Matt is upset that Captain Lee told him he needed to stick up his game. Kyle is planning to take out Jen with the goal of getting laid. Jen is too stupid to turn on the juicer. Once again, the guests love Matt’s brunch. I’m with Matt and don’t get what Captain Lee is talking about. Tonight Captain Lee is joining the guests for dinner.
When Kate and Kyle play marry, shag, kill with Matt, Bruno, and Nico. They kill Bruno! What idiots they are. I’d marry Bruno and kill both of the others. If I had to shag someone out of Matt or Nico I suppose I’s go with Matt. He seems like a pervert so he may have some skills. Nico must die under any scenario. Brianna on the other hand is going to stick around in the islands for a few days after the season ends to shag Nico. Ew.
It’s time for a white party and dinner with Captain Lee. Captain Lee hates these things. He’s much rather have dinner in his quarters. For the appetizer Matt made a seared scallop salad. One of the guests in particular is not happy with the cook on the scallops. Someone talks about having more salads in the last two days than she has had in a month. I’d love someone to make me salads every day. I love them but I despise chopping. Mostly because I keep talking myself out of buying a decent knife set. The main course is mahi mahi. Again, I’d love this. However, one guest doesn’t eat fish and another just doesn’t like it and so two dishes go back. The sauce for the mahi seemed odd though, and there wasn’t much of anything else on the plate.
The women get drunk out of their minds and Captain Lee is miserable. One of the women, the primary, is hitting on him hard. Captain Lee politely excuses himself.
The next morning, Jen oversleeps leaving Kyle to make the guests coffee. Kate is kind to Matt when Captain Lee asks for feedback on his dinner. The primary is still furious with all of her friends who very gently tried to beckon her away from Captain Lee before she embarrassed herself further. As someone who frequently gets drunk and does stupid shit (oh hey there last night, I’ve not forgotten you) I am embarrassed the next day before I even open my eyes. Not this primary. She doesn’t seem to think she did anything wrong at all. I envy that about her. She pouts in her room drinking water and everyone else is walking on eggshells.
I think it’s weird that the guest hug the crew on the way out. Why do they do that? I don’t hug my server and chef and the hostess when I leave a restaurant. It makes no sense.
The semi-sober primary raves about Matt, especially his salad dressings. Did I mention he used his bare hands to mix the dressing into the salad and then proceeded to plate the salad with his bare hands? Do they not have salad tongs in Canookia? Perhaps not. I mean they I think it only gets warm enough to crave a salad up there three days a year. (I love messing with my Canookian friends here.) The primary said she was thrilled with the five star service. So everyone is expecting a big fat tip.
At the tip meeting, Captain Lee seems pleased with everyone. The tip for a two night cruise was FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS. And everyone is butthurt over it including Captain Lee. That’s some entitlement right there. There is one charter left and Captain Lee wants a much larger tip. He blames Matt’s mediocre cooking without really saying it.
The Captain leaves the crew to discuss how they can improve. Kate says she will start by asking if anyone has feedback about the interior crew. Kyle says that on the morning of the departure, there were no stews there to provide service to the guests when they woke up. Kate is pissed. She asked for feedback and was then unwilling to hear it. She says she will take over morning service. Jen is pissed that Kyle threw her under the bus. Matt asks for feedback next. Brianna tells him to take more risks. WTF does Brianna know about meal planning?
Oh God. The final charter is a repeat of one of the most obnoxious charter guests ever. I tried to find my recap but it is from season two and it looks like I stopped recapping because that was the worst season ever. All the crew did was mock and bad mouth the guests. It’s was disgusting and I quit recapping that season right before this douche was on. But I remember him. He’s a complete fucktard.
On shore, Kate meets with Matt alone to help him plan his menu while the rest of the gang gets their drink on elsewhere. Kate is basically mapping out the menu for Matt.
Jen has pissed off Kyle at dinner by sticking her fork into his sauce for his steak without even asking him. The went any hope Jen had of getting laid. Kyle refuses to touch anything on his plate after that. He never ate a single bite. Jen is pissed that she is stuck being sexually frustrated for the rest of the night. They head to a bar for shots, but Nico and Brianna decided to head back early to have the boat to themselves for a bit. Jen gets hammered. Baker has to help her back to the boat. Jen keeps threatening to cop a squat on the sidewalk. Jen is mean to Baker and calls her a whore. She eventually gets back to the boat and knocks on Nico and Brianna’s cabin. She’s completely incoherent.
Kyle wants Baker to go defend herself to Nico since apparently Jen was trying to say that Baker attacked her. That is totally the opposite of what happened. Baker doesn’t want to say anything, which is smart. Then Kyle and Bruno go to confront Jen, which is not smart. Jen screams in Bruno’s face. Bruno says he is going to lock Jen in the bathroom if she doesn’t stop screaming. This is so not smart. Then Bruno puts his hands on Jen and I may have to divorce my husband and be stuck married to Matt. At least Matt is drunk and jacking off in his cabin somewhere and not getting involved. Bruno is Jen’s friend though so I guess it makes sense he is trying to calm her down.
Next week: The exterior crew wants Jen fired. The douchebag arrives and for the three seconds I saw him I already hate him. Bruno injuries his beautiful leg and is in pain. It looks like a dramatic final charter!
Who would YOU shag, marry, kill out of Matt, Bruno and Nico?