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You are here: Home / Below Deck / Below Deck: Hot Mess Express

Below Deck: Hot Mess Express

October 31, 2017 by tamaratattles 14 Comments

UPDATED! 

Kate is getting a LOT of crap on social media about this episode and her nonchalant attitude about Jen’s encounter with the half naked woman who hugged her and told her she could not leave the room. I sort of just thought it was all scripted. I also thought that Kate’s response was fine, she ran interference  for her the rest of the charter. But people were really pissed about her telling Jen she was sending mixed signals. Thoughts?

See end of post for Captain Lee’s response. 

It’s Halloween and there was just a giant thud somewhere in my yard. I am going to pretend like I didn’t hear it and take a few breaths and power through this recap. I’m anxious and cranky and I already want to smack Nico in the face, and I kinda like Nico. So bitch mode is on.

It’s day one of the charter and these guests are already high maintenance. Jen sounds like she’s been sucking on helium balloons and is trying to out whine the guests. The drunk blonde bimbo is going to give her a run for her money though.

Baker and EJ’s off beat relationship continues where Baker is the sexually aggressive guy and EJ is the knock-kneed submissive female. The guests are naked wasted by lunch. At dinner they are white girl wasted. Several of them are hitting on Jen inappropriately. At one point Jen brings something to a couple in their cabin and the wife tells her that he husband likes her. Jen smiles and says “Thank you.” Then the wife closes the cabin door on the camera and tells Jen, “You are not allowed to leave.” That’s creepy. Then she takes off her shirt and wants to give her a hug. 

The crew set up the pajama party they requested. After the fact, Kate realizes that it’s a minimum a lingerie party, and more likely an outdoor orgy on the deck. I can’t believe none of them have thrown up yet. On the bright side, they are all in a bed somewhere by midnight.

The next day, Nico volunteers to oversee the beach party in order to show Captain Lee he can handle it. EJ is thrilled to have an easy day on the boat.

I wish Matt would make me a sandwich. I love me a good sandwich.

The beach set up is a disaster from the start. First they break the tent. The Kate points out they don’t need a tent when there is a cabana. This is all scripted. It was pretty much a disaster. This entire episode is over acted. Captain Lee is really good with his script. Kate is good with hers. The rest of them? Not so much. At dinner, everyone keeps complimenting Jen in a creepy way. The wife was patting Jen on the ass and remarking on her cute butt. She literally hid in a closet to avoid her. This was the worst cruise of the season. Captain Lee says he is unhappy with the crew for being content with mediocre service.

For this shore leave, Nico’s brother is in town and everyone is going to take a party bus and go drinking. It looks like things are not going heat up on shore until next week. This gives me time to decide how much information on Nico’s brother I want to share.

On Coco Beach we find out that Nico and Baker are both members of the triple nipple club. Which is exactly what it sounds like. #WitchsTit

EJ wore jeans to the beach. Who does that? His moves on Baker were laughable. He must be a virgin.

After an afternoon on the beach the gang gets on the party bus which is literally a bar on a bus in case they need a drink in between bars. What could possibly go wrong? Everyone gets wasted and Jen puts the moves on Josh, Nico’s brother. He is more than receptive to what she is offering.

And just like that we are back on the boat. I guess Coco Beach was not down with cameras in the bar. That was probably the entire reason for the bus. It was the only place they could film. Everyone has been barefoot in all the nasty bars and their feet are all black. EJ is the first to notice and tells everyone they need to wash their feet. Josh back talks him and Nico joins in. Nico makes some crude nonsensical comment toward Nico. They really are both dicks.

Next weeks: More difficult charter guests. Nico screws up again.

@Kate_Chastain handled it well. She isolated Jen from the guest n made sure she wasn't alone with them again. Reason with drunks, never easy

— Captain Lee (@capthlr) November 1, 2017

While I agree with Captain Lee’s response, it’s hilarious to me that the person tweeting Captain Lee doesn’t seem to know that Kate could boils babies, peel off their skin and eat them with ranch dressing and Captain Lee would be fine with it. I just sayin…

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Filed Under: Below Deck, Entertainment News Tagged With: Baker Manning, Below Deck, Brianna Adekeye, Bruno Duarte, Captain Lee Rosbach, Chef Matt Burns, Chris Brown, Entertainment News, Jennifer Howell, Kate Chastain, Nico Scholly

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. Katie16ut says

    November 1, 2017 at 2:02 am

    If that girl said AF one more time I was gonna punch my tv. At least she thanked her “fiancé” for his hard work that made this cruise possible

    Reply
    • LilcinID says

      November 1, 2017 at 2:19 am

      Those charter guests were trashy and weird AF. I did like how she thanked her Pepaw for his hard work.

      Reply
    • EnglishRose says

      November 1, 2017 at 4:42 am

      I still don’t get how these old guys can be so delusional when it comes to the hot bimbos they have as girlfriends. Dude, she wouldn’t look twice at you, wouldn’t even look once, if you weren’t rolling in dough. Maybe to the man it’s a payoff – “I know you wouldn’t be with me if it weren’t for the money, but it’s worth every cent it’s costing me – I get to play in that yard any time I want, and she has to be nice to me”. Big mistake though? Marrying her. There, I’ll still ask, what is he thinking? Time for an ironclad prenup, my old darling.

      Reply
  2. Charlie says

    November 1, 2017 at 4:28 am

    Nothing against trailers, but that C U Next Tuesday belongs in one. And I’m not even talking a double wide either. I’m sure her parents are proud. Lets hope that Chester doesnt have kids. If he does, I feel most confident they won’t talk to him again after seeing that shit show.

    Reply
  3. Jim says

    November 1, 2017 at 1:23 pm

    Nico and Josh–no class, pure trash. Their parents must be so proud.

    Reply
  4. T D says

    November 1, 2017 at 4:31 pm

    A floating Caliguyacht.

    Reply
    • Jecca says

      November 1, 2017 at 6:40 pm

      That’s a great one!

      Reply
  5. Erica says

    November 1, 2017 at 5:43 pm

    Nico and his brother are both douche bags – but EJ is an idiot for trying to argue with two drunk people who weren’t endangering themselves, any one else, or causing permanent damage. ONe of the other people didn’t wash their feet – I didn’t catch who, and he didn’t push it.

    Wait until morning and then make Nico scrub everything hung over.

    Reply
  6. Jecca says

    November 1, 2017 at 6:39 pm

    I finally felt sorry for Jen last night. She’s just not cut out to work in tight quarters and take direction. Nico has really been a disappointment with his horrible attitude. I can’t wait for Kyle to come back.

    Reply
  7. Peachy Keen says

    November 2, 2017 at 2:46 pm

    I thought that Kate would tell Captain Lee.. that the guests were getting a bit to aggressive with their hopes of a threesome with Jen. Didn’t like the episode

    Reply
  8. PJBottoms says

    November 2, 2017 at 3:19 pm

    Poor Jen. I actually asked my husband if he thought I had “old lady titties.” LOL

    Reply
  9. Charlie says

    November 2, 2017 at 9:11 pm

    What’s everyone’s glory crew? Mine would start with Eddie…

    Reply
  10. tamaratattles says

    November 2, 2017 at 10:35 pm

    Bruno.

    And someone on twitter said that Bruno was sexually exploited being a human sushi board. It’s true.

    but I enjoyed it.

    Reply
    • Vet says

      November 6, 2017 at 9:32 pm

      Bruno has a great attitude and personality. I hope he comes back on the interior.

      Reply

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