To Rome For Love: Mercedes Bends The Rules

It’s time to head back to Rome and see how the search for love is going with these crazy ladies. On today’s agenda, they have a private bus tour of the city and a rooftop mixer, Gina refuses to take the bus tour because she doesn’t want to be locked up with the other girls for three hours. Did no one explain to her that this was an ensemble show and she is not the star? Because, she seems to think she is the star.

The Italian tour guide tells them that “legend says” if they take a selfie in front of Arco di Constantino they will have a lover within a year. Really? that’s a legend? iPhones have barely been around for ten years and it was several years before idiots decided they could not live without one. How is that a legend. Oh, then he laughs at them and says he was just kidding.

At the Vatican, the tour guide stopped laughing when Mercedes led a group prayer that took up a huge chunk of the tour time. In fact, that is all the tour we got to see. 

On to the mixer where Diann has screened some men she thinks will match well with the ladies. We start with Nakita who meets Gabriele first. I like him. Nakita is super nervous. She doesn’t know how to make small talk. Instead of asking about his work, or his family or how long he has lived in Rome, Nakita asks him when his birthday is. This is something my first graders would do. Any time I had the write thank you notes for classroom donations they would all ask “Wenis your birthday?” As you might imagine wenis quickly became one of my favorite words. Nakita seems to be deflating in front of our eyes. She may slide off the chair soon. Girlfriend, sit up! Look alive! Smile!

Mercedes quickly dumps the tattoo artist because she has a degree from the nasty Gator college which clearly makes her superior. Gina has met an age appropriate man, Dario, who likes to cook. This match seems like a good one. He’s attractive. However his English is not the best. Gina likes him.

Back over with Nakita and Gabriele, Nakita asks him. “What’s your favorite fish?” He likes tuna. Too many jokes for this conversation. Moving on… Oh wait, Diann has seen enough. She asks Gabriele for a moment with Nakita and he is thrilled to be excused.  Then instead of Diann telling her to sit up straight and get her head in the game, she sends over D. Micah to do it. He takes the pillow she is clutching away from her and goes to fetch her some more prosecco. Diann swoops in and takes her to a tall table with no seating to meet two me. Nakita tells us in a talking head she feels like she is feeling forced to choose someone and she doesn’t like anyone. Someone needs to explain to her that they are trying to give her multiple opportunities to practice her dating skills, particularly small talk and smiling and feigning interest if necessary in other people. Gurl, you are in Rome! There are men handpicked for you on this rooftop! Mingle! Nakita is not happy with the man she is speaking too, but she can’t end the conversation herself.

Shay is a chef and she met a chef that she likes named Roberto. They want to make a plan to cook together. There first date was adorbs. I hope Diann doesn’t get on her about liking all the guys, because this is a nice match. She takes him back to the house and they cook together. They spend most of the day together.

Gina and Dario go out on their date. They both love candles. So there is that. Dario talks a lot. He’s a bit like an Italian greeting card. OMG, Gina just said the same thing. Then she bailed on him. She was put off by Dario asking if she thinks she will ever be married again. Why? I think that is a very appropriate question for a divorced woman in her fifties.

Ashley has a date after midnight. It looks like Mercedes does too. Oh, it’s a double date. Mercedes finds out her date who is twenty-two still lives at home. Honey, those Italian men live with their mothers their entire lives. They may or may not move out after they get married. The girls dance a bit with their dates when they arrive. But both girls dash off and leave their dates as soon as they seem some black men. That’s just rude. The poor kid with the man bun is just standing there watching Mercedes twerk all over all the black guys. It’s appalling really.