Are y’all watching this mess? I am recording the second run and getting to it when I can. I have more than two things in every time slot on Monday nights. I do have some thoughts though.
First of all the name is dumb. Floribama is not a thing when it comes to Panama City Beach. It’s not even the closest beach town to Alabama, Pensacola is. Secondly, no one uses the word ‘shore’ in the south. The word is ‘beach.’ Shore is a yankee word. New Jersey has shores, and shore houses. The south has beaches and beach houses. You will never hear the southern folks on this show say the word ‘shore.’ They should have named the show The Redneck Riveria. That is what the locals call it. Or simply PCB.
Now let’s talk about the eight idiots they moved into the house. The girls are plum awful.
Kortni Gilson is from Panama City. She is 21. I know it pisses people off when I point out that if your parents gave you a weird name or a normal name with some fucked up spelling then the idiots genes are passed down and the stupid is strong. But it’s true. Exhibit A, Kortni. Kortni likes to get drunk and fight people. Kortni sleeps in animal costumes (onsies).
Nilsa Prowant is also from Panama City, she is 23. Who came up with that name? Nilsa thinks she is the prettiest girl in the house and declares it to us out loud on the very first episode. She and Kortni claim to sort of know each other from before the house. They don’t seem particularly close though. Nilsa is rude and entitled. I’m on episode three right now and every episode she has declared that she has set her sites on Jeremiah and no one can hold a candle to her. Jeremiah on the other hand finds her desperate attempts to chase him to be a huge turnoff he prefers some girl named Karli Jo. Jeremiah and Gus both get laid in the house on the third episode with random girls from the bar. Also on episode three, Nilsa is rude to a guy who bought all eight idiots drinks. Her mama has taught her not to accept drinks from strange men. I’m down with that rule but there is a way follow it without insulting the guy who is just being nice. She’s kind of a cunt to everyone. Especially, when they don’t fall at her feet. She’s divorced but calls her ex when she gets drunk and has no one in her bed. The ex need to change his number, or block Nilsa.
Aimee Hall is 24 and from Alabama. Amy is another example of the misspelled name offspring theory. She is dumber than a box of hair. She mistakenly thinks she is pretty. She cleans up pretty well once goes to get her crusty feet scraped (not a big enough tip in the world for that salon lady) and puts on makeup and does her hair and covers her tattoos. But she’s not a looker without makeup. She is 24 and just ended a ten-year relationship because her man got her cousin pregnant. I suspect that he man is also her cousin but she has not admitted to that yet. Aimee has been dying to get on one of these shows. She tried to get on Party Down South but was not selected. That means this cast is even lower on the scale than Party Down South. Let that sink in for a minute.
Candace Rice is 24 and from Memphis. needs someone to go get her and rescue her from this show. She is the prettiest girl in the house. She’s also black. I have a feeling casting put in a black female and a black male hoping for racial tensions. Again, you can tell the production people are yankees. Everyone loves Candace but she tends to sort of stay to herself. Because she is normal and sane and smart and the other three girls are a bunch of drunken whores who like to fight and argue. Candace is my favorite, but it would not surprise me if she came up with an excuse to go back home.
Jeremiah Buoni is a 22-year-old gym rat. The girls all find him very attractive. He took Kortni on a date and then ended it asking her to split the bill because they are just friends. It was kind of awkward but he had to do something because he discovered at dinner that Kortni is insane and super redneck. Jeremiah isn’t southern. He’s from Amelia Island, Florida. It’s a very affluent place and gorgeous. Rich folks from the north east love to go there. It’s like the Protestant Boca Raton. Despite being one of the youngest in the house, he’s sort of the man of the house. He’s level-headed and clean. He’s always cleaning up behind the other seven in the kitchen.
Gus Smyrnios is 22 and from Tallahassee. Gus seems to look up to Jeremiah a bit. While the girls in the house were all angling for Jeremiah, I think Gus felt like he’s the number two guy. I think he is better looking than Jeremiah. However, I have a hard time with the current high hair look that the guys are wearing these days. Gus looks better before he puts ten bottles of product in his hair. I googled him and he is a model for book covers, mostly romance novels and has 25 thousand followers. He has not mentioned this to his housemates that I know of. I told you he was the cutest! He was also kicked out of his house at 17 and had to make it on his own so he is also, more mature than all of the girls. He would like to get married and have a family of his own.
Codi Butts is 25 and is a good ole boy from South Carolina. He is a home health aide for someone I think and he was also a bartender. He’s funny and very dramatic. He is in the middle of all of the action. When he is sober he is a calming force, but when he’s kicked back a few shots, he can be pot stirrer. Like the other three guys in the house, he seems to be good people.
Kirk Medas is 25 and from Atlanta. It would not surprise me to see him and Candace hook up, but Kirk told the AJC that he was very cautious about dating on camera because his mother would be watching and she raised him right. So far his is the guy who is always happy and smiling and living in the moment, but he says when he drinks too much he can be sensitive to smack talk and get into altercations.
I am just now watching the end of episode three. Remember when I told you that Nilsa was an ass to the local who was buying them drinks? He’s had a few drinks himself and while he is outside smoking and talking to Aimee about dogs, he makes it clear to Nilsa that if she didn’t try so hard to let everyone know how pretty she is and be a drama queen for attention, she might get some. He’s absolutely right, but as a man, he should probably not trash talk a young woman outside a bar. They yell at him to go away, and he shrugs and walks off. Aimee and Nilsa go inside and Nilsa has another dramatic meltdown about that guy and all the guys in the house being mean to her. Gee, I wonder why? Nilsa wants to go home because everyone is picking on her. Don’t get our hopes up Nilsa.
Remember when I said Kirk can get into altercations when he is drunk? Drunk Aimee goes to tell drunk Kirk and the other guys that “people are treating Nilsa bad. So Drunk Kirk goes to talk to the Nilsa, and the other boys go with him. Nilsa, thrilled that the attention is all on her tells them that people are mean to her. As if on cue, some drunk lady comes out and says to Nilsa, “Why don’t you just go home, princess. Just leave.” Clearly, the whole bar is over Nilsa. Kirk defends Nilsa to the drunk lady and starts smarting off telling her he will beat up her boyfriend. This will not end well. Codi actually knows this. This is a local bar. Security tries to usher the drunk lady away. The guys huddle protectively around the little princess.
Then the drunk lady’s husband shows up, Kirk threatens to beat his ass and keeps calling them old. The husband drags his drunk wife home. Around this time, Kortni realizes that there is drama and comes out dying to get in a fist fight without even knowing what is going on.
Then all hell breaks loose. The bouncer from Donovan’s gets into a fight with both the husband and the wife as he is trying to get them out of there. Everyone from the house was leaving but Kortni and Aimee both had to be restrained by Gus and production. The is a full out brawl in the parking lot. The show ends rather abruptly but it looks like all eight fools got into the van and out of there before the cops showed up.
I hate to say it, but I am in with this show. It comes on Mondays on MTV.
This sounds wonderfully trashy!
I love it when redneck southerners give their kids ‘klassy’ names that they’ve changed the spelling on!
I think Kortni may be my new favorite!
Parents are just setting these kids up for success!
I’m going to have to search this out On Demand!
I’m in. Watching ep 3 right now. Aimee just said she’s biding her time until she becomes a trophy wife. All the guys are good, but Codi seems like the least likeable. Candace is way above this show.
Don’t be hatin’ on my boy Codi. He’s a good boy. 🙂 I love all the guys so far.
Candace is the only female with redeeming qualities. I love that she has Jeremiah pegged as from a wealthy family.Jeremiah didn’t go anywhere near the fight and Candace was like, “He’s home schooled, he ain’t never seen ghetto shit like this.”
I guarantee you Aimee or Kortni will get arrested before the season is over.
At least once. ?
That fight was crazy!
the #TacoSoup of reviews! this show is so bad it’s hilarious.
YAY! I got you to comment! 🙂 Stick around!
Omgosh, I just now finished episode three, then came to your site. I’m really liking it.
It reminds me of reality shows that used to be back in the day, lol.
I love it. You described all the people perfectly.
Love this show, Gus and Jeremiah are so damn fine it’s sickening. Nilsa you think you are it but you are nothing of the sort (Tiffany Pollard) voice.
She does a very good job with her makeup application but the way she chooses to part her hair baffles me. It makes her look baldish and flat headed.
I died when Nilsa flopped on the couch drunk bragging about her lady parts.
She said this [email protected]@@y is made of steel. Who wants an iron vagina?
OMG I know, I left out so many of the “good parts” She is SOFA KING full of herself. “The Autopsy guy will see (her vagina) and say she isn’t dead because you can’t kill (her vagina.)”
Okay I feel slightly better about myself for enjoying this show. Recaps it is but they will be late. I can’t even watch until the next day.
Ummm. Are we not going to discuss kortnis weird peeing habits?! She not only pissed a bed the first night, but chose to go in a trash can instead of in the ocean?!?!
Overall loving this wonderful trashy show
YES WE ARE! She got up out of her bed and went to the other one in the room (was it Candace’s ?) sat on the edge and peed on the mattress and floor. Then she swore she didn’t do it and shady production replays the whole thing!
On Jersey Shore, the guys were all assholes with like one exception, and the girls were fairly likable. I like how they turned that around for this season. I do fear that Nilsa is not emotionally equipped to be judged by the Internet. This may not end well. I think Kortni and Aimee will weather the storm, but Nilsa has put herself on a VERY high pedestal that will cause her a lot of pain to fall off of.
She was so upset about a random comment from a guy in a bar who said she was pretty but her attitude sucked. Then flipped out about having “her appearance attacked”. She’s in for a rough ride.
Wow, I am shocked nobody mentioned how when they all went out the first time and Kortni was way too drunk and passed out in her bed but woke up long enough to sit on Candace’s bed and pee on it, when they all came home she was still out and Candace got into the bed then noticed it was wet and they all came in and figured out what must have happened. Later Kortni and Nilsa were talking about it and she said it was a spilled drink, Can’t wait til they see the tape of it and get to watch as she sits on the edge and takes a pee… so nasty.
Never watched this, never will, but love the review and comments! I am on board for those.
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This sounds divine and I am headed off to find this asap!! The housewives shows have turned into constant contrived fighting- at this point they are both aggravating and annoying. From your description this show sounds like A+ mindless and hilarious entertainment. Thank you for sharing Tamara! (and major kudos to you for pointing out that us Southerners NEVER say “shore”- it is a beach!!!!)
Flori-Bama is the popular bar between Orange Beach and Pensacola which is the only logical place for Floribama. WTH with PC beach? Maybe the Flori-Bama folks wouldn’t accept them, then Pensacola, Fort Walton and Destin didnt want them. They almost had to head to Central Florida to behave like spoiled brats
If the home of the annual mullet toss doesnt want you….Bless Your Trashy Heart
THIS lol.
And I know y’all are doing my favorite thing and telling me all the things I missed (sarcasm) but I was just trying to give an overview of the show and the players to gage interest. HOWEVER, at the time, episode three was running in the background. And when we got to the big brawl in the parking lot!!! I promise to do better on recaps or find someone who wants to do them. 🙂
I hope I didnt come across as being critical
I think my comment is in the wrong place, Mackie. Someone was going through all the things “I missed” when the post was about doing an overview of the cast.
And then the brawl happened while I was typing and I had to share the drama I was seeing!
Yep. The Flora-Bama Lounge. It is a circus there now, used to be a great little beach bar shack in the middle of nowhere. Agree, a much better name for the show would have been Redneck Riviera, Floribama my ass, the two place must be 100 miles apart.
We have a place in Orange Beach near the Flora Bama. It’s still a great bar (when it’s not Spring Break). They were approached by MTV about doing a show but they weren’t interested so MTV did the show without them. Makes no sense but the bar tried to sue MTV to change the name of the show but it obviously didn’t work.
This is the most stupid show I have ever seen and constantly saying gd word is disgusting way to go mtv on this one good grief
I wasn’t expecting to like it but I just can’t resist the drunk trash train wreck that is this show. Aimee’s taco soup had my stomach churning just from watching her make it!
And Nilsa’s mouth writes checks her ass can’t cash. She does some major backpedaling hen she’s confronted.& Aimee stepped in a couple of times because Nilsa apparently can’t fight her own battles. I totally agree that the guys are more likable.
I thought the post said fibromyalgia shore and wondered if Yolanda moved.
I’ve been watching but only because I vacation at PCB almost every year and I love to see the familiar sites and places. As for the cast, in my humble opinion, none of them have the charisma that most of the original Jersey Shore cast had. I would say Aimee is the most interesting one of the bunch. Codi, Kirk and Candace are too nice and normal for this type of show.
What the heck did Aimee put in her Taco Soup that made them all ill???? I frequently make it and there’s nothing to it but cans, packets & the hamburger. I wonder if the hamburger was bad but they would have noticed that as they were eating it.
The other day I found the shore house (love Google Maps Street View) and also the rental company that rents it out. They’re already advertising it as the MTV Floribama Shore House.
Because of the misnamed show.
It’s not bad. I’ll give it a few more eps. I love your theory! I have to remember that.
It’s actually the sort of thing that teachers discuss in the teacher’s lounge. But you didn’t hear that from me. Some kids will have names like Maquueeree and when we ask how to pronounce it, they look at us like we’re stupid and say, “Mary!!!” Yep. Bad genetic pool.
Found the series, set up to record.
I never watched Jersey Shore, watched a few “Summer house?”
I’m going to give this a try, your recap has me curious now.
I feel kinda bad dragging you into this show. You seem like a nice person.
No worries! I can be nice.
Just watched the first episode, didn’t think I was going to get into it …goodness, was I ever that young?
Thought Jeramiah looked like Clark Kent on his “date” w/Kortni…my spell check doesn’t like the way she spells her name.
Funny that Gus needed fork training!!! I won’t eat Chinese food, even Ramen without using chop sticks, doesn’t taste the same. Ate really good oriental food in San Francisco and Korea for years, I’m sure it’s mental but it’s a real thing to me so I’m glad I had correct fork training at an early age!
Next episode is still set to record, I’ll be watching it too.
Thanks TT.
Okay so I don’t watch MTV shows not since the real world in the nineties if you know what I mean the good stuff, but you hook me so I’ve recorded them and I’m watching the first episode and I’ve got a agree I love Candice she’s beautiful and she brings light to the show. I’m hooked I from Jacksonville, Florida I’ve never been to Panama City or Pensacola but maybe I need to book a weekend there just to see what it’s about just saying
While the beaches are great on the panhandle. the traffic and rednecks make it so not worth ii. If you mus go do in the winter.
While the beaches are great on the panhandle. the traffic and rednecks make it so not worth ii. If you mus go do in the winter.
I am loving this trashy show. Since I go to PCB every year I am loving seeing all the familiar sights. Drunkest I have ever got in college was at LaVela. Drunkest as an adult was at Ms Newby’s. First Bar/liquor store I have ever been to.
So glad to see others picking up on the fact PCB is NOT FloriBama. BTW een reading here off and on but finally got the courage to post. Hi everybody!!!
Did you see the Saturday Night Live spoof? It was pretty funny. Everyone was too drunk & stupid to worry about the hurricane except Kirk.
I record SNL for the political comedy but lately I’ve just been FF the whole thing or deleting them unwatched. I miss old school SNL.
Someone there sure loves Erika Jayne. The host was dressed like her in another sketch.
I have often heard the area refer to as thr Gulf Shores but whatever.
Gulf Shores is a city in Alabama about 150 miles away.
It is definitely entertaining for the moment , (for those who miss jersey shore , and for a new generation that ‘gasp’ never saw the original ?) they 1. Can’t compete with the original cast, you can’t redo that combo, it’s basically the real world they are attaching to jersey shore to get ppl to watch.
2. They are trying soooo hard to make new trends and #’s …
3. Have any of them seen jersey shore?
4. This literally again is just the real world ….. no difference , get a new formula MTV
They really could call it Real World: Panama City Beach. Though I still prefer Redneck Riviera.
This gave me a good laugh and reminded me of a bad person I used to know.
I used to work with (and sadly was also friends with) a girl who had an occasional drunk peeing problem similar to this girl. She was known to get up, half awake and fully drunk, and pee on people’s furniture but the worst (best?) was the night she got up, walked to the kitchen, opened the fridge, pulled out he crisper drawer, pulled her pants down, had a seat and proceeded to pee in our friends produce.
She was klassy like that.
These girls are disgusting. Why would MTV not want to put hot girls, that actually act like females, on this show? Instead they get the trashiest, most disgusting girls in the south and put them on TV.
The real big blonde one is the most disgusting girl I have ever seen, inside and out.