It’s the last season of this shit show, and boy have we had a lot of fun complaining about it. Let’s get right to it.
Vicki and her partners meet with her son Michael to tell him they have decided to replace a current board member with him. What does that mean? They are throwing someone else off the board for him? He seems as confused as I am. Vicki tells him that this is a really big deal. They are grooming him for the vice president position. Michael has never really wanted this job.
Kelly and Jolie want to give Kelly’s mom a makeover. Or at least Bravo does, because they sent in a team from Priv. It is the finale episode of the season and we are watching someone’s sixty-eight year old mom get a makeover. I am not making this up. Kelly tells her newly painted mother that she can’t deal with Michael anymore. He’s nice one minute and mean the next. Thus the divorce.
Tamra is going to her daughter’s graduation. So of course she is talking about it on TV. She’s going with her son, who I barely recognized. He looks ill. Things do not go well.
Meghan is launching her line of… candles and stuff. She wants us to know she can still be a wife and work after having a kid. It’s a super OTT event with all sorts of servers and luges and ice sculptures. I’m not sure how ice displays and candles is going to work, but whatever. Let’s just get through this. The Voice is REALLY good tonight and I am anxious to watch the second hour.
Is this a goodbye montage for Shannon? She show her fighting with every new girl to ever come on the show, and her awkward limo ride with David. Eventually, both divorcing couples share a limo to the candle party. Shannon and David recently called it quits as well. Shannon is not slowing down her drinking thought and slammed back a few vodkas in the limo and her feet dad not even it the lawn at the candle party before she turned to David and asked, “Are they not going to have vodka here?”
We get even more flashback scenes when Tamra and Eddie arrive at the party, because this is where their lavish wedding was held. Finally, a very crabby Peggy arrives with Diko followed close behind by Vicki and Steve.
Peggy hasn’t seen anyone since Iceland. Tamra has heard a word from Vicki since Iceland. This is going to be one giant fiasco. To top it off, Tamra says that there were no negative stories about her while she was in Iceland but the minute they are back there are mean stories about her and her family on some site that is close to Vicki. Even more flashbacks of the history of Tamra and Vicki. Tamra is done with Vicki.
Oh wait. Now it appears that Peggy took Meghan and Lydia to lunch so that she could apologize to Meghan for last week when she criticized her parenting and practically accused her of child neglect. In a Trumpian manner she proclaims that what she really meant was that Meghan is a good mother.
Even more flashback footage.
Round One: Kelly versus Peggy. Kelly tells Peggy she was drunk when she made the comment about her dad calling Peggy’s dad and she wasn’t even thinking about the fact her father had recently passed. She said that she just felt like Peggy was acting like a playground child and she reacted in kind. Kelly says she doesn’t respond well to Peggy’s controlling behaviors. It seems these two are going to put a band-aid on it for now.
David asks Diko why he came after Shannon about something he said. Diko apologies to David. Tamra interrupts to apologize to Diko for calling him a little bitch. For those counting along at home that that’s three detentes. Tamra goes to Peggy smooth things over with her. Both Diko and Peggy are claiming that Diko was not acting like a little bitch by approaching Shannon alone for something her husband said. I still contend that he was. But hey so far there is a lot of stuff being swept under the rug. Enter, an already wobbly Shannon to crossed the bumpy rug. Shannon is not sweeping anything under the rug. She confronts Peggy for having the audacity to ask her if she trusts her husband. I agree with Shannon. Tamra is sticking up for Peggy! Oh this will go well. Peggy reverses her position and now admits that she did confront Shannon with fake tears about what David said to Diko. Shannon points out the ever-changing stories of Peggy and Peggy responds with, “Are you okay?” This sends Shannon into a vodka fueled worldwind where she lands at the bar for a another Grey Goose. She calls Peggy a fucking lunatic and storms off. How the hell am I on Team Drunk Shannon at this point?
Peggy actually smirked as Shannon stormed off. Mission accomplished. Peggy is ready to make her grand exit and her husband should have let her do it. Instead, he wants to stay longer
in front the cameras at the party and encourages her to talk it out with Shannon. Tamra helps push Shannon back into the ring.
Suddenly, Vicki reappears from wherever she has been hiding all night and joins Shannon and Kelly.
Then a montage of the Mrs. Roper Party. These clips are from all the many years. Are they saying good-bye to the whole series, just in cast the casting doesn’t go well?
Everyone is now back in the circle as Peggy appears with Tamra to apologize to Shannon. Sort of. She says she feels bad if Shannon felt bad about what Diko said to her. Tamra translates, “Peggy is saying she is sorry.” Then she actually says the words, “I apologize.”
You know what I need resolution to? Why does Peggy’s hair always look like a rat’s nest in the back? She showed off some more new jewelry at the beginning of the episode. Could she perhaps left off one piece and bought a five dollar Goody hairbrush at the Kroger? I’m serious. I do not think she has brushed the back of her head since 1989.
Kelly is drunk off her ass after gulping several tequilas so she goes up to Vicki and Michael and starts acting like an asshole. Michael walks away like a gentleman. Vicki tries to calm Kelly down and keep her from making an ass of herself. Kelly is way too far gone for that to work. Vicki tells Kelly that she needs to stay intimate with Michael. A more sober Kelly in her confessional seems sad about the split.
Kelly sold the beach house and has filed for divorce from Michael. Again.
Meghan has convinced Jim to have another baby. They are currently going through IVF and they are trying for a boy.
Lydia stopped taking the pill after Doug’s vasectomy. She is already ready to defrost the sperm and try for a girl.
Shannon’s rental house was sold by the owner. The have moved into separate residences.
Vicki convinced Steve to buy a vacation home with her. But she could not convince Brianna to stay in OC she and Ryan are moving to North Carolina with the boys.
Peggy’s daughters have moved out and they are attending college in LA. They still come home for food, laundry and money.
Tamra attended Sidney’s graduation and had dinner with Sidney and Simon. Shortly there after they had a falling out and are no longer speaking.
I hated this season, so why do I feel a little bit said that it is over? What are your thoughts?