Floribama Shore: Drunken Words; Sober Thoughts

We begin this episode of Floribama Shore, just like we have begun all the others, in a bar, where a fight is happening. Nilsa is one again the person who instigated the fight. If you recall last week, Nilsa told Katrina that Jeremiah and Gus had a bet over who would get with Katrina first. That is so not what happened. It was simply the house speculating on who Katrina would choose. Nilsa is trying to throw Codi under the bus.

Katrina is crying for no reason other than she is blind drunk. Codi is going to take the fall for this one. Nilsa always gets out of everything. The next day Jeremiah is pissed with Codi.

It’s time for Aimee to learn a new word. She’s never heard the word “brewsky” before.

Then Codi gets a phone call to let him know his grandfather died. Everyone holds hands and says a prayer. Codi has a dramatic meltdown. Codi goes home for the funeral. Who will Nilsa blame her pot stirring on while he is gone.

Someone needs to rescue Gus from this house. I think he is the only decent person there. Even Jeremiah is turning out to be a bit off.

Everyone decides to invite their parents to the beach house. It looks like everyone’s parents except for Jeremiah’s will come. His brother, Josh, is coming to screw Nilsa again though. So there’s that. Gus points out to us, in case we missed it, that Nilsa has THOTish tendencies.

When Josh sees this show, do you think he will see the back of his head for the first time and do something to fix that shit?

Josh and Nilsa hang out in the tiny pool and Nilsa talks about her ex. She really does suck at life. OMG! Josh wants to call the date off because Nilsa still talks to her ex. Nilsa cries and starts saying she just wants to go home. Then she pathetically goes to the douchebag and tries to beg him to take her back. When he says no, Nilsa says she is going home. She goes to her room and throws her piles of booty shorts and thongs into a suitcase. The  horror of it all!

Out of respect for elders, I am not going to comment on Codi’s trip home.

Is this the last episode? God I hope so, there is too much on the night the show airs already. Everyone goes to the bar. Nilsa is already puking in the bathroom. The roommates are mortified by Jeremiah and Josh’s horrific dance moves. Kirk seems like he is going to pass out on an outdoor lawn chair. It’s business as usual.

Everyone manages to get home and Aimee starts prank calling he ex boyfriend. The boys are in the kitchen pointing out that this is exactly the behavior that lost Nilsa a romantic date playing putt putt with a guy who couldn’t be uglier if he had a butt cut. Kirk drunkenly states to no one in particular that he wishes that his roommates were real. Frankly, if I were Kirk I’d be wishing they were hallucinations that would disappear in the morning when he finally sobers up.

Kirk says that he is pissed that they are there for them to get over their exes and every time they drink, they call their exes. Aimee rants that she is there to hurt her ex and make him feel pain. Out of nowhere, Aimee goes batshit crazy and flings a plastic bottle of Hellmann’s at Kirk. What kind of Alabama redneck buys Hellmann’s?  How many more mental defects are there to discover about this girl? Then she charges Kirk and shoves him tits over ass across the coffee table.

Next week: Aimee tries to kill Kirk. And everyone’s ignorant drunk-assed parents so up to join the brawling. Clearly, stupid does not fall far from the tree. Looks like there is one more episode to go.