We’re going to VEGAS, BABY! I’ve been to Vegas two or three times and after each trip I say, okay, that’s the last time I’m going to do that. It’s been several years and I am finally starting to think about going back. I tend to stay in the same hotel and do the same things when I repeat vacation destinations. Somehow doing that makes it easier for me to get around town. I’m not even sure the hotel I used to stay at is even there anymore. It’s on the strip and has some Asian name. I always wasted enough money to get my rooms comped. I was almost never in my room. 🙂 I’d like to go to the Harrah’s in Cherokee, but my traveling has been curtailed by my hound dog.
Let’s get on with the show!
We begin where we left off as everyone gathers in the Presidential Suite currently presided over by Kyle and LVP as they prepare for their first group outing in Sin City. Rinna has just arrived. LVP and Rinna have such an odd relationship. LVP seems to like her, but is one of those friends that is always taking odd potshots and writing it off as British humor. In this instance she gives her a big hug and says that she has a bit of a cold that she would gladly give her. Rinna hugs Camille and then Dorit with the housewives greetings. It seem Rinna is making an effort with Dorit but Dorit is rightly skeptical.
Rinna tells us she is going to be the nicest person we’ve ever seen this season. Erika is taking her wardrobe all the way and channeling her Russian hooker tonight. She’s in a dominatrix outfit. I admire Adrienne for aging gracefully.
At dinner, Dorit takes it upon herself to announce to the table that Teddi’s father is John Cougar Mellencamp. Is she really that tasteless or did production give her that line? Either way, I would have refused to have said it, well until I’d had a few drinks. This pisses Teddi off right out of the gate.
The ladies are off to ride the ginormous ferris wheel that was apparently built since I have been there. #TimeFlies Dorit immediately turns to LVP and jokes about pushing someone (Rinna) off. Really bitch? She’s been very kind to you. She’s a STAR. Have some fucking respect.
Teddi is an accountability coach. She has been over 200 pounds. So now she works with other women to drop the weight. LVP and Dorit find an excuse to mock Rinna after she says she has a therapist. They are awful. On the other hand, Dorit is sucking up to Erika. And off to TAO they go. What the hell is Dorit’s issue with Rinna? She is trashing her in every talking head. All the birthday girls get shoutouts on the big screen.
I’m not going to talk about these phone calls with the kids. Because I have nothing kind to say. As much as I can’t stand Dorit. I am obsessed by her uber straight blond bob wig.
Rinna, Kyle and Camille head to the pool. Dorit, Erika and Teddi go to the Casino and buy in at 5K each. Teddi is very uncomfortable with that. Dorit makes it seem like she is paying. Teddi is very conservative with money as she was not given any financial support when she set out to Hollywood as a young adult. She learned the value of money. These other two are playing risky and fast. Dorit hit big on roulette.
Over at the pool, Kyle is talking about her trip to Europe with her family. Dorit and Erika have given it all back by the time LVP shows up. Teddi decides to head to the pool with her money. LVP, Erika and Dorit go shopping. LVP and Dorit both make up with Erika. Now isn’t that interesting. LVP is irritated that Erika doesn’t ever reach out to her.
God I hope one of the photos that Lady C pulled for me is of the get ups these three are wearing to shop. It’s a bizarre mix. Erika is in a track suit, Dorit is in pajamas and LVP is dressed for the boardroom.
Before the group reconvenes, Kyle has a sit down with Erika about the conversation she has with Harry Hamlin on a hiking trail the day after the reunion. At that time he asked her what she was going to do about the bunny incident at the reunion and how he thinks she should not ever be allowed on the show again. Kyle is a bit miffed about the conversation. Erika says she needs to get it off her chest, but to tread lightly.
It’s time for the High Roller and Kyle is scared to death of heights. I hate regular ferris wheels, but I would totally ride this. There is a bar in every pod! It’s so slow that I would need a potty. Kyle wasn’t afraid at all. THE RIDE IS FORTY MINUTES LONG! There is no escape. Apparently, it is bang away on Rinna time. Rinna and Dorit hug it out. Rinna is trying to set an example for her girls.
Next up, Kyle brings up the conversation she had with Harry. It’s a nothing burger and these two make up. LVP seems to be fine with Rinna now too. After forty minutes on the high roller, everyone loves everyone.
So they all go out for drinks and play with ice dildos. Ky;e has to bail because she is off to Croatia with her family and her very hot, very rich, husband. #LifeGoals
The conversation turns to “growing up Mellencamp” and Erika says she didn’t meet her father until she was 25. I don’t mean this is in a mean way, but that explains A LOT about many aspects of Erika’s life, and how our childhood shapes us. Erika addresses the marrying a father figure by saying her husband is much older than her father. But it is not just that. It’s the over the top need for men to appreciate her. I’m just glad she has the money to get that by performing for gay men. But I am here to say, you can get love from gay men without putting on a persona. Most gay men are very loving people. At least the ones I call my friends. And the thing about surrounding yourself with gay men is that it is a very safe zone with few exceptions. And their kindness is for no reason and with no price tag. It’s a really great safe place, so I totally get her profession.
Oh noe. I do not care for Rinna trying new hairstyles in her talking head. I need her to stop doing that. This hairstyle has worked just fine over the decades. Let it be.
Somehow, Teddi and Erika already don’t like each other. I’m going to need Johnny to splain this to me.
Teddy and Dorit meet on the final day for breakfast.
Next Week: Erika has TV therapy. That is disappointing.
*typos sponsored by Black Box Merlot