Due to a family emergency, CJ is not going to be able to recap this episode so you are stuck with me. Hopefully, CJ and Les will be back with us next week.
This season begins with the eight rookies: Kimberly Goldson (S9), Stanley Hudson (S11), Amanda Valentine (S13), Char Glover (S13), Kelly Dempsey (S14), Edmond Newton (S14), Candice Cuoco (S14), Merline Labissiere (S14}standing in the middle of the NY Giants stadium.
The rookies pretend to be shocked when, Anthony Williams (S7, AS1), Joshua McKinley (S9, AS2), Casanova (S8, AS2), Ari South (S8, AS3),Melissa Fleis (S10,AS3), Fabio Costa (10.4), Helen Castillo (S12, AS4), Ken Laurence (S12, AS5) come out to take the field. Let the games begin!
After a ridiculously stupid team challenge, the veterans win a few extra bucks at mood and the chance to do a group collection of either spring or fall. They select spring, and the rookies will do fall. At mood, one of the few designers I actually remember says that his competitors have some “tacky shit” in their baskets. Ken needs to stick around as the season’s shade thrower.
No matter who they choose as the All Stars mentor, it always pisses me off that it’s not Tim Gunn. If we can’t have Tim Gunn, then why have the damn show at all? This year we got, Anne Fulenwider. They could not possibly have selected a crankier, more critical mentor. Tim Gunn mentors. Anne Fulenwider criticizes. She hates everything. The designers leave day one feeling defeated. Ken was right about some of the fabric choices.There is some really bad sewing happening everywhere. Everyone feels threatened by Ari’s sewing skills.
The vets all smack talk the Fall collection. Everyone seems to be having the usual time issues. Three are some barely sewn together pieces but everyone gets something on the runway.
Alyssa Milano introduces and Isaac Mizrahi promises to be super bitchy this season. Much to the surprise of the Veterans, the rookie team collection wins. Char, Merline and Edmond the top three. The bottom three are chosen from the vets team. Helen, Casanova and Ken are in the bottom. Please don’t send Ken home!
I don’t see how Edmond’s olive green, poorly sewn dress with shoulder pads that rival the women from Dynasty in size. Anthony trashed Edmond’s poor zipper sewing saying it looked like “scoliosis.” It’s going to be a weird judging season, y’all.
Char’s half cape dress ??!! is also ridiculous. Isaac loves it. Alyssa calls it a happy accident.
Merline’s dress is weird in a good way. They judges complain about her sewing. Really? I mean sure it is bad, but not any worse than the other two “winners.” Merline wins the first challenge.
I have no fucking idea how Helena got in the bottom. It was expertly sewn and miles above the top three in my opening. They thought it was too safe. Or something. I think they might all be high.
Cassanova made a nice top and then just kind of tacked together some strips of cloth to serve as pants. They were awful. He deserves to go home.
Ken was apparently mindfucked by Ann Fulenwider to screw up his power suit. Sent maternity pants down the runway with a vest that exposed the model’s navel. He will be lucky to survive this.
Thankfully Cassanova went home.
Sorry for the brevity. This was not on my agenda for the day. Saturday is my day off!