Ladies and Gentlemen, please take out a sharpie and mark your calendars. Tonight I am feeling emotionally well, I’m relatively sane, and completely sober for now. I’m ready to recap the gals from New Jersey. In case you missed it, I wrote a post about Danielle being sued today.
I love Margaret’s house. It’s not a McMansion like all the other houses that the Jersey and Atlanta housewives live in. I’m pretty sure everyone with any sense put their house on the market if it has a big white staircase with ugly black railings like so many of these giant, gaudy places do. That look is more worn out than Louboutin shoes and Birkin bags. Never before have so few done so much to besmirch a couple of brands. Speaking of shoes, Margaret is back from Vegas and busy working on a luxury for less shoe line. Margaret was quickly caught up on The Public Shaming Of Melissa.
Dolores admits she is still keeping one foot in the door with Frank while in a serious relationship David. When David takes Dolores to dinner, he buys a dinner for Frank and Frankie for Dolores to take home to them. Dolores tells Frank about Danielle telling Teresa that she said that Teresa doesn’t care about any friendship over money. Dolores is hurt that Teresa didn’t immediately defend her to Danielle. Frank says that Teresa has a lot going on and she will come around eventually.
Gorga’s Pizzeria is almost ready for the grand opening. Teresa’s dad cries when he sees all of the o;d photos on the wall of Teresa and Joe’s parents. Teresa says she thinks there should be more old photos on the wall. She doesn’t want a photo of Melissa and Joe that Joe picked on the wall because Melissa is “only a Gorga by injection.” Teresa goes on to say if Joe divorces her she won’t be a Gorga anymore. Melissa has had enough. She leaves to let the real Gorgas do all the work. Good move, Melissa.
Later Teresa goes shopping with Gia for swimwear for their trip to Puerto Rico. At the shop, Gia points out to Teresa that she doesn’t discipline the girls because she is afraid that they will hate her. Gia is having this conversation in a very respectful way. At one point she says something like what do I know, I am not the mom, but when you were away, Dad was very strict. We had rules And Milania in particular needs structure. Gia is exactly right. Except for the part about not being the mom. She was the mom all last year. Teresa doesn’t absorb any of this. In her confession she basically says she doesn’t want to be the mom, she just wants to do fun things and go on vacation. Gia is the only mature person in this family.
Speaking of poor parenting, Siggy is at lunch with her parents complaining that Josh doesn’t listen to her. Her mother points out that her mother allowed her to go back to the US from Israel for her last two years of high school. She says that Siggy needs to let Josh go where he needs to go.
Joe and Melissa stop by Teresa’s house and over a bottle of wine discuss Teresa’s comments at the pizzeria. Teresa apologies and says she was pissed at her for criticizing her parenting. Joe says that Melissa is absolutely right and Teresa is too soft on the girls. Teresa is going to stew over that now too.
[Insert uncomfortable date night with Siggy and her husband here.] #FastForward
Wow, Margaret’s shoe line is the fake reason for the girls to go to Milan. Are we already up to that point of the season? This season is so short because production knew that it sucked. The other night Jac was posting about how sad it was that the ratings fell flat this season when they worked so hard last season to get them up. #bitter
Gorga’s pizzeria is hold a tasting party. Joe wants everyone to give their sincere feedback on each dish. This is news to the New York Times Best Selling Cookbook Author who doesn’t appear to know why restaurants old tastings before they open. Teresa says that Dolores will just say whatever Siggy thinks. You know who is ruining this season? Teresa. Her over acting is exceedingly bad.
So everyone hates everyone going into the tasting. The set up seems to be who will Teresa believe, Dolores or Danielle. For whatever reason, the script says Danielle.
Teresa’s dad is actually helping out in the kitchen. Teresa and Melissa are making a big deal out of Frank moving back in with Dolores. I do not know people like this. Why are these women so consumed with everyone else’s personal business. Why do they care?
Danielle quickly tries to rally Teresa to her side before Dolores gets there. She asks Teresa if she believes her when she said the other night that Dolores said, “Teresa’s in a place where she only cares about money.” WAIT RIGHT THERE. HOLD THE PHONE. THAT IS NOT WHAT DANIELLE SAID. At the party Danielle said basically that Teresa should be leery of Dolores because she told her that “Teresa has no friendships that mean more to her than money.” These two statements are completely different. The first one means that Teresa is up to her eyes in debt and in danger of losing everything and so right now she is in a place where all she cares about is money. The second one says that Teresa would sell out her friends for money. While I think both of those statements are true about Teresa, I think if Dolores said anything at all she sad that Teresa is in a place where she is only focused on money.
Teresa says she is not sure who to believe, her friend of over twenty years,or Danielle who she has been hanging out with for the past three months. She actually said that. I am not making that up. Siggy jumps in to say that Dolores has been a loyal friend to Teresa for two decades. Then Margaret points out that Danielle has no reason to lie. Margaret doesn’t know either of the women well enough to even offer an opinion. She needs to shut up. Siggy is already getting heated and Dolores is not even there yet.
Dolores arrives and snubs Margaret and Danielle. Siggy explains to Joe why they are pissed at those two. Teresa’s shih tzu confessional styling must have been done by someone who hates her. Siggy acts live a five-year old when Margaret tries to talk to her. She even sticks out her tongue. People really go to this woman for relationship advice? Siggy acts like a complete lunatic and has a tantrum and stomps out off the restaurant. This completely overshadowed what should have become the focal point of the scene and that is the conversation that needed to happened, and was trying to happen, between Dolores and Teresa. Teresa was cutting Dolores off at every turn though, and so Dolores decided just to leave with the crazy bitch. When Dolores calls Frankie to the door, Danielle realizes that she hasn’t touched on one of the main talking points of the episode. The topic that had been set up at least five time during this hour. The fact that Dolores lives with her ex husband and is dating someone else. She starts asking were her new man is and when she can meet him. Teresa comes over and pulls Dolores away from Danielle and escorts her to the door. I think Dolores should have decked Teresa right there.
Teresa takes her family to Puerto Rico for Easter. Dolores defend’s Siggy’s bat shit crazy behavior. Why Dolores, why?