Tonight we finally go to Milan where things got really heated. Dolores and Siggy are an island unto themselves at this point. It seems that Teresa and Melissa and are finally locked in as an impenetrable duo. We already know that the whole crew makes such a scene that they get thrown out of a restaurant. I wonder if that happens tonight or next week.
Sidenote: I have a post in my drafts about Siggy going nuts ever since the reunion. Not sure I will ever get it up as I a trying to be lazy for the holidays, but suffice it so say that Siggy is furious with Margaret. Also, I have found out about something concerning Dolores and Siggy that I will never share, but let’s just say it makes me see them both in an unflattering light.
Melissa claims this is a business trip. As if she is going to be on a buying trip. Already with the insane scripting. I don’t even think Margaret is going to be on a business trip. But the real situation is that Siggy and Dolores are outcasts on this trip and Siggy is legitimately insane. Siggy seems to think that she is still close with Teresa and Melissa. Siggy is still harping on Margaret’s reference to Hitler. For fucksake. Siggy said she is friends with Kim D because she is nice to her despite how Kim D treats Kim and Melissa. Margaret simply pointed out that Hitler would have not killed her so by Siggy’s logic, she should be friends with Hitler. Siggy is STILL RANTING ABOUT THIS ON HER SOCIAL MEDIA MONTHS LATER. Let it go, for fuck sake.
I’ll never understand why people go to Europe for only four days unless it is a business trip. Once you take the long plane ride, I say stay as long as possible. I’ve already got the itch to go to Paris for Christmas again. I need to abandon all hope of a good passport picture and just get one taken.
Somehow this has turned into Melissa’s trip instead of Margaret’s. How did she pull that off? She got the presidential suite and the others pulled room keys to avoid all the RHONY sort of bitching about who gets what room. I’m not even a fan of Teresa’s but with her mother recently passing, I think she should have gotten the best room. Dolores gave Margaret her room so she could room with Siggy.
Teresa and Danielle head off to the Duomo, a giant Cathedral. I’m not sure if I went to Milan or not as I child. I think I would have some memory of the Duomo di Milano.
Melissa and Margaret head off together and Siggy and Dolores go shopping. Teresa, who everyone thinks speaks Italian, speaks English to the waiter. I don’t for a minute believe she is fluent in Italian. Danielle works Teresa to turn her against Dolores and Siggy. Basically the three duos all talk about each other.
Melissa is surprised that Milan has a cathedral. She thought that was only in Rome. More pairings to discuss the impending brawl at the restaurant. And her it comes.
Immediately, Teresa picks up the votives on the table and starts pouring the hot wax into her hand and then on other people. I am not making this up. I would be mortified already. Then Danielle discusses how to make a rainbow on a penis using lipstick in gross detail. Again, this is really happening, in public. On camera.
Siggy wants to get to brawling. She tells Teresa that she defended her with Kim D. Then we get Melissa acting out the bad behavior at Posche . They are literally reenacting the fight at Posche and it looks like we are not going to see any more of the food. The entire restaurant is staring at them all. Siggy goes off on Maraget calling her anti-Semitic despite the fact that Margaret’s stepkids are Jewish. Siggy is just an awful person inside and out. She calls Margaret a bitch. Danielle defends Margaret and Siggy tries to come for Danielle. Danielle loses her shit and starts breaking things in the beautiful Milanese restaurant. She gone full on bull in a china shop. This is just disgusting and embarrassing. Why don’t any of them remove themselves from this public display of egregiousness? They were escorted out. How humiliating.
Out in the streets, Siggy is furious that Teresa and Melissa did not defend her.
Everyone except Danielle and Siggy go on a canal tour. I feel like production uninvited them. The tour guy is hot AF. And Teresa finally speaks some Italian.
I’m loving the scenes of Milan.
Meanwhile Dolores has called Danielle to try to make up with her because production sad so. She doesn’t even bother to get dressed but instead, apparently wandered through the hotel in her pajamas and bathrobe. I’m okay with her in her long-sleeved long pants pajamas roaming around but with the hotel bathroom over it, that’s just wrong. She apologizes to Danielle. Danielle says she had already hurt her feelings. She says last night she was unhinged. Then Siggy manages to make Danielle seem sane by telling her that she is the one who introduced Margaret to the group and she feels like Margaret has done nothing but attack her since. She brings up the “Soggy Flicker” comment again and how hurtful that was. Oddly this time it was not hurtful because she was bullied in school, not it has something to do with her knowing Siggy had a hysterectomy. I don’t get the connection.
The tour group goes to lunch. Again, Teresa orders in English and points to what she wants on the menu rather than speaking her “fluent Italian.” Seriously? She can’t even order food in Italian. My French sucks but by day two I’ve mustered the courage to order food at least. Melissa tries to convince Dolores to help get Siggy back into the group and stop all the nonsense. Dolores and Margaret start bickering in a mature fashion. Margaret looks to Teresa for support. Teresa says that Dolores seems like she is not giving Margaret a chance. Dolores says that she sees no path for Siggy and Dolores to be together.
Siggy calls her husband and he tells her she just needs to come home and cut the cancer out of her life. It’s clear he means the show. She agrees, but I think that production sent her home.
Wait, are they already home next week?