was not only doing drugs and drinking in high school but getting knocked up as well? And talk to me about this baby daddy, Joseph again because this makes no sense.
So the godfather from Florida brings a stuffed animal for his possible god-daughter. Once inside, there is a new red chair for Max. Joe comes to rescue the baby. The happy couple goes to an ice cream shop to talk alone. Matt says he is not in a place for a relationships as his leg bobs up an down. Kim is doing the hair thing again. He is okay with helping her out with her kid and being her godfather. Really? This is such fucked up episode. He just wants to be friends.
As Nev says, “That was weird.”
OMG I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING! I JUST WOKE UP THE DAMN DOG! At the two month checking Kim says she is taking online classes. So that is good. When they ask what her career goals are, she says, “I’m going for surgeon.” Seriously, this is millennials today, Even when I was teaching first grade they would say they were either going to be a doctor or a lawyer. Okay, well maybe… but there are other occupations. You can be just fine as a blogger for example. 🙂 This girl has to be high. Your mother died when you were in high school, your father supposedly left you, you were in juvenile hall so you probably have a GED if you are lucky and you think you are taking online classes to be a surgeon? This is the most hysterical episode ever.
My DVR cut off before I got to see Matt. Which sucks because this was hysterical.
Before I had a chance to recap this weeks Catfish, someone sent me screen grabs of Kim’s sister Sonya on Facebook. She says that this entire story is made up. That Matt knew Kim had a kid. They both applied together on the Catfish website, they took the story knowing it was fake and made it even more scripted. Her sister was paid a whooping $1,000 (no mention of furniture) for the whole thing. She also says her sister is not going to visit Matt and they just said that to make it seem like they would remain friends. She also said that she is pissed that her niece was exploited as was her mother’s death and that her father never ran off anywhere and they both see him all the time.
I am going to reach out to Sonya because I am dying to know the details….
About the furniture.
I couldnt wait for you to recap this episode. The story was ridiculous and to find out its fake, it all fits. Kim and Matt are both weirdos and horrible actors to boot. Everything from the beginning was odd and just got worse, nothing made sense. Also, Nev and Max seemed annoyed, not their usual selves
Embarrassed to admit I got sucked in but it was entertaining.
Hopefully she’ll remove the facial spikes before commencing her surgical practice.
They should start a spinoff….Catfish: Behind the Scenes. They could show it from the Catfish decorator (how I wish that could be me). Show the staging of the home, clearing out the dirt and debris, furniture shopping, rehearsing the story….the options are endless!
The reason she’s afraid to fly? My money’s on her not being able to travel with her drug dealer. I’m sure it’s very hard to find a good connection when you are only in town for two days. I imagine Nev and Max wouldn’t be much help.
I would love to hear Sister Sonya’s take on all this. They should start a spinoff….Catfish: Behind the Scenes. They could show it from the Catfish decorator (how I wish that could be me). Show the staging of the home, clearing out the dirt and debris, furniture shopping, rehearsing the story….the options are endless!
The reason she’s afraid to fly? My money’s on her not being able to travel with her drug dealer. I’m sure it’s very hard to find a good connection when you are only in town for two days. I imagine Nev and Max wouldn’t be much help.
Has anyone ever actually come out and said their home was staged for the show? I mean, we know they do that because there’s no way in the world that everyone’s house would be all picked up and spotless when a TV crew randomly comes over. If they did that to me, I’d have a heart attack. I mean, everyone needs a little notice, right? I’m just surprised that there hasn’t been someone who ratted on them and said it was all a set up. I’m currently masquerading as a 22 year old woman on the Internet – not much of a stretch since I’m really a 71-year-old granny – nothing a little tape under the ears and a heavy-duty Spanx couldn’t fix. Can anyone tell me how to come up with a believable story and get in touch with Max and Neve? My sofa could do with a upgrade, and I’m really sick of my Navajo White walls.
I have an idea that’s just stupid enough to appeal to the show (and us pathetic viewers). Why don’t you get one of your grandchildren in on the plan? Pretend to Catfish one of your grandchildren! Preferably one who has recently moved and could use some help redecorating. Have them contact Catfish and presto- you both get a new living room! You are sure to be the favorite grandparent. All the other grandparents give hand-me-downs. Not you, you can get them a new living room and start their reality tv career all at once! What could go wrong?
All I could think of was Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club when she was covering her face with her hair and putting it down towards the table. Maybe she based her performance on her? Interesting to read about the sister, I’d like to hear more of what she has to say.
Haha me too! I was screaming, sit up, you freak!
Im a long time lurker but i dont think ive ever comented before…. this was the weirdest shit ive ever seen on catfish. Lolololol. I honestly couldnt wait for you to recap this episode. … you never disappoint. Thank you for making me smile ?
I felt awkward just watching the awkwardness of Kim. I would have left immediately if I were Matt seeing the level of anxiety she was exuding. The fact that all of this was fake is even more disturbing, and makes no sense at all.
Omg I just stumbled across this and died!!! ?????? I love your commentary. You are spot on!! Love it ????
Agree. Rather watch cat coughing fur balls.
So did Catfish get catfished in this deal?
Either way, I do like that grey paint. If you get the details from Kim’s sister about the furniture, can you ask her what color that is?
Although given the mess that Kim appears to be, that house was probably a rental.
This episode was very much scripted and that mentally unstable bitch Kim is lying about her family, especially and shamefully, her dead mother. Source: her sister’s social media. Apparently kim scheduled to make a 2nd appearance on the show where she will take all the credit from her sister for “helping” her mother during her final days. Don’t believe it, it’s all scripted for the tv. I’m so fucking disappointed that Nev and Max would actually promote blatant lies.
OMG OMG, MY HUBBY & I DIED LAUGHING THE ENTIRE EPISODE!!! I WAS LIKE ” WAIT ARE WE BEING PUNKED ??? I WAS ON THE EDGE OF THE COUCH LITERALLY SCREAMING…WORST & FUNNIEST ONE EVVVEEERRRR??? SHE DEFINITELY HAS SOME MENTAL ISSUES GOING ON!!
“Anyway Kim says after her mom died her dad disappeared and she started getting into drugs and alcohol in high school. She spent some time in juvenile hall when she was younger for “kicking a cop in the nuts.” (Spoiler alert! None of this is true.) ”
If it’s not true, why do you use it here: “I do not believe that she is looking at colleges either since she said she was taking drugs and drinking throughout high school”
Contradiction with no elaboration of why you think that she can’t go to college.
“His mother is a nurse and they all live at home (which is why they can’t film there. Mama ain’t having a film crew in her house).”
She said she is afraid of flying.
“She never mentioned getting clean”
People can suffer anxiety and depression BECAUSE they are clean, even if they didn’t struggle with it before. You can’t just assume someone is a drug addict because they do things you don’t understand.
“She is REALLY high. And strange.”
I can see why you would think this, but its obvious to many that she has some type of severe anxiety disorder. The first thing she says on the show is that she is very nervous and several occasions mentions she is afraid of heights, flying etc.
“Then she says this is all pointless and wants to go for a run by the river in jeans.”
It’s a common coping mechanism for people with anxiety to run sporadically when they feel an elevated heart rate in order to burn off nervous energy. Yes she is wearing jeans and you might find this hilarious (i can agree it looks funny) but this is still someones health condition.
“she says, “I’m going for surgeon.” Seriously, this is millennials today, Even when I was teaching first grade they would say they were either going to be a doctor or a lawyer. Okay, well maybe… but there are other occupations. You can be just fine as a blogger for example.”
Yes you can, but you still need talent as with any other Job. Any idiot with an internet connection can blog, isn’t that right Tamara?
Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Alice. She’s the last person on earth falling for this scripted show.
Alice seriously I’m a RN who recently finished getting her BSN and let me tell you that was hard enough doing that online is almost darn near impossible so becoming a doctor online isn’t going to happen! Also, you can NOT become a doctor period with a GED EVER!! That’s a law in all 50 states have to have graduated with a diploma to be accepted pre-med in colleges! Also I agree with Tamara what kind of surgeon takes online courses? No surgeon I’d want to go to or allow my loved ones to go to either! I’ve never worked with a doctor ever who took online courses to become what they are. Also maybe she does have anxiety and I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions but I’m sorry the way she said acted she knew this guy didn’t want kids so she asks him then proceeds to ask him if he wants to be The Godfather to her daughter?? WHAT!?? Hopefully she was on drugs in that scene otherwise she’s an insane person willing to give her daughter to a total stranger who doesn’t want kids AND she doesn’t even know him from a total stranger! I’m also Catholic and the definition of a Godparent is the person who takes the child/children when the parents die it’s a huge responsibility with ceremonial events and everything! It’s just a very scripted show luckily because I’m choosing to believe people are not this stupid or insane especially when it comes to their own kids!
… you can start the road to becoming a doctor with a GED. I don’t know what law you’re making up, but I guess that’s why you’re a nurse and not a lawyer lol. Check you facts!!
You are a genius! I was like….What SUPPOSED law is this. I googled it and lo and behold there is only 100+ sites that all say as long as you successfully get your undergrad that is all you need!! Clearly the BSN holder is not a MENSA candidate and needs to stick to her ACTUAL job as a Medical assistant or phlebotomist instead of giving faux legal advice.
Now on the real…NOBODY is getting a Doctorate in any for of health sciences ONLINE ONLY! To be a doctor that practices medicine on human patients and/or surgeon one must complete and internship and residency…all which are done in a clinic and/or hospital!! But still the RN is lacking in a law education 100%
Hey Alice-I have an idea for you! Why don’t you start your own site and review Catfish and anything you’d like to- on your own page. The rest of us will stay here and continue to enjoy Tamara’s commentary.
Omg I could NOT stop laughing reading this article! You literally crack me up over the furniture comments…I love it! I agree with you also this is the fakest one AND about her being on drugs still! I’ve been a nurse for 18 years and have seen in that amount of time various patients high as the Empire State Building and that girl acted similar to the way they all did too! I felt this episode was completely staged and it does suck to expose that little girl like that and even more upsetting saying that about the father! Sadly I’ve seen people come on these shows lying their a$$e$ off and swearing on their mom’s lives and everything else! God forbid they say I swear on my dog or cat or something other than a human and the person who gave them life! Soooo…did you ever find out anymore about the furniture?? I’m also interested in that too! ?
Omg!!!! I just randomly came across this when I googled “is Kim from catfish on drugs?!” This was hilarious! Off to find other recaps you posted! Have you cracked the case on furniture with Sonya ? Lmao
Hey, Sonya here. No one ever reached out to me which is pretty sad, because I’ve got a lot to say. I didn’t read through all of your commentary (though it was pretty funny) but yes, they rented that house for her. Same with the car Joe was driving. Matt knew about Norma. Kimberly never did drugs or drank but she is a bipolar off her meds and she does smoke weed to the point she panics if she doesn’t have any. Our dad has been in our lives since day one. He never went anywhere. She DID go to Juvie for kicking a cop in the nuts. That’s sadly true. She’s not the brightest. It did nothing to set her straight though.
For everyone saying “take her kid and give her to Joe” please god no. Joe is an angry alcoholic and the reason they split up is because he would drink and hit her. Neither of them should have custody of Norma. My father (who, again, was always an active part of our lives) should have custody of Norma. He’d take good care of her.
There’s tons more but it’s been a while and I only just found this post so I don’t know if anyone will ever even see it. If you have questions feel free to search for Sonya Jade Bolas on Facebook. My face should be proof enough that I’m her sister. Tragically, we look very similar. But I have actual pictures of us together if that isn’t enough.
Thanks. Bye.
Hi sonya, I found this after watching this episode. It’s so heartwarming how you’re coming out being honest. The narrative was hugely worrying that they presented, and it felt like they saw the presentation of her mental illness and just tried to ignore it to fit the story. I have bipolar myself which isn’t medicated due to allergies, but when I’m acting like that I need help, not exploitation. Nev defending her anxiety seemed disingenuous at best. I’m assuming Matt didn’t keep in touch?
i would love to see the followu up of mattt and his emo style hair,does he have a fb page etc.
The quote, “ Then she says this is all pointless and wants to go for a run by the river in jeans.” is really making me laugh so much harder than it should omg.