I can already tell this episode is going to be a ratchet mess. Since Teresa had to bail on this episode, Danielle has stepped in. The other guest is Robert Lord Taylor, who I had to Google to find out he is a supporting actor on scripted TV shows that Andy describes as a “superfan” of misogyny housewives. I’ve lost track of how many days I have had this head cold from hell and been alcohol-free, but I assure you neither situation has done anything to improve my already unpleasant personality. Nonetheless, if a girl wants to buy chicken soup, recapping this drivel is a must.
Once again, the hair stylist has lobbed several inches off of a housewives head and it looks fabulous. Andy wants to add Danielle’s hair cuttings to his macabre collection of women’s body parts and such. Soon Danielle’s hair will join the ranks of Tamra’s implants, Lady Gaga’s piss, and Lord knows what else he has back there.
Julie and Brandi, from The People’s Couch are the bartenders. They have a new podcast called Dumb Gay Politics.
RLT gets to rapid fire questions to Danielle
Was it your idea to come back to the show? She says it was Andy’s but Andy mouths to the camera NO IT WAS NOT.
How do your kids feel about it? Not good.
What’s your favorite franchise and housewife? RHOA, Nene
The poll, whose side are you on Teresa or Siggy and Dolores was split 50/50.
Andy shows a sneak peek and nearly pees himself he is so happy that “old Teresa” is back. As if there was ever a change in Teresa. Danielle is thrilled to be on the same side of the fight as Teresa this season and actually says that out loud.
Right after that discussion, Danielle says that her daughters needed an apology from Teresa so they could see that Teresa has changed. I thought the prior discussion made it pretty clear that Teresa has not changed a bit. Do these people think they are making sense tonight? Because I’ll have whatever they’re having.
After some discussion about The Penguin on Gotham’s ambiguous sexuality, Andy brings up Danielle’s “lesbian love anthem” that she sang on the show. He says it is his favorite WWHL performance of all time. Danielle doesn’t get that he is mocking her and somehow this leads to Danielle volunteering to sing a bit of it after the break. I need to speak to my boss about getting a raise for this.
The ring leader of Danielle’s fan club calls in. I am not making this up. She asks about Kim G attacking Danielle on Twitter all the time. I am thankful I have no idea what this is about. Danielle says Kim G is ready for the retirement home. So am I, girl, so am I. Alexa, please remind me to sign up for long-term health care insurance. Also get me a list of assisted living facilities on the beach.
Andy makes an off-color joke with RLT and the says, “Am I allowed to say that anymore?” and then rolls his eyes. Clearly, he is not happy with the current climate that frowns on unwanted sexual advances.
He’s probably on Stassi’s side of the argument.
Danielle sang her lesbian song. I am feeling traumatized. RLT is stifling a laugh.
Even worse, Danielle dared to speak the name Caroline Manzo. A name too good to ever come out of that mouth considering all the places it has been.
That was not worth watching.
Hi Tamara – I sure hope you’re feeling better! I, too, was bored silly with this show and had no idea who that dude was either. Are they not bringing back The People’s Couch? I think the girl standing on the right (can’t remember which one is Brandi and which one is Julie) has had some work done. Thoughts? As always – thanks for the awesome recaps even when you feel like SH*T!!!!
Is it one of the prerequisites to be on a Housewives show that you have zero self awareness?
Yes.
Danielle = Beyond Delusional
The shorter hair looked great but the makeup was way too thick and orange.
Cringeworthy episode!
She is beyond delusional and so calculating. Everything she says and does is so phony. That franchise is really at the bottom of the barrel. Hard to watch!
TT Sorry about your cold. I am currently making chicken soup. Andy’s rolodex couldn’t find anyone better than Danielle to sub in? I could’t get over the guys hair. A bit bizarre. I watched Gotham once.
Love Julie and Brandi and I have listened to their podcast.
LOL. Danielle’s hair in a jar (extentions) on a shelf. At first I thought it was an ashes urn.
Hi Peachy Keen! I’m wondering how do you make your chicken soup?
The only good thing about the show was that I recorded it so I got to fast forward through the “singing(?)” portion of the show. I hope you’re feeling better soon, Tamara. The cold or virus that everyone is getting seems to want to linger for as long as possible.
I know it’s marketed as an allergy med but I swear by Zyrtec.I was in N.C. with the worst head cold ever, someone just suggested this and it worked. I keep it year round now. There is something just so off about this woman. It’s like she is just sleazy or something. I just can not make myself like her. That singing along bit was truly cringe- worthy. Both guests sucked. These so called super fans rarely help this show.
What does everyone thing of Andy’s liberal use of just For Men. His hair is getting darker every few days.
Or what’s been in that filthy mouth.
I just got hit with this, really! If Danielle stopped with the games, constantly scheming, lying, trying to gain an advantage etc would she be a likable person?
What a idiotic thought, she is a sleaze. She was on RHNJ for so long is in part why I lost interest. She upsets my stomach too.
Gotham is a good show for what it is. I recognized his voice but he is so young without all the makeup.
So what was really up with Teresa, can’t imagine her missing camera time?
Headcold: Paramol (paracetamol and dihydracodeine) and two bottles of slightly warmer than room temperature Shiraz. Finish with a brandy and sleep it off for two days.
Who is Robert Lord Taylor? That’s a very fancy name.
Please send Paramol. 🙂
Sarah Jessica Parker must have been busy….
I think SJP has been distancing herself from Andy.
I deleted WWHL which Siri wants to type WWIII.
Siri is smart.
I wonder if there is a photo of the short hair cut as I hate her long hair. That photo of her gives me the creeps — it’s like she’s trying to look coquettish. A 50 year old leather bag coated with makeup. Eeew.
Plus knowing how disgusting she is, I will never watch a show she is on.
Hi again! How can I get the “Congratulations” thing to quit popping up? Also, why do you think SJP is distancing herself from Andy?
It’s happening to everyone using the Safari browser on their iPhone. There are 3 fixes. 1) Use a different browser (OR 2) Clear your cache. Turn your phone all the way off, restart. That will work for a while then you’ll have to do it again. (3) Wait for a Safari patch
Guess who?? I am using my iPad so I downloaded Google Chrome. Guess what popped up? Yes, another “Congratulations”! So now that is Safari AND Chrome. Thoughts? Sorry to be the bearer of bad news…………
did you delete your cache before opening with Chrome? I’m on Chrome with no problem, but I am not sure if iPads have virus protection programs or not.
I do occaisionally get a pop up on Chrome like maybe once a month, but that’s it.
Danielle is obviously problematic, to be polite about it. But I kind of dig that Andy was trying to humiliate her with the old footage and instead she just got into singing it and even forced Andy to participate. The camera mostly stayed on current Danielle, so the point of the old footage was probably lost to many viewers. Sorry, Andrew.
If you’re a house wife that guests on WWHL, get the haircut! Such an improvement over all that fake long hair those woman think makes them look “hot?”
I cringed the first time Danielle sang years ago , had to get up and fix another drink this time, left it on just in case a miracle happened…course it didn’t!
I want the peoples couch back, doesn’t compare to your recaps TT but it cracked me up.
Andy’s hair? I don’t know what’s going on there, plus he was awarded “best hair” by People magazine ? Hmmm