Here we go with the penultimate episode of this shit show. Oddly, I have been secretly watching The Bachelor tonight, since the fabulous Lady C is covering Vanderpump Rules. Now it’s time to watch this shitty knockoff of the show. It’s been a day of one calamity after another, so somehow this show seems fitting.
When we pick back up, Bella is explaining to Shep that she has been called back to work, and she’s going to have to go. Shep immediately starts putting pressure on her to stay, and basically making her second guess keeping her job. Which is ridiculous because this is all a farse. As they are having a very serious conversation, production sends the dolphin over with two pieces of cake. She presents them both to him saying she thought he should have his cake and eat it two. God I despise this creature. Why is she on this show?
Sarah tells Shep that he has three women left and he has to make a decision. Meanwhile, Bella is thinking of going to NYC and then flying back to see him.
Cameran and Shep go shopping for $5,000 lawnmowers. I should point out that Shep has a beach house. There are hardly any blades of grass on the property. The beach side is sand, and the rest of it has a ton of concrete for parking on and like a little area or two with some palm trees. No one has a lawnmower. They have a lawn service. The guy comes and cuts what little bit of grass there may be, tends to the palm trees, and trims hedges and such. Why is this show so ridiculous?
After trying out the lawnmower, which was nothing more than a commercial for the store, he and Cameron are sitting outside on lawnmowers talking about the girls. Shep’s foot cannot stay still. He seems really amped up on something. Shep is finally realizing that Kylie and her goals of being Miss USA don’t fit in with his plan.
Kylie leaves for NYC but not before letting the other girls know Shep really didn’t want her to leave. I’m trying to figure out what beach they are on. I know it is not IOP where Shep lives. The last three girls confront Shep about his feeling for Bella. He tells them they are all “rad.” For the last place, each of the last three girls will have their own apartment. So it’s time for the overnight bang card.
Shep and Peyton talk by the pool while Priscila and Kylie make breakfast. Shep wants to do a body shot. Priscila doesn’t see why Shep is interested in Peyton. I do. She’s young, dumb, and into him. Or at least into him enough to try to be on Southern Charm. After all, isn’t this really one big casting call for the role of Shep’s girlfriend? Why yes, yes it is.
The next day, Petyon heads off to her new apartment without telling anyone goodbye. Shep takes Priscila shopping on Meeting Street. I’m sad that I don’t know any of these places anymore. Charleston has gotten really, really fancy and expensive. When I was a kid I used to go camping on Isle of Palms with my parents. I think it was called Sand Dollar Campground. Those who are familiar with present day Isle of Palms are probably familiar with Wild Dunes, the huge fancypants gated resort that is on my beloved camp ground now. Shep buys them both new shirts. Shep almost looks washed in this clean shirt. I am not happy with the rooftop restaurant. Beef carpaccio ? Who orders that in Charleston? Priscila says she wonders what he is like as a boyfriend. Shep wonders the same. Priscila points out that a 37-year-old man who doesn’t know what he would be like as a boyfriend is a huge red flag. Priscila makes out with him anyway. This is a casting couch after all.
We cut to an exterior shot of what is purported to be Shep’s house. Not a single blade of grass in the front yard. Nary a one. Then we see Shep at a dunk tank. My mother consistently told me from a young age that I had no athletic ability. She said I could not hit the broad side of a barn with a ball. I was seven. She should have told Shep that as well. He was nowhere close to hitting the target. I also don’t think this date is actually in Charleston. When Peyton shows up, he actually manages to dunk the girl. Apparently, they are in Charleston at a Riverdogs Baseball Game. Shep is drunk and obnoxious. I think I’d take beef carpaccio over this. They shockingly make it on to the “Kiss Cam” Then Peyton and Shep take their bag of boiled peanuts and beach chairs to watch the fireworks from centerfield. Did I mention Shep is drunk as hell?
The next morning, Shep calls Kylie and asks her out for a boat cruise. His leg bounced like crazy the entire phone call. Kylie is terrified of water so this should be fun for her. She’s never been on a boat in the ocean before. She doesn’t know how to swim. Shep continues to wonder at Kylie’s naiveté. She’s barely 21 Shep. You could be her dad. Shep tells Sarah that there could not be anyone more unlike Shep. She needs to get to steppin’. Shep tells Kylie that his is like a pirate going causing trouble and breaking rules. Kylie is straight-laced. He needs a partner in crime. Kylie is 21 and thinks she could have fixed him.
And then there were two. And I am mericfully done in time to watch my Dawgs win the national championship. I was super distracted by the game and that is the cause of the extra typos.
HOW BOUT THEM DAWGS?!!!!
All I could think of the entire episode was Shep looking so belly-paunchy, pasty-pale and sweaty as he headed in his rumpled tee-shirt to the three women on the beach. I know I sound mean – but – seriously. This is the humanoid who is demanding that all others measure up to his high but reasonable standards? Not to mention his intellectual prowess? (“Linen is always a good idea”). And his question is not “Who is he falling in love with”? But “Who can he see himself taking home to his ‘mommy’?” Run, ladies! Run! I think I’d rather wear sackcloth and ashes, let alone linen.
100% agree with every word.
I haven’t watched this episode yet but love the write ups.
I actually like Peyton. Mostly because she called out the BS about the whole set up early on, when she complained about having to compete for his attention on a group date. Yes, Peyton, it is BS that all you pretty girls have to squabble over one Man Child, while he has no competition to worry about. It would have been more interesting if she had made a move toward the door, but hey, then she wouldn’t get all the camera exposure.
I guess this was filmed before gross JD lost Gentry and Elisabeth filed for divorce?
Elisabeth filed for divorce? I thought he just renamed the restaurant. Apparently, I have much catching up to do.
Tamara, it’s funny you mention you’ve been secretly watching the Bachelor because I have too.
What was the time line of this show because as @ Dorinda’s Pajamas mentioned, I too thought JD and Elisabeth either divorced or started the process kind of early in 2017 and that he lost the Gentry so when it appeared in tonight’s episode it was odd.
Another odd point from this episode is when Kylie arrived at her apartment I immediately thought it was where Kathryn lived a season or so ago but maybe I’m wrong there too.
Not sure why I’ve been watching this though because let’s be honest, who really thinks that Shep is EVER going to settle down? LOL
Thank god Kylie escaped unscathed! I loved her – she was very refreshing and sweet. She deserves much better than Shep. What does he have to offer anyone, afterall? Money? Whoever he ends up with is going to realize quickly that there is a lot missing.. they will end up being married to a strung out partyboy. He does seem like he is coked up ALL the time, with the shaking leg thing. He told Peyton the other day that his mom calls him a ragamuffin when he looks messy- yes, that describes his constant state of being – not his occasional look. Ugh! I used to like him on early Southern Charm episodes, but I am over him and just can’t see how anyone would want him…I have to point out that Peyton looks exactly like the cartoon sister of Phinneas and Ferb, if you ever watched that show. Her name was Candace. I wish I knew how to attach a picture. She is the spitting image, and she even acts like her!! lol Ugh…lets get this show over with, NOW : )
Does Shep have dentures? It looks like his top row of front teeth are false.
He should lift some weights instead of day drinking.
Bella was my favorite. Thank god she bailed.
I think he’s going to NYC and get Bella. They have made it pretty clear he’s not choosing Peyton or Priscilla. He has A LOT of growing up to do!
I just have to say to everyone calling out the bouncing leg, it could just be a nervous energy habit. The nervous leg bounce runs in my family and it has zero to do with ingesting copious amounts of “substance”. That’s not to say Shep isn’t partaking, just to say the leg/foot bounce isn’t necessarily an indication of it. Also, I really can’t see him with any of the girls left. Even party girl Peyton, who is a more dramatic and angry version of Shep, seems super awkward with him, but I love Priscilla, you can tell she is just waiting for whatever comes out of his mouth next to see if he’ll give her more ammo to roast him with.
Maybe zero to do with in your family (maybe) but it is a common side effect of certain psychiatric drugs, aderrall, coke, meth, etc.
I assume you are implying it’s possible that those in my family with the bouncing leg might be on drugs because it is a common side effect of them, but I also have several family members who definitely use meth and other drugs and only one of them has the bouncing leg and has had it, I know, since well before the drug use started. As for the rest of us, it’s just something we do and laugh about when we realize we’re all doing it in unison, not a side effect of drugs (no, not even maybe). I was simply saying maybe he could have been nervous and not necessarily on something at the time, who really knows.
(if you are Andy Cohen, then it definitely has to do with the coke, lol! just kidding…)
I agree with the doesn’t have to be drugs biz. We all do it and always have, completely independent of any substances other than the elixir of boring company.
Shep wants someone who will give up their own life to enmesh themselves into his life. Move to his city, hangout with his friends, do what he wants to do. I’m glad Bella chose her career over him and Im glad he let Kylie go live her life. Both would have been expected to give up their dreams. All that being said, I think Peyton is perfect for him.
How did this guy get a show? What’s the point? We don’t think he’s actually going to seriously date one
of these women, do we? The ladies are in on the joke, aren’t they? Who would waste their time on this
loser? He has money? From what source? His parents? So, an attractive, intelligent, educated woman
is going to hook up with this guy for the money? He is boring, slovenly, self-centered, lazy, and addicted
to whatever. What an awful future any woman would have, tied to this low-life. And, what an empty, boring
life I must have if I recorded it. Look in the mirror, old girl.
LOL – I agree. Is Shep really going to settle down? I don’t think so.
No one is perfect for Shep. He has a terminal case of arrested development – a man-boy who has made it through life by acting like an “aw shucks” aren’t I cute kind of guy. He may be educated, but it’s not translating into maturity, and I can’t imagine him finding someone who meets his “high standards” who would be willing to put up with his aging butt. He’s no catch, and it’s baffling why anyone would think this show was a good idea. The only type of woman who would want him, would either be after his money, or want to gain some degree of “fame” on a TV show. Sorry, Shep.
My 18 year old daughter and I looked at each other as we were watching this and she said how embarrassed these girls parents must be for them. How degrading and really, what is the prize. Priscilla seems intelligent but maybe hoping for her big “reality” break.
Am I hearing things or on last night’s episode did Priscilla actually say:
“The thing about Shep in Charleston is, you’re bound to run into a girl or a Jew that he’s banged along the way.”
“Into a girl or a few”
I went back and watched the section and the word she used was definitely not “few”. It still sounds like, “Jew”.
It is totally FEW. There aren’t an abundance of Jews in the south and the ones we do have would not sleep with Shep with Siggy Flicker’s cookie.
Actually there lots of Jews in Charleston and other cities in the South.
The article you linked to was thrilled to note that if they added all of the college students from other states into the statistics, then there were approximately nine thousand Jewish people in the Greater Charleston Area. The entire population of the area is one million people. That’s less than one percent of the population, which in my world is not “lots”
Sand Dollar Campground! I remember going there as a kid with my family, too. As I recall, we did find lots of sand dollars on the beach, and it had a good strong surf, too.
A pity all the wonderful little low key places are gone now. I had forgotten it, thanks for the trip down memory lane.
Thanks for remembering it with me, Anna!
On their first date in LA, I really liked Peyton and thought she would be a good fit for him because she’s southern too. But once I see her more, I really don’t like her–she’s not classy at all.
And Priscilla’s needling will get old soon enough.
I think Shep can be charming, but it has not helped him that his family has money–it has taken away his motivation, and that has kept him arrested at the frat-boy stage. He hasn’t made the transition to grown man.
I’m curious to see what happens with Bella when he gets to NYC.
I was just recalling that ridiculous Shakespeare date that he took one of the early contenders on – barf! I must say, I don’t think any of the two (or three, if you consider the one in NY) remaining contenders would have enjoyed that sh** show. Maybe he should take them each on a lovely Shakespeare date, to see how they will fare…? lol! Please, let this be over with!! : )
Do they not teach Shakespeare in school anymore? Youth is no excuse for being that ignorant… then again, “me and Joe” instead of “Joe and me — or I” and “squash a rumor” instead of “QUASH” and “enormity” from my beloved Obama, to mean “huge” instead of “great evil”… reality TV is destroying our language. Then again, language is fluid and ever-changing. But do we need to dumb it down?
I think Shep is going to pick Bella. In the previews, he has on his little traveling backpack that he most definitely does not wear around Charleston. The flower stand he stopped at reminded me of NYC also. I know he is a man child but I regretfully admit, I am dying to know which girl he picks and if she in return will deal with him as BF.
About the drugs comments. These accusations can ripple-affect pretty wide, please be careful. From one who DID –LONG AGO — ingest way too many: Leg-shaking is more of a nervous habit. Coke and meth use signs most often involve the facial tics, such as teeth grinding, jaw clenching, etc. That does NOT always indicate a person is using. Opioids, however, DO ALWAYS result in “pinned” pupils. People often suspect dilated pupils, but it is the opposite. When a flashlight — or flashbulb — shines in a person’s eyes, the pupils should contract. And when the light is taken off, the pupils should return to normal. On opioids, the pupils remain small. Check it out next time you or a friend have dental work and take a Vicodin. I don’t think Shep uses, just drinks. A lot. As for JD, I would have to watch again to make a decision, but alleging he does use Coke without proof… he has small children… it may seem cute to accuse, but not cute for his wife and kids.
One more thing… TT … The Dolphin! You kill me. How did Flipper not realize she was interrupting a private conversation? Oh, wait, she did! But she had such a clever line about having cake and eating it too that she just COULD NOT RESIST sharing it with the rest of us. She always looks out of place on this show. Oh, could she, could she, be trying to land her own spin-off? If so, I have the perfect name “The Golddigger.” Where a former debutante/LA wife and failed writer/webmaster/interior designer/real estate wannabe throws shade at a younger, prettier, smarter redhead and “pot – kettles” other women for attention-seeking and gold-digging behavior. And pays a “psychic diner” to call her second-choice rich boyman her soulmate!
I have always found Shep to be endearing. That said I feel his attitude about others intellectual and education levels reflect arrogance. Education is not always indicative of intelligence. I feel he will choose Bella. That way when the relationship does not progress the excuse can be age and location issues. Shep is afraid of missing out on who may be waiting in the wings. I pray I am wrong I would love to see him pass Thomas and Whitney and the childish skirt chasing.
Great prediction in light of the fact that he chose Bella on the episode which aired two days ago. LOL