Oh! Joy! Two Watch What Happens Live recaps where there is no non-Bravo guest! That’s like a half hour reunion recap where everyone talks non-stop and most all of it needs to be reported. Let’s get to it and pray for a pointless game!
Andy asks if Teresa stole Melissa’s look blond hairstyle. She says no but Melissa nods yes.
Teresa says that Margaret’s party (that she ditched) might have been the best party she has ever been to. It reminded her of the movie Eyes Wide Shut. This causes Andy to point out on national television, “I mean we all know why, but you are hornier than you have ever been.” Andy literally can’t make it two minutes into the show without making highly sexually inappropriate comments. Then he asks how long it has been. She says two years. Wow, has it been that long? Time flies. Then he asks her if she has “one of those rabbits.” Seriously, he may want to visualize Teresa masturbating, but doesn’t mean we do. Besides. word on the curb is she has been dating the entire two years. Teresa says she has a Lilo vibrator.
So off we go to talk about Siggy breaking her foot. Suddenly, Teresa interrupts to say that Milania found her Lilo and threw it in the pond in front of her house. This just keeps getting more and more crude and disgusting.
Andy asks Teresa if the party was so great, why did she leave with Siggy. She says she felt bad for her. She says she is good with everyone and loves Margaret and she didn’t really want to leave all the fun.
Andy says he was confused about whether or not she got an apology from Joe. That’s because she told the camera two different things. She seems to be lying again when she says she did. Andy also wants to know why it took her eight months to visit her husband in prison. She says it was because she was taking care of her mom. She is giving another story now. I’m pretty sure she said that the one time she tried to go visit Joe prior to the visit we saw, she had to turn around because her MOM got sick. This time she says she had to turn around because her DAD got sick. She is having a really hard time keeping her stories straight. She says that there was a “chicken pock” breakout there in the PRISON! SHE SAID PRISON! Anyway she said that shut it down for a month and then they stopped visitation for another month because they found contraband. She keeps asking Melissa to back up her story, so she does.
Andy wanted to know what it was like after not seeing him for so long. She says she missed him, but she really doesn’t enjoy going there. Even when she was in prison she said she told Joe not to come. Andy of course asks about conjugal visits.
The first sneak peek at the reunion was more of the same old bitching. On the second sneak peek, they clearly had no budget left for a set, it’s looks like it’s shot in front of green screen. Anyway, Kim D. comes out and you can tell Teresa is pissed. Andy’s leans over to Teresa and very sternly says, “Don’t get off that couch!” Teresa tells Kim D. “I thought this was Real Housewives of New Jersey not Tales From The Crypt.” Kim D. says if Teresa messes with her, she will go right back to jail. Teresa stands up.
A caller asks them what their biggest regret of the season was. Teresa wonders what regrets are, because they require genuine emotions. Melissa says she regrets staying at Siggy’s party after she publicly humiliated her in front of all the guest. She can’t believe she stayed and had a glass of wine. She should have left immediately. Teresa still seems confused about regrets. Melissa suggest perhaps saying that she was only Gorga by injection? Teresa just laughs and mutters something about her mother dying. Then she pretends like she regrets the remark to Melissa.
Teresa has apologized to Danielle’s other daughter and it went well.
A caller wants to know their reactions to Siggy leaving the show and if they have spoken to her since. Teresa says she talks to Siggy every day. She wasn’t surprised to see her go. Melissa says she wasn’t surprised either. It was too much for Siggy.
They let a caller through to ask about her Instagram photo with her divorce attorney with the caption, getting great advice. She later changed the caption, you can read all about that here. Andrew is pretending like this is the first he has heard of it. Teresa immediately starts saying it was her friend and Melissa was there too. Oh really. I must have missed the photos that Melissa was in. Teresa turns to Melissa a lot lately when she is backed into a corner. But Melissa doesn’t help her out at all. Melissa says she happened to be out in the same restaurant with friends that night and ran into Teresa unexpectedly. She said she asked what she was doing there in workout clothes and boots. Teresa said she was running late. Melissa had no idea who she was with. She asked who her friend was. Teresa replied, “She’s a divorce attorney.” I mean that just about sums it up! Teresa is now trying to say that she was out to dinner with her to post a photo on her Instagram to help her get business for her practice. Really. I think she is a pretty popular high-priced lawyer. I think you were helping yourself get a discount for services she is currently rendering. Andy makes it clear that the lies are not making sense.
Teresa is a horrible liar and Melissa is even worse at trying to help her lie. But when it comes to Melissa lying about herself, the word roll off her tongue like butter. She says the lines have been out the door at Gorga’s and they took the name down this week. They need new management and a bigger location. Why is this Gorga by injection answering this rather than the “owner” sitting right there? Have they already forgotten the storyline. Details of this BS story are here. She actually just said on TV that that location is not theirs and told people NOT TO GO THERE. She is already being sued for this situation, and that comment right there will simply add to their troubles.