By CJ Bomb
Hello dear ones. I’m sorry I missed you the first week. 2018 has proven to be a challenging year already, but the challenges have had good outcomes so I’m making that my focus. Our beloved dog ran away from her caregiver and had an adventure in the south Georgia woods for six nights giving everyone a heart attack She strolled back in on the seventh day acting confused as to why we were all freaking out. Someone I love very dearly then sustained an injury, BUT if she takes care of herself (I’m watching YOU Mom) will not require surgery. So ugly things happening with beautiful resolutions, much like tonight’s episode.
I have to say I was very excited by this group of designers. I LOVE me some Melissa Fleis and Helen for design and adore Anthony and Kelly from the Deli for their humor. After FINALLY watching the first episode I texted Lovely Les and asked, “Is it just me, or does this season seem to be a little low-rent?” She pointed out that they are using INTERMIX and Rodial so at least that is a step up. A huge step. I still don’t get Alyssa Milano as a host. I don’t get her style, I don’t understand how she wound up on a fashion based show. I just don’t get it. Anne F and Issac M have also decided to be hardasses this year. Ummmm….Yay?
We start this episode with Alyssa in the workroom and caution tape and forms everywhere. She tells them the workroom is a mess and that she’s going to clean it up. She then proceeds to spray the designers with a fire extinguisher. How is this cleaning anything up? Anthony worries the chemicals in his hair with react badly and blow up the whole building. Is this an unconventional challenge? Already? Nope. Apparently it is now a trend that designers are embracing distressed designs to create “post-apocalyptic” fashion. I keep thinking of Zoolander and Mugatu’s Derelicte collection. They have to use two different techniques to distress their garments and there are all sorts of weapons of fashion destruction to achieve this. There has to be some backstory of what the model has survived on the way to the runway and they have one day and $200 at Mood. This is either going to be awesome or a total disaster.
Char is doing an outfit for a “fly firefighter” who will be running towards danger rather than away from it. Merline is doing a dress for a half woman/half other species of the future wearing a dress that is in actuality a map…..to get a key….to get to the power. Kelly’s girl is an ice princess who is sick of the cold so she goes to a rave in the desert and dances so hard she sets the world on fire, CREATING the apocalypse. Anthony’s Gambian princess is at a ball where she finds out the world is ending, but she still has “regal-ness”. Stanley’s girl got caught in a fire. Way to create that backstory Stanley. Ari’s woman has survived volcanic eruption when all the tectonic plates in the world shift. She says she is used to using this techniques and seems very confident. Love her sketch.
In the workroom people are fraying, painting, burning. Helen smartly asks if bleach is flammable before taking a torch to something. Char is confused as to why Merline won last week because she doesn’t get Merline’s aesthetic. I like Char. I do. I just don’t like her as a designer. Merline is working on a 3D garment and wisely consults Ari as she has never done one before.
When Helen started she was working out of her parents basement, now she has a studio in Midtown Manhattan. She has so much more confidence which is why she’s back. I DO like Helen’s work very much. I hope she doesn’t get the bitch edit. Stanley is excited because he was on the awful TEAMS season of PR and this is the first time he gets to work on his own. Kelly is creating a very wild textile for her bodice. Ken points out this challenge is hard for most designers because they are there to make beautiful things, not rip them apart. Anthony is having a very hard time. I really don’t want Anthony kicked off just yet. Joshua calls him a precious lady and totally gets why this has thrown him for a loop.
Yolanda has a modeling show? And no one can say apocalyptic?
Anne comes in for the critique. She’s not sure about Char’s firefighter outfit, but Char knows it’s going to be awesome. She congratulates Merline on her win and Merline tells her it was due to her advice. On this show we call that FORESHADOWING Char. She tells Merline her look is a basic shift dress right now, but she likes where she is going. She points out just how much work Ari has created for herself. She tells Melissa to make sure that the judges can see her distressed details. She wisely tells Kimberly there is a difference between “mess and distress”. She tells Edmund he needs to rip his look up a little and he points out that that is the hard part as they work so hard on these garments. Amanda is worried she hasn’t done enough and Anne says she doesn’t see ANY distressing. Candice says she’s NEVER distressed anything in her life and Anne tells her to “go bold”. She tells Stanley not to make his look “pretty prom dress”. She grabs one of Helen’s tools and nearly sets her table on fire. Joshua has made a target bodysuit and plans on shooting it with a paintball gun. This gets Anne all excited and off they go for target practice. She loves the effect. Kelly has spent all her time on her bodice textile and as Kimberly points out, the bottom doesn’t look like she has gone far enough. Anne tells Anthony he needs to create a narrative to understand how he gets to his final look. Anthony gets it and is re-energized. Before Anne leaves she says she has been so inspired she might just put the winning look in Marie Claire.
Char says that even though Anne thinks her look might veer into costume territory, she’s going to stick to her original plan. So that’s one person in the bottom three. Anthony lighting a torch is the funniest thing I will see today. The models come in and everyone seems on track fit-wise. Amanda loves Kelly’s vibe but she ALSO worries she’s not distressing enough. I think Kelly is out second person in the bottom three.
Everyone is frantically adding finishing touches to their garments. Stanley is way behind. Anthony has been fully converted and calls himself “The Distresser” as he created a net turban to complete his look. Amanda doesn’t get Char’s look as it is distressed but not burnt, and wouldn’t a firefighter be burnt?. Kelly has made glitter headphones, because…Kelly.
Judges Isaac and Georgina are there of course; Georgina blissfully unaware her entire life is about to blow up. Isaac is wearing a poodle pin and a cravat. Interesting choices. The guest judge is Danielle Brooks from Broadway and Orange is the New Black. I’m loving her makeup.
Candice’s look is a woman who was in her pajamas when the shit went down. I don’t think that is the actual backstory, but that is what I’m getting. Ok, I love the CONCEPT of pants with a train (for a runway) but that is the only good thing about Char’s look. The back looks silly. LOVE Helen’s look. Love the cape and it fits beautifully. Ken’s also is looking fabulous. I love the bottom. Kimberly’s dress moves a little too stiffly for me. Kelly’s look is fun but this woman looks like she’s at a rave, not an post-apocalyptic rave. I’ve been at both…big difference. Amanda’s cape looks like Pocahontas met a shredder. I hate the jumpsuit. Ari’s dress is flowy and cool at the same time. The construction is perfect. I think Joshua’s coat is very cool. I’m not sure about the target underneath. The coat would win an Avant Garde challenge. Which this kind of is. Merline’s look is awesome. She took last week’s critique to heart and everything is very sharp. It’s a futuristic take on a LBD. I don’t love Fabio’s sculpted pantsuit. It is nicely made but a bit boring. If an eighties prom dress and a Rick Owens dress had a baby, it would be Edmond’s dress. Getting Thierry Mugler. Stanley’s is boring. Melissa’s woman looks like she is ready to take on some fuckng ZOMBIES. That is a compliment. Anthony’s comes out and everyone is wowed. Myself included. It’s stunning.
My top three: Melissa, Anthony and Helen, with Anthony for the win. My bottom three: Char, Stanley and Amanda with Stanley to go home.
Isaac says this is the best runway he’s ever seen. So not boring. It actually was pretty awesome. Nothing was so hideous it stood out.
Anthony explains his princess from Gambia was at the Met Gala when the world ended. Georgina loves it and Anthony squeals. She thinks it is elegant and balanced. Danielle says she could have watched it on the runway for another five minutes. Isaac says that sometimes distressing can “go a little dirty” but that this is fresh as a daisy. Isaac tells him he has to know what he’s capable of after Anthony says he doesn’t usually embrace the sexiness. This concerns Isaac as Anthony knocked it out of the park and he doesn’t even realize it.
Stanley’s woman went to the opera. There was a fire. The story is as boring as the dress. Georgina loves the bottom not the top. Danielle thinks its too perfect but she likes the color. Alyssa thinks the color from the burn marks is beautiful. Isaac hates the color and uses the term swamp thing.
Merline explains her backstory and Isaac loves it. He gets it through the dress. Georgina is happy she took their advice and loves the back but thinks the shoulders look a bit unfinished. Danielle thinks the structure is “sick”. Alyssa loves the 3D effects.
Isaac loves the idea of Char’s pants with a train and calls it divine. He’s never seen it before. Alyssa thinks the distressed top is thoughtful and the pants look like they got caught in a lawnmower. Char looks stunned. Georgina doesn’t see the design and hates the writing on the back. Calls it Party City.
Isaac wants to have lunch with Kelly because she is hysterical. I want to go to that lunch. Isaac loves the textile but doesn’t think the fishnets showed very well. Danielle is more drawn to the accessories than the garment. Georgina thinks the headphones were too much and Isaac says there are 12 step programs for over-accessorizing.
Georgina loves Ari’s dress and Isaac thinks it’s fabulous. Alyssa thinks she created her own lace. Isaac thinks she overdid it a bit with the blowtorch.
Anthony WINS!! He is obviously thrilled and everyone within a five block radius hears it. Just when I think Flat Stanley is going home they send Kelly home. What WHAT? Kelly? Nooooo! Do you guys agree with the outcome? As of next week Les will be back and hopefully things calm down in my household. Happy New Year!!!!!!!!