We start right off with the imaginary life of Porsha Williams, actress extraordinaire. She’s been in movies! (or at least she had a bit part in Sharknado). She’s done plays! (Or at least Kandi regrettably gave her a role in her last play and Porsha blew off rehearsals and barely learned her three lines in time.) And now she has another play offer. I think she just finished doing that play somewhere. It was not Bra-way though. Oh Lord, we are going to have to watch her take acting classes.
Kim and Nene are going to dinner with Sheree. This should be interesting. At first it is just Kim and Sheree. Kim starts right in talking about Kandi and her threesomes. Girl stop. Kandi is not the one to fuck with on this show. Don’t believe me? Call Phaedra Parks and ask her what she is doing with her life. I can tell you what she is doing, she’s liquidating assets as fast as she can and posting selfies on Instagram all day long like a thirteen year old. Kim Says that Kandi offered to lick her box. Kim is just the worst person in the world. I cannot believe I am team Nene over Kim. I used to love Kim but my how times have changed. Sheree and Kim call Nene to find out where she is. She says she is not going to come. Something about all the elephants in the room and it needs to be a bigger conversation. This whole scene was filmed AFTER the trip to Barcelona. Kim didn’t share the roach video until after production blocked her from going on the Barcelona trip. This is all filmed out of order. For one thing they needed to give Kim more episodes. She was paid for 12 episodes but only filmed nine due to being cut from the Barcelona trip. They show the video and Kim says there were over 24 roaches in Nene’s bathroom.
Later at Neverland, someone has stocked the refrigerator. I wonder who paid for that? And there is a grill out on one of the crooked balconies. Who rented that? Then Tyrone calls and acts like he is going to be exonerated. This is hysterical. His release date is in 2022.
Cynthia did a back to school book drive for kids who needs assistance with school supplies. Kenya shows up to support her. And so does her rent-a-boyfriend, Will. Will says he is about to go to Brazil for a week. Kenya points out that prostitution is legal there. He says he is only going for the Jesus statue. Cynthia’s dramatic school girl crush act is silly.
Nene & The Elephants
Nene meets with an energy cleanser named Mbele who is going to meet with all of the women. Mbele takes everyone’s phones. Everyone is all dressed up except for Sheree who is wearing faded mom jeans, a black tank top and a bathrobe. Everyone hands over their phone except for Kim and Porsha.
As soon as all the ladies assemble and Nene says, “Welcome to the elephant room” the lights flicker on and off. Y’all this is some crazy shit. It’s impossible to explain. She said something to Sheree about knowing when to start things and when to end them. She told Kandi she has some sort of spidey sense deja vu ability. She tells Nene to stop worrying about what others think and that she has a heart of gold. She tells Cynthia that her friends are right about her new man. Kim and Mbele get into over who is from a higher power. Kim says she is from a higher plane and people like that don’t throw shade. Mbele points out that Kim has been nothing but rude and disrespectful since she arrived. She tells Kenya she is not going to be in this group much longer anyway. She has a different destiny. Mbele must have read my exclusive before this reading.
Meanwhile, all Kim does is run her mouth to Sheree listing all of the people who have “read her” starting with the Long Island Medium as other people are being read. Mbele wants to clean Kim of her negativity but she refuses. She also refuses to stop holding Porsha’s hand. It’s just very weird. Mbele just sort of takes her sage and wanders off stage left and for reasons unknown, Kandi takes Mbele’s seat and starts moderating a group discussion. Because, why not?
Let’s review what is going on here. Nene calls the elephant party to lay all the elephants out on the table. Yet she has nothing to say to Porsha. She has nothing to say to Sheree. Apparently, she just wants to be the spectator. Suddenly, Sheree is bringing up Tyrone and telling Nene she has mugshots too. WTF? I mean that was totally out of left field. Basically, no one is interested in making up with anyone, so everyone calls it a night. But Nene suggests Kim stay back and talk to her alone. It doesn’t go well. Kim says that Nene has not been herself lately and she wonders if Nene is on drugs.
Next week: Cynthia and Porsha go to Houston for hurricane Harvey relief, but they have separate events. Tyrone tells Sheree that Nene doesn’t ever want to speak negatively about him because she doesn’t want to go down that road. Cynthia says some people from someplace thought Kenya was being rude This causes Kenya to storm off the production set.