I totally forgot this show was on. This isn’t that unusual for me, but now I realize it is because it has been two weeks since the last episode. Checking that link to refresh my memory, I see we left off at Siggy’s retreat.
Let’s remember that Siggy set up this retreat because she thinks she is a relationship specialist, and she chose to go first in this little session to as the divorce lawyer said, “tell one other person what is wrong with them.” That’s always a dialogue for open communication everywhere. Pick someone who you would like to tell what is wrong with them. Some of these storylines where the person with the worst relationships declares herself a relationship expert and everyone goes along with it as if it is normal, boggle my mind. As Melissa says, “This type of role-playing is not going to result in a happy ending.” That is probably Melissa best line on RHONJ.
Siggy makes everything about her ONCE AGAIN and retells the story about the names she was called when she was a child. Okay all of you, out there. Raise you hand if you were NEVER called names as a child. Raise them high so I can count them. Thank you. There were three hands raised and those people were lying. This is the most bizarre behavior I have ever heard. I do not have the energy to recap this role-playing shit. Sorry, not sorry.
We flash back to 2009 when Danielle confronts Teresa for flipping the table and calling her a prostitution whore in front of her teen and pre-teen daughter. Danielle gets Teresa to agree to apologize to her girls so they can
be on camera get closure.
Joe Gorga takes Milania go-kart racing and talks to her about her visions of her grandmother cooking in the kitchen. Milania says her death doesn’t really feel real. She feels like she is just in the hospital. It’s weird. I think a lot of grown ups have felt that way before too.
In the final group share, Margaret cries about being alienated from her step children. Teresa continues to lay the groundwork for her divorce.
Back in Jersey we find out that Peggy has her groove back with Michael since getting her butt pellets. Teresa lets us know she hasn’t visited Joe in three months. Siggy tells Teresa she needs to let her emotions out. I believe that would require Teresa to have some emotions. The only one I’ve ever seen is anger. Is entitlement an emotion?
Dolores is having a dog charity of some sort. At least that is the storyline. It looks more like they are going to an event set up by some animal shelter. The good news is Teresa is afraid of dogs so she should be miserable the entire time. Don’t they have a dog that they dye different colors at their house? Am I hallucinating that memory? It seems like it might just be big dogs.
At the dog event, Danielle tells Margaret that she thinks that Siggy mended her relationship with her at the retreat just to make herself look like a good relationship expert and that it is not genuine. Margaret says she could be right and only time will tell. Meanwhile, Melissa plants seeds with Siggy that Danielle is stirring the pot about the veracity of her reconciliation with Margaret. Dolores and Siggy don’t really care what Danielle is up to these days and make that clear to Melissa and Teresa.
Dolores says her next charity event is Kim D’s Posche Fashion Show. Of course Melissa and Teresa mock the whole thing and basically say it is a scam. Actually, it is a benefit for the two guys who were murdered in her son’s car. It has come out that the gruesome deaths were execution killings by some sort of NJ mafia types as revenge for squealing to the cops about some other crime/murder that happened. They were shot at close range and then the car was set on fire. Apparently, they had kids and the fundraiser was for the children. Only in New Jersey. Siggy and Dolores are both walking in the fashion show but they have not told Teresa yet. Teresa of course announces that she is not going. Margaret says she will go, she doesn’t know Kim D. but she likes to support charities. Teresa says the reason she is not going is because last time she went Kim D. told her that her husband was cheating on her. Kim D. was right, and she is likely right again when she tells Dolores and Siggy that Teresa is cheating on Joe. Teresa draws a firm line in the sand and says that she doesn’t think her friends should go.
Melissa meets with Margaret to discuss how Melissa can improve her business. This is all a bullshit scene for the reason for the group trip to Milan.
Siggy and Dolores got to Posche to pick out their looks for the fashion show with Kim D. Siggy sticks up for Teresa with Kim D. She says she should not have mentioned the rumors of Joe cheating while Teresa was in prison doing time for 41 felonies. Siggy says she is working hard to support her kids now and has been through a lot. Kim D. says she hasn’t seen her doing anything. She says Teresa is out a clubs rekindling old flames. Dolores says there are no old flames because Joe is the only person Teresa has ever been with. Kim D. promises it is not a rumor and they will all find out about it. Dolores and Siggy both say they have to tell Teresa what she is saying. Kim D. says she is happy that Teresa is moving on.
Cut to a dinner with everyone at some fancy restaurant that is about to be destroyed. But first, everyone has to be invited to Milan. Maybe Teresa can look for a place for Joe to live while she is there! Fun fact, Teresa almost missed the trip to Milan because her father was in the hospital. In her book she talks about how pissed she was at Joe during this time because he kept calling her and asking her where she was and who she was with. Sounds like heard the rumors just like Kim D. Apparently, he was interfering with her new social life.
Siggy then just blurts out that she and Dolores are walking in the Posche fashion show. She really needs to work on how to deliver her lines if she wants to come back next season. Dolores tells Teresa what Kim D said about her cheating. Teresa of course over reacts, a sign of guilt, and screams at Dolores and Siggy for not defending her, when they did defend her. Dolores accidentally says to Teresa “if it is true” and then catches herself and backs up, but not before Teresa hurls a wine glass at a brick wall. Dolores and Teresa both stand up to have a screaming match. I am not listening to them because I am watching Danielle whose face is filled with pure glee. Mission accomplished. Teresa’s friendships are being destroyed and Teresa is going to have to apologize to her daughters on camera. Danielle is getting everything she ever wanted this season. She could not be happier. Dolores and Siggy storm out together. Lines in the sand have been crossed. Ha! Right after I typed that Danielle screams after them, “Lines in the sand have been crossed, have a nice time ladies.” Teresa says she is going to the fashion show to confront Kim D. Danielle tells Melissa they will go in there like fucking Charlies Angels plus one and points to Margaret. And they will all be there because the call sheets have already been emailed. Suddenly, they are all laughing.
Next week: Marge Sr has a date and talks about getting another tattoo in a very private place. Teresa and Joe talk to a psychic about their mother. You can bet she will talk about Milania’s visions. How stupid was I to not realize that was a produced storyline. They literally have a kid lying about dead grandma. And it will end with what I’ve been told is one of the biggest Posche Fashion Show Brawls ever.
When I went to pull photos for this article, there was some information in my emails regarding Teresa’s father. According to these sources, Teresa’s father was hospitalized today. No word on what the issue is exactly. However, it must be serious because Teresa was scheduled to be on WWHL tonight and Danielle Staub will be appearing in her place. Danielle Staub just keeps on getting exactly what she wants tonight!