By CJ Bomb
Hello dear ones. I’m sorry I missed you the first week. 2018 has proven to be a challenging year already, but the challenges have had good outcomes so I’m making that my focus. Our beloved dog ran away from her caregiver and had an adventure in the south Georgia woods for six nights giving everyone a heart attack She strolled back in on the seventh day acting confused as to why we were all freaking out. Someone I love very dearly then sustained an injury, BUT if she takes care of herself (I’m watching YOU Mom) will not require surgery. So ugly things happening with beautiful resolutions, much like tonight’s episode.
I have to say I was very excited by this group of designers. I LOVE me some Melissa Fleis and Helen for design and adore Anthony and Kelly from the Deli for their humor. After FINALLY watching the first episode I texted Lovely Les and asked, “Is it just me, or does this season seem to be a little low-rent?” She pointed out that they are using INTERMIX and Rodial so at least that is a step up. A huge step. I still don’t get Alyssa Milano as a host. I don’t get her style, I don’t understand how she wound up on a fashion based show. I just don’t get it. Anne F and Issac M have also decided to be hardasses this year. Ummmm….Yay?
We start this episode with Alyssa in the workroom and caution tape and forms everywhere. She tells them the workroom is a mess and that she’s going to clean it up. She then proceeds to spray the designers with a fire extinguisher. How is this cleaning anything up? Anthony worries the chemicals in his hair with react badly and blow up the whole building. Is this an unconventional challenge? Already? Nope. Apparently it is now a trend that designers are embracing distressed designs to create “post-apocalyptic” fashion. I keep thinking of Zoolander and Mugatu’s Derelicte collection. They have to use two different techniques to distress their garments and there are all sorts of weapons of fashion destruction to achieve this. There has to be some backstory of what the model has survived on the way to the runway and they have one day and $200 at Mood. This is either going to be awesome or a total disaster.
Char is doing an outfit for a “fly firefighter” who will be running towards danger rather than away from it. Merline is doing a dress for a half woman/half other species of the future wearing a dress that is in actuality a map…..to get a key….to get to the power. Kelly’s girl is an ice princess who is sick of the cold so she goes to a rave in the desert and dances so hard she sets the world on fire, CREATING the apocalypse. Anthony’s Gambian princess is at a ball where she finds out the world is ending, but she still has “regal-ness”. Stanley’s girl got caught in a fire. Way to create that backstory Stanley. Ari’s woman has survived volcanic eruption when all the tectonic plates in the world shift. She says she is used to using this techniques and seems very confident. Love her sketch.
In the workroom people are fraying, painting, burning. Helen smartly asks if bleach is flammable before taking a torch to something. Char is confused as to why Merline won last week because she doesn’t get Merline’s aesthetic. I like Char. I do. I just don’t like her as a designer. Merline is working on a 3D garment and wisely consults Ari as she has never done one before.
When Helen started she was working out of her parents basement, now she has a studio in Midtown Manhattan. She has so much more confidence which is why she’s back. I DO like Helen’s work very much. I hope she doesn’t get the bitch edit. Stanley is excited because he was on the awful TEAMS season of PR and this is the first time he gets to work on his own. Kelly is creating a very wild textile for her bodice. Ken points out this challenge is hard for most designers because they are there to make beautiful things, not rip them apart. Anthony is having a very hard time. I really don’t want Anthony kicked off just yet. Joshua calls him a precious lady and totally gets why this has thrown him for a loop.
Yolanda has a modeling show? And no one can say apocalyptic?
Anne comes in for the critique. She’s not sure about Char’s firefighter outfit, but Char knows it’s going to be awesome. She congratulates Merline on her win and Merline tells her it was due to her advice. On this show we call that FORESHADOWING Char. She tells Merline her look is a basic shift dress right now, but she likes where she is going. She points out just how much work Ari has created for herself. She tells Melissa to make sure that the judges can see her distressed details. She wisely tells Kimberly there is a difference between “mess and distress”. She tells Edmund he needs to rip his look up a little and he points out that that is the hard part as they work so hard on these garments. Amanda is worried she hasn’t done enough and Anne says she doesn’t see ANY distressing. Candice says she’s NEVER distressed anything in her life and Anne tells her to “go bold”. She tells Stanley not to make his look “pretty prom dress”. She grabs one of Helen’s tools and nearly sets her table on fire. Joshua has made a target bodysuit and plans on shooting it with a paintball gun. This gets Anne all excited and off they go for target practice. She loves the effect. Kelly has spent all her time on her bodice textile and as Kimberly points out, the bottom doesn’t look like she has gone far enough. Anne tells Anthony he needs to create a narrative to understand how he gets to his final look. Anthony gets it and is re-energized. Before Anne leaves she says she has been so inspired she might just put the winning look in Marie Claire.
Char says that even though Anne thinks her look might veer into costume territory, she’s going to stick to her original plan. So that’s one person in the bottom three. Anthony lighting a torch is the funniest thing I will see today. The models come in and everyone seems on track fit-wise. Amanda loves Kelly’s vibe but she ALSO worries she’s not distressing enough. I think Kelly is out second person in the bottom three.
Runway Day
Everyone is frantically adding finishing touches to their garments. Stanley is way behind. Anthony has been fully converted and calls himself “The Distresser” as he created a net turban to complete his look. Amanda doesn’t get Char’s look as it is distressed but not burnt, and wouldn’t a firefighter be burnt?. Kelly has made glitter headphones, because…Kelly.
The Runway
Judges Isaac and Georgina are there of course; Georgina blissfully unaware her entire life is about to blow up. Isaac is wearing a poodle pin and a cravat. Interesting choices. The guest judge is Danielle Brooks from Broadway and Orange is the New Black. I’m loving her makeup.
Candice’s look is a woman who was in her pajamas when the shit went down. I don’t think that is the actual backstory, but that is what I’m getting. Ok, I love the CONCEPT of pants with a train (for a runway) but that is the only good thing about Char’s look. The back looks silly. LOVE Helen’s look. Love the cape and it fits beautifully. Ken’s also is looking fabulous. I love the bottom. Kimberly’s dress moves a little too stiffly for me. Kelly’s look is fun but this woman looks like she’s at a rave, not an post-apocalyptic rave. I’ve been at both…big difference. Amanda’s cape looks like Pocahontas met a shredder. I hate the jumpsuit. Ari’s dress is flowy and cool at the same time. The construction is perfect. I think Joshua’s coat is very cool. I’m not sure about the target underneath. The coat would win an Avant Garde challenge. Which this kind of is. Merline’s look is awesome. She took last week’s critique to heart and everything is very sharp. It’s a futuristic take on a LBD. I don’t love Fabio’s sculpted pantsuit. It is nicely made but a bit boring. If an eighties prom dress and a Rick Owens dress had a baby, it would be Edmond’s dress. Getting Thierry Mugler. Stanley’s is boring. Melissa’s woman looks like she is ready to take on some fuckng ZOMBIES. That is a compliment. Anthony’s comes out and everyone is wowed. Myself included. It’s stunning.
My top three: Melissa, Anthony and Helen, with Anthony for the win. My bottom three: Char, Stanley and Amanda with Stanley to go home.
Judging
Isaac says this is the best runway he’s ever seen. So not boring. It actually was pretty awesome. Nothing was so hideous it stood out.
Anthony explains his princess from Gambia was at the Met Gala when the world ended. Georgina loves it and Anthony squeals. She thinks it is elegant and balanced. Danielle says she could have watched it on the runway for another five minutes. Isaac says that sometimes distressing can “go a little dirty” but that this is fresh as a daisy. Isaac tells him he has to know what he’s capable of after Anthony says he doesn’t usually embrace the sexiness. This concerns Isaac as Anthony knocked it out of the park and he doesn’t even realize it.
Stanley’s woman went to the opera. There was a fire. The story is as boring as the dress. Georgina loves the bottom not the top. Danielle thinks its too perfect but she likes the color. Alyssa thinks the color from the burn marks is beautiful. Isaac hates the color and uses the term swamp thing.
Merline explains her backstory and Isaac loves it. He gets it through the dress. Georgina is happy she took their advice and loves the back but thinks the shoulders look a bit unfinished. Danielle thinks the structure is “sick”. Alyssa loves the 3D effects.
Isaac loves the idea of Char’s pants with a train and calls it divine. He’s never seen it before. Alyssa thinks the distressed top is thoughtful and the pants look like they got caught in a lawnmower. Char looks stunned. Georgina doesn’t see the design and hates the writing on the back. Calls it Party City.
Isaac wants to have lunch with Kelly because she is hysterical. I want to go to that lunch. Isaac loves the textile but doesn’t think the fishnets showed very well. Danielle is more drawn to the accessories than the garment. Georgina thinks the headphones were too much and Isaac says there are 12 step programs for over-accessorizing.
Georgina loves Ari’s dress and Isaac thinks it’s fabulous. Alyssa thinks she created her own lace. Isaac thinks she overdid it a bit with the blowtorch.
Anthony WINS!! He is obviously thrilled and everyone within a five block radius hears it. Just when I think Flat Stanley is going home they send Kelly home. What WHAT? Kelly? Nooooo! Do you guys agree with the outcome? As of next week Les will be back and hopefully things calm down in my household. Happy New Year!!!!!!!!
HAHAHA- Flat Stanley. That was a wild story he told!!!!
I do NOT agree with who went home. CHAR should have gone home for that tacky shit! I was fine with Kelly going too. BUT MY STANLEY SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN IN THE BOTTOM AT ALL! I loved his look. It was not the worst at all.
That said, I’m glad you are back and things are trying to get on track for you.
I actually agreed with Isaac when he said it was one of the best runways ever. I was not optimistic when they announced what the challenge was, but it actually turned out great.
I am a huge fan of the color olive and shocked that the judges have liked it twice so far (except for Isaac who did a complete 180 on the subject this week) every other season they have hated the color.
I’m changing my lowest score to Char. Stills was bored by Stanley’s but she made a costume.
Normally I am thrilled with beating my writers into submission, but that is mostly an Erica of The Voice fame. lol.
In this case, I think I just caught CJ at a weak moment, So I feel kind of bad, I mean, I’m right of course, but still. 🙂
I was happy Anthony won – his design was innovative and the model rocked it on the runway. Good choice. I also liked Ari’s red, “lacy” dress, but the part I liked the most was what the judges liked least. Char’s outfit was boring and didn’t show much imagination – she should have gone home without a doubt, but I think Kelly’s trashy, over-accessorized mess of a design should have sent her home too. As for Stanley, I’m not a lover of olive green – but that’s a hangup of mine due to a mom who got it into her head that it was my favorite color back in the 60’s and (being a well brought up young girl who wouldn’t have dreamed of going against her mum’s choices) ended up with way too much olive green in her life. It wasn’t just the color, I thought the design was drab and didn’t look in the slightest bit apocalyptic. Like someone a bit off who raided a trunk in her grandmother’s attic, found a moth-eaten dress and wore it to a school dance. Stanley deserved to stay this week, barely, but I think he really needs to up his game.
Completely agreed with the rest of your recap, CJ – thank you for doing it with your life being so turned around for a while. Hope your mom is OK and that your dog stays close to you. Funny how they sometimes find their way home, just when you’ve given up. When I was a little girl we had a cocker spaniel that my mother had to give to someone else because it was a bit of a nervous pee-er, and she was an immaculate housekeeper who didn’t like that. They drove it to its new home 10 miles away, and dropped it off. Next thing we knew, the people called and said the dog has gone missing. We went over there and searched, but nothing. Two weeks later it showed up at our front door, having somehow found its way home through the New Forest area (moors and huge areas of pine trees). It was really skinny, bedraggled and had bleeding paws – my mum and dad felt so sorry for it they kept the dog and nursed it back to health. The new owners didn’t care because it had chewed up their wedding album and slippers and peed on their sofa. Dogs are smart.
English rose you always have the best stories. This dog one is tops though
Thank you, Lisak. I’m embarrassed to say they’re all true.
Thank you for the recap CJ. Its not just you! there is something about the show that does seem low rent, I can’t but my finger on it but I think its a combination of Alyssa and the woman from Marie Claire. Plus no Tim Gunn authentic realness and compassion.
The voices in my head (code for something…I’m not crazy!) said the Yolanda show was surprisingly good, I decided to take a look ready to snark, and I actually really enjoyed it. Will tune in again next week. Yolanda was dare I say it – great! Notwithstanding, I think its disappointing to see such young girls in a model house. We need a show about girls coding and dreaming of being the next big thing in Silicon Valley or Shenzhen (as China may win the tech war) or dreaming of going to Oxford or Cambridge. But c’est la vie!
The distressed gone with the wind dress……get out!!
Anthony’s prayer before lighting his blowtorch was one of the best moments in Project Runway ever. He’s a treasure.
The judging has been really weird. I feel like all of my top outfits so far have been “safe.” Joshua’s target dress should have been this week’s winner, imo. And Helen’s dress was COOL. I also loved Ari’s beautiful fire gown.
The judges also missed some disasters! Candace’s wacky circus jumpsuit should have sent her straight to the bottom. Kimberly’s was also ugly and misshapen. Agreed Kelly’s was the worst, but does she have to leave us so soon? Well, at least she’ll have her lunch with Isaac…
Um… “Big name designers are bringing back distressing…”?
When was this filmed? 2013??? Project Five Seasons Ago Runway? It’s literally about to die… anyway…
Perhaps the reason that nothing was “so hideous it stood out” to you is because it all blended together in one great, big hideousness extravaganza and you could just pick one. I mean, who knew the only means of distressing was burning shit? “She’s a fire princess.” “She was at the opera in a fire.” One was an actual fucking firefighter. We get it, you bunch of pyros. Fucking hell. Go acid wash something. Calm down.
The only ones that didn’t look like a craft project from a Institution for Disturbed Children were Candice, Merline and Joshua.
Honourable mention to Alyssa’s Papier Maché Dystopian Distressed Maternity Doily that she was wearing. Also why can she prounounce “Merline” with the correct French inflection but she doesn’t know how to say “forward”? This bitch… ?
Kelly was robbed. Again. Should have been the cut price Halloween outfit that went home. TASTE LEVELS. But her outfit WAS shit. And looking on her website for Rak Addik she really does have questionable taste. What happened?
“institution for Disturbed Children” LOL LOL LOL. Perfection, and Alyssa’s “Papier Mache Dystopian Distressed Maternity Doily”? You have a definite way with words. I feel kind of bad, I just thought she was getting a little chunky.
I genuinely still can’t figure out if that is the case or they’re just dressing her awfully…
Last all stars season it was both.. Alyssa was with child AND they dressed her awfully.
In 2018 is there really any excuse for looking badly dressed at ANY size on a show about The Fushunz?
Maybe they’ll style her better going FOWWARD.
Maybe it is in the contract that the host must have an accent and Alyssa is trying to sort of emulate Heidi?
Mark did they have The Fashion Fund in UK?
No they did not… but I am intrigued!!! This sounds like it could be worthy of a binge…
It’s an old series worth seeking out. It’s a show tracking the CFDA award. It’s a pure show about real fashion. Which is probably why it didn’t last.
Stanley is more old school stlye to me classic.. Stanley does design costumes.
Char’s was the worst strange doesn’t make fashion.
Kelly shouldn’t of left she was liked her season til the show at Fashion week . ,maybe they wanted to stop her retro designs. I sure didn’t see end of world in her design. I just wish she would of stayed a little longer
I am really liking Merlene’s designs even if she is a little annoying.
I agree the host Alyssa just doesn’t fit this show. No Tim is a double damn.
I just didn’t want Kelly to go!!! Curse the urge to use headphones; that was the death sentence.
I have said forever.. Why is Alyssa there??
I always want Tim there and don’t like the so called mentor. And is she also a judge.
Anthony bonding with the blowtorch was priceless.
Loved this episode! The runway show was oddly beautiful. The only weak look was from Kelly, so she deserved to be sent packing. Anthony totally deserved the win. What an amazing looking dress! You could really see his post-apocalyptic story in that garment. That dress is one of my favorite looks I’ve ever seen on a Project Runway. Yay Anthony!
Didn’t get the challenge, ruining clothes doesn’t make sense. The only reason :I tune into these shows is
to see the clothes, which sometimes are genius. I cannot stand Alyssa, she has no connection to fashion.
I enjoy Anthony, he has a lovely personality, and he’s a good designer. Calling these people “All-Stars”
is kind of a reach. They are just people that were on previous seasons. I guess I like to see new designers
with fresh points of view. I hate to be too critical, since if anyone ever told me I had to create a dress I
couldn’t do it if my life depended on it. But, then my snarky side leaks out, and I’m critical again. Oh well.
About Allyssa… speaking of post-apocalypse… I remember reading (or seeing on ENews?) that when Alyssa was on an episode of Fashion Police that she impressed HARVEY WEINSTEIN, who turned to Georgina and said something about how she would be great to host PR Allstars. (Reminded me of pervy Alfred Hitchcock in “The Girl” regarding Tippy Hendren, who he tormented for years.) Looking back, Alyssa is way better than either of the past hostesses, which is not saying much. I was impressed with her comments and presence on Fashion Police, but not so much on this show. Perhaps as a hostess, at least she can read lines, but NOT for her fashion opinions. DEF NOT for her fashion! Whoever dresses her should meet the fashion apocalypse! *** Char’s outfit should have gotten her tossed! So unintentionally tacky. At least Kelly’s was original and SHE is a delight to have around. She is such a unique person and does not have to be snarky to get our attention. Miss her already.
About Allyssa… speaking of post-apocalypse… I remember reading (or seeing on ENews?) that when Alyssa was on an episode of Fashion Police that she impressed HARVEY WEINSTEIN, who turned to Georgina and said something about how she would be great to host PR Allstars. (Reminded me of pervy Alfred Hitchcock in “The Girl” regarding Tippy Hendren, who he tormented for years.) Looking back, Alyssa is way better than either of the past hostesses, which is not saying much. I was impressed with her comments and presence on Fashion Police, but not so much on this show. Perhaps as a hostess, at least she can read lines, but NOT for her fashion opinions. DEF NOT for her fashion! Whoever dresses her should meet the fashion apocalypse! *** Char’s outfit should have gotten her tossed! So unintentionally tacky. At least Kelly’s was original and SHE is a delight to have around. She is such a unique person and does not have to be snarky to get our attention. Miss her already.
Sorry about double posting, TT. It only happens on this site. The color doesn’t change on the “Post Comment” button the first time and it sits there for a long time and turns black again. Then it changes quickly the next time, and posts twice. UPDATE: it did it again. The going back to black and not posting just happened again. Hitting the button a second time after waiting… fingers crossed it only posts once.
Sorry about double posting, TT. It only happens on this site. The color doesn’t change on the “Post Comment” button the first time and it sits there for a long time and turns black again. Then it changes quickly the next time, and posts twice. UPDATE: it did it again. The going back to black and not posting just happened again. Hitting the button a second time after waiting… fingers crossed it only posts once.
Sorry about double posting, TT. It only happens on this site. The color doesn’t change on the “Post Comment” button the first time and it sits there for a long time and turns black again. Then it changes quickly the next time, and posts twice. UPDATE: it did it again. The going back to black and not posting just happened again. Hitting the button a second time after waiting… fingers crossed it only posts once.
I think Alyssa looks better turned out this year. At least the folks styling her don’t seem to have a personal vendetta against her this season.
The hair and clothes are overall more sleek and less fussy. Must be hard to dress a tiny woman with a big rack, but this is a show about fashion design, right?
They do seem to cheap out on this show, and Alyssa’s styling exemplifies that.
As for the Gunn sub, she’s nervous, but her critiques are good. I am sure she will shake off the nerves eventually.
“Georgina blissfully unaware her entire life is about to blow up.” LOL.
I enjoy the show but miss Tim and Heidi.