I’m watching The Voice while doing the prepost setups for this post and I have to say, y’all are missing out. Several really great singers went home tonight. Including one of my favorites. I think we all need a little music in our lives lately. This is what we should be watching instead of bitches fighting in Iceland. Erica does some short recaps that you should totally read and let her know your thoughts if you are smart enough to be watching this season. It’s really good. It’s also Banjo’s favorite TV show. Because sometimes I warble along with the song. And he is apparently just as tone deaf as I am. Okay, on to Iceland…
Vicki is about to be carted of in an ambulance to the hospital amid all sorts of unnecessary chaos. But first, Peggy has somehow anointed herself Vicki’s next of kin. She starts tell the doctor how to do his job starting with insisting he take her temperature. I’m starting to wonder of Lydia and Peggy have some sort of sliding scale payment outlined in their contracts based on how hard they sell their assigned roles as “Vicki’s ride or die.” Peggy says, “Just do what you think as a physician to make her feel good.” If I were the doctor, I’d start with throwing Peggy out of the room. Vicki says her heart is racing out of control. Peggy continues to interrupt the doctor as he tries to find out about her heart conditions.
Then Tamra comes in and starts asking Vicki what is going on. They are taking her blood pressure and have to tell her to stop talking. Then Kelly comes in and starts snapping her fingers at Peggy who is practically laying on top of Vicki in the bed telling her they all need to clear out and let the medical people do their jobs. After they throw everyone out, Shannon decides she needs to go in and talk to her. Finally the hotel manager tells all the morons that the medical team is going to leave if they do not stay out of the way and let them do their job. Why do grown women have to be told this?
Peggy cries because it reminds her of her double mastectomy or some thing. Kelly is annoyed with Peggy who keeps telling her what to do. The medical people have covered her face with a robe. Presumably to avoid TMZ Iceland.
After all of the drama not one of the bitches got in the ambulance with her. Maybe they don’t allow that in Iceland and I missed them saying that while typing. Meghan says she need to eat and Kelly agrees. It’s almost ten pm and the kitchen is not open much longer.
Meghan and Kelly go to dinner. Kelly says that they would not even be able to see Vicki for a bit while she gets checked in and the doctors assess her (in peace.) Lydia opts to go to the hospital right away and says after they eat and get to the hospital she will come back and grab a bite. Tamra and Shannon join the dinner party. Shannon orders vodka for dinner and Tamra orders champagne. Peggy calls Diko to tell him what is going on and how she was not allowed to go in the ambulance with Vicki. Even if they normally allow it I would not have allowed Peggy in the ambulance because she was actively disruption the medical assessment. We get a montage about Peggy’s cancer. She needs Diko to tell her what to do. He says to grab a cab and go to the hospital. Peggy starts talking about her father dying. Clearly Vicki’s medical situation is all about Peggy.
I haven’t eaten all day and this Iceland seafood looks amazeballs. Meghan thinks Kelly should go check on Peggy and Kelly thinks Meghan should shut the fuck up and let her eat her dinner while it is hot. Peggy shows up at the dinner table to say she is going to the hospital. Kelly tells her if she will wait just a few minutes, she will go with her. Peggy says she can’t wait for her because Diko told her to go now. This causes much derision toward Peggy from the others. It is as clear to them as it is to us at this point that Peggy is not coming back. Meghan and Lydia will be blindsided by their lack of pick up letters though. I recently heard that the firing process is more like a ghosting by production. They may call the lawyer and tell them they’ve decided to go in a different direction and that is about it. There certainly is no “thank you for your service” phone call from Andy.
It sounds like Vicki is coming back from the hospital. Meghan decides they should get Vicki pajamas and whatever kind of Icelandic casserole they can muster. Lydia and Peggy earn points in the bonus round of Ride or Die Vicki by being there with her on the way home from the hospital. Vicki tells us that she had a clot in her leg and will be on blood thinners and need to give herself a shot the next day. She also had elevated blood pressure. She calls Steve and they joke about how to get her body home if she had died.
When Vicki gets home, Lydia goes to bed like a normal person. The rest of them all get shitfaced and stay up all night, like I would. Vicki loves her casserole. While everyone is drunk, Tamra and Vicki get real and have a long conversation in an attempt to put the past behind them. Kelly keeps trying to translate Vicki’s thoughts to Tamra, which is unnecessary and pissing Tamra off. Tamra is right, this is none of Kelly’s business. Tamra has a breakdown and the truth comes out. She feels like she Vicki chose Brooks over Tamra when Tamra was trying to help her. Which she did. She also chose Brooks over her annoying daughter. There is a dramatic drunken hug it out moment where Tamra is literally on her knees in front of Vicki sobbing about how all she ever wanted was the best for Vicki and she was trying to protect her. Shannon tells Meghan this scene is making her sick to her stomach. Shannon’s voice and eyes continue to get creepier as she whispers to Meghan in controlled anger, “Vicki has never been a friend to Tamra. I’m her real friend and you know it.” It’s a very “I’ve got hands!!!!” vibe. Then. out comes Shannon’s Real Housewives finger. She punches it into the air in Vicki’s direction and keeps repeating, “You fucking liar!” over and over under her breath. Meghan stops her.
Peggy has moved in behind Tamra to encourage her to continue to spill her soul to Vicki. This is taking on sort of a horror show sort of vibe.
Vicki tells Tamra she has know her for ten years and she is like a sister to her. She tells Tamra not to hurt her and she will not hurt Tamra. Meghan has disappeared off camera. Perhaps she remember she has a baby on the trip. At any rate, there is no longer anyone to reign in Shannon who belts out, “Vicki! You do it every week!” Vicki and Shannon are having some sort of ridiculous argument while drunk Tamra is having some sort of exorcism type thing happening. She is balled up on the floor sobbing while Peggy hugs her from behind in a weird way. Peggy has no relationship with Tamra. Shannon, Tamra’s best friend, can’t be bothered to get off the couch.
Vicki, who just got out of the hospital, decides to go to bed and call Steve. Tamra continues to sob on the floor with Peggy. I think Peggy just flocks to the drama for camera time. She doesn’t give a rat’s ass about any of these people. Especially Tamra. Meghan reappears with a champagne bottle. Tamra is passed around like a colicky baby to everyone. It’s just bizarro world.
The next day, Lydia is up early drinking coffee and doing some morning bible study. But she is soon caught up on all the drama. Peggy and Kelly went at it late night and Peggy threatened to have Diko call Kelly’s husband. Tamra peed her pants, slept in them and is now walking around chatting with the girls in the same sweatpants, probably still drunk. Vicki seems really drunk too. They were drinking until 5 am. Peggy has a do not disturb sign on her door. That doesn’t work with Vicki and Tamra. Despite everyone trying to knock and text and call her, Peggy is non-responsive. So they all leave her for dead and go shopping. Kelly’s hatred for Peggy is stressed on the car ride to town.
We get exactly two minutes to see a very cut little town in Iceland and a beautiful church. Everyone gets along fine, even Shannon and Vicki. Shannon does make it clear to Lydia that she still hates Vicki and is simply trying to enjoy the shopping day.
Back at the hotel, Vicki goes to give Peggy a present. The Do Not Disturb sign is still on the door and Peggy is not answering. Eventually, Lydia gets Peggy to let them know she is alive. She does not open the door. She continues to pout in her room. In confessional she said the previous night was the worst of her life because Kelly called her a fucking idiot and everyone else laughed at her. Oh please, is she twelve or 45?
Next Week: We finally see more of Iceland when the ladies go out to get drunk with Vikings.