Ladies and Gentlemen, on tonight’s episode, Siggy will get the hormonal butt pellets. I was afraid to do any hormone stuff during The Crazy because I smoke, and the hormones supposedly contribute significantly to increased rates of cancer. Sadly, Siggy is still batshit crazy and has been kind of insane on Twitter lately. Not to be hypocritical, I am crazy on Twitter (and here) as well. I’m usually drunk when that happens. Perhaps Siggy just shares my love for self-medicating with the vino.
Side note: If you missed Anthony Bourdain’s latest episode of Parts Unknown where he went to Puerto Rico before the hurricane, it is worth seeking out. I learned a lot about the issues that island was facing even before the hurricane.
On tonight’s episode Teresa is taking her family to Puerto Rico. OMG I was typing and just looked up to see Margaret’s car with the eyelashes over the headlights. Adorable.
Um, am I the only one who thought the pellets were inserted into the rectum? Yes? Okay then never mind. Glad that scene is over but I did learn something. I would think it would hurt to have pellets of that size injected into your ass cheek though. It didn’t seem to phase Siggy.
All of the haters that hate Margaret’s pig tails are going to lose their mind at Marge Sr. wearing them. I love both Marges and their pigtails. Suck it haters. They are totally twinning as they discuss Siggy’s bizarre behavior at the pizzeria last episode. Despite Margaret running off with the contractor, she is still good friends with Jan, her first husband. Margaret calls Dolores to set up a meeting for a peace treaty.
Meanwhile in Puerto Rico, Teresa and her family are enjoying their Easter break. Teresa’s dad is burnt up despite Teresa’s constant attempts to put sunscreen on everyone. Seeing how beautiful Puerto Rico was makes me sad. According to Vice News, 90% of the island has no power. The lower figures apparently factor in people who are running small generators.
Joe and Melissa argue over parenting Antonia. She is gorgeous, and twelve. Joe says no more sleep overs for her. I agree. I would like to point out that Joe’s Biblical knowledge is as bad as Teresa’s. Jesus was not even a thing yet when the whole Adam and Eve thing started. Still, I kind of like Joe and his antiquated patriarchal views.
Speaking of parenting, Siggy says that she is refusing to allow Sophie to wear shorts where her ass is hanging out. It’s like people actually consider this as optional. It’s not.
Dolores and Margaret meet for a sober dinner. They actually order food. I do not understand why these two don’t get along. I like them both and they both seem fairly easy to get along with. They simply can’t agree about Siggy. Dolores is team Siggy and Margaret just can’t understand that. If Dolores would admit that Siggy is even a tiny bit dramatic they could get on even ground, but sadly, Dolores is ride or die for Siggy. I love Dolores’s wrap dress. DVF, I presume? Margaret points out that they both are very close with their ex-husbands. The seem to be making some headway on the ex husband front. Wow, Margaret says when she ran off with the contractor (It was a long story that I don’t want to recap, but I am feeling for Margaret) the biggest fallout was that two of her kids stopped speaking to her and they have not talked in six years. Clearly, she is heartbroken about this. She looks at their photos on Facebook. Apparently, it is the step kids that she parented from age 24. I suppose they have a mother somewhere. Dolores finally gets Margaret. YAY!
Back in Puerto Rico, Milania is missing her dad. I started a post about Joe being moved to a new prison today but never was really up to it because it requires an explanation on my part about the legal reasons for the move. The short version is his attorneys are working overtime essentially to expedite his deportation so he is not stuck in an ICE holding facility any longer than he has to be. And sure, they are trying to overturn his ICE hold but that is highly unlikely. Milania doesn’t like to talk about missing her dad. So of course this conversation is being filmed.
Next, she set up a photo shoot with a professional photographer. None of the girls want any part of it.
I’m kind of enjoying this episode, so with only a few minutes left, I am gearing up for the cries of how boring it was because no one flipped a table or called anyone a prostitution whore. But I really needed this nice mellow episode and I felt it showed deeply personal sides of all them. It seemed a lot less staged than usual.
Dolores, Siggy, Michael and Frank all go out to dinner. Siggy says the pellets have given her more energy and a higher sex drive, but he butt cheek is really sore. Actually at the time that Teresa as in Puerto Rico, the other ladies were in Florida. So I have no idea when this was filmed. Actually, I think it was just Melissa and Joe who were in Clearwater when Teresa was in Puerto Rico, so that explains the cute filler scenes of them with Antonia. I guess this foursome was actually still in Jersey at the time. Siggy is not happy that Dolores wants to broker peace with Margaret. But after Dolores talks to her more, she is able to relate to Margaret and her loss of her relationship with her step kids. They all agree to give Margaret another chance. Then Siggy and Micheal randomly start making out. Hormones
We end with Teresa’s dad telling her she is spoils her daughters too much. He says she needs to learn to say no. Teresa says it is a different time from when her dad raised her. She feels guilty so she doesn’t want to set boundaries. Then her dad starts bawling about his wife’s death. Teresa says she is mad a Joe for not handling things better. Her dad says, “It’s alright, you’ve got me now.” Awww….
Next week: The Stupids return to Stupidville.